Trusting In The Lord

[This is the second part to my latest post “Stand Firm” posted on June 13, 2009].

The palm trees were dancing back and forth, in tune with the mild wind blowing, as the dust was spun all around. After the electronic gate closed behind me, I spotted an empty parking spot right away on my right side. I stared at the glowing clock in my dashboard. It was 11:15p.m. I had 15 minutes spared before starting my work that night.

The past week had been an awful experience for me as I carried that burden of almost hating someone I worked with. But it was also a week of realization: I had reached my limit and I knew I needed God’s grace that would extend the strength I needed to face the situation. I closed my eyes as the slight howling of the wind seemed to carry God’s whispers and reminders He had shown me this past week as I had consulted His Word. My heart started praying:

“Lord, please be with me. This whole week had been totally chaotic for me. Whatever transpired, drained me, mentally and physically. Lord, I don’t want to deal with this situation on my own strength. I need Your guidance more now than ever. I want to face any situations that are about to happen tonight as I work, in ways that You will approve of. Remind me Lord that I represent You through my actions and my words. I want the people in this place to see You, not me. Lord, surround me with Your angels for I know that we wrestle against unseen enemies. I thank You Lord for always being there for me. I thank You that You never forsake me. I love You Lord…”

I slowly entered the door that led to the Clinic. This was the night I anticipated to speak with a charge nurse. I made up my mind as the Lord had shown me how to deal best with the problem I had with her.

“Hello,” as I smiled and greeted everyone.

That charge nurse was giving a nurse a chart so she could see an inmate that the deputies brought. I caught the chart from her hand and volunteered to see that inmate as I just started with my shift while the other nurse had been there 4 hours ahead of me.

“Thank you,” she uttered surprisingly.

After treating the inmate, I went back to the charge nurse. Softly, I had requested if I could talk to her in her office. She got up immediately and told me to close the door behind us if I wanted to. I did.

My voice started cracking, not so much with nervousness but of wanting to be forgiven.

“I just wanted to apologize to you. I’m sorry that I disrespected you the way I answered you last time I worked with you. I didn’t mean that. My neck was hurting so bad because you were telling us a lot of things to do, way beyond what we could accomplish. I was getting frustrated but out of respect with you, I never said anything and did obey. Until I got to that point where I felt I was drowning. I didn’t want to talk with you when you asked me if we could talk because I knew I would end up saying hurtful words to you. I didn’t want to express words that I would regret forever and that I never meant to say. I’m just not that way. You know how hard I work here since day 1. You know I’ve never been in any troubles. I would like to remain that way – a productive employee,” my eyes swelled with a little bit of tears.

Her eyes looked intently with mine. She wasn’t saying anything the whole time. She allowed me to speak but her stare was one of amazement, of an adoring kind of stare. Because she knew I was speaking from my heart. Her facial expression conveyed a deeper level of understanding, of openness. Her stare was of acceptance, her silent heart penetrated by an act of a sincere apology, forgiveness, of restoration and of healing for whatever broke in our bonds as co-workers. She was surprised by a show of humbleness, not of defiance nor arrogance of an employee who could have shown a lot of remorse.

“Okay. Thank you,” was all she said as we both began to step out of her office.

I felt something heavy got lifted off my shoulders. I knew a healing process had began from what could have been destroyed. [“Thank You Lord for Your intervention”, I softly whispered.].

That night went smoothly. I had noticed she wasn’t delegating the day’s workload anymore. She was just letting us, the night crew, tried to finish our expected work with our own pace.

There was something else I had noticed. She was venting out her frustrations with me, as the other deputies from other jails asked for her medical advices and they seemed not to agree with her decisions. She was asking for my confirmation. I knew I earned some kind of respect from her.

My neck was not hurting that bad. I took my break and in my solitude, talked with the Lord:

“Lord, thank You for Your help. If not for You, our talk would not have gone smoothly. If not for Your direction, I wouldn’t accomplish anything on my own and would end up destroying everything I had worked hard for all these years. If not for You, there would be no resolution. Lord, thank You!”

I love Proverbs 3:5,6 – “Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will direct your paths.”

When we have an important decision to make, it’s hard to trust someone sometimes for their input or advices. But there is Someone Who knows what’s best for us. God is a better judge of what we want than we are! We must trust Him completely in every choice we have to make. We should not belittle our God-given ability to reason nor omit careful thinking. We must not be wise in our own eyes but instead, be willing to listen and be corrected by God’s Word. Let us bring our decision-making to God and then, follow His leading. He does guide and protect us!


  1. Amen, so very true my friend.

  2. Praise The Lord for His annointing, Power and your humbleness! I am soo happy for you and what a testimony you are to your coworkers and Charge Nurse. She had to see Him and NOT YOU!

    Bless You! You are an example to all!

  3. This is so neat! I rejoice with you in your freedom. Praise the Lord for just perfect words of anointing. What a light you are, dear friend. That conversation was written in Heaven.

    I have to ask you...working the night shift,do they have a lighted parking lot? Are you safe? See how much I care about you.

  4. Sister Denise: Thanks for always coming here :)

    Sister Loren: I'm grateful that you're visiting me often and thank you for your encouraging comments. To God be the glory always! If not for His Word and His presence in my life, I think I would have talked to her in a rude way and made a point that I was better than her. Thanks be to God for He is the Greatest Example of humbleness!

