Struggling Here

I'm linking this post at Spiritual Sundays. Please visit this warm place hosted by sisters Ginger and Charlotte.

So, I talked about this female inmate from my previous post “Cut Off” [see prior post below] of how she complained all night long about her back pain. But she was in for committing robbery. After dealing with her at Intake on Friday night, I wasn’t surprised to see her again the following night at the Infirmary, wanting the same attention. She wanted to be given higher doses of pain medications, faking every movement as she rose from her mattress.

Don’t think of me as always being kind. Because that night, I was being mean. I made fun of her whining with my co-workers, copying her and to my co-workers delight. I knew I had enough of her excuses. But having a bad night from Intake dealing with her up to the following day was not a good excuse in the eyes of the Lord.

Many animals change their colors to adapt to their environment. It’s their way of fitting in. The Lord brought to my mind and heart about what I did [making fun of that female inmate]. That was my conviction from the Lord this week. That I should continue to work on becoming a “new nature” because I’m already His child. His light in this dark world. That I am not to conform to this world. That I represent Him in anything I say, think or do.

That I don’t need to fit in in my workplace though I’m surrounded by corruption, sins, evil spirits. I don’t need to adapt to this situation because I have His freedom. I don’t need to survive. The Lord is my life and hope and everything put together. He is not of this world.

I had visited some blogging friends this morning and they also talked about not “conforming to this world.” I knew the Lord was not done with His convictions on me as I read every precious posts.  “Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?” [Psalm 139:7]

I’m not kind! I’m not always nice! I am still struggling with every step I take to finish this race for Him.

Oh Lord, thank You by revealing these things that do not please You, that otherwise, will just go unnoticed. Thank You that Your Spirit searches out everything and exposes these ill behaviors or ways we do, that do not glorify You. Help me Oh Lord to continue to grow in Your ways. Like Jesus. Please forgive me for my sins. Purify us Lord. Help me to be transformed by You, instead of being conformed to this world.In Jesus’ Name, I pray. Amen.

“What this means is that those who become Christians become new persons. They are not the same anymore, for the old life is gone. A new life has begun!” - 2 Corinthians 5:17


  1. I am so with you my sister...I love you so very much and my prayers are always with you. I've been in a very BIG slump needing rejuvenation. I prayed your prayer along with you for you, for me, for all.

    My arms are wrapped around you with the biggest of hugs right now. You are a precious so very precious.


  2. WHOO HOOOOO~! Praise God for molding us daily.

    The reason I love this post so much is because you're keeping it so real. Sometimes we make mistakes and in God's timing he shows us little things to put at his feet.

    Thanks for reminding me I'm not the only one who gets a 'tweek' from the Lord as we try to be IN this world but not OF this world.

  3. Thank you for such an open and honest post. Praise God for the Refiner's fire. We need all it so mcuh.

  4. Amen. We are truly set apart for the greater work ahead. He is with us until the end.
    May His comfort and strength be with you now.

    A wonderful post dear friend.
    God bless.

  5. Thank you for sharing with us how the Lord is leading you. It is an inspiration to many. I really like the song in the video.

  6. Praying for you while on your job. I know it must be a struggle while you are there.

  7. Thank you for your honesty. We all deal with this sis. I love you, and I am praying for you.

  8. This is something I need to regularly remind myself.I do not belong to the world. I belong to God.

  9. Thank you for your honesty, Rosel. None of us is perfect but we are being changed from day to day and from glory to glory. Our goal is to be like Him. Have a wonderful weekend.


  10. Thank you for this open, honest post. I am so thankful that the good work God has began in us He will complete....

    Linda J

  11. me too Rosel....I'm not always kind...I'm not always nice..and I sooooo appreciate your honesty. Thank God for His grace and mercy. Have a great really are the best!!!! ☺

  12. Really good posts on an important subject.
    I know exactly how you feel, that just confirms why you and all of us need a Savior.
    I've been there….I go to Jesus many times using the same basic words of Paul....
    The things I don't want to do I do and the things I do want to do I don't do.
    Sweet Blessings,

  13. This side of heaven we'll always have our struggles with the world, the flesh and the devil.

    Any Christian that says he/she doesn't have a daily battle in these areas is self deceived or has never joined God's army.

    The only way to get the victory is to put on the full armor of God every morning.
    Ephesians 6:10-18

  14. What's so beautiful about you is that you do struggle. The feelings and inclinations are natural, but you choose to seek after God instead (even if every super great once in a while you slip up and give in). You've been such an inspiration to me sister.

    I'm so grateful that God does work in our lives, just as we're promised in Philippians 1:6 (NLT):
    And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.

  15. You are in an evil environment of death that needs every ounce of willpower not to be sucked in and blinded by the evil spiritual forces operating around you.

    That is why I so appreciate what you do, even though it is difficult, you allow the word and Spirit of God to expose ways you may have been defiled, and contaminated.

    And when you confess where you have gone wrong, that is your way of being cleansed and renewed.

    I pray for you dear Rosel that you will always be aware of God's hedge of protection around you in that dark workplace where you shine as a bright light.

    May you be encouraged as you move up higher in your destiny.

    You are such a blessing to me and to the rest of the bloggers who come by to read your heart!


  16. I always think it good when we are aware of the things we need to change. Thank-you for this honest post today.
    God Bless,

  17. The word of God seems to pour into my heart when I read your post sister. Not sadness, but rejoicing, because you see with spiritual eyes, and are growing and maturing in the arms of Jesus. These holy words are not meant for you alone, but for us all who are beng molded daily into the likeness of our Lord Jesus. Blessings to you Rosel; beloved daughter of God!

    John 15:1-2 “I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit."

    Hebrews 12:7-9 "If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons and daughters; for what child is there whom a father does not chasten? But if you are without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons & daughters. Furthermore, we have had human fathers who corrected us, and we paid them respect. Shall we not much more readily be in subjection to the Father of spirits and live?"

    Revelation 3:18-19 "I counsel you to buy from Me gold refined in the fire, that you may be rich; and white garments, that you may be clothed, that the shame of your nakedness may not be revealed; and anoint your eyes with eye salve, that you may see. As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten. Therefore be zealous and repent.

  18. Thank you everyone for coming here always and encouraging me with your sweet thoughts and comments. Thank you bro. Brian for His Word [Scripture] you shared with me. It strengthens me the more that I am not alone in this long and difficult journey we're in. But the best is that He is there always, walking with us.

    To God be the glory forever and ever. God bless you all the more and may we continue to draw nearer to Him. We all stumble but He is always there ready to catch us when we do fall.

  19. It is freeing when the Holy Spirit spanks us. Something would be terribly wrong if we fudged our way through life. Blogging is good for this; I've been corrected before and feel the love as you wrote. I can see I'm in good company.

    Much love and hugs,

  20. ((((Rosel)))) Here listening. Understanding as I suffer from a very critical and judgmental spirit.

  21. Rosel,
    I, too, have felt God's conviction after doing something that I should have done or saying something mean to someone. Thank you for your message today - it means so much as I try very hard to walk in the way I should.


  22. I understand where you are coming from! I work for a surgeon and the number of people wanting pain meds to feed their habit is appalling to me! I think we can only pray. Let our Creator change their heart. Blessings Anne

  23. I caught myself not being too nice at the AT&T store the other night. I get irritated at the service there, those machines, charging to make a payment, etc. My battery was dead, and I thought they had turned off my phone. Lord help me not to take it out on the salespeople there. All the pressures of this world can make us cross for sure. I loved the song. Blessings ~


"Faith is taking the first step even if you don't see the whole staircase..."
~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

All posts/composed songs copyright by RCUBEs.


The Attacker (5/15/09)

The sun was just peeking from the Eastern skies. Ephesians 6:12 [37 kb]

Out in the prison’s yard, some huge Sheriff’s buses were illuminated by the soft glow coming from the lights all over from the tall lamp posts. Their engines were turned on, warming up, before the buses would take the inmates to the different courts where they would have their trials.

Orange-uniformed men were lined up in pairs, joined together with handcuffs and chained, forming a long line. They already had their breakfast and had their morning medications prior to going to courts. Some were fidgeting, as they waited to board those buses.

All of a sudden, all hell broke loose! Two men were engaged in a fight, using weapons they made secretly for a while. Deputies called for help on the radio, both for custody back-up and medical staff, as well.

When the air was cleared and the other inmates were secured, one man was down on the floor. He sustained multiple gashes but two of them were deep. One cut was vertically etched from his left ear going down to the jaw line. The other dangerous cut was horizontal on his left neck, close to the jugular vein. Pool of blood dripped all over the floor. Holding his bleeding neck, he was pointing at the other inmate few feet away, being guarded by the other deputies.

The other man being accused was not hurt. There were no lacerations nor any other signs of trauma. He was obviously very agitated as he was being questioned by those deputies, while the medical staff started treating the other man on the floor. They cleaned the wounds and controlled the bleeding. That man was sent to the nearby hospital.

When the investigation was finalized, it turned out to be that the “downed man who was accusing the other inmate” was the attacker and the other one who didn’t have injury was the one attacked. The deputies found out that it was the second attempt to attack the unhurt man. Both attacks on him failed. He was well-prepared after the first attempt on him, that when the second attempt was done, he was able to defend himself and ended up injuring his attacker severely.

[Source: NLT Bible ]:

We also have an “accuser of the brethren.” Satan and his army of demons are the enemies of God and of everything good.

“Because God’s children are human beings – made of flesh and blood – Jesus also became flesh and blood by being born in human form. For only as a human being could he die, and only by dying could he break the power of the Devil, who had the power of death.” –Hebrews 2:14

Because of what Jesus had done [dying on the cross], we, who live in constant fear of death shouldn’t be afraid anymore. Jesus had freed us from that fear so we can live for Him. When we belong to God, we know that death is only the portal that leads into “eternal life”. [“Thank You Lord!].

Paul warned us, too that we also battle against the evil forces of Satan, who is a vicious fighter. But to be able to withstand their attacks, we must depend on God’s strength and use every piece of His armor. We face an army whose goal is to defeat Christ’s church. When we believe in Christ, they become our enemies. They will try any device to turn us away from the Lord.

Fear not! For God has provided His supernatural power to defeat Satan and his army, through His Holy Spirit within us. So, arm yourselves with God’s armor.

Let us be strong in the Lord's mighty power. Let's put on His whole armor to resist the enemy's attacks: put on the sturdy belt of truth and the body armor of God's righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News, so that we are well-prepared. We will need faith in every battle as our shield to stop the fiery arrows aimed by Satan and his army. Let us put on salvation as our helmet, not forgetting the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God. Let's pray at all times, on every occasion in the power of the Holy Spirit. We must stay alert and be persistent in our prayers for all Christians everywhere. [Ephesians 6:10-18].