I Am A Coward

I printed out a new copy of upcoming schedule. Only to have a little worry set in as I saw that I would be working at the prison’s Intake at least every other Friday, starting August.

Now, I’m that kind of a worker who is flexible. I don’t mind going there or anywhere else in the jail, even float to other facilities. But it’s just that it’s the busiest place inside the prison and that, as an Intake Nurse, you’re just by yourself. While if assigned at the Infirmary, at least, there are always a few nurses. Not that they are not going to help but still, it’s only the Intake Nurse’s sole responsibility to oversee the male and female side. Aside from screening all the arrestees who come in fresh from the streets, the Intake Nurse has the responsibility to check all those who are in Suicide Watch and all those drunk bodies, in many sobering cells. Fights are possible when many bodies end up in one cell, as their minds or consciousness are altered with the effects of many illegal substances and alcohol. Paired with that are many telephone calls from many local cities’ police department who wants the Intake Nurse’s “go signal” whether their arrestees can stay in the local jails or need to be transported to our main jail, since we have the nurses there, 24/7. The jail doctor comes every morning ‘til evening daily.

When the Lord took me out of my comfort zone many years ago [Orthopedic in a prominent hospital], and brought me here and gave me many unknown challenges, it was still His provision that made me survive the evilness in this place. Working as a correctional nurse goes beyond the physical symptoms. The spiritual battle here is real. Many unseen spirits tormenting those preys that otherwise, have no knowledge of this battle in the spiritual realm. I am grateful that the Lord had prepared me way earlier before putting me in this assignment.

You would think that I am comfortable now that I had been there for 10 years. But each night, there is always a new challenge. So, sometimes, I feel like I’m more like Jonah more than Isaiah. So, as you are here now, reading this, may I ask a favor to include me in your prayers for the Lord’s guidance, protection, wisdom, discernment and strength as I perform this upcoming task at Intake?







Lord, I am a coward when it comes to not knowing what is about to happen. I don’t want to take Your leading for granted, knowing that You are bringing me to a more challenging task. But doing so, I am grateful that You chose me. Then I know that You can trust me better as I perform these bigger duties. I want to make that commitment to You Oh Lord, to be Your instrument in everything that I say and do. Empower me Oh Lord with Your strength and might and fill me with the Holy Spirit. Whenever You ask “Whom should I send as a messenger to My people? Who will go for us?”, help me Lord to be confident and courageous and be bold like Isaiah and reply to You: “Lord, I’ll go! Send me…” [Isaiah 6:8]…Please forgive me for all my sins, and cleanse me. Yes, Lord, I am a coward and inadequate…that is on my own…But with You, it is a different story. Thank You for Your grace. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

"But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect. No, I worked harder than all of them--yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me." - 1 Cor.15:10