She walked into the Female side of the clinic’s waiting area. Rubbing her lower abdomen, her face slightly grimacing. It was only 2:00 a.m.

“What’s wrong?” I asked her as she was giving me her yellow pass from her unit.

“My right side is hurting. I know it’s this way when I have bladder infection,” she answered as her eyes got a little teary.

Testing her for urinalysis from a little sample of urine she managed to give me, everything was normal, except for the strong odor and a dark hue.

“This tells me that you’re not drinking enough water,” I told her.

“You’re right. I think I only had 3 small cups since I got here 3 days ago,” she continued rubbing her right side now.

Motioning her to go into one of the exam rooms, I asked her to lay down on the exam table as I assisted her. During my evaluation, I discovered that this was her 6th pregnancy. She had 3 alive kids, 1 miscarriage and 1 history of abortion.

“I’m just concerned about my baby. I want to make sure it is okay,” she requested.

“Don’t worry. This is what I’m doing now. We’re going to listen to the fetal heartbeat,” as I warned her that I was about to apply some cold gel on her tummy and started scanning her abdomen with this special instrument that would detect the baby’s heartbeat.

After a few strokes, the faint heartbeats slowly became more audible…Loud…LouderLouder…and the rate was within normal limits.

I saw her breathe a sigh of relief. But she didn’t know, I was aware of her original charges. She was jailed for hurting a child [not sure if it was her own] to the point of almost killing that child…I got confused…She harmed a child, yet there she was, crying in front of me, begging to make sure that the baby growing inside her womb was okay…

“Ma’am…I’ll have our doctor see you as soon as she gets here in the morning. In the meantime, if you can try to drink at least 8 cups or more water, that would really be great, not only for you, but for your baby, too.”

Small steps slowly left the same Female side door she walked into. She was not crying anymore and verbalized feeling a little better. But deep inside me, I would still be wondering how much she loved that baby…

My mind prayed that her love for her unborn baby would be strong. That she would not hurt this pregnancy. That she would be willing to care and love, not only for her unborn child but with the other children, unconditionally. That she would be the best mom she could ever be….

I could only wonder….and pray…

I could only wonder…and pray….for all of us, born-again Christians, who came to know the Lord’s love and grace. We are all on fire to love Him with all of our hearts…But have we turned our back away from Him? Have we turned away from our First love?

Are we crying because we are so in love with Him, or are we crying because there is no more joy as we have gone back to those same sins that grieve His Spirit?

Are we having pain because we are undergoing spiritual decay as we neglect to drink the Living Water?

Are we like that “pregnant inmate” who just hurt a child intentionally yet, she wanted to make sure that her unborn baby was okay? Are we verbally identifying ourselves with the Lord although we are “backsliding?” Our actions don’t show that we love Him with all of our hearts, all of our minds, all of our strength…

We can have all the right doctrines and appear honorable to men, yet, our minds and hearts are filled with lust, envy, jealousy, bitterness….etc…

I am a backslider, too. For though I chose this road “off the beaten trek”, I have the tendency sometimes to make wrong turns and not focus on what lies up ahead. I lose my enthusiasm at times to follow the One Who leads my way. This road is very long and narrow. I get bored. That’s when I notice some of the fun stuff if I make either a right or left turn on those wide, open roads. But they don’t serve me any good. The Lord warned us that we can’t serve 2 masters; either we will hate one and love the other or we will be devoted to one and despise the other.

Yes, this journey requires me to make lots of choices daily. My decisions may either draw me nearer to Him or cause me to fall away. And somewhere on different parts of this road, we have enemies lurking, waiting for any opportunity to make me ineffective for God’s Kingdom.

Let’s all make those steps…to RETURN and not go father away from the Lord…

Psalm 51:10-11 - “Create pure thoughts in me and make me faithful again. Don’t chase me away from You or take Your Holy Spirit away from me.” [Contemporary English Version]


  1. Thanks for the reminder to stick closely to our Lord.
    Continuing to pray for your precious little man.
    Blessings, andrea

  2. Rosel,

    This is too funny, I was going to post about the same thing today. I love yours! Gets right to the heart of the matter as always. The nice thing is that we can always remember how to get back on the right path again.

