Trusting In The Lord

[This is the second part to my latest post “Stand Firm” posted on June 13, 2009].

The palm trees were dancing back and forth, in tune with the mild wind blowing, as the dust was spun all around. After the electronic gate closed behind me, I spotted an empty parking spot right away on my right side. I stared at the glowing clock in my dashboard. It was 11:15p.m. I had 15 minutes spared before starting my work that night.

The past week had been an awful experience for me as I carried that burden of almost hating someone I worked with. But it was also a week of realization: I had reached my limit and I knew I needed God’s grace that would extend the strength I needed to face the situation. I closed my eyes as the slight howling of the wind seemed to carry God’s whispers and reminders He had shown me this past week as I had consulted His Word. My heart started praying:

“Lord, please be with me. This whole week had been totally chaotic for me. Whatever transpired, drained me, mentally and physically. Lord, I don’t want to deal with this situation on my own strength. I need Your guidance more now than ever. I want to face any situations that are about to happen tonight as I work, in ways that You will approve of. Remind me Lord that I represent You through my actions and my words. I want the people in this place to see You, not me. Lord, surround me with Your angels for I know that we wrestle against unseen enemies. I thank You Lord for always being there for me. I thank You that You never forsake me. I love You Lord…”

I slowly entered the door that led to the Clinic. This was the night I anticipated to speak with a charge nurse. I made up my mind as the Lord had shown me how to deal best with the problem I had with her.

“Hello,” as I smiled and greeted everyone.

That charge nurse was giving a nurse a chart so she could see an inmate that the deputies brought. I caught the chart from her hand and volunteered to see that inmate as I just started with my shift while the other nurse had been there 4 hours ahead of me.

“Thank you,” she uttered surprisingly.

After treating the inmate, I went back to the charge nurse. Softly, I had requested if I could talk to her in her office. She got up immediately and told me to close the door behind us if I wanted to. I did.

My voice started cracking, not so much with nervousness but of wanting to be forgiven.

“I just wanted to apologize to you. I’m sorry that I disrespected you the way I answered you last time I worked with you. I didn’t mean that. My neck was hurting so bad because you were telling us a lot of things to do, way beyond what we could accomplish. I was getting frustrated but out of respect with you, I never said anything and did obey. Until I got to that point where I felt I was drowning. I didn’t want to talk with you when you asked me if we could talk because I knew I would end up saying hurtful words to you. I didn’t want to express words that I would regret forever and that I never meant to say. I’m just not that way. You know how hard I work here since day 1. You know I’ve never been in any troubles. I would like to remain that way – a productive employee,” my eyes swelled with a little bit of tears.

Her eyes looked intently with mine. She wasn’t saying anything the whole time. She allowed me to speak but her stare was one of amazement, of an adoring kind of stare. Because she knew I was speaking from my heart. Her facial expression conveyed a deeper level of understanding, of openness. Her stare was of acceptance, her silent heart penetrated by an act of a sincere apology, forgiveness, of restoration and of healing for whatever broke in our bonds as co-workers. She was surprised by a show of humbleness, not of defiance nor arrogance of an employee who could have shown a lot of remorse.

“Okay. Thank you,” was all she said as we both began to step out of her office.

I felt something heavy got lifted off my shoulders. I knew a healing process had began from what could have been destroyed. [“Thank You Lord for Your intervention”, I softly whispered.].

That night went smoothly. I had noticed she wasn’t delegating the day’s workload anymore. She was just letting us, the night crew, tried to finish our expected work with our own pace.

There was something else I had noticed. She was venting out her frustrations with me, as the other deputies from other jails asked for her medical advices and they seemed not to agree with her decisions. She was asking for my confirmation. I knew I earned some kind of respect from her.

My neck was not hurting that bad. I took my break and in my solitude, talked with the Lord:

“Lord, thank You for Your help. If not for You, our talk would not have gone smoothly. If not for Your direction, I wouldn’t accomplish anything on my own and would end up destroying everything I had worked hard for all these years. If not for You, there would be no resolution. Lord, thank You!”

