Leave [If You Can...]

It felt like a massive storm had hit our household since my son got sick this past, whole week. I am not complaining as I am aware that there are many others who are also facing trials in different degrees. I could feel my exhaustion now, but still, can not fully rest as I attend to my son's needs, who hasn't fully gotten his strength back. Not 100% yet but at least, by the grace of God, he hasn't been having those awful headaches now. He is able to eat more and drink more fluids. The doctor told him that it would take a few days before he could fully recover and it was expected that he would be tired for a few more days.

So, at least, my husband, my son and I are able to breathe a little better since yesterday...

Since sometimes we can't do anything to change whatever circumstances we are all facing, I just find comfort that knowing the Lord's promises, those are the ones we can cling to, that saves us from sinking more from this deluge of worries, anxieties, even sadness, doubts, depression, fears and other ill feelings or emotions that we know are not His will for His children. Sometimes, I wish it's easier to just leave away from all these troubles. But unfortunately, it's not...

Same thing with the Lord's love. As we walk with Him, sometimes, we think we are better without Him. But we are wrong to think that way. The more helpless we become when we become astray. You can try to leave...that is if you can...Because it's not your hold on God that saves you...But His hold on you...

For this Spiritual Sunday, I would love to remind you that this is His will for His children:

16Be joyful always; 17pray continually; 18give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. -1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 [NIV]

It doesn't matter how far you've gone away from the Lord. He is always there, waiting for you to return to Him, to leave all your cares to Him. There is nothing you can do that will make Him love you more or even less.

19We, though, are going to love—love and be loved. First we were loved, now we love. He loved us first. ~ 1 John 4:19 [The Message]




For more encouraging posts, please visit Spiritual Sundays. God bless you all.

Have Faith and Believe

25During the fourth watch of the night Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. 26When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. "It's a ghost," they said, and cried out in fear. 27But Jesus immediately said to them: "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid." 28"Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water." 29"Come," he said.

Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!" 31Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?" [Matthew 14:25-31; NIV].

My son had a follow-up appointment with his primary doctor yesterday. The headaches continued. He was so good about the way the doctor made him perform different neurological tests, despite the pain and dizziness. He passed them all…

His doctor got concerned with what was causing his headaches so he wanted us to go back to ER to have a lumbar puncture done. This is where they insert a huge needle to the back to get some sample of the CSF [cerebro-spinal fluid] to determine if he had any bacterial meningitis.

His headache throbbed more, with the intensity going up after his doctor’s visit. My husband and I took him home first to rest a little bit. When he was still not ready, off we went to our 2nd trip to ER.

As a nurse, since my son was little, if there was any procedure to be done, I always was honest to tell him if it would hurt or not, so that he was aware of what was going to happen. I had learned that it made him more prepared and less anxious. I told him I would ask the doctor there to give him an IV fluid because he hasn’t eaten nor drunk much fluids yesterday. That the lumbar puncture would feel like a pinch on his back when they put a numbing medicine, before they would insert a needle. [Except I didn’t tell him how long the needle was at that time!]. And I reminded him: “Pray…Lift about your fears, your concerns to our Lord. As daddy and I would do that with you…”

He was calm. He patiently waited because he now knew it would take forever to be called. But he sat there, rubbing the top of his head…No words…Soft cries at times…No whine. No complaint.

Finally, he was called and he was given immediately something for pain. It helped just a little but he got more calm. When the nurse put him in a recumbent position, he was aware that they were about to do the lumbar puncture at that time. I saw my son’s lips moving up and down. He was praying.

“Lord, please guide the doctor’s hands. Let there be no complications after this procedure Lord. May the tests be okay and even if they are not, may they find the right intervention to help my son’s condition.”

Have faith and believe…

The lumbar puncture was done in less than 5 minutes. My son didn’t even feel anything he said. I heard him utter, “Thank You, Lord.” They wheeled him back to his bed to rest and wait for the results of his blood draw, chest x-ray and the nasal swab. Tired as he was from having all these procedures and doctors’ visits all day, he softly uttered, “I love you Mom. I love you Dad”…

After a long time of waiting, the whole time while he was still having a mild headache and nauseous [perhaps from the IV pain meds that they gave], everything came back negative for any bacterial infection. The doctor said that it was more viral but he would just suspect a mild case of meningitis [though he was only assuming as all my son’s vital signs were stable and all the other test results were normal], because of his headaches. That there was no treatment but rest and fluids and that it would go away on its own after several days.

