My family and I had sailed stormy seas these past two weeks. My son did not expect the sudden change of weather as he just started to set his sail and embarked on pursuing his passion in a school he thought would give him the best opportunity. He did very well during the first quarter. But when the next came, there was a sudden shift with the wind and became rougher the more he tried to steady his boat of college life. The stronger waves of confusion tried to shake him and caused a lot of fears and worries. The soft winds of the adviser's words were a disguise to the threatening howls of vague instructions that created a poor vision and sapped my son's energy and love for Graphic Design. Poor vision was what he saw, instead of clear, smooth horizon.
We had a lot of talking. In the morning. Noon. Midnight. All the in-betweens. We tried to gather our remaining hope and kept on praying for God to increase our faith and remove the darts of confusion aimed at my son. Like a weary child inside God's armor, many times my son rested his head on my shoulder and that of my husband's.
"It's okay to cry. But you will never know how much more it hurts us," I whispered, paired with countless hugs and kisses. Of unconditional love. Fiery reassurances.
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| Saw a rainbow while driving once |
Do you know how good it feels that no matter what age, your child or a loved one can literally rest their heads on your shoulders? I know as he does that, I can feel his burden lightening up. And though it causes more pain on my part, I know through those warm tears, healing starts.
I have to be honest. There were a couple of times I told my son that I didn't know how much longer I could be strong for him. But each moment I surrendered to a quiet time of prayer, I knew I would always be strong. My husband would always be strong. My son would be strong and remained so.
Because there is a Shoulder Who is always welcoming us when we need that to cry on. Whose Voice is always calling to cast our anchors in the deep and vast ocean of His mercy. Who is the Beacon for all those lost out on the open, rough seas.
Have you tried leaning your head on His Shoulders? On Jesus' shoulders?
I don't know what I would do if I walked through this life alone. Without Jesus I would have thrown my hands in the air and ran off screaming. Thank God His shoulders are wide enough for everyone. I don't understand the trials of this life, but I believe they are necessary for us to finally give up any illusion that we are in control, and to fully cast our cares on Him. He is the only, only way. I am praying for your son and for you. It is hard to be a parent. God is good. I'm so thankful I belong to Him. Though I fail Him many times He holds me firmly in His grasp. Thank you Jesus.
ReplyDeleteI love this. I am ever so sorry for that boy's pain but I believe what I read in my devotional this morning: "Spiritual blessings come wrapped in those adverse times of adversity." I'll continue to lift him up and you in these days of testing that you all feel the comfort that comes from leaning on the shoulder of Jesus, who never sleeps or slumbers! Sending loving hugs and prayers.
ReplyDeleteHappy Valentines Day to a sister who is deeply loved by her Lord! (And the rest of us, too!) Your ongoing encouragement to me to stay in the fight and believe for the impossible is a gift. I so enjoy your visits and testimonies of how God breaks through in your every day life situations. I am inspired and blessed to know you. Hugs and prayers, always.
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