Stand Firm

My neck was starting to hurt, as my frustrations started to grow inside. I had been non-stop with work from the time I got there at 11:30 p.m. I glanced wearily at my watch: 2:00 a.m.

This charge nurse was known for finding things to do. She doesn’t let anyone just sit around. I have no problem with that because that’s my work attitude, too. I don’t want to be lazy knowing that it doesn’t please the “Boss”. Every night, she delegates most of the work to the nurses and other staff members.

I had barely gotten done charting after seeing an inmate who returned from the hospital’s ER. She was giving me another work to do. I calmly obeyed knowing that I needed to respect her. I always thought of what would please the Lord in my actions. So, I was merely doing it for the Lord. But being human, I have limitations, too. That night, I felt like I was a rubber band being stretched out to the max and I knew, I was ready to snap.

My co-worker felt the same. I knew her, too that she wasn’t a lazy person. She loved to help out the way I did! We both were finishing up a lot of doctor’s orders while seeing unscheduled sick calls that this charge nurse had summoned, answering phone calls, listening to the radio for any possible “mandown” because it would only be her and I to run to those medical emergencies, and reassessing all the inmates that had gone back from the hospital.

The charge nurse started looking at the blood pressure checks for that morning. We all knew that blood pressure checks and sick calls [not emergency ones] are the day shift’s work. But she wanted to do it as she found more and more things to do that was usually assigned for the day shift.

I had no problem with that, to help out others. But the problem was that, we had so much to do just for the night shift and to be given all those things when we weren’t even done yet with our assigned work was just unbearable that night.

“Rosel, can you also check the blood pressures of these inmates from unit 12?”

“No!, " I protested for the first time and she didn’t expect that from me knowing I had always worked without any complaints nor being told.

“Why? There were only 7 more!,” as she tried to laugh it off.

But I turned my back and got teary-eyed as I tried to seal my mouth so I won’t say things that would be disrespectful to her. I bottled up my frustrations for so long that I didn’t want to explode in front of her. If I wanted to let her know of my frustrations, it wouldn’t be like that kind of a show in a theater where everyone was there and would be able to watch and hear. Yet, I wasn’t ready to even speak with her.

“Do you have any problem?” asked the charge nurse as she saw that I wasn’t happy at all.

“Yes, I do. My neck is hurting me right now, “ I retorted. [I had a neck injury from the past and it was hurting as I did a lot of computer work and was doing things endlessly].

She came next to me as I was still charting on one of the inmate’s chart. “We’ll talk later.”

“No,” I answered with an upset tone. “I don’t need to talk with you at this time.”

“No…let’s talk!,” she insisted as if she didn’t hear me the first time.

“No! I told you, I don’t want to talk about anything at this time,” in a higher tone of voice so she could get what I just said.

I couldn’t believe myself for acting like that. The mounting pressure and frustrations changed my character in an instant. I didn’t want to talk to her because I was not in the right mood to do so. I was avoiding that in my frustration and being upset, I would utter something that would either hurt her or for me to regret forever.

My co-workers who had witnessed what occurred were supportive of me. They were all frustrated, too. But the thing was that no one was willing to stand up for himself or herself. They never made her aware that her wanting to finish everything which was impossible to be done by just one shift was making them feeling overwhelmed, frustrated, upset, burned out! One co-worker wanted me to talk with her and tell her that everyone’s getting burned out. And that saddened me, too – that no one wanted to be honest in making that charge nurse know how those extra, overwhelming loads of work are making them feel.

This entire week I was off, I had consulted the Lord. He was the “Living Water” that doused the “fire” that would have destroyed my work ethics and my once harmonious relationship with that charge nurse.

I would be talking to her when I go back because I wanted the charge nurse to know that I am not a monster. I am not an unwilling employee who disrespects employers. I am not mean. I am not lazy. I don’t need to be told on what to do because I have the initiative to do those things knowing they are my responsibilities. I am a good team player knowing that every work I do is essential to the night shift’s success in completing our task. I don’t mind helping others because it’s a 24-hour facility and there’s nothing wrong about that except that if there are enough people to do the task for that day, we are making them more lazy when we do the things for them, instead of the other way around. And they still complain that they [day shift] are frustrated.

