"God, Who foresaw your tribulation, has specially armed you to go through it, not without pain but without stain." ~ C.S Lewis
He kept blaming himself for the injury he sustained.
"I'm suicidal! I did this to myself!" he constantly yelled, as 2 deputies were right beside me as I assessed his wounds.
There was an abrasion with redness on top of his head. But I didn't see any active bleeding. I got concerned when I saw the swelling on his right cheek bone. It was huge. And his right eye was darkened from the trauma it absorbed.
He was out in the rec [recreational] yard. According to the deputy, they didn't see him bang his head but that was what he was claiming when they took him out of the yard.
"Yes, I am hearing voices," he added.
He denied having a history of mental illness. But he used heroin from the past. He kept talking, claiming he did want to hurt himself.
Deep inside, I just knew. That someone else could have done these injuries to him. But even if he did do it on his own, that was understandable, too. For there was no way out in the prison. He could be exercising temporarily in that tiny space of the yard. The fact was he was still locked up. Being confined to a tiny space can make someone go crazy, having limited activities, having little contact with others.
Life in the prison is hard. Even a temporary time out of the tiny cell where they stay, is not freedom at all. Even harder is the fact that other inmates use power to step on the toes of the weak ones. They seek who they want to prey on. If they belong to a particular gang outside and if they figure out that a specific inmate is a part of the rival gang, they will plan to hurt and kill that inmate. Locked up and nowhere to go, the preys will not talk and end up creating injuries to themselves, so that they can be moved into another cell, away from their predators. To have a temporary lease on their lives.
We, too can't run away from our spiritual enemies. They prowl like roaring lions. They are always looking for a Christian believer to be devoured. But the truth is that if someone is a true believer in Christ, that person is not weak! Maybe he is just alone or weak in faith. Or one feels helpless because he is going through a tough trial, that he forgets to focus on Christ which in turn makes him forget to look out for danger and the enemy's tactics and attacks.
Even the strongest amongst us get tired. But God's power never diminishes! Believers must fight back not with their own strength but by the strength that comes from God. Relying on God is the only way to fight against the devil. The believer must have lockdowns, too, a special time with the Lord daily by reading His Word. It is vital to don the Armor of God, remaining strong with trust and faith on Him. Same with prayers, praying at all times and on every occasions. Staying alert and being persistent with prayers for all believers.
"Have you never heard or understood? Don't you know that the Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth? He never grows faint or weary. No one can measure the depths of his understanding. He gives power to the those who are tired and worn out; he offers strength to the weak. Even youths will become exhausted, and young men will give up. But those who wait on the Lord will find new strength. They will fly high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint." - Isaiah 40:28-31
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