Cut Off

“You’ve been mean to me ever since I got here!” screamed one female, heavy set inmate in front of the female deputy. Her torso bent midway, with her right hand supporting her weight as she leaned on the deputy’s desk.

I just gave her some Motrin for her complaint of back pain and a small cup of water.

“Don’t you dare spill that cup of water on my desk!” exclaimed the deputy. As she saw the inmate put down the plastic cup with her unstable stance.

If anyone saw this moment, they would truly believe the inmate. That this deputy had no heart. That she was a plain evil person. But it wasn’t true. I came on to start my shift that night. Unable to get report from the evening shift nurse, I got a little background from the same deputy.

I saw this inmate first on the floor, moaning and crying, not wanting to talk with the nurse or the deputy. Complaining of back pain and screaming every time the staff asked her if she could share a little bit about herself so we could attend to her needs. But she remained just that. Moaning and crying all night long. Until she was called to be processed. And the deputy called me and requested if I could give her something for pain because she found out that she had been abusing many types of narcotics. And that was what she was in for. Committing robbery perhaps, to sustain that habit.

The following night, I was not surprised to see her inside the female waiting area in the Infirmary. She was doing the same thing. Moaning and crying and pretending that she could not get up when staff was present. But some of us [including myself] had witnessed she was able to get up and go to the bathroom without any problem when she thought that no one was looking.

We are used to this kind of game. Some inmates play games, pretending that their conditions are really bad that they can’t be incarcerated. They wanted to be free. Despite the crimes they committed. They exaggerate symptoms thinking it will earn them a free pass,  an easy way out. So they think….But it doesn’t work that way. You can’t be free without acknowledging the mistakes you have done. Freedom is always available. But there is always a cut off…Only to those willing to accept responsibility for those mistakes and learn from them are able to recognize the worth of becoming free. To feel sorry and not do these same crimes, mistakes, hurt, sins…

"From that time Jesus began to preach, and to say, Repent: for the kingdom of heaven is at hand." - Matthew 4:17

"I tell you, no! But unless you repent, you too will all perish." - Luke 13:3

"Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord,..." - Acts 3:19

No repentance, no forgiveness...

No forgiveness, no salvation...


  1. I feel so left out - I didn't understand how Jesus could love me like He did Peter, James and John. I didn't understand. Surely, Mother Teresa was in the top of His favorites - well, because they were the best. Right? I cannot explain the feeling inside when I discovered that He does love me, just like he does Peter, James, John - and Mother Teresa. He includes all of us at His table - He doesn't send us like second-tiered guests to the table in the kitchen on feast days.
    Yes, there's the man with the 5 talons, then the 2/3 talons and then the 1 - but He is just as proud of the man with the 5 talons as He is with the man with the 2/3 talons. I might not be Mother Teresa - but God would seat me or you beside her at the feasting table - because he does not rank His children - He has a heart that loves equally.

    Amen to repentence. Accountability of actions! Manning up to what you've done. There's not enough discussion about that - I guess because everyone wants everything to be "all right" - which is all wrong!

    I love visiting with you and reading your posts! I'd love a book to give to my son on your posts!!! Hint! Hint! Hint! (meaning publish this please - I need it for a stocking stuffer!)

  2. God accepts us when we come to HIM in repentance. Sadly, many are never willing to accept their own responsibility for their situation. Great post, my friend.

    Praying you have a blessed weekend.

  3. Yes, your style of writing is a blessing. I can learn from you..Amen! cottonbluememory..He has room for all of us. There is an excellent book 70x7..written by Monty Christensen. He has experience in prison and ran from God for years. He and his wife have a ministry called Prison Impact. In fact I just discovered they have a blog as well. His book is one you want to get into the hands of every inmate.. (:

  4. It surprises me to no end how many people believe that very thing! Just be a "good person" and how many Fathers lead there children down that very path? So many don't understand the importance of a Father ~ we relate to Father God in the same manner as we do our earthly father alot of times.
    So sad seeing this video and knowing it happens all.the.time!

    Great message as usual my dear friend! Love to you and praying for you this weekend

  5. Thank God He not only calls us to repent, but He draws His Sheep to Him as the Good Shepherd.

  6. playing games to get what you want..sometimes even my kids do that but no matter what they do...I love them and would gladly give them the moon. Human nature....God's mercy and grace. I'm so grateful He sees beyond our game playing ways...thanks Rosel for this...and for just being you...

  7. Thank you for the video. I am SO THANKFUL that my parents had the answer when I asked that question. Jesus takes my stained life and gives me His clean record.

  8. Hello Sister Rosel, I hope you and your family are doing well.

    Great video! God does not grade on the curve. The only ones that get into heaven are sinners saved by grace and covered with the blood of The Lamb. It's so sad that many think they will make it into heaven because they lived a good life.

    God bless you, ~ Ron

  9. ANother great post about a deep truth expressed in simple terms.

    Thank God for your gift - depth of understanding and ability to translate in practical everyday language.

    The video gave a very clear message.

    Thanks for this post.


  10. I love the way you use these real life examples to illustrate and drive home Biblical truths, Rosel. And I was thinking of this last night, how so many today chose to justify their behaviour rather than come before God and repent, be forgiveness, and made into new creations.
    God bless


"Faith is taking the first step even if you don't see the whole staircase..."
~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

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