First Love

I sensed something wrong…As I struggled to try to get a “power nap” before going to work one Friday night. Still… A mother’s gut feeling kept me awake. I found myself praying in the dark. Inside the bedroom so conducive to fall asleep that moment… But... there was a battle going on in this mother’s heart that night… as my son had been studying so hard for the past weeks. Only taking very short breaks to rejuvenate himself with warm meals…Then…back to studying he always surrendered. As he labored to make each project made it on time for each deadline…

“Never, ever quit!” I texted him from my short rest. A funny cartoon from “Charlie Brown” and he briefly replied… I knew it was words that spelled laughter…Yet…Those were just words… I knew as a mother…at that time…they never reflected the “happy, joyful” character I knew and loved since he was able to communicate as a growing up child. I felt his energy, his life being sucked out slowly. I wouldn’t let my son get defeated. I wouldn’t let him lose his “joy” if I knew that something was overwhelming. Being a good child as he was, he would never dare give me or his father any problem. But as a nurse and as his own mother, I knew it was time to intervene…

“Are you okay?” I asked many times the following day as I checked up on him and his assignments he was doing in the computer. Coaxing him to take breaks in between, he seldom smiled like he used to. He sighed…And he started spilling what was eating his heart… He wasn’t happy anymore with what he was doing in the computer. Though it was the same element he usually used to create programs, Computer Science was never his first choice. His true passion was Graphic Design.

I summoned my husband. And after his mixed cries of anticipation and relief, my husband’s and my advices were both short…

“Stop! Pursue what you love!”

A faint smile grew and a little embarrassment showed near the corners of those smiles. He knew he wouldn’t have a problem letting us know if anything bothered him. Except it took him a long time to say something.

“Sorry, Dad and Mom. I wasted a year.”

With our hearts renewed with His grace, my husband and I sighed and told him it was okay. That him going to a college for a year was never wasted. Because through that period, he met so many good friends and one professor who made a difference to his students by being concerned with careers they chose. What was wasted I told him, was not pursuing what his heart loved in the first place. We explained…From our own experiences…That success was not about making lots of money or being on top…Many made it in their lives not even finishing school yet they did so well…

Because they pursued their “passion”… Their “FIRST LOVE”…

Now, he’s been in the process of transferring to another school to take that first step necessary for him to learn more about Graphic Design. I see my “old son” back. Always joking around. Always grateful for little things. Always thankful for God’s life’s lessons for him. Whether it hurts or not…He knows… That pursuing what his heart loves will make him be able to endure and walk for more miles… And no matter what bumps on the road he’ll discover, it will be okay. He can get back up again… knowing he’s looking forward to what his heart loves… that brings joy and contentment and hopefully, he can use someday to help out others and be an instrument of God in that field he chose.

We all face such challenges daily…Of being assaulted with lots of false teachings as we labor for Christ. May we not let such lies overwhelm the truth and love that comes from our Savior, Jesus Christ… For Jesus is our true “FIRST LOVE.” It’s never too late… To turn around and pursue that road that leads to Him… It’s narrow… But the only road that makes our journeys worthwhile and joyful no matter what comes our way in this temporary home we're all in…
All posts/composed songs copyright by RCUBEs.


The Attacker (5/15/09)

The sun was just peeking from the Eastern skies. Ephesians 6:12 [37 kb]

Out in the prison’s yard, some huge Sheriff’s buses were illuminated by the soft glow coming from the lights all over from the tall lamp posts. Their engines were turned on, warming up, before the buses would take the inmates to the different courts where they would have their trials.

Orange-uniformed men were lined up in pairs, joined together with handcuffs and chained, forming a long line. They already had their breakfast and had their morning medications prior to going to courts. Some were fidgeting, as they waited to board those buses.

All of a sudden, all hell broke loose! Two men were engaged in a fight, using weapons they made secretly for a while. Deputies called for help on the radio, both for custody back-up and medical staff, as well.

When the air was cleared and the other inmates were secured, one man was down on the floor. He sustained multiple gashes but two of them were deep. One cut was vertically etched from his left ear going down to the jaw line. The other dangerous cut was horizontal on his left neck, close to the jugular vein. Pool of blood dripped all over the floor. Holding his bleeding neck, he was pointing at the other inmate few feet away, being guarded by the other deputies.

The other man being accused was not hurt. There were no lacerations nor any other signs of trauma. He was obviously very agitated as he was being questioned by those deputies, while the medical staff started treating the other man on the floor. They cleaned the wounds and controlled the bleeding. That man was sent to the nearby hospital.

When the investigation was finalized, it turned out to be that the “downed man who was accusing the other inmate” was the attacker and the other one who didn’t have injury was the one attacked. The deputies found out that it was the second attempt to attack the unhurt man. Both attacks on him failed. He was well-prepared after the first attempt on him, that when the second attempt was done, he was able to defend himself and ended up injuring his attacker severely.

[Source: NLT Bible ]:

We also have an “accuser of the brethren.” Satan and his army of demons are the enemies of God and of everything good.

“Because God’s children are human beings – made of flesh and blood – Jesus also became flesh and blood by being born in human form. For only as a human being could he die, and only by dying could he break the power of the Devil, who had the power of death.” –Hebrews 2:14

Because of what Jesus had done [dying on the cross], we, who live in constant fear of death shouldn’t be afraid anymore. Jesus had freed us from that fear so we can live for Him. When we belong to God, we know that death is only the portal that leads into “eternal life”. [“Thank You Lord!].

Paul warned us, too that we also battle against the evil forces of Satan, who is a vicious fighter. But to be able to withstand their attacks, we must depend on God’s strength and use every piece of His armor. We face an army whose goal is to defeat Christ’s church. When we believe in Christ, they become our enemies. They will try any device to turn us away from the Lord.

Fear not! For God has provided His supernatural power to defeat Satan and his army, through His Holy Spirit within us. So, arm yourselves with God’s armor.

Let us be strong in the Lord's mighty power. Let's put on His whole armor to resist the enemy's attacks: put on the sturdy belt of truth and the body armor of God's righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News, so that we are well-prepared. We will need faith in every battle as our shield to stop the fiery arrows aimed by Satan and his army. Let us put on salvation as our helmet, not forgetting the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God. Let's pray at all times, on every occasion in the power of the Holy Spirit. We must stay alert and be persistent in our prayers for all Christians everywhere. [Ephesians 6:10-18].