I felt the soft tap on my left shoulder the same way my husband felt one on his right scapula. It was during the beginning of our fellowship’s worship as the Worship Director paused and gave everyone time to greet each other. Warm “hello’s” and lots of hands met and shook as warm smiles were displayed. The drum kept beating. The piano kept playing soft keys. The guitar kept being strummed.
“How is the S. family?” followed those taps on our shoulders.
While turning my head toward the direction of that person who wanted to know, my mind was being flooded with a sure answer: “Not Good!” Thinking about this huge battle I had been going through from work, it seemed to be the appropriate answer. Nothing else.
Going on 8 months since I faced many people who held high positions from work and who had been trying to oust me in this role as a Correctional Nurse, their plans were still on-going. Stripped of my benefits and usual monthly pay, they were sure they were doing everything right. But I wasn’t sad. I was not scared from the beginning. They could strip everything they wanted to take away and who did I have left but God alone?
I was rather thankful. Through this trial, it reminded me of my own limitations. It challenged me even more to serve the faithful God for Who He was, Who He is and Who is to come. Times that should have drowned me helped me aim to stay afloat.
This trial helped me realize that life here would never be my final destiny. This battle reminded me of His faithful promise that if He could demonstrate His power through my weakness, that truth alone was already a source of power and hope for me. This suffering propelled me to have more courage to face even the severest of this storm that could come. Through this trial, I learned to be stronger. I was taught to persevere.
Yes, through this battle, I learned Who could sympathize better. Who else but Jesus?
– (Hebrews 2:18, NLT)
I turned my head towards the back part of the Sanctuary. My gaze and that of my husband’s were met by a warm, deeply caring gaze as his face was painted with a wide smile. It was our pastor. He wrapped his right arm on me, his left on my husband’s as they both did the “pat on the backs”. Then, he took a few steps forward toward our son who also hugged him in return.
And I echoed my husband’s and son’s reply with a voice that I wanted him to audibly hear:
“Good!!!”
“ Yes, everything is good!”
In my mind, the more profound truth appeared: "Everything is good...Because God is good to me..."
In my mind, the more profound truth appeared: "Everything is good...Because God is good to me..."
"2 Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. 3 For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. 4 So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.” ~ James 1:2-4 (NLT)
This was a song I penned on December 16, 2005 as my father faced his battle against colon cancer.
Help Me Get Through
We may never understand
Every trial that happens in this lifetime
Lord, You’re always there that I know
Giving us strength when giving up is all I want to do
Chorus:
Oh Lord, please be there for me
Help me get up whenever I fall
Oh Lord, draw me near to You
With this pain, help me get through
My hope comes from knowing You
In my dark moment, You’re the light that shines on me
Lord, You take away all my fears
Giving me the courage to fight all my battles
(Repeat Chorus)
Help me get through…