    Love and Hugs ~ Kat

  3. Rosel,

    What a great reminder and questions that go straight to our heart! May we ever be in the Center of the Lords will no matter what! Forgive us Lord when we put ANYTHING before you!

    I love you my friend! and I will continue to pray for your son too!

  4. Wow RCUBe. this post touched me more than any I've read in a long time. I love Him and I don't want my life and what He did for me to be worth little. I want to use my life to point others to Him and for me to be all that He wants. I feel too weak, to worthless so much of the time. I was so discouraged today. Worried about how others will look at me after my book is published - I don't want to tell the horrible things but I know He wants me to so someone else can have hope. Sarah

  5. This post was very touching, thank you for sharing Him, as always my friend. I love you.

  6. Thanks for that post. Your patients are blessed to have you there to pray for them.

  7. What an incredible post. True SOUL FOOD. I'm linking to it from my sidebar tonight.

    You feed this soul. ...

  8. My Sweet Sister,

    You touch me to the very core every time I come here. You get right to the very heart of it all through Him with the many situations you encounter in your working environment. As I've said before, He uses you mightily and all for His glory. You encourage me and inspire me with every single story and I thank you for that. I thank Him for that.

    As Jennifer said, this post is true "SOUL FOOD". Yes, my sister, you feed my soul as well.

    Love you so much,

  9. Awesome post - we need to be by His side.. all the time..
    Love to you.

  10. Rosel,
    What a powerful post! Thank you. I will be praying for that young lady. I too wonder how someone can hurt one child; yet have so much concern for another. I pray each of her children are safe. I pray the child she delivers will be safe. I pray the woman will come to our Holy Savior. I pray for you my friend; for God to continue to give you strength in your work for HIM. God bless you my beautiful, beautiful friend.
    I love you,

  11. Your writing makes me grateful...for His living water, for His grace to always change and grow closer with each day, for HIs spirit that helps us walk powerfully with Him when our flesh tugs the other way. Thank you, my friend, for this beautifully written devotional. Love you!

  12. What a touching post! We all get off the beaten trek once in a while.

    Thanks for sharing this.

  13. You are such a breath of fresh air Rosel. God's presence just rests here. I love visiting you!

    Thank you for always sharing wisdom and making us all think.

    Love you Sister,

  14. Rosel,

    Please email me at when you get a chance. I have a favor to ask of you.

    Love and Hugs ~ Kat

  15. Rosel:
    Sinus infections are so nasty. Carrie & I just prayed for your son with compassion and faith. Please keep us posted.

  16. Wow...words fail me, but I'll try. My eyes welled up with tears when your words pierced my heart of what this mother had done, and the chance that she might not love this baby properly either. And then the music came on, and the tears flowed right along with it. But then there was a double whammy, with the alarming analogy that we do this same thing! I feel like David, when Nathan exposed his sin. God bless you, Rosel! God is ministering right here, through your testimony!

  17. Rosel,
    It is so evident in our lives when we are staying in constant communion with the presence of the Living God within our hearts because His presence changes us, makes us like him on the outside as well as on the inside. Peace overwhelms us in the midst of everything because we know that God loves us. Confidence in His Grace is easy because it is easy to trust someone when you know them so well. And, lack of constant communion with Him brings stress, fear, anxiety, worry and so many unpleasant and undesirable aspects in life that Jesus came to set us free from. I was just teaching last night on the greatness of our salvation and responding to the constant wooing of the Spirit of God inside of us to get to know Him more and let Him enjoy every aspect of our lives with us. He longs to be in the midst of everything that we do. He does not want to be left out of anything. He knows that if He is a vital part of our lives that our lives will be so much more enjoyable and fun for us. He wants that for us. He loves us. He wants everything good for us. He is beckoning us to come deeper with Him because He wants us there. He wants to love on us and transform our lives so that we experience all of the inheritance that Jesus bought and paid for us to have. Thanks for leading us all to Him Rosel,

  18. I too pray that I will make those choices to stay close to Him today.

  19. Great and powerful post. As a matter of fact, I am currently sipping on a cup of water. Thanks so much sharing and for stopping by. I am taking baby steps back into the cyber-christian-space.

