I browsed at the State’s site for job openings for Correctional Nurses that could be near my home. I couldn’t imagine going back to the hospital because of my neck injury. I wasn’t disappointed. There were plenty of openings. But I questioned myself “Why?”
I shouldn’t look yet but wait for His perfect timing. I knew I worked so hard for many years, the moment He took me out of my comfort zone and blessed me with His strength to be in this dark place. The job wasn’t hard. It was always the people I worked with, that was the sole issue of having difficulties all around. Yet…I worked hard and respected everyone even if a person was known to be mean.
In working part time, I had learned to be contented. Yes, it was lesser income but the joy of having more quality time with my family was incomparable to any sum of money. The more time I had spent with my child, the more time I had to not only teach him, but also of myself in sharing His Word. I knew people noticed that…They were wondering why I had not been working many hours, working only 8 hours, 4 hours shorter than the rest did. They were wondering why I kept mum when it came to my own business. They wanted to know….
I told them…”Thanks be to God Who made my husband and I able to do this…” (“But flee from these things, you man of God, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, perseverance and gentleness. – 1 Timothy 6:11).
But they wouldn’t want to believe that.
Many years, I endured many unfair treatments so obvious. And what I’m facing now seemed to be the worst. (Yet, I knew it wasn't deep inside knowing His yoke is light). It had gone to the point that they were looking for that reason to “kick me out.”
I wanted to be angry. They were not listening to whatever I said. I knew that their reason had no basis. Some of them were not even there yet when I started working. They didn’t know me… Yet, in my anger, I remained respectful. Careful not to reflect words and actions that would not glorify God, because I knew that it was what He always wanted. But deep in my heart, I knew they were wrong with their accusations. And my trust never wavered with the One Who knew it all. The One Who knew my heart. The One Who brought me to the prison. And I knew, I was truly fighting with unseen enemies. But I wasn’t afraid because of Him. He donned His Armor when I met Him.
God warned us to be “angry” yet NOT TO SIN….and not to give the devil an opportunity…” (Ephesians 4:26-27)
I am angry…with all their wrong motives and false accusations. While I tried to respect them, consulting Him many times, I knew I needed to defend myself. No one can be above the law. For there is One Who is the Highest Authority watching everything that unfolds. Recording every words, every actions.
I would not go to their level. I would not speak the way they spoke. I would not do things the way they did things. But when my response hit them, it would give them no dignity nor satisfaction. I did not want the kind of anger they were brewing. I wanted the kind of anger that only comes from God.Righteous.
Righteous against unbelief. Righteous against the hardness of hearts. Righteous against hypocrisy. Righteous against false teaching….Not exploding. Always slowly provoked. Does not take pleasure in seeing people suffer from their wrong actions. Always under control…
Lord, may You be glorified in all of this. Please continue to guide me with Your wisdom and give me discernment. Thank you for picking me up whenever I fall. Thank You for holding me in Your arms and comforting me when I am feeling weak. Thank You for healing my wounds. Thank You for loving me unconditionally. May Your light shine and illuminate those dark areas I am in now. Lord, may all the evil deeds be exposed under Your light and I pray that so these people will come to know Your love and grace. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.
Friends, oh how the Lord had quickly granted an opportunity as I took my first step yesterday…The fight has not begun. But I trust in His wonderful promises because He is faithful…We are all under constant spiritual attacks. Please do not forget to pray for each other. I want to let you know my hubby and I pray for you all. And we thank you from our hearts for your love and prayers. God bless and may you all have a wonderful Thursday!!! Be strong in the Lord’s mighty power!