Composed Songs

The blue binder caught my eyes as I was barely waking up from a late 2 hours of sleep after 2 nights at work these past 2 days. It had been sitting there next to the Bible I have been using all these years. Binder that contained almost 100 songs that God had given me from the periods of 3 years. Some with melodies as I patiently tried to find the guitar chords that would go with the lyrics usually written first. Some without.

Flipping the pages one by one, the familiar notes returned to that melodic chamber that had been quiet in my heart for a while. “How could I miss the fact?” I asked myself. The truth slowly surfaced as I read and sang some favorite songs at the top of my head. 

God had given me each song not during the times of triumphs. Nor at times of joyful celebrations. Not at those moments filled with laughter. No! He didn’t give me the song when I felt like jumping in the air with elation. Not when I was rich with blessings. Nor comforting times.

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Those were the times when each song was written:   

- When I was filled with so much fear as my family and I got involved with a spiritual battle as one family member got involved in a cult and got plagued with tormenting moments in order for my family and I to be filled with hate instead of love, division instead of unity, confusion instead of order.

- When I was physically drained of energy fulfilling my role as a wife and mother, as a sister to my siblings, as a daughter to my father, as a friend to those who befriended me.

- When the car I was driving almost flipped over when I lost control as I braked hard thinking that another car next to mine was close to hitting me. I was 4 months pregnant at that time and I prayed so hard for God to give me a chance to see the baby He formed in me.

- When one of my nieces had to go for a necessary surgery for her life to be extended and there I was, being strengthened and comforted by  a song being written as she went for surgery 

- Whenever I felt alone, afraid, wounded by life’s pains and storms, limited with own strength.

-When my father was dying from Colon Cancer.

- When my husband and I had to call 9-1-1 as my son, then, very young, woke up with a heavy nose bleeding

- When my heart was troubled from seeing “suffering people” around me

- When loved ones passed away

I could go on and on…And realizing what I had been going through at work from the past 2 years, I began to wonder…

There was no song!!!

I haven’t composed a song. 

And in a childish tone, my mind asked, “Why Lord?”

“Why is there no song?”

He answered me, not with my own composed songs. That of other’s. In fact written by Matt Redman. “The Father’s Song”. He brought up a favorite song of mine. Not the whole song but just the Chorus part:

“Heaven’s perfect melody
The Creator’s symphony
You are singing over me
The Father’s song
Heaven’s perfect mystery
The king of love has sent for me
And now you’re singing over me
The Father’s song…”

My heart froze. He always spoke not in long ways. Short but to the point. Not going around the bushes but straight to the fact.

With song or no composed song, I was already given the "perfect song." Jesus...He has always been there and is always there no matter what is going on in my life. He has been the song in my heart during the darkest times to remind me about His light. He has been the song at the core of my heart during my weakest in order for Him to be able to strengthen me and help me move on. Yes, He has been the perfect song which came when my soul was dying of thirst and His rivers of grace and mercy always brought me to that strait so I could be shown another way. He has been  the melodic tune that wiped the dry tears and renewed my spirit. I must realize... It was and would always be through these trials that this perfect Song would bring me the reminder that I should not be comfortable in this place. Just because…

It isn’t my home. I won’t be singing here. There is a place waiting for me.

But God has already given me heaven’s perfect melody while down here.

He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the Lord.- Psalm 40:3 (ESV)

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.- Colossians 3:16 (ESV)

What am I to do? I will pray with my spirit, but I will pray with my mind also; I will sing praise with my spirit, but I will sing with my mind also.- 1 Corinthians 14:15 (ESV)

My lips will shout for joy, when I sing praises to you; my soul also, which you have redeemed.-Psalm 71:23 (ESV)

And they were singing a new song before the throne and before the four living creatures and before the elders. No one could learn that song except the 144,000 who had been redeemed from the earth.- Revelation 14:3 (ESV)