    Blessings to you always my dear!!


"Faith is taking the first step even if you don't see the whole staircase..."
~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

All posts/composed songs copyright by RCUBEs.


The Attacker (5/15/09)

The sun was just peeking from the Eastern skies. Ephesians 6:12 [37 kb]

Out in the prison’s yard, some huge Sheriff’s buses were illuminated by the soft glow coming from the lights all over from the tall lamp posts. Their engines were turned on, warming up, before the buses would take the inmates to the different courts where they would have their trials.

Orange-uniformed men were lined up in pairs, joined together with handcuffs and chained, forming a long line. They already had their breakfast and had their morning medications prior to going to courts. Some were fidgeting, as they waited to board those buses.

All of a sudden, all hell broke loose! Two men were engaged in a fight, using weapons they made secretly for a while. Deputies called for help on the radio, both for custody back-up and medical staff, as well.

When the air was cleared and the other inmates were secured, one man was down on the floor. He sustained multiple gashes but two of them were deep. One cut was vertically etched from his left ear going down to the jaw line. The other dangerous cut was horizontal on his left neck, close to the jugular vein. Pool of blood dripped all over the floor. Holding his bleeding neck, he was pointing at the other inmate few feet away, being guarded by the other deputies.

The other man being accused was not hurt. There were no lacerations nor any other signs of trauma. He was obviously very agitated as he was being questioned by those deputies, while the medical staff started treating the other man on the floor. They cleaned the wounds and controlled the bleeding. That man was sent to the nearby hospital.

When the investigation was finalized, it turned out to be that the “downed man who was accusing the other inmate” was the attacker and the other one who didn’t have injury was the one attacked. The deputies found out that it was the second attempt to attack the unhurt man. Both attacks on him failed. He was well-prepared after the first attempt on him, that when the second attempt was done, he was able to defend himseld and ended up injuring his attacker severely.

[Source: Life Application Bible]:

We also have an “accuser of the brethren.” Satan and his army of demons are the enemies of God and of everything good.

“Because God’s children are human beings – made of flesh and blood – Jesus also became flesh and blood by being born in human form. For only as a human being could he die, and only by dying could he break the power of the Devil, who had the power of death.” –Hebrews 2:14

Because of what Jesus had done [dying on the cross], we, who live in constant fear of death shouldn’t be afraid anymore. Jesus had freed us from that fear so we can live for Him. When we belong to God, we know that death is only the portal that leads into “eternal life”. [“Thank You Lord!].

Paul warned us, too that we also battle against the evil forces of Satan, who is a vicious fighter. But to be able to withstand their attacks, we must depend on God’s strength and use every piece of His armor. We face an army whose goal is to defeat Christ’s church. When we believe in Christ, they become our enemies. They will try any device to turn us away from the Lord.

Fear not! For God has provided His supernatural power to defeat Satan and his army, through His Holy Spirit within us. So, arm yourselves with God’s armor.

Let us be strong in the Lord's mighty power. Let's put on His whole armor to resist the enemy's attacks: put on the sturdy belt of truth and the body armor of God's righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News, so that we are well-prepared. We will need faith in every battle as our shield to stop the fiery arrows aimed by Satan and his army. Let us put on salvation as our helmet, not forgetting the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God. Let's pray at all times, on every occasion in the power of the Holy Spirit. We must stay alert and be persistent in our prayers for all Christians everywhere. [Ephesians 6:10-18].