She walked into the Female side of the clinic’s waiting area. Rubbing her lower abdomen, her face slightly grimacing. It was only 2:00 a.m.
“What’s wrong?” I asked her as she was giving me her yellow pass from her unit.
“My right side is hurting. I know it’s this way when I have bladder infection,” she answered as her eyes got a little teary.
Testing her for urinalysis from a little sample of urine she managed to give me, everything was normal, except for the strong odor and a dark hue.
“This tells me that you’re not drinking enough water,” I told her.
“You’re right. I think I only had 3 small cups since I got here 3 days ago,” she continued rubbing her right side now.
Motioning her to go into one of the exam rooms, I asked her to lay down on the exam table as I assisted her. During my evaluation, I discovered that this was her 6th pregnancy. She had 3 alive kids, 1 miscarriage and 1 history of abortion.
“I’m just concerned about my baby. I want to make sure it is okay,” she requested.
“Don’t worry. This is what I’m doing now. We’re going to listen to the fetal heartbeat,” as I warned her that I was about to apply some cold gel on her tummy and started scanning her abdomen with this special instrument that would detect the baby’s heartbeat.
After a few strokes, the faint heartbeats slowly became more audible…Loud…Louder…Louder…and the rate was within normal limits.
I saw her breathe a sigh of relief. But she didn’t know, I was aware of her original charges. She was jailed for hurting a child [not sure if it was her own] to the point of almost killing that child…I got confused…She harmed a child, yet there she was, crying in front of me, begging to make sure that the baby growing inside her womb was okay…
“Ma’am…I’ll have our doctor see you as soon as she gets here in the morning. In the meantime, if you can try to drink at least 8 cups or more water, that would really be great, not only for you, but for your baby, too.”
Small steps slowly left the same Female side door she walked into. She was not crying anymore and verbalized feeling a little better. But deep inside me, I would still be wondering how much she loved that baby…
My mind prayed that her love for her unborn baby would be strong. That she would not hurt this pregnancy. That she would be willing to care and love, not only for her unborn child but with the other children, unconditionally. That she would be the best mom she could ever be….
I could only wonder….and pray…
I could only wonder…and pray….for all of us, born-again Christians, who came to know the Lord’s love and grace. We are all on fire to love Him with all of our hearts…But have we turned our back away from Him? Have we turned away from our First love?
Are we crying because we are so in love with Him, or are we crying because there is no more joy as we have gone back to those same sins that grieve His Spirit?
Are we having pain because we are undergoing spiritual decay as we neglect to drink the Living Water?
Are we like that “pregnant inmate” who just hurt a child intentionally yet, she wanted to make sure that her unborn baby was okay? Are we verbally identifying ourselves with the Lord although we are “backsliding?” Our actions don’t show that we love Him with all of our hearts, all of our minds, all of our strength…
We can have all the right doctrines and appear honorable to men, yet, our minds and hearts are filled with lust, envy, jealousy, bitterness….etc…
I am a backslider, too. For though I chose this road “off the beaten trek”, I have the tendency sometimes to make wrong turns and not focus on what lies up ahead. I lose my enthusiasm at times to follow the One Who leads my way. This road is very long and narrow. I get bored. That’s when I notice some of the fun stuff if I make either a right or left turn on those wide, open roads. But they don’t serve me any good. The Lord warned us that we can’t serve 2 masters; either we will hate one and love the other or we will be devoted to one and despise the other.
Yes, this journey requires me to make lots of choices daily. My decisions may either draw me nearer to Him or cause me to fall away. And somewhere on different parts of this road, we have enemies lurking, waiting for any opportunity to make me ineffective for God’s Kingdom.
Let’s all make those steps…to RETURN and not go father away from the Lord…
Psalm 51:10-11 - “Create pure thoughts in me and make me faithful again. Don’t chase me away from You or take Your Holy Spirit away from me.” [Contemporary English Version]