My husband and I had our own diagnosis: MIRACLE!

Have faith and believe…
　
My son crashed to his bed as soon as we got home. As I watched him all night long, that was the longest sleep he ever had.

“Thank You Lord for all of Your blessings. For constantly reminding me that this will come to pass. For reminding me that You are holding our hands as we cross the deepest, wild rivers or if we walk on fires. Lord, thank You for Your love and grace.”

Have faith and believe…

When my son woke up this morning, there was no more headaches. He was able to eat breakfast and had some hot tea. He washed up. He’s not 100% strong but I’m so glad to see his smiles again, get his hugs and his soft kisses as he whispers “I love you and thank you to me and my husband”…

We’re about to go to his primary doctor again in an hour but I wanted to take this quick opportunity to thank all of you who have walked with us in this part of our life’s journey. Who immediately held us up through prayers, who kept us feeling warm with your sincere love.

Thank You is not even enough to express our gratitude. I pray the Lord will bless all of you richly and may He grant your hearts’ desires. This is what friendship in Him means - it is to edify each other. And through this special friendship we all share, let the unity that comes from His love binds us all.

Have faith and believe…

Beyond This Noise

This week had been rough for my son. Since started getting sick on Saturday, he was still feeling some mild headaches and a little bit of dizziness...Him getting sick this way was not a new thing for him, having allergy symptoms here and there. But his headaches seemed to be more intolerable yesterday and was he good about trying to be calm about it.

When the over the counter pain medication did not help, his headaches got worse at bedtime last night. When you're a mom seeing the suffering of your child, you just want to help out in any way you can...I dressed him up, woke my hubby up and found ourselves on the road that would take us to the nearest ER.

Trying to overcome my weariness and some sleepless nights caring for him, my hubby was so good, too about it all, helping in any way he could. We uttered a prayer before leaving the house, despite my son's soft cries of pain.

I was not going to write about this. But as I heard the song "Word of God Speaks" today from the radio station I listened to, I felt the Lord telling me, to tell about this incident. You see, that moment, I realized blogging was about what God always does in our lives as we live it daily. Whether we are facing a calm or stormy weather, this is how we realize God's goodness in everything that we do.

The door in ER was non-stop, opening, closing. Many ill people walking in, interrupted by those ambulances unloading their own sick ones they had attended to. The noise was overwhelming. As my son tried to sit still and patiently waited for his turn to be called and be treated.

"I'm finding myself in the midst of You
Beyond the music, beyond the noise
All that I need is to be with You
And in the quiet hear Your voice"

"Mom! I can't stand it anymore! He softly cried."

"I know. Be patient. Remember we can lift up everything in prayers. How about we pray for their hurried service so that they can call you and be seen now?"

He started throwing up. As my heart was hurting and that of my husband's too. Then, some relief came and he became calm. As soon as we prayed for them to call my son, a man dressed up in scrubs walked into the door and was asking for my son's name. But I knew it wasn't over yet. The waiting would continue inside...

"God...Just be with us...Be with our son...I am at a loss for words right now Lord. But I know You know what we are feeling. What we are going through. I know Your wonderful promises and I know that You will be there for us, no matter what happens. I am placing my trust in You O Lord..."

"I'm finding myself at a loss for words
And the funny thing is it's okay
The last thing I need is to be heard
But to hear what You would say"

To make the story short, the doctor saw my son and didn't think it was anything serious. He ordered a CT scan and it was normal. The whole time, we were praying in between. Because we all knew, it was not in our hands...It was in His...

And we all go through these different journeys, of trying to weather the severest storms in our lives. We blog about our lives. We blog to ask for prayers...We make friendships...And through it all, we know that God is working in us, for us and through us. He is reminding us that His hand is always stretched out, reaching for us, no matter where we are, no matter how deep we have fallen...All we need to do...is to reach up to Him and never let go...Amidst the busyness, the confusion, the noises in this world, be still and know that He is with us...

