Hanging On To The End Of The Rope

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I feel that my body is not the same anymore. The numerous tasks I used to do in one day, now takes a lot of days, one thing at a time. I mowed the lawn last Wednesday and the back part of my upper rib [close to my shoulder] got achy. Thinking I just got tired from holding the edger, the achy sensation would just go away. But it still comes on and off. My husband knows I’m stubborn when it comes to doing this chore. I enjoy it despite the neck injury I had few years ago.

If this achy feeling on my neck and shoulders don’t go away, I might just have to see my doctor. Don’t you know that nurses are the “worst kind” of patients, diagnosing self and coming up with horrendous medical conditions? If arthritis is setting in, this wouldn’t be fun. I visited my friend last night and went home with medicated patches on my elbows and right shoulder, used for arthritic kind of pain or for sprains/strains. I was glad my hubby and child were sleeping when I got home or else they would have smelled my new perfume that had the aroma of “pain relieving cream.”

So, if you don’t mind me asking you, friends/spiritual warriors to pray for me and for the Lord to heal this ailment. Working nights for 20 years, I know it will take a toll sometime on me. But I always enjoy the night shift. I was just meant to be a night owl.

I’m just asking the Lord to give me more time to be able to raise up my child until he’s steady on his own. I know that in this life’s journey, sufferings seem to be more abundant. But we are not to be afraid. When God adopted us into His family, He gives us what He gave to Christ. “But if we are to share his glory, we must also share his suffering.” - Romans 8:17

If we are facing any trials, no matter how hopeless they may seem, feeling like we’re dangling at the end of the rope sometimes, let us remember that even if we are tired and feeling like we’re going to fall from hanging on or even feel like just letting go of the knot, we are not to lose hope. God promised to be there always and He will be there to catch us when we fall.

Suffering from sickness? Give it to God. From financial troubles? Hand it over to Him. Other worries? He’s waiting for you to give it to Him. Because all of them are already paid for by Jesus! Done! Over!

“But if we look forward to something we don’t have yet, we must wait patiently and confidently.” - Romans 8:25


“And the Holy Spirit helps us in our distress. For we don’t even know what we should pray for, nor how we should pray. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will. And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” - Romans 8:26-28

Active In God's Work

“But I need my inhaler now, Ma’am or else I wouldn’t be able to breathe,” complained a middle-aged male inmate in front of me. I had discovered that he was just given an inhaler only a few days ago and he was complaining that it was already out. I put my stethoscope over his lung fields. No wheezing. I checked his oxygen saturation:98% which was great! I knew he was using the inhaler to give him the “fix” that he needed. He liked the “high” that came from it that mimicked the drugs he used outside the prison.

I gave him 2 puffs. But he didn’t expect that I was going to take away the inhaler from him.

“I’m sorry, Sir. You’re not allowed to keep this at this time as you have been over-using the inhaler they gave you a few days ago. Nurses have to bring this to your unit. If you’re having trouble breathing, you can always alert your unit’s deputy so we can evaluate you every time.

He didn’t say anything. He accepted what was told. He thanked me for seeing him and giving him 2 puffs of the same inhaler for his asthma.

One minute later, the medical secretary advised me that one inmate wanted to come down to the Infirmary for complaints of asthma, too.

“Just send him down.”

“You’re too nice, Rcubes. I didn’t know, he’s here already. He’s that one waiting. He looks okay.”

“That’s okay. I’d rather see them in person and treat them depending on what I'll find out than to deny their requests without first seeing them,” I replied with a smile.

This other inmate was not having any shortness of breath. But I heard audible expiratory wheezes. He definitely could use one inhaler. So, I gave him one to keep. He didn't have any prior record of being given one. He was grateful to have it.

That's how it is at my work. You don't know what to expect. Some inmates are lying or faking their emergencies. Yet, some asymptomatic ones truly need help.

And that’s my prayer. That I will not miss that chance of being His instrument. That I will not be idle and fall asleep while working on duty. Under Him. I [We are] am serving an active God, so I must not lag in doing things for Him...[Glory be to You, Oh Lord!]




"Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you. On him God the Father has placed his seal of approval." ~ John 6:27


"Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord." ~ Romans 12:11


"But you, keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry." ~ 2 Timothy 4:5

My Gala Apple Tree

“J!” I hollered to my husband as he was standing close to our apple tree in the sideyard. “Can you pick some?”

“They still need a little bit more time,” he answered.

“Aww…They’re sweet! I ate one this morning!” I replied with a little disappointment.

We had bought a few dwarf fruit trees few years ago, when we just moved in into this house we’re living in now. One of them was this gala apple tree. The first time it bore fruits, I was hooked. The fruits were sweet, every bite echoed a crispy, refreshing sound.

And in every bite came the bittersweet reality that took me back to the garden of Eden, when our great [thousands of “great”] Grandma Eve chose to disobey God by taking those risky bites from that fruit.


