No Matter What

“2 When you pass through the waters, I will be with you.
When you cross rivers, you will not drown.
When you walk through fire, you will not be burned,
nor will the flames hurt you.
3 This is because I, the LORD, am your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.” – Isaiah 43:2-3 (NCV)

I was calm when this battle at work started. None of the surprising attacks from those who love to see other people get hurt ever caught me off guard. Out of the many years I had been working behind the prison walls, my spiritual condition was allowed to grow. You see, when I injured my neck in 1997 from a busy Orthopedic ward in a famous hospital, I worried. I thought I wouldn’t be able to do Nursing anymore after a treating physician had advised for me to look for other options, aside Nursing. I let hope slipped away from within me, nurturing anxiety instead of it.

With endless tears I cried out for help. He heard me! In front of a blinking cursor, He guided my hands to type the word “corrections…” And right in front of my eyes, He showed me that He indeed could open doors if everything else had closed in on me. With the background check that usually took months only took a few weeks for me. With renewed confidence, I faced a couple of interviewers who were careful in finding out both of my weaknesses and strengths. Until I had turned the table and asked the Nurse Manager if I could be given a tour inside the prison. She marveled at the brave request I had demanded. She told me none of the previous applicants had ever said that before. She liked the idea because she said that maybe that was the reason why many who were eager at first to start working in the prison, ended up quitting, right on the first day of their work.

To make this story short, I was given that tour. What was beautiful outside was completely opposite from what I saw inside. Heavy metal doors were banging. I heard lots of yelling, either from deputies or disrespectful inmates. Fists were thrown into the air.The Infirmary was busy. Phones were constantly ringing. Mental Health Services were checking their long lists of those needing to be seen and evaluated for their mental problems. Medical doctors, same with Nurses, had their hands full with the sick call they needed to finish that day. I left very uncomfortable after seeing a new workplace that was completely strange for me. I left a little intimidated and scared because none of my Orthopedic skills would apply.

I was barely parking my car into our garage when the phone rang. When I picked it up, it was the Nurse Manager who couldn’t wait for my answer. She offered: “You’re hired! Are you able to start tomorrow?”

How could I say “No” when Someone opened that door for me. Despite the fear of unknown, I knew that was the time that I should place my trust in what He could possibly do for me. The first thing for me to do on my part was to “believe.”

The first three months were tough. I sustained injuries but the kinds that were not seen. Fear... Hopelessness...Intimidation...Doubt...Ridicule...Rejection... My heart was wounded countless times, scarred in different places.

Looking back, now I know I was injured in order for me to learn how to endure. The trials were not about to end. I was to face a bigger battle.It only started. Except I was not afraid anymore, no matter what the outcome. He arms me. He protects me. He guides me. He surrounds me.

Indeed, God gives and God takes away...I must let go of any worry and fear no matter what circumstances I’m in because I do belong to Him. The fact is: it’s not my hold on Him that saves me. It is His. And because of that, I choose to rejoice and praise His Name, no matter what season of life I’m in…Blessed be Your Name Oh Lord!