    Sister Mary: I know you love me and care for me :) Thank you. There are lights in the parking lot, soft lights outside and a camera as we go in and out, someone monitors the perimeter [shhhh...just between us :)]. But I'm not afraid knowing I have a Light that is always with me :) Isn't He awesome? Love you sister Mary! God bless.

  5. The old saying fits here "We are the only Bible some people will ever read" made yoru Father proud!

  6. "In everyday life we are continually soaked in this unhealthy atmosphere of mutual criticism, so much so that we are not always aware of it and we find ourselves drawn unwittingly into an implacable vicious circle: every reproach evokes a feeling of guilt in the critic as much as in the one criticized, and each one gains relief from his guilt in any way he can, by criticizing other people and in self-justification."

    Paul Tournier, Guilt and Grace, pages 15-16.

    Who shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies. Romans 8:33

    Outdo one another in showing honor. Romans 12:10

    The gospel of justification by grace alone through faith alone in Christ alone apart from works creates a new, life-enriching social environment of honor. Who wouldn't want to be a part of that?

  7. What a beautiful and powerful message. So well written to drive the point but in a soft manner. It is so vital that we watch how we talk and to remember to do it through Him. God Bless you! Thank you for such a great reminder.

  8. Sister Cynthia: I can only hope and pray that I did make Him proud and that I followed what He wanted me to do.

    Bro.Ike: Thanks for that great quote you shared. That seemed to describe the atmosphere at my workplace. Definitely, it's only by God's grace we can overcome and not be a part of that circle of mutual criticism. His Word reminds me to not go with the flow.

    Sister Tammy: Thank you. Glory to God!

  9. Rosel,

    So grateful in hearing God speaking through your words to the charge nurse. Now that's the conversation that Jesus would have had. It worked so beautifully. How amazing God truly is in everything He does and touches.

    Love and Hugs ~ Kat

  10. You made two great moves: one was turning to God for help and guidance, the other was turning to the other nurse in reconciliation. Even if you meeting with her did not turn out so well, you still did the right thing according to the Bible. God would have been with you either way the situation turned out - better or worse. Good job!

  11. Rosel,
    I just went back and read part 1 and then part 2 of this post. You are simply amazing! Cynthia is so right when she says we are the only Bible or shall I say Jesus that many of the people that you come in contact with will ever get to see on this earth. As you lean on Him, He will continue to shine through you to others and set them free. Amen

  12. Sister Kat: I'm truly grateful that the Lord always extends His strength, everything in areas where we lack them. If we allow Him to lead us, nothing goes wrong! Glory to God!

    Bro. Warren: I remember our pastor preached about forgiveness: it works by doing it horizontally first, where we asked for His forgiveness for any wrong done; then vertical as we seek reconciliation and forgiveness with others. It's an awesome feeling to be able to remove any hinder in any relationship and have the Lord be involved in it.

    Sister Christy: Thank you for your patience in reading the 1st part of the story, before moving on to this post. My only prayer is for the Lord to continue to mold me and use me for His glory! He is a good God and He is the real deal! God bless.

  13. Amen dear one, exciting to read the progress. Blessings and continue to path to the Lord!

  14. This is a moving testimony on forgiveness -- and how it frees both parties to move forward.

    This gets me:

    "We must not be wise in our own eyes but instead, be willing to listen and be corrected by God’s Word."

    Easier said that done for some of us. But in your case, it WAS said ... and it WAS done.

    It took great humility to ask for forgiveness ... and then to share it with us as well. I'm humbled by your transparency here.

  15. JBR: You're one of the encouragers here who keeps me wanting to do more for God's glory. Thank you.

    Sister Jennifer: "Be willing to listen and be corrected by God's Word is still not easy for me at times". But overcoming many trials in my life, I know that God is always gracious to provide that strength I need to be able to allow Him to lead in many areas of my life, that otherwise, I wouldn't be able to do on my own. All the glory to our good Father Who deserves all our praise!

  16. My dear, dear friend,

    I just love you! I do. You remind me so much of myself a lot of the time. Recently within the past two weeks, I had two episodes where I felt convicted by the Lord and humbly went to two people and asked for forgiveness. I, too, was in a place of physically hurting, feeling overwhelmed with so much at the time and was short with two people. When you said that you felt a great weight lifted off from your shoulders, I felt the same thing. It was such a feeling of freedom inside and the best thing of all Rosel, we obeyed His commands and did what He wants all of us to do, love our neighbor as we love ourselves. How awesome is that?

    I'm so happy that I stopped by here today. You filled me up again, encouraged me, made me think more about things, but most of all, you made me see through His eyes again today. What a beautiful woman you are. Oh how we do love Him so, don't we? My heart is bulging with love for Him right now.

    Thank you for your loving words, encouragement, prayer support and so much more dear, sweet friend on my blog site. You are so faithful and a true sister-in-Christ.

    My love, blessings, hugs & prayers,

  17. Hi Sis-Abelle! You will never know how much I appreciate it every time you come by here and leaving me such precious, encouraging comments, knowing how busy you are right now with things and also, exhausted at times. Just know that I'm keeping you and your husband in my prayers always. It is a powerful sense of freedom we feel when we oblige to what the Lord wants us to do. I'm so grateful He always sustain me with His strength so I can do so. God bless. Love you in Christ.


"Faith is taking the first step even if you don't see the whole staircase..."
~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

All posts/composed songs copyright by RCUBEs.