The Past Is A Part of Today and Tomorrow's Actions

There were 20 something bodies that morning to be seen by me for sick call. I learned to prioritize by doing the treatments first [like blood pressure checks and dressing changes] to have them out of the way. Then, the sick call I could call one by one and usually would run smoothly.

The clinic’s door was narrow. A few steps away was a desk, telephone, and other medical equipments. The nearby sink was crowded with jars full of gauzes, tongue blades, band-aids, cotton balls, bottles of saline and hand soap.

When I did all the treatments, I called the first inmate who requested a sick call. I noticed he only spoke Spanish so I needed an interpreter. Even before I asked if someone would volunteer to interpret, a young male inmate worker stepped up and eagerly offered his help. The deputy was just nearby.

One thing I learned working in this setting was to never turn my back on the inmates. Even if it seemed that I had my back turned, my eyes would be busy revolving around me and my ears would be fully opened to always be alert on what was going on.

I motioned for the sick inmate to sit on the chair next to my desk. The interpreter positioned himself by the sink which was fine with me because I wanted to give the other inmate some privacy, too and I didn’t want both of them to crowd my clinic. [That was also for my own safety].

I knew the volunteer. He was a good, hard working inmate. I would see him help serve the food trays and clean up after they were served. He put things in order.

He was leaning by the ledge of the sink the whole time I was doing sick call. When I got done seeing the sick inmate, the volunteer started to head out the door, too.

“Sir, I didn’t ask you to leave yet,” I politely told the interpreter.

“I thought you’re done seeing him, Ma’am?” he replied.

“Yes, I was. I want to thank you for interpreting for us. I want you to know I really appreciated that. Except with you stealing some of my band-aids!”

“Whoa!,” he exclaimed, as his jaw seemed to have dropped on the ground.

“What? I didn’t steal anything!” he protested. [By this time, the deputy was standing by the door, too].

“You didn’t? Are you sure? Because now, I would like you to turn around and show the deputy the left back pocket of your pants”, I calmly requested. I saw him got a little nervous as a few beads of sweats formed on his forehead.

Sure enough, approximately 10 band-aid dressings were brought up by the digits of his left hand. He was so embarrassed and didn’t know what to say. His face turned red.

“Do you want me to put him on discipline, Nurse?,” asked the deputy [for stealing and lying].

“No. Will you just let me speak with him, please?” I told the deputy. [He took a few steps away to give us some privacy].

“Sir, I’m not here to tell you what’s right and what’s wrong. But you know the rules here. All you have to do is try to ask me if you can have some of those band-aids. I’m sure I wouldn’t mind giving you a few as a token of my appreciation for helping me with that inmate.”

“Ma’am, how did you know I did that? I’m so sorry. Thank you so much for not putting me on discipline,” his face with a relieved expression.

“I wouldn’t tell you how I knew. But I know you as a hard worker here. Don’t change that. You may go now,” I uttered.

“Ma’am, you’re good!” he replied softly. “Thank you again. I won’t do that again.” His body disappeared with the rest of the bodies for sick calls.

That inmate was a hard worker, always helpful to custody and Nursing staff. But his actions were totally different that day and was the opposite of the character I had known him for.

As Christians, our past is an important part of today’s actions and tomorrow’s plans. The past affects our decisions and actions today. In turn, also affects the future.

There are lessons to learn and mistakes that need not be repeated. Yesterday’s obedience to God does not remove the possibility of present disobedience.

How are you using your success from the past now and how well are you using it to prepare for the future?

Trusting In The Lord

[This is the second part to my latest post “Stand Firm” posted on June 13, 2009].

The palm trees were dancing back and forth, in tune with the mild wind blowing, as the dust was spun all around. After the electronic gate closed behind me, I spotted an empty parking spot right away on my right side. I stared at the glowing clock in my dashboard. It was 11:15p.m. I had 15 minutes spared before starting my work that night.

The past week had been an awful experience for me as I carried that burden of almost hating someone I worked with. But it was also a week of realization: I had reached my limit and I knew I needed God’s grace that would extend the strength I needed to face the situation. I closed my eyes as the slight howling of the wind seemed to carry God’s whispers and reminders He had shown me this past week as I had consulted His Word. My heart started praying:

“Lord, please be with me. This whole week had been totally chaotic for me. Whatever transpired, drained me, mentally and physically. Lord, I don’t want to deal with this situation on my own strength. I need Your guidance more now than ever. I want to face any situations that are about to happen tonight as I work, in ways that You will approve of. Remind me Lord that I represent You through my actions and my words. I want the people in this place to see You, not me. Lord, surround me with Your angels for I know that we wrestle against unseen enemies. I thank You Lord for always being there for me. I thank You that You never forsake me. I love You Lord…”

I slowly entered the door that led to the Clinic. This was the night I anticipated to speak with a charge nurse. I made up my mind as the Lord had shown me how to deal best with the problem I had with her.

“Hello,” as I smiled and greeted everyone.

That charge nurse was giving a nurse a chart so she could see an inmate that the deputies brought. I caught the chart from her hand and volunteered to see that inmate as I just started with my shift while the other nurse had been there 4 hours ahead of me.

“Thank you,” she uttered surprisingly.

After treating the inmate, I went back to the charge nurse. Softly, I had requested if I could talk to her in her office. She got up immediately and told me to close the door behind us if I wanted to. I did.

My voice started cracking, not so much with nervousness but of wanting to be forgiven.

