Cut Off

“You’ve been mean to me ever since I got here!” screamed one female, heavy set inmate in front of the female deputy. Her torso bent midway, with her right hand supporting her weight as she leaned on the deputy’s desk.

I just gave her some Motrin for her complaint of back pain and a small cup of water.

“Don’t you dare spill that cup of water on my desk!” exclaimed the deputy. As she saw the inmate put down the plastic cup with her unstable stance.

If anyone saw this moment, they would truly believe the inmate. That this deputy had no heart. That she was a plain evil person. But it wasn’t true. I came on to start my shift that night. Unable to get report from the evening shift nurse, I got a little background from the same deputy.

I saw this inmate first on the floor, moaning and crying, not wanting to talk with the nurse or the deputy. Complaining of back pain and screaming every time the staff asked her if she could share a little bit about herself so we could attend to her needs. But she remained just that. Moaning and crying all night long. Until she was called to be processed. And the deputy called me and requested if I could give her something for pain because she found out that she had been abusing many types of narcotics. And that was what she was in for. Committing robbery perhaps, to sustain that habit.

The following night, I was not surprised to see her inside the female waiting area in the Infirmary. She was doing the same thing. Moaning and crying and pretending that she could not get up when staff was present. But some of us [including myself] had witnessed she was able to get up and go to the bathroom without any problem when she thought that no one was looking.

We are used to this kind of game. Some inmates play games, pretending that their conditions are really bad that they can’t be incarcerated. They wanted to be free. Despite the crimes they committed. They exaggerate symptoms thinking it will earn them a free pass,  an easy way out. So they think….But it doesn’t work that way. You can’t be free without acknowledging the mistakes you have done. Freedom is always available. But there is always a cut off…Only to those willing to accept responsibility for those mistakes and learn from them are able to recognize the worth of becoming free. To feel sorry and not do these same crimes, mistakes, hurt, sins…



"From that time Jesus began to preach, and to say, Repent: for the kingdom of heaven is at hand." - Matthew 4:17


"I tell you, no! But unless you repent, you too will all perish." - Luke 13:3


"Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord,..." - Acts 3:19

No repentance, no forgiveness...


No forgiveness, no salvation...

Prayer For The City

I remember hearing this song when my oldest brother from Denmark shared this song with me and aside from the beautiful melody, I fell in love with the lyrics which is so vital for us to do. I just want to share this song with you all and may you remember to "incessantly pray."

My brother gave me this special gift, a limited edition from the Oslo Gospel Choir and I love to listen to this anytime of the day. Thank You Lord.

This is the best version I found in you tube:


Prayer For The City


C                       G
We open our hearts
Am                                   F
And our lives to You O God
Dm                         C          Am
Create within us a servant part
              F                             G
So that we can show Your love


C                                      G
Where all hope has been lost
Am                                   F
Let Your Spirit bring new life
 Dm                               C Am
To those in need bring prosperity
                              F                          G
Where there's darkness shine Your light

 F       G              Em             Am
We pray for the city we live in
 F       G                 C              Am
We pray that our sins be forgiven
 F              G               Am          F
Do Your will right here as in heaven
 C                 F          G        C
Father, we call on Your Name

           F                    C
We pray for our children
           F                     C
We pray for our leaders
            F                   C
We pray for our families
          Am          D           G
Oh, bless us Lord we pray

Addendum: Sorry, I was going to post the guitar chords but I couldn't find the copy I had [for you JBR and others out there who knows how to play the guitar. I'll come back if I find it]     :)

@ 0935 hrs: After searching desperately, I found the chords!  God showed it to me! Yay! Thank You Lord. I added it, simple but truly a beautiful song. I hope you all like it.

I Am A Coward

I printed out a new copy of upcoming schedule. Only to have a little worry set in as I saw that I would be working at the prison’s Intake at least every other Friday, starting August.

Now, I’m that kind of a worker who is flexible. I don’t mind going there or anywhere else in the jail, even float to other facilities. But it’s just that it’s the busiest place inside the prison and that, as an Intake Nurse, you’re just by yourself. While if assigned at the Infirmary, at least, there are always a few nurses. Not that they are not going to help but still, it’s only the Intake Nurse’s sole responsibility to oversee the male and female side. Aside from screening all the arrestees who come in fresh from the streets, the Intake Nurse has the responsibility to check all those who are in Suicide Watch and all those drunk bodies, in many sobering cells. Fights are possible when many bodies end up in one cell, as their minds or consciousness are altered with the effects of many illegal substances and alcohol. Paired with that are many telephone calls from many local cities’ police department who wants the Intake Nurse’s “go signal” whether their arrestees can stay in the local jails or need to be transported to our main jail, since we have the nurses there, 24/7. The jail doctor comes every morning ‘til evening daily.

