“Why do you wanna’ hurt yourself?”
“’Coz….I just wanna…”
“Ayyy jwust feel like I’m ahhh…depressed…”
“And why are you talking funny? Did you take someone else’s
meds?”
“Nawww….Ma’am….I’m just twired and sleepphhyy…”
“Any medical problem?”
“Nahhh…”
“Did you take Psych meds before?”
He looked up. This young, male inmate. Incarcerated for
almost two weeks in our prison. He never had a problem except a few dog bites
on two of his digits of the right hand and slightly on the left side of his
head…Yes…From the K-9 dog which pursued him when he tried to elude the
arresting officers. He was just on antibiotics and there was no indication from
his medical history that he had other problems…Like mental issues. Except last
night…
When their unit deputy called the Clinic and brought him
down. Cuffed wrists behind his back. Talking in slightly slurred speech as if
he was drunk. But he denied taking medications not given by the medical staff.
I believed him. He must not be sleeping well since his arrest.
Because he had been missing his Psych meds. Night after
night…12 days in a row…That he finally had to say something when his mental
condition was slowly nudging at him. To become uncomfortable. To think suicidal
ideation. Perhaps, guilt...Despite him not hearing any voices. It was a good thing he never
acted yet.
“Here…,” I told the deputy as I handed him a form that
allowed him to bring the inmate for Suicide Watch. I explained to the inmate
the procedure. Of the importance of bringing him there because he confessed to
me how much he wanted to truly hurt himself. That all his clothes would be
taken away and he would just be covered with a suit designed for suicidal
inmates not to be able to use to harm themselves or himself. Like those others
who had gone to that place before him. But the most important thing would be
that the Psych Doctor would give them priority. To see them all first thing in
the morning. And be given medications that would apply to their conditions and
hopefully, would help them not have those thoughts.
He got up. Slowly. The weariness walking with him. The
shoulders dropped so low as if the weight of the world was on them. And his
thoughts…Only him knew… What was going on…
It was hard that he
had to come through a nurse to tell of his symptoms and mental problems
that plagued his mind and heart. Before
he could see a Psychiatrist…
Behind all this…what’ s not seen is the fact. Of how easy it
is to confess what’s residing heavily in one’s mind and heart. The first step
to yield to the calling of the Cross and the easy yoke it places instead on one’s
heart. No need for mediation. One can go directly to God for His redemption and
forgiveness. Because of Jesus… His
sacrifice…The only intervention needed. By all men...
And even believers
who had already asked for His forgiveness must still continue to confess every
sin that is committed…Because it helps to keep one’s fellowship with God in
good standing. Daily…
For
there is only one God and one Mediator who can reconcile God and humanity--the
man Christ Jesus.
- 1
Timothy 2:5 (NLT)
So
then, since we have a great High Priest who has entered heaven, Jesus the Son
of God, let us hold firmly to what we believe. – Hebrews 4:14 (NLT)
Let
us then approach God's throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive
mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. – Hebrews 4:16 (NIV)
