Leaning On A Shoulder

"Give your burdens to the LORD, and he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall." - Psalm 55:22 (NLT)

My family and I had sailed stormy seas these past two weeks. My son did not expect the sudden change of weather as he just started to set his sail and embarked on pursuing his passion in a school he thought would give him the best opportunity. He did very well during the first quarter. But when the next came, there was a sudden shift with the wind and became rougher the more he tried to steady his boat of college life. The stronger waves of confusion tried to shake him and caused a lot of fears and worries. The soft winds of the adviser's words were a disguise to the threatening howls of vague instructions that created a poor vision and sapped my son's energy and love for Graphic Design. Poor vision was what he saw, instead of clear, smooth horizon.

We had a lot of talking. In the morning. Noon. Midnight. All the in-betweens. We tried to gather our remaining hope and kept on praying for God to increase our faith and remove the darts of confusion aimed at my son. Like a weary child inside God's armor, many times my son rested his head on my shoulder and that of my husband's.

"It's okay to cry. But you will never know how much more it hurts us," I whispered, paired with countless hugs and kisses. Of unconditional love. Fiery reassurances.

Saw a rainbow while driving once

Do you know how good it feels that no matter what age, your child or a loved one can literally rest their heads on your shoulders? I know as he does that, I can feel his burden lightening up. And though it causes more pain on my part, I know through those warm tears, healing starts.

I have to be honest. There were a couple of times I told my son that I didn't know how much longer I could be strong for him. But each moment I surrendered to a quiet time of prayer,  I knew I would always be strong. My husband would always be strong. My son would be strong and remained so.

Because there is a Shoulder Who is always welcoming us when we need that to cry on. Whose Voice is always calling to cast our anchors in the deep and vast ocean of His mercy. Who is the Beacon for all those lost out on the open, rough seas.

Have you tried leaning your head on His Shoulders? On Jesus' shoulders?

The God Of Peace

My son couldn't believe what transpired in just a matter of one day at the start of 2nd quarter in his school. As I respect his privacy, all I could say is that the trial that occurred involved a huge turn in his life's journey. As parents, my husband and I were more hurt than he could have been as we knew the decision would only come from his heart. All we could do was to support him, pray, offer our unconditional love and made sure he shared what hurt him with us and with his trusted mentors or friends. I told him, from my own difficult hurdles I faced, it was holding on tighter to God's grasp that saved me.

It was a blessing to hear that one of his mentors was a brother in Christ. But like us, he could only offer his best encouragement, prayers, and his own life's lessons. The decision or making a not so easy choice would still fall on my son alone.

Each slow, tough day and sleepless nights, did nothing but rubbed more salt on his already wounded mind and heart. I knew life's events could turn upside down without any warning. But experiencing it was different and even harder if it involved your own flesh and blood.

How much advices could my husband and I give that would soothe the painful sting to a heart stabbed so deep?

Prayers...Prayers...Still...More prayers...

Last night, each time my son would emerge out from his bedroom, my heart would beat faster,  anticipating the interventions I could offer. Yet,  I felt of being the opposite. No help!

He sat down next to the couch I was sitting. Meeting my gaze, he started disclosing what he felt was a possible door God was leading him to. I knew it was time for me to just "listen". Through his words, I was the one helped by his sharing instead. As a man now, I was blown away by his selfless intention of wanting to help others by using the talent God gave him. Reflecting on a few incidents that transpired, I felt God was revealing His confirmations to his wounded heart. In his short moment of solitude, as he lamented the "Why's", God met him in that silence & showed him an option to where He wanted him to go.

With my son's trial, I have learned a lot myself. That when we feel we are being attacked by our spiritual enemies, we shouldn't be paralyzed. Instead, we should try to focus on God alone. Instead of thinking we are being attacked, we should ask ourselves first... "God, where do you want me to be? What do you want me to do for You?"

I could tell you now that having a taste of my son's own pain, how in a flash, putting his ordeal in God's light gave him hope and a purpose.

"Come to our church..." I remember him telling me someone invited him to be encouraged, maybe even prayed for...

That is a nice gesture. But it also reminded me...We don't need to go anywhere especially if unable to move when a fierce storm and gigantic waves seem to topple the boat of our lives. We are His church. His people. To which He addressed that "We must always be joyful, pray continually, and give thanks in all circumstances to our God." We can pray. Right there. Right at that moment. Not a one time thing to do. But continuously. Not only for ourselves but much more for others.

That is His will. In Christ Jesus!

I'm writing about this because I want to praise the Lord. True! He is always quick to save.

May we all focus, not on the waves about to drown us. Focus. On the mighty right hand reaching out to you. Because His grasp never lets go.

I love my son. So much. My husband and I always say "We are proud of you." But I don't have the right words to say what he has become and about to become...As a "man of God". To all of these hurtful things that God is turning around, he serves as an inspiration to me and his father.

Lord, I want to thank You. My son said he was used to having directions with his work and passion. I know now that those directions are not the ones he heard at schools. Not from us as parents even. Clearly, he faced a conflict because he knew the directions that come from You. Without chaos. Without confusion. Please guide him and give Him your discernment. To You be the Praise and glory. May You increase in this family and us, to decrease. May you be glorified in everything that my son does. Please protect him wherever he goes, whatever he does. May people who will come and go in his life know You through him. Lord, I also pray for those who are facing their own storms. Draw them near to You. Thank You Lord for Your love. Your grace. Your mercy. We love You Lord. But thank You for loving us first.

"For God is not a God of disorder but of peace, as in all the meetings of God's holy people." -1 Corinthians 14:33
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