When the Lord took me out of my comfort zone many years ago [Orthopedic in a prominent hospital], and brought me here and gave me many unknown challenges, it was still His provision that made me survive the evilness in this place. Working as a correctional nurse goes beyond the physical symptoms. The spiritual battle here is real. Many unseen spirits tormenting those preys that otherwise, have no knowledge of this battle in the spiritual realm. I am grateful that the Lord had prepared me way earlier before putting me in this assignment.

You would think that I am comfortable now that I had been there for 10 years. But each night, there is always a new challenge. So, sometimes, I feel like I’m more like Jonah more than Isaiah. So, as you are here now, reading this, may I ask a favor to include me in your prayers for the Lord’s guidance, protection, wisdom, discernment and strength as I perform this upcoming task at Intake?







Lord, I am a coward when it comes to not knowing what is about to happen. I don’t want to take Your leading for granted, knowing that You are bringing me to a more challenging task. But doing so, I am grateful that You chose me. Then I know that You can trust me better as I perform these bigger duties. I want to make that commitment to You Oh Lord, to be Your instrument in everything that I say and do. Empower me Oh Lord with Your strength and might and fill me with the Holy Spirit. Whenever You ask “Whom should I send as a messenger to My people? Who will go for us?”, help me Lord to be confident and courageous and be bold like Isaiah and reply to You: “Lord, I’ll go! Send me…” [Isaiah 6:8]…Please forgive me for all my sins, and cleanse me. Yes, Lord, I am a coward and inadequate…that is on my own…But with You, it is a different story. Thank You for Your grace. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

"But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect. No, I worked harder than all of them--yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me." - 1 Cor.15:10

The Blood

Photo Credit
Despite the busyness last Friday night at Intake, I would always try to make time to check the mentally ill inmate locked up in safety cell 1. His cell was visible from the nurse’s door. Only a few steps away. Prior to starting my shift, I saw his naked body lying on the cold floor. I heard he had been there for 2 weeks. The psych doctor hasn’t moved him back into the unit that housed the mentally ill patients. He kept banging his head the other day until he sustained a gash on his forehead. He sustained a big wound also on his left, upper arm. Because of his potential severe threat to his own safety, he became a regular resident of that cold cell.

My neck was getting tired at around 5 o’clock in the morning. I got up and decided to check again on Mr. V. I was barely nearing his cell, when I saw blood being smeared with his index finger from the top of the small glass window, going downward. The only window we used to check up on him.

“Deputy!” I yelled, as I saw the Intake deputies busy processing the arrestees, getting their booking photos and fingerprints.

“Please come and I need to see Mr. V. now. He just smeared some blood on his window.”

One deputy quickly came and turned up the light inside the cell brighter.

“Come closer V!” he yelled.

I wanted to make sure that he was not actively bleeding anywhere. I looked at his old gash on his forehead. It was intact. I couldn’t find any other visible wounds.

“Raise your left arm higher!” I commanded. To which he followed. The wound was more red. And appeared slightly raw. From visible marks of picking and scratching with his nails. But it was not actively bleeding. He managed to pick on it one time and get enough blood to smear his cell’s window.

I tried to communicate that it was not a good thing for him to do. If he wanted to get out of that cell. I wasn’t sure how much of my words would penetrate his understanding. But somehow he did. He remained quiet and didn’t do this behavior again.

I noticed how the deputies were not interested anymore and not even concerned when I called to their attention. I think they had grown tired because he had been doing this behavior for a while. Not that they didn’t care. But being the busiest night that day, they were non-stop processing the many bodies that were brought in from the streets.

His smearing of the blood might not be noticed anymore. But the smearing of blood thousands of years ago was significant back in Moses’ time. In preparation for the Israelites’ exit from Egypt, God brought down plagues on the Egyptians, the 10th plague being the killing of every firstborn males of the Egyptians. But the Hebrews were instructed to mark their doorposts with the blood of a spring lamb. Upon seeing this, the Spirit of the Lord passed over these homes, sparing the lives of the firstborns of the Israelites, His people. It was known as “Passover” in Jewish holidays.

It is the story of redemption. That’s how God chose to buy us back or save us from our sins. He offered His only Son in exchange for us. The life of a young lamb was sacrificed to save the sinner’s life. When Jesus came, he substituted his perfect life for our sinful ways! He is our Redeemer! He is The Lamb!

Jesus blood was smeared on the cross. And if you recognize the deadly consequences of sins and want to be saved from them, all you need to do is trust and accept Jesus’ gift of eternal life. He already paid for our sins. Even if you are busy with the mundane things of life, you have to make time and take notice. Jesus’ sacrifice made animal sacrifice no longer necessary… He redeemed us all by His death on the cross!!! Glory be to God!

“Remove this wicked person from among you so that you can stay pure. Christ, our Passover Lamb, has been sacrificed for us. So let us celebrate the festival, not by eating the old bread of wickedness and evil, but by eating the new bread of purity and truth.” ~ 1 Corinthians 5:7-8