She stood quietly in a far corner. Waiting for her turn to be called by me as I helped the LVN’s yesterday during accucheck hour. I knew her for every weekend that I helped out, she had been there, for how long I couldn’t recall. She used to be impatient, always whining like the rest of the female diabetics. Yesterday was no different. The usual bickering among them. The whining. Gossiping. Except there was something different with her this time. She was smiling. Quiet. Reserved. Her face glowing with happiness. I had not seen that before from this particular inmate.
“Cut it down, Ladies!” I yelled through the thick glass, partition window. I tried to only call 2 diabetics at a time. I never allowed anyone to try to distract me with complaints, knowing it could only take that precious second before anyone could try to hide the needles they were allowed to use to poke their fingers and the syringes to administer to those who need their morning doses of insulin. They could improvise and potentially make a weapon out of that small needle or sometimes, use them for tattooing. Silence. The deputy was pleased that these female inmates listened to me.
“Miss B.!” I yelled as she met my stare and quietly approached the window. Her smile lingered.
“Good morning, Ma’am…This is my last day and I just want to thank you for everything you did,” she uttered.
“You’re going home?” I asked.
“Yup! I’m being released today,” she responded.
“No wonder why you’re so happy. Take care of yourself out there. And try to make things better so you don’t come back here,” I added.
“Yes, Ma’am. Thank you.” she replied as she handed me back the cup that contained the used “poker” [needles].
Haven’t we been smiling, too? Since knowing that we have been freed by accepting Christ into our hearts? Knowing that despite the struggles we are all in in this big prison [world], we have this “hope” that is not short-lived but lasts eternal.
Oh, how I long sometimes to be with Him in His Kingdom. But I am still here in this world. For a purpose. You, too. But how traumatic it is to live here and not have that eternal hope. For those who don’t want to believe in His eternal promise of life, they are just stuck in this world’s system. Striving for popularity, pleasure, money, prestige or power.
Yes, with Christ, to die is better. We are being removed from all the troubles here. And to see Him face to face? Unfathomable! If we are feeling loved now and we know how much He values each of us, what more to be with Him? But if you are not ready to die, then, you are missing a lot of things here in this world. Things that have eternal weight. Things that are not eaten by moths. Things that do not rust. We don't need to wait until we die to have them. We can start now. Right here. In this corner. Now. You can start smiling if you allow yourself to know the freedom that Jesus offers.
Yes, For me, I’ll keep showing my smile, despite the ills of this world. We are all in this fight together. It is a privilege to trust in Christ but also it is, too in suffering for Him. I am smiling knowing that I’m free because of what Jesus had done for us. I’m not afraid to die anymore. And for now, I will ask for His guidance and wisdom to help me live the remaining days of my life devoting my time to reflect what His love and grace means to those who haven’t come to know Him.
"Have you accepted the Lord Jesus into your heart?"
Don't be a prisoner of this world. Be a prisoner of hope!
“For I live in eager expectation and hope that I will never do anything that causes me shame, but that I will always be bold for Christ, as I have been in the past, and that my life will always honor Christ, whether I live or die. For to me, living is for Christ, and dying is even better.” - Philippians 1:20-21
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