I must say I should be angry with Eve for doing that. Thanks to her, I had tasted what “pain” meant to give birth to a child. And my hubby working hard to make ends meet?

Now, who knows what kind of apple she ate and Adam ate. But what matters to me now is the truth that God truly loves humanity so much that He sent Jesus down here, the true Vine. And any fruit that clings to this Vine and remains on this Vine will truly live. What’s amazing with this Tree, is that even though I’m not a grape, He grafted me. And so if you are a peach, lemon, cherry, whatever fruit, you are invited to cling to this Vine. But don’t you brag about it!

“You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit— fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name.” - John 15:16

To be a part of this vine, it’s just impossible to be united with God and remain ignorant of Him. And especially, not to show or manifest His own attribute - which is love.

“4Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.5"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”- John 15:4-5


Remaining is not simply to just believe in Jesus. It is to be in union with Him. To know more about Him and to know more about Jesus is to know more about the things of God, for Jesus is the complete representation of God. To remain in Him brings the deepest fulfillment and deepest joy in our lives. But to some, “obedience” means conforming to societal rules. But to Jesus, “obedience” means conforming to the Father Who is the Source of love. If there is no joy in us, then maybe we need to consider how much we know Jesus.

If you are that kind of fruit that continues to reject the invitation to be “grafted” into the Vine, it’s fortunate that God’s response is always to pursue you with love.

So, what kind of fruit are you? Producing on your own or are you willing to remain in the Vine? How great it must be to see every church becoming a beautiful garden in this world, instead of a lone retreat.

Before you take that bite from whatever fruit you’re eating, think about it….

The Last Day

She stood quietly in a far corner. Waiting for her turn to be called by me as I helped the LVN’s yesterday during accucheck hour. I knew her for every weekend that I helped out, she had been there, for how long I couldn’t recall. She used to be impatient, always whining like the rest of the female diabetics. Yesterday was no different. The usual bickering among them. The whining. Gossiping. Except there was something different with her this time. She was smiling. Quiet. Reserved. Her face glowing with happiness. I had not seen that before from this particular inmate.

“Cut it down, Ladies!” I yelled through the thick glass, partition window. I tried to only call 2 diabetics at a time. I never allowed anyone to try to distract me with complaints, knowing it could only take that precious second before anyone could try to hide the needles they were allowed to use to poke their fingers and the syringes to administer to those who need their morning doses of insulin. They could improvise and potentially make a weapon out of that small needle or sometimes, use them for tattooing. Silence. The deputy was pleased that these female inmates listened to me.

“Miss B.!” I yelled as she met my stare and quietly approached the window. Her smile lingered.

“Good morning, Ma’am…This is my last day and I just want to thank you for everything you did,” she uttered.

“You’re going home?” I asked.

“Yup! I’m being released today,” she responded.

“No wonder why you’re so happy. Take care of yourself out there. And try to make things better so you don’t come back here,” I added.

“Yes, Ma’am. Thank you.” she replied as she handed me back the cup that contained the used “poker” [needles].

Haven’t we been smiling, too? Since knowing that we have been freed by accepting Christ into our hearts? Knowing that despite the struggles we are all in in this big prison [world], we have this “hope” that is not short-lived but lasts eternal.

Oh, how I long sometimes to be with Him in His Kingdom. But I am still here in this world. For a purpose. You, too. But how traumatic it is to live here and not have that eternal hope. For those who don’t want to believe in His eternal promise of life, they are just stuck in this world’s system. Striving for popularity, pleasure, money, prestige or power.

Yes, with Christ, to die is better. We are being removed from all the troubles here. And to see Him face to face? Unfathomable! If we are feeling loved now and we know how much He values each of us, what more to be with Him? But if you are not ready to die, then, you are missing a lot of things here in this world. Things that have eternal weight. Things that are not eaten by moths. Things that do not rust. We don't need to wait until we die to have them. We can start now. Right here. In this corner. Now. You can start smiling if you allow yourself to know the freedom that Jesus offers.

Yes, For me, I’ll keep showing my smile, despite the ills of this world. We are all in this fight together. It is a privilege to trust in Christ but also it is, too in suffering for Him. I am smiling knowing that I’m free because of what Jesus had done for us. I’m not afraid to die anymore. And for now, I will ask for His guidance and wisdom to help me live the remaining days of my life devoting my time to reflect what His love and grace means to those who haven’t come to know Him.

"Have you accepted the Lord Jesus into your heart?"

Don't be a prisoner of this world. Be a prisoner of hope!



“For I live in eager expectation and hope that I will never do anything that causes me shame, but that I will always be bold for Christ, as I have been in the past, and that my life will always honor Christ, whether I live or die. For to me, living is for Christ, and dying is even better.” - Philippians 1:20-21