“How could this be?” I thought to myself as I kept clicking the mouse, trying to find something I could do from some lists in the computer monitor while being on a leave. I don’t like to waste time. I want to be productive.
Sadness pierced my wounded heart. All I wanted was to perform my job every night (for 11 years) I was scheduled to work, without complaining, helping others if needed. While some lulled into light sleep or just not picked up anything to help the whole crew out.
I was the one being punished even if I didn’t do anything wrong but to place a needed request since the schedules for night nurses was changed by a new manager. I tumbled but by God’s grace, my feet were not caught by many snares placed in my path. Traps that were set up by people who held higher positions and were determined to destroy my hope.
I am tired. I want to fight but there are times doubt creeps in. Doubt that I can ever overcome because the process is just too long. Deep inside, I know that thinking is a lie. A big lie. I know that I am being taught to persevere. To endure. To remain trusting. After all, if we know the truth, there is no reason to explain it. We just go for it and never oppose it. His Word. True promises that in His perfect time will help me rise above this difficulty I’m in. God, please help me endure.
“But those who wait on the Lord will find new strength. They will fly high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.” – Isaiah 40:31 (NLT)