From the very start, I knew I had nothing to be afraid of. I knew that I had done nothing wrong. I never had problems from the past supervisors when I made my request not to work full time because of my history of disability. Was I? For so many years, I never had a problem performing my tasks since day 1, working in the prison where God had brought me when I got hurt from the hospital where I used to work.
I ran my errands. But that message changed my mood. I became upset again. Upset with the fact that I wanted to say so much yet, it wouldn’t be the perfect time. I tried to forget the demand but it kept creeping in the back of my mind.
Work had called me to meet up with 2 people I had spoken with before. Two people who aggravated me from the last time as they spoke words sounding with a punitive tone. It was a meeting with a façade that they were trying to work it out with me for my best interest. It was not true.
I opened my emails to see that not only this person had called me, she also decided to email me the same message from the answering machine. It was unbelievable that she did that as she ignored my emails most of the time when I was trying to communicate and prevent any miscommunications between us. I knew she never valued my request. When I started saying a little bit about their wrongful actions, she softened up a little bit, sounding like she was not a part of this evil tryst anymore. But I wouldn’t believe anything she would tell me. They all broke my trust.
My husband hugged me this morning and asked me if I would be going to work this afternoon. I caught his stare with mine and I just sighed. He got my muted answer. He knew I didn’t want to, but I had to. Work was never hard. It was the people who do evil things that make it hard and not a fun place to be.
I closed the door behind him as he left to start his day. After we both had prayed together. I let out another deep sigh. I had been seeing blurriness around me since my battle at work began. But remembering those days the Lord had blessed me and my family with His comfort when we took a needed vacation, I let go of these worries. Into His wounded hands. He showed me a picture we took as we were traveling early on a road. When the mysterious-looking fog blanketed some areas and up ahead, it was very clear. Then I got my answer from Him. I needed to press on. I needed to keep moving despite the vagueness in these people’s actions. I must trust in Him. I must trust in His plans for me. So I wouldn’t be side-tracked. Because up ahead, when this situation is over, it would be very clear. In His light…
|Foggy morning but up ahead was so clear...|
“But their evil intentions will be exposed when the light shines on them.” – Ephesians 5:13 (NLT)
Lord, I have given You my battle at work from the start. Because of You, I was never afraid. I pray Lord for You to continue to guide me, give me discernment and protect me as I meet these people come Monday in the morning. Lord, I pray that You will teach me with what to say and when to say the wisdom that comes from You. I pray for them Lord. May they have clarity of mind and the heart to do what is right. In You and in You alone I trust Oh Lord. Thank You for everything You have done for me and continue to bless me, even through sorrows and pain. I know that with every tear shed, every fall I sustain, every wound I obtain, those are nothing compared to what You had gone through in order for us to live and have a hope and a future. You keep reminding me about Your wounded hands. You place these words "wounded in order for you to be healed" in my heart. Thank You Lord for Your healing. Your grace. Your mercy. Your love. I pray for those who are going through heavy persecutions. Those who are afflicted with sorrows or illnesses. Those who feel like they have no hope. Those that doubt Your existence. Please bless them all Lord and open their hearts and minds to come before You and know You. Your awesome power. Your awesome love as a Father. Because up ahead, Your light awaits...In Jesus' Name. Amen.