Trusting By Faith

He started whining as soon as I emerged into the male side waiting area of the jail’s Infirmary that night. His huge, thick glasses was familiar to me. His wooden cane sitting right next to him on the floor. He was impatiently mumbling as he had been sitting on a cold, green mattress, his legs partially covered with the jail’s tan blanket. There was an emesis basin on his far left. Except no one was seeing any vomiting since he arrived, complaining of chest pain.

“No one was paying attention to me, nurse,” he complained as he saw me arrived, perhaps, recognizing me as a previous treating nurse when he had his blood pressure way high. Trying to evoke sympathy and hoping I would be the one to treat him as I arrived, he kept complaining.

I kept walking past these waiting bodies, including him, as the deputy popped open the heavy security doors and started watching me as I approached the Clinic.

That male inmate became famous to the nursing staff for his hypertension that couldn’t be controlled. He was often brought to the county’s ER to be treated for chest pain. He learned he could get Dilaudid [a potent narcotic] this way. Everyone was cheering when he was transferred to a state prison. For some reason, he was back. The moment he first complained, there was none from the staff who couldn’t recognize him. He was barely there and his medical chart kept growing and the number of trips to the hospital, piling. The jail doctor knew, there had to be a way to find out if his complaints were valid or not. He sent him for an angiogram of his heart [x-ray]. The result was negative. Ever since, he gave an order: to consult the on-call physicians at times that there was no doctor available in the jail. Because of the result of his angiogram, the ambulance trips were often denied.

Staff had grown tired of him. He knew how to play his game well. Except this time, he was not winning to get the Dilaudid that he wanted. He couldn’t do anything. Except to wait on that mattress however long the staff wanted to treat him. Some yelling at him for not listening, including the deputy. He knew he needed to stop fussing about how he was being abused by not giving the treatment he needed. Or he would get in trouble instead. He never learned to trust the staff because he wanted things done his way...In a matter of few hours,  his whining turned into silence as his body surrendered to sleepiness.

There are times that things don’t go my way, too. It’s not fun since I have this achiness that won’t go away on my shoulders. It feels like reliving the endless pain I had after suffering from a neck injury. I can go on whining if I want to but it doesn’t accomplish anything. I can keep praying for God to heal me but it’s not my timetable when things happen. Perfect timing is always His. I want a quick fix. I don’t want any pain anymore. But learning from my previous injury, I know it’s best for me to just keep trusting in Him. To keep rejoicing despite this trial. To continue serving Him and using even this setback to glorify Him. I know that’s the BEST CHOICE. To continue to worship Him. To Praise Him. To thank Him. Knowing He has my best interest and He is in control. And I know in my heart that He is not ignoring me nor He is tired of my occasional complaints. He wants me to learn to trust in Him and let Him lead the way. If God gave His one and only Son to save me [us], what else could he not possibly give to anyone of us? I know that everything from Him comes with His love. He is love.

[I went to my doctor the other day. My arthritis panel came back negative. We are waiting for the xray result. He gave me something for pain that would not hurt my stomach. It seemed to help a bit. Friends, thank you for your encouragement and prayers always. I’m just resting more lately and not using the computer as much. Just know that you are all in my prayers…].

“The Lord your God is going before you. He will fight for you, just as you saw him do in Egypt. And you saw how the Lord your God cared for you again and again here in the wilderness. Just as a father cares for his child. Now he has brought you to this place. But even after all he did, you refused to trust the Lord your God, who goes before you looking for the best places to camp, guiding you by a pillar of fire at night and a pillar of cloud by day.” - Deuteronomy 1:30-33

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will direct your paths.” - Proverbs 3:5,6

There is no one like the Lord Who loves you and I unconditionally. When things don't go right, how do we treat Him? How much are we trusting in Him? And only in Him? "May our roots go down so deep into God's love so we can understand things His way. See things His way." One day, we will all see Him...His face...

All posts/composed songs copyright by RCUBEs.


The Attacker (5/15/09)

The sun was just peeking from the Eastern skies. Ephesians 6:12 [37 kb]

Out in the prison’s yard, some huge Sheriff’s buses were illuminated by the soft glow coming from the lights all over from the tall lamp posts. Their engines were turned on, warming up, before the buses would take the inmates to the different courts where they would have their trials.

Orange-uniformed men were lined up in pairs, joined together with handcuffs and chained, forming a long line. They already had their breakfast and had their morning medications prior to going to courts. Some were fidgeting, as they waited to board those buses.

All of a sudden, all hell broke loose! Two men were engaged in a fight, using weapons they made secretly for a while. Deputies called for help on the radio, both for custody back-up and medical staff, as well.

When the air was cleared and the other inmates were secured, one man was down on the floor. He sustained multiple gashes but two of them were deep. One cut was vertically etched from his left ear going down to the jaw line. The other dangerous cut was horizontal on his left neck, close to the jugular vein. Pool of blood dripped all over the floor. Holding his bleeding neck, he was pointing at the other inmate few feet away, being guarded by the other deputies.

The other man being accused was not hurt. There were no lacerations nor any other signs of trauma. He was obviously very agitated as he was being questioned by those deputies, while the medical staff started treating the other man on the floor. They cleaned the wounds and controlled the bleeding. That man was sent to the nearby hospital.

When the investigation was finalized, it turned out to be that the “downed man who was accusing the other inmate” was the attacker and the other one who didn’t have injury was the one attacked. The deputies found out that it was the second attempt to attack the unhurt man. Both attacks on him failed. He was well-prepared after the first attempt on him, that when the second attempt was done, he was able to defend himself and ended up injuring his attacker severely.

[Source: NLT Bible ]:

We also have an “accuser of the brethren.” Satan and his army of demons are the enemies of God and of everything good.

“Because God’s children are human beings – made of flesh and blood – Jesus also became flesh and blood by being born in human form. For only as a human being could he die, and only by dying could he break the power of the Devil, who had the power of death.” –Hebrews 2:14

Because of what Jesus had done [dying on the cross], we, who live in constant fear of death shouldn’t be afraid anymore. Jesus had freed us from that fear so we can live for Him. When we belong to God, we know that death is only the portal that leads into “eternal life”. [“Thank You Lord!].

Paul warned us, too that we also battle against the evil forces of Satan, who is a vicious fighter. But to be able to withstand their attacks, we must depend on God’s strength and use every piece of His armor. We face an army whose goal is to defeat Christ’s church. When we believe in Christ, they become our enemies. They will try any device to turn us away from the Lord.

Fear not! For God has provided His supernatural power to defeat Satan and his army, through His Holy Spirit within us. So, arm yourselves with God’s armor.

Let us be strong in the Lord's mighty power. Let's put on His whole armor to resist the enemy's attacks: put on the sturdy belt of truth and the body armor of God's righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News, so that we are well-prepared. We will need faith in every battle as our shield to stop the fiery arrows aimed by Satan and his army. Let us put on salvation as our helmet, not forgetting the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God. Let's pray at all times, on every occasion in the power of the Holy Spirit. We must stay alert and be persistent in our prayers for all Christians everywhere. [Ephesians 6:10-18].