I Am A Coward

I printed out a new copy of upcoming schedule. Only to have a little worry set in as I saw that I would be working at the prison’s Intake at least every other Friday, starting August.

Now, I’m that kind of a worker who is flexible. I don’t mind going there or anywhere else in the jail, even float to other facilities. But it’s just that it’s the busiest place inside the prison and that, as an Intake Nurse, you’re just by yourself. While if assigned at the Infirmary, at least, there are always a few nurses. Not that they are not going to help but still, it’s only the Intake Nurse’s sole responsibility to oversee the male and female side. Aside from screening all the arrestees who come in fresh from the streets, the Intake Nurse has the responsibility to check all those who are in Suicide Watch and all those drunk bodies, in many sobering cells. Fights are possible when many bodies end up in one cell, as their minds or consciousness are altered with the effects of many illegal substances and alcohol. Paired with that are many telephone calls from many local cities’ police department who wants the Intake Nurse’s “go signal” whether their arrestees can stay in the local jails or need to be transported to our main jail, since we have the nurses there, 24/7. The jail doctor comes every morning ‘til evening daily.

When the Lord took me out of my comfort zone many years ago [Orthopedic in a prominent hospital], and brought me here and gave me many unknown challenges, it was still His provision that made me survive the evilness in this place. Working as a correctional nurse goes beyond the physical symptoms. The spiritual battle here is real. Many unseen spirits tormenting those preys that otherwise, have no knowledge of this battle in the spiritual realm. I am grateful that the Lord had prepared me way earlier before putting me in this assignment.

You would think that I am comfortable now that I had been there for 10 years. But each night, there is always a new challenge. So, sometimes, I feel like I’m more like Jonah more than Isaiah. So, as you are here now, reading this, may I ask a favor to include me in your prayers for the Lord’s guidance, protection, wisdom, discernment and strength as I perform this upcoming task at Intake?

Isaiah 6:8 [53 kb]

Lord, I am a coward when it comes to not knowing what is about to happen. I don’t want to take Your leading for granted, knowing that You are bringing me to a more challenging task. But doing so, I am grateful that You chose me. Then I know that You can trust me better as I perform these bigger duties. I want to make that commitment to You Oh Lord, to be Your instrument in everything that I say and do. Empower me Oh Lord with Your strength and might and fill me with the Holy Spirit. Whenever You ask “Whom should I send as a messenger to My people? Who will go for us?”, help me Lord to be confident and courageous and be bold like Isaiah and reply to You: “Lord, I’ll go! Send me…” [Isaiah 6:8]…Please forgive me for all my sins, and cleanse me. Yes, Lord, I am a coward and inadequate…that is on my own…But with You, it is a different story. Thank You for Your grace. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

"But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect. No, I worked harder than all of them--yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me." - 1 Cor.15:10
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The Attacker (5/15/09)

The sun was just peeking from the Eastern skies. Ephesians 6:12 [37 kb]

Out in the prison’s yard, some huge Sheriff’s buses were illuminated by the soft glow coming from the lights all over from the tall lamp posts. Their engines were turned on, warming up, before the buses would take the inmates to the different courts where they would have their trials.

Orange-uniformed men were lined up in pairs, joined together with handcuffs and chained, forming a long line. They already had their breakfast and had their morning medications prior to going to courts. Some were fidgeting, as they waited to board those buses.

All of a sudden, all hell broke loose! Two men were engaged in a fight, using weapons they made secretly for a while. Deputies called for help on the radio, both for custody back-up and medical staff, as well.

When the air was cleared and the other inmates were secured, one man was down on the floor. He sustained multiple gashes but two of them were deep. One cut was vertically etched from his left ear going down to the jaw line. The other dangerous cut was horizontal on his left neck, close to the jugular vein. Pool of blood dripped all over the floor. Holding his bleeding neck, he was pointing at the other inmate few feet away, being guarded by the other deputies.

The other man being accused was not hurt. There were no lacerations nor any other signs of trauma. He was obviously very agitated as he was being questioned by those deputies, while the medical staff started treating the other man on the floor. They cleaned the wounds and controlled the bleeding. That man was sent to the nearby hospital.

When the investigation was finalized, it turned out to be that the “downed man who was accusing the other inmate” was the attacker and the other one who didn’t have injury was the one attacked. The deputies found out that it was the second attempt to attack the unhurt man. Both attacks on him failed. He was well-prepared after the first attempt on him, that when the second attempt was done, he was able to defend himself and ended up injuring his attacker severely.

[Source: NLT Bible ]:

We also have an “accuser of the brethren.” Satan and his army of demons are the enemies of God and of everything good.

“Because God’s children are human beings – made of flesh and blood – Jesus also became flesh and blood by being born in human form. For only as a human being could he die, and only by dying could he break the power of the Devil, who had the power of death.” –Hebrews 2:14

Because of what Jesus had done [dying on the cross], we, who live in constant fear of death shouldn’t be afraid anymore. Jesus had freed us from that fear so we can live for Him. When we belong to God, we know that death is only the portal that leads into “eternal life”. [“Thank You Lord!].

Paul warned us, too that we also battle against the evil forces of Satan, who is a vicious fighter. But to be able to withstand their attacks, we must depend on God’s strength and use every piece of His armor. We face an army whose goal is to defeat Christ’s church. When we believe in Christ, they become our enemies. They will try any device to turn us away from the Lord.

Fear not! For God has provided His supernatural power to defeat Satan and his army, through His Holy Spirit within us. So, arm yourselves with God’s armor.

Let us be strong in the Lord's mighty power. Let's put on His whole armor to resist the enemy's attacks: put on the sturdy belt of truth and the body armor of God's righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News, so that we are well-prepared. We will need faith in every battle as our shield to stop the fiery arrows aimed by Satan and his army. Let us put on salvation as our helmet, not forgetting the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God. Let's pray at all times, on every occasion in the power of the Holy Spirit. We must stay alert and be persistent in our prayers for all Christians everywhere. [Ephesians 6:10-18].