It was a blessing to hear that one of his mentors was a brother in Christ. But like us, he could only offer his best encouragement, prayers, and his own life's lessons. The decision or making a not so easy choice would still fall on my son alone.
Each slow, tough day and sleepless nights, did nothing but rubbed more salt on his already wounded mind and heart. I knew life's events could turn upside down without any warning. But experiencing it was different and even harder if it involved your own flesh and blood.
How much advices could my husband and I give that would soothe the painful sting to a heart stabbed so deep?
Last night, each time my son would emerge out from his bedroom, my heart would beat faster, anticipating the interventions I could offer. Yet, I felt of being the opposite. No help!
He sat down next to the couch I was sitting. Meeting my gaze, he started disclosing what he felt was a possible door God was leading him to. I knew it was time for me to just "listen". Through his words, I was the one helped by his sharing instead. As a man now, I was blown away by his selfless intention of wanting to help others by using the talent God gave him. Reflecting on a few incidents that transpired, I felt God was revealing His confirmations to his wounded heart. In his short moment of solitude, as he lamented the "Why's", God met him in that silence & showed him an option to where He wanted him to go.
With my son's trial, I have learned a lot myself. That when we feel we are being attacked by our spiritual enemies, we shouldn't be paralyzed. Instead, we should try to focus on God alone. Instead of thinking we are being attacked, we should ask ourselves first... "God, where do you want me to be? What do you want me to do for You?"
I could tell you now that having a taste of my son's own pain, how in a flash, putting his ordeal in God's light gave him hope and a purpose.
"Come to our church..." I remember him telling me someone invited him to be encouraged, maybe even prayed for...
That is a nice gesture. But it also reminded me...We don't need to go anywhere especially if unable to move when a fierce storm and gigantic waves seem to topple the boat of our lives. We are His church. His people. To which He addressed that "We must always be joyful, pray continually, and give thanks in all circumstances to our God." We can pray. Right there. Right at that moment. Not a one time thing to do. But continuously. Not only for ourselves but much more for others.
That is His will. In Christ Jesus!
I'm writing about this because I want to praise the Lord. True! He is always quick to save.
May we all focus, not on the waves about to drown us. Focus. On the mighty right hand reaching out to you. Because His grasp never lets go.
I love my son. So much. My husband and I always say "We are proud of you." But I don't have the right words to say what he has become and about to become...As a "man of God". To all of these hurtful things that God is turning around, he serves as an inspiration to me and his father.
Lord, I want to thank You. My son said he was used to having directions with his work and passion. I know now that those directions are not the ones he heard at schools. Not from us as parents even. Clearly, he faced a conflict because he knew the directions that come from You. Without chaos. Without confusion. Please guide him and give Him your discernment. To You be the Praise and glory. May You increase in this family and us, to decrease. May you be glorified in everything that my son does. Please protect him wherever he goes, whatever he does. May people who will come and go in his life know You through him. Lord, I also pray for those who are facing their own storms. Draw them near to You. Thank You Lord for Your love. Your grace. Your mercy. We love You Lord. But thank You for loving us first.
"For God is not a God of disorder but of peace, as in all the meetings of God's holy people." -1 Corinthians 14:33
The Attacker (5/15/09)
The sun was just peeking from the Eastern skies.
[Source: NLT Bible ]: