The Stealer

Photo Credit

“Put your hands up and lean your hands against the wall!” yelled the deputy, after gloving his hands. He was upset when one of the LVN’s called him after seeing that this particular inmate wove his right hand through the thick, glass partition window. Through different sizes of boxed gloves and tried to reach for a pen. He was still holding the pen when the LVN, sitting from where he was, suddenly looked up and caught him.

“I was just going to write something!” the inmate tried to make a plea to the taller deputy who started searching for his pockets and started checking his body orifices.

“I don’t know what else he took “profanity” …….!”yelled the charge nurse. “You are supposed to only take your blood sugar and not help yourself with things around here!” she added.

Who wouldn’t be angry with this inmate? When he knew the rules that they were not allowed to have any pens. They can be made into a potential, harmful weapon if it ends up with their hands.

Most of the nurses were yelling profanities against him. As I watched the deputy and saw him found a few graham crackers from him. They were not harmful. But the problem was his blood sugar level that morning was normal. And he wasn’t given graham crackers at all.

This inmate knew he was in deep trouble. Either he would be put on discipline where he would be housed alone for a certain amount of days or his sentence would be a little longer. Or both.

It’s easy to see ourselves justifiably angry against sins. Against someone else’s sins. But we must speak against sins in the spirit of humility. Oftentimes, the sins we see in others are the same sins that have taken place in us. How often have I witnessed a “gossiper” at work, upset and critical of others who gossip about him/her?

We deal with thousands of inmates. All there because they committed crimes. Murder. Rape. Stealing. Abuse. And many other evil things. They are living their lives devoid of God’s knowledge.

“When they refused to acknowledge God, he abandoned them to their evil minds and let them do things that should have never been done. Their lives became full of every kind of wickedness, sin, greed, hate, envy, murder, fighting, deception, malicious behavior, and gossip. They are backstabbers, haters of God, insolent, proud and boastful. They are forever inventing new ways of sinning and are disobedient to their parents. They refuse to understand, break their promises, and are heartless and unforgiving. They are fully aware of God’s death penalty for those who do these things, yet they go right ahead and do them anyway. And worse yet, they encourage others to do them, too.” - Romans 1:28-32

We can never think that in God’s silence, it’s okay to do these sins and get away with them. God is a merciful God Who is being patient and is holding back His judgment so we can turn away from our sins. As Christians, we must ask the Lord to search our hearts so that He can heal them and help us turn away from doing those things that do not please Him. I’m not perfect like you. But we must continue to learn more about Him in order for us to be victorious. To be holy like our Holy God.

Jesus is the ONLY WAY. The ONLY TRUTH. The ONLY LIFE.

Life's Purpose

I just got done dispensing the meds this Sunday morning from a huge machine that spewed thousands of pills for the inmates’ morning and noon doses. As I went back to the Clinic, I overheard a conversation between 2 of my co-workers with the Sergeant who loved talking to these two specific nurses.

“So, when are you retiring?” asked one to the Sergeant.

“In about 7 ½ months,” he replied as he sat comfortably,  slightly leaning back on the chair.

“Wow!” exclaimed the other. “What are you gonna’ do then?”

“I think if given choices, I would still work somewhere…I can’t imagine myself just doing nothing after having a good time seeing places. You know, maybe work part time. Just to give a purpose into my life,” he responded confidently.

All night, they talked about his plans to see this place or do that thing. I sat there quietly. Just helped the staff assistant who stayed overtime for 4 hours to help the Clinic with piling paper works.

The Sergeant’s word “life’s purpose” cut so deep into my mind. I started wondering if all of them there knew what life’s purpose mean. As I started to evaluate my own knowledge right then, my mind busy working. To be a nurse? To be a mom? Oh how my mind wandered to many possibilities of life’s adventures! But as I sought His leading, the imagination was not about me anymore. It headed down to knowing how God made each of us and everything here [1 John 1:3]. We surely can’t be proud of anything because everything came from Him. We all exist because God made us all. All my life’s goals and achievements I did and continue to achieve because of the talents He gave me [us] in the first place. We are made to worship and obey God. The way Jesus did. He gave His life on the cross to fulfill the Father’s will. So we may live. And as we accept Him into our hearts, a purpose was planted: that is….. To seek Him first so we can know more things of God and then… to bring others to Christ.

“And so we keep on praying for you, that our God will make you worthy of the life to which he called you. And we pray that God, by his power, will fulfill all your good intentions and faithful deeds. Then everyone will give honor to the name of our Lord Jesus because of you, and you will be honored along with him. This is all made possible because of the undeserved favor of our God and Lord, Jesus Christ.” - 2 Thessalonians 1:11-12

Struggling Here

I'm linking this post at Spiritual Sundays. Please visit this warm place hosted by sisters Ginger and Charlotte.

So, I talked about this female inmate from my previous post “Cut Off” [see prior post below] of how she complained all night long about her back pain. But she was in for committing robbery. After dealing with her at Intake on Friday night, I wasn’t surprised to see her again the following night at the Infirmary, wanting the same attention. She wanted to be given higher doses of pain medications, faking every movement as she rose from her mattress.

Don’t think of me as always being kind. Because that night, I was being mean. I made fun of her whining with my co-workers, copying her and to my co-workers delight. I knew I had enough of her excuses. But having a bad night from Intake dealing with her up to the following day was not a good excuse in the eyes of the Lord.

Many animals change their colors to adapt to their environment. It’s their way of fitting in. The Lord brought to my mind and heart about what I did [making fun of that female inmate]. That was my conviction from the Lord this week. That I should continue to work on becoming a “new nature” because I’m already His child. His light in this dark world. That I am not to conform to this world. That I represent Him in anything I say, think or do.

That I don’t need to fit in in my workplace though I’m surrounded by corruption, sins, evil spirits. I don’t need to adapt to this situation because I have His freedom. I don’t need to survive. The Lord is my life and hope and everything put together. He is not of this world.

I had visited some blogging friends this morning and they also talked about not “conforming to this world.” I knew the Lord was not done with His convictions on me as I read every precious posts.  “Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?” [Psalm 139:7]


I’m not kind! I’m not always nice! I am still struggling with every step I take to finish this race for Him.



Oh Lord, thank You by revealing these things that do not please You, that otherwise, will just go unnoticed. Thank You that Your Spirit searches out everything and exposes these ill behaviors or ways we do, that do not glorify You. Help me Oh Lord to continue to grow in Your ways. Like Jesus. Please forgive me for my sins. Purify us Lord. Help me to be transformed by You, instead of being conformed to this world.In Jesus’ Name, I pray. Amen.

“What this means is that those who become Christians become new persons. They are not the same anymore, for the old life is gone. A new life has begun!” - 2 Corinthians 5:17

Cut Off

“You’ve been mean to me ever since I got here!” screamed one female, heavy set inmate in front of the female deputy. Her torso bent midway, with her right hand supporting her weight as she leaned on the deputy’s desk.

I just gave her some Motrin for her complaint of back pain and a small cup of water.

“Don’t you dare spill that cup of water on my desk!” exclaimed the deputy. As she saw the inmate put down the plastic cup with her unstable stance.

If anyone saw this moment, they would truly believe the inmate. That this deputy had no heart. That she was a plain evil person. But it wasn’t true. I came on to start my shift that night. Unable to get report from the evening shift nurse, I got a little background from the same deputy.

I saw this inmate first on the floor, moaning and crying, not wanting to talk with the nurse or the deputy. Complaining of back pain and screaming every time the staff asked her if she could share a little bit about herself so we could attend to her needs. But she remained just that. Moaning and crying all night long. Until she was called to be processed. And the deputy called me and requested if I could give her something for pain because she found out that she had been abusing many types of narcotics. And that was what she was in for. Committing robbery perhaps, to sustain that habit.

The following night, I was not surprised to see her inside the female waiting area in the Infirmary. She was doing the same thing. Moaning and crying and pretending that she could not get up when staff was present. But some of us [including myself] had witnessed she was able to get up and go to the bathroom without any problem when she thought that no one was looking.

We are used to this kind of game. Some inmates play games, pretending that their conditions are really bad that they can’t be incarcerated. They wanted to be free. Despite the crimes they committed. They exaggerate symptoms thinking it will earn them a free pass,  an easy way out. So they think….But it doesn’t work that way. You can’t be free without acknowledging the mistakes you have done. Freedom is always available. But there is always a cut off…Only to those willing to accept responsibility for those mistakes and learn from them are able to recognize the worth of becoming free. To feel sorry and not do these same crimes, mistakes, hurt, sins…



"From that time Jesus began to preach, and to say, Repent: for the kingdom of heaven is at hand." - Matthew 4:17


"I tell you, no! But unless you repent, you too will all perish." - Luke 13:3


"Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord,..." - Acts 3:19

No repentance, no forgiveness...


No forgiveness, no salvation...