I love Proverbs 3:5,6 – “Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will direct your paths.”

When we have an important decision to make, it’s hard to trust someone sometimes for their input or advices. But there is Someone Who knows what’s best for us. God is a better judge of what we want than we are! We must trust Him completely in every choice we have to make. We should not belittle our God-given ability to reason nor omit careful thinking. We must not be wise in our own eyes but instead, be willing to listen and be corrected by God’s Word. Let us bring our decision-making to God and then, follow His leading. He does guide and protect us!
All posts/composed songs copyright by RCUBEs.


The Attacker (5/15/09)

The sun was just peeking from the Eastern skies. Ephesians 6:12 [37 kb]

Out in the prison’s yard, some huge Sheriff’s buses were illuminated by the soft glow coming from the lights all over from the tall lamp posts. Their engines were turned on, warming up, before the buses would take the inmates to the different courts where they would have their trials.

Orange-uniformed men were lined up in pairs, joined together with handcuffs and chained, forming a long line. They already had their breakfast and had their morning medications prior to going to courts. Some were fidgeting, as they waited to board those buses.

All of a sudden, all hell broke loose! Two men were engaged in a fight, using weapons they made secretly for a while. Deputies called for help on the radio, both for custody back-up and medical staff, as well.

When the air was cleared and the other inmates were secured, one man was down on the floor. He sustained multiple gashes but two of them were deep. One cut was vertically etched from his left ear going down to the jaw line. The other dangerous cut was horizontal on his left neck, close to the jugular vein. Pool of blood dripped all over the floor. Holding his bleeding neck, he was pointing at the other inmate few feet away, being guarded by the other deputies.

The other man being accused was not hurt. There were no lacerations nor any other signs of trauma. He was obviously very agitated as he was being questioned by those deputies, while the medical staff started treating the other man on the floor. They cleaned the wounds and controlled the bleeding. That man was sent to the nearby hospital.

When the investigation was finalized, it turned out to be that the “downed man who was accusing the other inmate” was the attacker and the other one who didn’t have injury was the one attacked. The deputies found out that it was the second attempt to attack the unhurt man. Both attacks on him failed. He was well-prepared after the first attempt on him, that when the second attempt was done, he was able to defend himself and ended up injuring his attacker severely.

[Source: NLT Bible ]:

We also have an “accuser of the brethren.” Satan and his army of demons are the enemies of God and of everything good.

“Because God’s children are human beings – made of flesh and blood – Jesus also became flesh and blood by being born in human form. For only as a human being could he die, and only by dying could he break the power of the Devil, who had the power of death.” –Hebrews 2:14

Because of what Jesus had done [dying on the cross], we, who live in constant fear of death shouldn’t be afraid anymore. Jesus had freed us from that fear so we can live for Him. When we belong to God, we know that death is only the portal that leads into “eternal life”. [“Thank You Lord!].

Paul warned us, too that we also battle against the evil forces of Satan, who is a vicious fighter. But to be able to withstand their attacks, we must depend on God’s strength and use every piece of His armor. We face an army whose goal is to defeat Christ’s church. When we believe in Christ, they become our enemies. They will try any device to turn us away from the Lord.

Fear not! For God has provided His supernatural power to defeat Satan and his army, through His Holy Spirit within us. So, arm yourselves with God’s armor.

Let us be strong in the Lord's mighty power. Let's put on His whole armor to resist the enemy's attacks: put on the sturdy belt of truth and the body armor of God's righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News, so that we are well-prepared. We will need faith in every battle as our shield to stop the fiery arrows aimed by Satan and his army. Let us put on salvation as our helmet, not forgetting the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God. Let's pray at all times, on every occasion in the power of the Holy Spirit. We must stay alert and be persistent in our prayers for all Christians everywhere. [Ephesians 6:10-18].