I am God’s child who learned so much from my Father. He instructs me to do things with a cheerful heart. He wants me to consider others higher than myself. He wants me to serve not to be served like how He did it, to the point of even giving His own life on the cross for us. He wants me to fix my thoughts only on things that are true, honorable, and right. Things that are pure, lovely and admirable.

An effective teamwork happens when each team member uses his or her special skills. Each member’s strengths will contribute something important to the team’s effort. Most of us are good followers than being a leader in us. No leader is perfect. No human deserves our complete allegiance. Only God deserves our complete loyalty and obedience! We need to be effective team members in using the skills and abilities God had given us. But if the leader goes against God’s Word, we must be willing to stand alone.

Psalm 1:1 –“Oh, the joys of those who do not follow the advice of the wicked, or stand around with sinners, or join with scoffers.”

Isaiah 32:8 –“But the noble man makes noble plans, and by noble deeds he stands.”

Jeremiah 6:16 –“This is what the Lord says – Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls. But you said, ‘we will not walk in it’”.

Matthew 10:22 –“All men will hate you because of me, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved.”

1 Corinthians 16:13 –“Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong.”

Ephesians 6:11 –“Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.”


  1. AMEN!!
    GOD bless prayers are with you as you stand firm in GOD's will for your life. You are an inspiration to me. I am amazed at the impact you have within the prison system. GOD is truly using you in a mighty way.
    Blessings, love, hugs, and prayers, andrea

  2. Rosel now listen to me my friend. God gave us emotions . . . mainly to protect our feelings. It is natural to get upset when you were pushed to the limit. God bless you my friend. You stand on God's promise. HE has you where HE wants you. You know what. . . the evil one knows that. So my friend, I will lift you up to Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Stand firm . . . seek HIS face and walk with HIM. I love you.
    Your sister in Christ,

  3. 1 Corinthians 16:13

    Paul charged the whole Corinthian church, including women and children, to "act like men." What could that rugged faith look like?

    Gen. David Baird (1757-1829) served in the 73rd Highlanders in India and was captured as prisoner of war in 1780. Hearing the bad news back home in Scotland, his mother did not freak out. Her comment: "God pity the chiel [young man] who's chained to our Davie!"

    In our emotionally delicate age, this is instructive!!

  4. You are where you should be, doing this work for the Lord. He loves you, and is very proud of you. I love you my friend. Keep standing securely in your faith.

  5. Knowing how close you abide in Christ every day, I'm sure your co-workers recognize the spirit you operate in. This head nurse knows you are not a slacker. I'm glad you stood up for yourself and I pray that God gives you the right words when you talk with her. He'll give you wisdom, too, in that tense place.

    Love you, precious girlfriend! I'm always proud of your testimony. Nurses rock. (my daughter is one and it's hard work.)


  6. I have spent this last year or so learning boundaries. Setting boundaries is NOT an easy thing. It sounds to me like you set 2 boundaries here:
    1. Knowing your limits and setting them at times like these was not wrong, not lazy, or slacking.
    2. Knowing and recognizing your emotions and clearly setting the boundary NOT to talk at the moment was awesome! and very wise!

    You have laid this at the feet of Jesus and now the Holy Spirit can lead and guide you as you return.

    Being a Christian/believer does not mean we can be run to the ground or taken advantage of.

    I will pray for Strength, wisdom and discernment and for you to continue to set godly boundaries :)

    blessings to you

  7. Introspective people have a tendancy to be harder on themselves than others (I should know!!) SO I totally understand why you are overthinking in this case. I know from reading yoru blog for months, that you hold yourself to a high standard. Thats OK...noble even. But when you feel you have slipped you need to give yourself the grace God never fail to bless me!

  8. Sister Andrea: I can only hope and pray that I am a useful tool of our good Lord in that place. Thank you for your prayers. I need them and I appreciate you as my friend and prayer buddy.