"Word of God speak
Would You pour down like rain
Washing my eyes to see
Your majesty
To be still and know
That You're in this place
Please let me stay and rest
In Your holiness
Word of God speak"

Isaiah 55:11 - "...so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it" [NIV]

Backsliders

She walked into the Female side of the clinic’s waiting area. Rubbing her lower abdomen, her face slightly grimacing. It was only 2:00 a.m.


“What’s wrong?” I asked her as she was giving me her yellow pass from her unit.


“My right side is hurting. I know it’s this way when I have bladder infection,” she answered as her eyes got a little teary.


Testing her for urinalysis from a little sample of urine she managed to give me, everything was normal, except for the strong odor and a dark hue.


“This tells me that you’re not drinking enough water,” I told her.


“You’re right. I think I only had 3 small cups since I got here 3 days ago,” she continued rubbing her right side now.


Motioning her to go into one of the exam rooms, I asked her to lay down on the exam table as I assisted her. During my evaluation, I discovered that this was her 6th pregnancy. She had 3 alive kids, 1 miscarriage and 1 history of abortion.


“I’m just concerned about my baby. I want to make sure it is okay,” she requested.


“Don’t worry. This is what I’m doing now. We’re going to listen to the fetal heartbeat,” as I warned her that I was about to apply some cold gel on her tummy and started scanning her abdomen with this special instrument that would detect the baby’s heartbeat.


After a few strokes, the faint heartbeats slowly became more audible…Loud…Louder…Louder…and the rate was within normal limits.


I saw her breathe a sigh of relief. But she didn’t know, I was aware of her original charges. She was jailed for hurting a child [not sure if it was her own] to the point of almost killing that child…I got confused…She harmed a child, yet there she was, crying in front of me, begging to make sure that the baby growing inside her womb was okay…


“Ma’am…I’ll have our doctor see you as soon as she gets here in the morning. In the meantime, if you can try to drink at least 8 cups or more water, that would really be great, not only for you, but for your baby, too.”


Small steps slowly left the same Female side door she walked into. She was not crying anymore and verbalized feeling a little better. But deep inside me, I would still be wondering how much she loved that baby…


My mind prayed that her love for her unborn baby would be strong. That she would not hurt this pregnancy. That she would be willing to care and love, not only for her unborn child but with the other children, unconditionally. That she would be the best mom she could ever be….


I could only wonder….and pray…




I could only wonder…and pray….for all of us, born-again Christians, who came to know the Lord’s love and grace. We are all on fire to love Him with all of our hearts…But have we turned our back away from Him? Have we turned away from our First love?


Are we crying because we are so in love with Him, or are we crying because there is no more joy as we have gone back to those same sins that grieve His Spirit?


Are we having pain because we are undergoing spiritual decay as we neglect to drink the Living Water?

Are we like that “pregnant inmate” who just hurt a child intentionally yet, she wanted to make sure that her unborn baby was okay? Are we verbally identifying ourselves with the Lord although we are “backsliding?” Our actions don’t show that we love Him with all of our hearts, all of our minds, all of our strength…


We can have all the right doctrines and appear honorable to men, yet, our minds and hearts are filled with lust, envy, jealousy, bitterness….etc…


I am a backslider, too. For though I chose this road “off the beaten trek”, I have the tendency sometimes to make wrong turns and not focus on what lies up ahead. I lose my enthusiasm at times to follow the One Who leads my way. This road is very long and narrow. I get bored. That’s when I notice some of the fun stuff if I make either a right or left turn on those wide, open roads. But they don’t serve me any good. The Lord warned us that we can’t serve 2 masters; either we will hate one and love the other or we will be devoted to one and despise the other.


Yes, this journey requires me to make lots of choices daily. My decisions may either draw me nearer to Him or cause me to fall away. And somewhere on different parts of this road, we have enemies lurking, waiting for any opportunity to make me ineffective for God’s Kingdom.


Let’s all make those steps…to RETURN and not go father away from the Lord…


Psalm 51:10-11 - “Create pure thoughts in me and make me faithful again. Don’t chase me away from You or take Your Holy Spirit away from me.” [Contemporary English Version]