For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. - Psalm 139:13,14
I didn’t know if she would have a family member or even more
by her side after our Transportation Deputy dropped her off at the county
hospital. The fact that she was incarcerated, I wasn’t sure how much time
Custody would allow for some family members to even be with her.
She walked in, as she showed a “thing” nestled on both of her palms.
The female deputy right behind her as she escorted this young inmate to the
Clinic. The material was wrapped on what appeared as paper towel. A little
blood obviously soaked one part. It was inside a sealed sandwich bag.
“Thank you,” I uttered softly.
“I didn’t need to see it. But if it would bring you comfort
to have the doctor at the hospital take a look at it, go ahead and bring it
with you when I send you there.”
“I remember that’s what they told me anyway,” she agreed.
Bleeding for two to three days, she acknowledged she was on
her 12th week of pregnancy. I remembered her from the previous night
as I helped the other nurse examined her for bleeding. She was just sent to the
county hospital. I knew she was supposed to be seen by our jail doctor that
same morning (yesterday) when she returned. They were watching her hCG level
after she started spotting.
As soon as the unit deputy called and mentioned her name, I
remembered her right away. I advised for her to bring her right away to the
Clinic because she would definitely go to the hospital. Again.
After taking her vital signs, I showed the chart to our
Charge Nurse.
“It’s sad,” I quietly informed her.
“Why?”
“Our doctor noted that her hCG level had gone down
dramatically. She must have lost the baby already from the previous episodes
she was seen.” I added.
“Do you know she was supposed to have twins?” the Charge
Nurse asked.
I didn’t answer. The vibrant, young female outside the metal
door, holding that “thing” was not fully aware yet. I called her and offered
anything she might need to which she declined. But deep inside, I knew she
would not need anything but comfort to an impending discovery of her loss. I
didn’t want it to come from me, being not the right person to tell her. I
wouldn’t see how she would accept it from the doctor, who was best qualified to
evaluate and tell her at the same time.
I wouldn’t see her as I would be off for some nights. I just
prayed. She would be comforted. That in this deepest wound to break her heart,
she would truly seek God’s invitation for grace, comfort and mercy.
My mind thought about that “thing.” It wasn’t a “thing”. It
was an unborn child created by God’s hands in her womb. Though not even able to
start his or her race, I believed God has a purpose in all of these events.
This was a baby God also created and loved. And even if this young mother wasn’t able to
see her baby and even hold the baby in her arms, I knew she would be the one
who would need the strength and be comforted and be held by His loving arms.