  9. Sister Bren: You know I value your advice and I appreciate that. Thank you for praying for me. The more, the better :)

  10. Bro.Ike: I often try to reflect every time you leave me a comment and everything you say is just awesome! Thank you for your encouragement.

  11. Sister Denise: At times that it's hard to remain standing, that's when the Lord's hands grab me and hold me up. To Him be the glory!

  12. Sister Mary: There you go, we have another common thing to share - me being a nurse, and your daughter :) When I felt overwhelmed, that was when I knew that the battle was not mine and it was the Lord's. I'll post about what happened next...but hope it will not become like a series :). Love ya.

  13. Sister Loren: Welcome back! :) Good to have you back. It's interesting that yo brought up the term "boundaries". I was thinking about that when I felt like quitting, I knew I needed to draw a line somewhere to help me prevent from getting burned out! With God's grace, I did! Thank you for your prayer, too. God bless.

  14. Sister Cynthia: I treasure your comments knowing that I'm dealing with the "girl from the glass house" and I truly appreciate the honesty. Thank you for reminding me that when I have reached the end of my limits, that's when God's grace reaches out and helps me make it through. Thank you for always visiting.

  15. Rosel,

    Too often we feel that we can't be honest with how we are feeling, especially when it appears that you are doing more than your fair share of the work load. What would Jesus do? I don't believe He would take it, but gently and calmly explain the situation and if you have any available time left in your day, you'd be more than happy to help.

    It seems like this charge nurse is looking for the glory in a job well done at the expense of others and I believe it's time for you to let her know how you feel. Pray about it and ask God for the words you need to speak. We just need to watch our attitudes and the words that come out of our mouth.

    We will be praying for God's guidance in this matter and hope that the Holy Spirit begins a work of healing in this womans life.

    Love and Hugs ~ Kat

  16. Awwww, precious one ((((Rosel))), you know I certainly understand what you are experiencing. You are human, as was stated! This frustration/anger was building up way long before 'charge nurse' gave you extra responsibilities. Under those circumstances, the way you relayed it here, you did very well! Nothing to feel guilty about what so ever. I am so pleased you call upon our Lord regardless of what you feel, which would be defeat! But, that is just what satan wants you to feel, defeated! You are not. You are a child of God that is only human!

    Blessings dear one!! Feel better and be gentle with yourself!

  17. Sister Kat: You hit it right on the spot and truly understood about that nurse wanting to get the praise [yet it was the others doing the work]. There is no problem with the team leader being recognized for a job well done. The only problem was that she made it look like she was working hard, too when the day charge nurse came to relieve her. Come over when I post about the 2nd part:) I have sooo much comfort posting about this situation, knowing that all of you, my blogging friends are always there to help me lift it up to the Lord. And I truly am grateful for all of your friendships and being great sisters to me!

  18. JBR: Ahhh...I needed those [[[]]]]. Thank you :) I think you're right about something building up even before that nurse had us do a LOT of stuff! I've been there for years and I think I was just tired of seeing how the lazy ones get away with things and those who work hard don't even get "thank you's". Not that I'm seeking recognition[I'd rather get His praise], and also not that I'm not aware of injustices to occur in this world, but I just got so overwhelmed that particular day and I knew I had to do something since no one was speaking up. It became a heavy burden but not until I surrendered it to the Lord and He took it away from me just like that. Long time ago, I felt blessed for the Lord to have me witness a spiritual battle which turned up to be a great reminder for me to know where the greatest power comes from. So, glory to God for making me aware all the time that Satan had been defeated already! Thank you for encouraging me :)

  19. Thank you for sharing that. The smart and wise thing to do was to seek the Lord for guidance, healing, and restoration before things got way too out of hand.

    God will truly bless you for acknowledging something that needed to be fix and for not being too prideful to humble yourself before Him in His presence.

    Blessings to you always!!

  20. You are a tool in the Hand of our Powerful God and your life is being used unto His glory! I'm always blessed in what you share and I'm praying that the boldness and compassion of God's Spirit continue to speak through you to all you deal with at work etc.

