The second, heavy metal door slammed loudly as I continued
to walk quietly towards the Charge Nurse’s desk on Friday night. A familiar
long locks of hair greeted me as she just hang up the phone after speaking with
one of the units.
“Charge Nurse already?” I asked with a big smile on my face.
“Yes,” she shyly admitted and her eyes lit up upon seeing
who asked her.
“I knew you could do it!” I uttered back.
She was the new nurse being given a hard time that I wrote
about from my last post. A threat to those who had intentionally kept their
pacts as they formed their own groups behind the prison walls. People whose
eyes were more intent on seeing everything, keener than what the prison’s
security cameras would never be able to scan or see. Except whose eyes always
chose to see the negatives and all evil things than to see the good and the
positive.
We had been having problems again with shortage of staff
despite my workplace recently hiring many new nurses, both experienced and
non-experienced. With the trial I had gone through with the corrupt
administration, I had been grateful that their decision to make me Per Diem
from a full time position became an advantage. It wasn’t my own strength that
helped me get through. I knew it was somehow God’s plan to turn all those
hardships into good on my part. Now, they couldn’t force me to work many hours
nor put me to work in an unpleasant part of the prison.
“Just keep doing what you are doing! I told you… Show them
what you got!”
“Why? Tell me please. What did you hear about me?”
“Nothin’”
“Seriously…I need to know, Nurse Rcubes. Because I feel
there is something going on and it feels great to know that I can speak openly
with one, “You!”
My heart and mouth had kept all the bad accusations I heard
about her. Many advised me to be cautious on the first night I hadn’t even
known her before I oriented her to what we did in the Clinic. I kept quiet. I
knew better after working for 14 years to never allow anyone to make me form my
own opinion about someone based on what they perceive or suggest. I would
rather form my own after working with that person and see their own work habits
with my own eyes. Hear how they speak. See how they interact not only with
medical or custody staff but also with inmates.
“Did you lie, Nurse Rcubes when I first asked you? You knew something,
right?” she repeated.
With my memory rewinding from the last nights I had worked
with her, I paused for a while and was careful to answer that query. With the
hope of always not being a part of the grapevine…But instead, to always
encourage and be a part of the good than the bad.
After a deep sigh, I started talking, my eyes glued to meet
her own, piercing stare:
“You may call it that…But I chose to call it "encouragement." I shut up at
that time and didn’t tell you what I knew because I wanted to encourage you…”
She almost fell off the chair. She didn’t know how to react
upon my admission. But at the same time, I felt her relief upon the chance she
might heard a confirmation of what was to be exposed.
“I did that because I wanted you to focus on the positive
not the negative and bad things you encountered as you joined us here. Tell me,
“Would you quit if I said the truth otherwise?”
Her head bowed lower a bit. Gathering strength to once again
straighten her neck and meet my stare, she uttered in a sad voice…
“Perhaps, Nurse Rcubes. Because it was overwhelming…”
She thanked me. She had asked for me to accept her gratitude
and a hug. She went back to her empty seat. The Charge Nurse’s. She looked back
again to where I was and smiled at me. As the phone rang again as one of the
units was calling to ask about medical stuff.
I felt her strength. I felt her positive energy. I always
saw her as a hardworking nurse burned out from working in a hospital. Learning
new theories and applying her learned skills in a different field of Nursing.
But the bottom line was…
Anyone can choose to have fear or faith… To have fear means
lack of faith. To not have faith means not knowing or believing in God. Faith
is a gift from God. To not have faith in everything we do means we deny that
hope that God will and can take care of us no matter what circumstances we’re
facing.
I pray…someday…that this nurse would always remember the
things we had learned together in the prison. That there was hope despite the
trying times. That there was an opportunity to grow in faith whenever we faced
adversities or when we felt afraid. Because what was true for me would be true
for her…Or for anyone else…..
That God can handle anything that happens in anyone’s life.
It is our choice to trust that and truly believe that He will take care of us…Because
His faithful love endures...
Forever...
