Piece Of Heaven This New Year

“That’s not good…” the Physician Assistant examining me uttered as he was evaluating me by asking me about my past neck injury, few days ago. “You may lose your job…” he added.

The constant shortage with the nursing staffing especially on the PM shift had prompted our highest supervisor to make some changes with the nurses’ schedule. But the ones to be affected most were our staff, the night shift nurses. He made everyone worked 12 hours per shift. It was not something new to some who had been working it already. The big change would affect me.

I had been working part-time, only 8 hours per night. I had injured my neck long time ago when I worked at the hospital as an Orthopedic Nurse. I recalled, I even hurt it twice. The second time aggravating the pain, as I tried to help a confused patient who was about to fall and caught her head at the right time. My neck had not been the same. It’s constant. But I could still do things.

As the changes were supposed to take effect on January 15, my doctor gave me his note allowing me to only work 8 hours per day to prevent my neck pain from getting worse or even worst. My supervisor complied except I had to go through this process of being evaluated from our Employee Wellness Center.

He walked in. He didn’t assess my neck. All he said were disappointing. I knew he was trying to be helpful at times. But most of the time, it sounded like he was discouraging me. I wasn’t sure if he knew what he could say or not say. But God was my sole witness that day.

“You’re lucky you got away with it for so long,” he stated regarding myself working part time for 6-7 years now.

“What do you mean lucky?” I rebutted. “That was approved by my supervisors.”

“Well, did you tell us that you had a permanent disability when you were hired? That’s not good if you didn’t. You may lose your job!” he ended our hour long encounter.

“Have a good day,” was all I told him.

I cried when I got home. To my supervisor who was patiently working with the schedule changes for me as she tried to keep me on only 8-hour per day schedule. I felt discouraged. I felt the proper evaluation was not done. It was more of someone else’s opinion instead of evaluating my condition and honoring my doctor’s request. But I wasn’t afraid. I just wondered how many other people suffering he hurt more by talking this way to these already injured individuals. Not only physically but as they also went through lots of emotional pain as they dealt with their physical inabilities to perform the same tasks they used to do. Like me…

And I cried to the One Who is always there for me. As I listened to His Word, this is exactly what He said that morning when I got up after a day full of frustrations and being belittled:

“I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” [John 16:33;NLT]

There will always be trials. They come from different situations. They can be caused by other people. The severity varies. And He constantly reminds me…”You have peace in Me. Because I already claimed the victory for you.”

As the New Year comes, I know it will be another 365 days of uncertainties, of varying trials to come my way. Those are inevitable. But I want the change not to come from those. I don't want to make any resolutions that I can't keep. I want the change to happen within myself. That I am reminded constantly that I can be stable despite the instability I will face. That I have joy despite the chaos. I want to feel more secure and more calm. That I won’t be afraid. Because no matter how many changes come my way, I have that “unstable, immovable, unbreakable piece of heaven”…Living in me.

[Addendum: Please pray for God's guidance, protection and  discernment for me. People cannot discriminate if you have any disability. Do not let anyone put you down if you have any type of disability. God loves you for who you are. He knows what you are going through. And His promise never..NEVER...fails. That He will always be there with you going through all these trials. I am not afraid. I know what actions to take. Because of Jesus. "I can do all things through Him, the One Who gives me the strength that I need." Glory be to God. Happy New Year to all of you and may you be reminded of the STABLE ROCK you're standing on amidst all these instability. God bless.]

All posts/composed songs copyright by RCUBEs.


The Attacker (5/15/09)

The sun was just peeking from the Eastern skies. Ephesians 6:12 [37 kb]

Out in the prison’s yard, some huge Sheriff’s buses were illuminated by the soft glow coming from the lights all over from the tall lamp posts. Their engines were turned on, warming up, before the buses would take the inmates to the different courts where they would have their trials.

Orange-uniformed men were lined up in pairs, joined together with handcuffs and chained, forming a long line. They already had their breakfast and had their morning medications prior to going to courts. Some were fidgeting, as they waited to board those buses.

All of a sudden, all hell broke loose! Two men were engaged in a fight, using weapons they made secretly for a while. Deputies called for help on the radio, both for custody back-up and medical staff, as well.

When the air was cleared and the other inmates were secured, one man was down on the floor. He sustained multiple gashes but two of them were deep. One cut was vertically etched from his left ear going down to the jaw line. The other dangerous cut was horizontal on his left neck, close to the jugular vein. Pool of blood dripped all over the floor. Holding his bleeding neck, he was pointing at the other inmate few feet away, being guarded by the other deputies.

The other man being accused was not hurt. There were no lacerations nor any other signs of trauma. He was obviously very agitated as he was being questioned by those deputies, while the medical staff started treating the other man on the floor. They cleaned the wounds and controlled the bleeding. That man was sent to the nearby hospital.

When the investigation was finalized, it turned out to be that the “downed man who was accusing the other inmate” was the attacker and the other one who didn’t have injury was the one attacked. The deputies found out that it was the second attempt to attack the unhurt man. Both attacks on him failed. He was well-prepared after the first attempt on him, that when the second attempt was done, he was able to defend himself and ended up injuring his attacker severely.

[Source: NLT Bible ]:

We also have an “accuser of the brethren.” Satan and his army of demons are the enemies of God and of everything good.

“Because God’s children are human beings – made of flesh and blood – Jesus also became flesh and blood by being born in human form. For only as a human being could he die, and only by dying could he break the power of the Devil, who had the power of death.” –Hebrews 2:14

Because of what Jesus had done [dying on the cross], we, who live in constant fear of death shouldn’t be afraid anymore. Jesus had freed us from that fear so we can live for Him. When we belong to God, we know that death is only the portal that leads into “eternal life”. [“Thank You Lord!].

Paul warned us, too that we also battle against the evil forces of Satan, who is a vicious fighter. But to be able to withstand their attacks, we must depend on God’s strength and use every piece of His armor. We face an army whose goal is to defeat Christ’s church. When we believe in Christ, they become our enemies. They will try any device to turn us away from the Lord.

Fear not! For God has provided His supernatural power to defeat Satan and his army, through His Holy Spirit within us. So, arm yourselves with God’s armor.

Let us be strong in the Lord's mighty power. Let's put on His whole armor to resist the enemy's attacks: put on the sturdy belt of truth and the body armor of God's righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News, so that we are well-prepared. We will need faith in every battle as our shield to stop the fiery arrows aimed by Satan and his army. Let us put on salvation as our helmet, not forgetting the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God. Let's pray at all times, on every occasion in the power of the Holy Spirit. We must stay alert and be persistent in our prayers for all Christians everywhere. [Ephesians 6:10-18].