    Blessings and peace!

  21. Sister Toia: I am grateful that we can bring anything, I mean "anything" to His throne of grace. The Lord reminded me to commit all my ways to Him because with Him, nothing will go wrong. Thank you for your encouragement. God bless.

  22. Sister Lisa: I appreciate your encouragement as well. That's my hope and prayer, is for the Lord to use me for whatever work He wants me to do for Him. When I brought this situation to Him, He showed me how easily we could go back to our old ways when all He wanted is always healing, restoration, forgiveness, humbleness...And when we choose to follow His leading, what a relief! So to God be the glory! God bless sister!


"Faith is taking the first step even if you don't see the whole staircase..."
~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

All posts/composed songs copyright by RCUBEs.


The Attacker (5/15/09)

The sun was just peeking from the Eastern skies. Ephesians 6:12 [37 kb]

Out in the prison’s yard, some huge Sheriff’s buses were illuminated by the soft glow coming from the lights all over from the tall lamp posts. Their engines were turned on, warming up, before the buses would take the inmates to the different courts where they would have their trials.

Orange-uniformed men were lined up in pairs, joined together with handcuffs and chained, forming a long line. They already had their breakfast and had their morning medications prior to going to courts. Some were fidgeting, as they waited to board those buses.

All of a sudden, all hell broke loose! Two men were engaged in a fight, using weapons they made secretly for a while. Deputies called for help on the radio, both for custody back-up and medical staff, as well.

When the air was cleared and the other inmates were secured, one man was down on the floor. He sustained multiple gashes but two of them were deep. One cut was vertically etched from his left ear going down to the jaw line. The other dangerous cut was horizontal on his left neck, close to the jugular vein. Pool of blood dripped all over the floor. Holding his bleeding neck, he was pointing at the other inmate few feet away, being guarded by the other deputies.

The other man being accused was not hurt. There were no lacerations nor any other signs of trauma. He was obviously very agitated as he was being questioned by those deputies, while the medical staff started treating the other man on the floor. They cleaned the wounds and controlled the bleeding. That man was sent to the nearby hospital.

When the investigation was finalized, it turned out to be that the “downed man who was accusing the other inmate” was the attacker and the other one who didn’t have injury was the one attacked. The deputies found out that it was the second attempt to attack the unhurt man. Both attacks on him failed. He was well-prepared after the first attempt on him, that when the second attempt was done, he was able to defend himseld and ended up injuring his attacker severely.

[Source: Life Application Bible]:

We also have an “accuser of the brethren.” Satan and his army of demons are the enemies of God and of everything good.

“Because God’s children are human beings – made of flesh and blood – Jesus also became flesh and blood by being born in human form. For only as a human being could he die, and only by dying could he break the power of the Devil, who had the power of death.” –Hebrews 2:14

Because of what Jesus had done [dying on the cross], we, who live in constant fear of death shouldn’t be afraid anymore. Jesus had freed us from that fear so we can live for Him. When we belong to God, we know that death is only the portal that leads into “eternal life”. [“Thank You Lord!].

Paul warned us, too that we also battle against the evil forces of Satan, who is a vicious fighter. But to be able to withstand their attacks, we must depend on God’s strength and use every piece of His armor. We face an army whose goal is to defeat Christ’s church. When we believe in Christ, they become our enemies. They will try any device to turn us away from the Lord.

Fear not! For God has provided His supernatural power to defeat Satan and his army, through His Holy Spirit within us. So, arm yourselves with God’s armor.

Let us be strong in the Lord's mighty power. Let's put on His whole armor to resist the enemy's attacks: put on the sturdy belt of truth and the body armor of God's righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News, so that we are well-prepared. We will need faith in every battle as our shield to stop the fiery arrows aimed by Satan and his army. Let us put on salvation as our helmet, not forgetting the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God. Let's pray at all times, on every occasion in the power of the Holy Spirit. We must stay alert and be persistent in our prayers for all Christians everywhere. [Ephesians 6:10-18].