“I just wanted to apologize to you. I’m sorry that I disrespected you the way I answered you last time I worked with you. I didn’t mean that. My neck was hurting so bad because you were telling us a lot of things to do, way beyond what we could accomplish. I was getting frustrated but out of respect with you, I never said anything and did obey. Until I got to that point where I felt I was drowning. I didn’t want to talk with you when you asked me if we could talk because I knew I would end up saying hurtful words to you. I didn’t want to express words that I would regret forever and that I never meant to say. I’m just not that way. You know how hard I work here since day 1. You know I’ve never been in any troubles. I would like to remain that way – a productive employee,” my eyes swelled with a little bit of tears.

Her eyes looked intently with mine. She wasn’t saying anything the whole time. She allowed me to speak but her stare was one of amazement, of an adoring kind of stare. Because she knew I was speaking from my heart. Her facial expression conveyed a deeper level of understanding, of openness. Her stare was of acceptance, her silent heart penetrated by an act of a sincere apology, forgiveness, of restoration and of healing for whatever broke in our bonds as co-workers. She was surprised by a show of humbleness, not of defiance nor arrogance of an employee who could have shown a lot of remorse.

“Okay. Thank you,” was all she said as we both began to step out of her office.

I felt something heavy got lifted off my shoulders. I knew a healing process had began from what could have been destroyed. [“Thank You Lord for Your intervention”, I softly whispered.].

That night went smoothly. I had noticed she wasn’t delegating the day’s workload anymore. She was just letting us, the night crew, tried to finish our expected work with our own pace.

There was something else I had noticed. She was venting out her frustrations with me, as the other deputies from other jails asked for her medical advices and they seemed not to agree with her decisions. She was asking for my confirmation. I knew I earned some kind of respect from her.

My neck was not hurting that bad. I took my break and in my solitude, talked with the Lord:

“Lord, thank You for Your help. If not for You, our talk would not have gone smoothly. If not for Your direction, I wouldn’t accomplish anything on my own and would end up destroying everything I had worked hard for all these years. If not for You, there would be no resolution. Lord, thank You!”

I love Proverbs 3:5,6 – “Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will direct your paths.”

When we have an important decision to make, it’s hard to trust someone sometimes for their input or advices. But there is Someone Who knows what’s best for us. God is a better judge of what we want than we are! We must trust Him completely in every choice we have to make. We should not belittle our God-given ability to reason nor omit careful thinking. We must not be wise in our own eyes but instead, be willing to listen and be corrected by God’s Word. Let us bring our decision-making to God and then, follow His leading. He does guide and protect us!

Stand Firm

My neck was starting to hurt, as my frustrations started to grow inside. I had been non-stop with work from the time I got there at 11:30 p.m. I glanced wearily at my watch: 2:00 a.m.


This charge nurse was known for finding things to do. She doesn’t let anyone just sit around. I have no problem with that because that’s my work attitude, too. I don’t want to be lazy knowing that it doesn’t please the “Boss”. Every night, she delegates most of the work to the nurses and other staff members.


I had barely gotten done charting after seeing an inmate who returned from the hospital’s ER. She was giving me another work to do. I calmly obeyed knowing that I needed to respect her. I always thought of what would please the Lord in my actions. So, I was merely doing it for the Lord. But being human, I have limitations, too. That night, I felt like I was a rubber band being stretched out to the max and I knew, I was ready to snap.


My co-worker felt the same. I knew her, too that she wasn’t a lazy person. She loved to help out the way I did! We both were finishing up a lot of doctor’s orders while seeing unscheduled sick calls that this charge nurse had summoned, answering phone calls, listening to the radio for any possible “mandown” because it would only be her and I to run to those medical emergencies, and reassessing all the inmates that had gone back from the hospital.


The charge nurse started looking at the blood pressure checks for that morning. We all knew that blood pressure checks and sick calls [not emergency ones] are the day shift’s work. But she wanted to do it as she found more and more things to do that was usually assigned for the day shift.


I had no problem with that, to help out others. But the problem was that, we had so much to do just for the night shift and to be given all those things when we weren’t even done yet with our assigned work was just unbearable that night.


“Rosel, can you also check the blood pressures of these inmates from unit 12?”


“No!, " I protested for the first time and she didn’t expect that from me knowing I had always worked without any complaints nor being told.


“Why? There were only 7 more!,” as she tried to laugh it off.


But I turned my back and got teary-eyed as I tried to seal my mouth so I won’t say things that would be disrespectful to her. I bottled up my frustrations for so long that I didn’t want to explode in front of her. If I wanted to let her know of my frustrations, it wouldn’t be like that kind of a show in a theater where everyone was there and would be able to watch and hear. Yet, I wasn’t ready to even speak with her.


“Do you have any problem?” asked the charge nurse as she saw that I wasn’t happy at all.


“Yes, I do. My neck is hurting me right now, “ I retorted. [I had a neck injury from the past and it was hurting as I did a lot of computer work and was doing things endlessly].


She came next to me as I was still charting on one of the inmate’s chart. “We’ll talk later.”


“No,” I answered with an upset tone. “I don’t need to talk with you at this time.”


“No…let’s talk!,” she insisted as if she didn’t hear me the first time.


“No! I told you, I don’t want to talk about anything at this time,” in a higher tone of voice so she could get what I just said.



I couldn’t believe myself for acting like that. The mounting pressure and frustrations changed my character in an instant. I didn’t want to talk to her because I was not in the right mood to do so. I was avoiding that in my frustration and being upset, I would utter something that would either hurt her or for me to regret forever.

My co-workers who had witnessed what occurred were supportive of me. They were all frustrated, too. But the thing was that no one was willing to stand up for himself or herself. They never made her aware that her wanting to finish everything which was impossible to be done by just one shift was making them feeling overwhelmed, frustrated, upset, burned out! One co-worker wanted me to talk with her and tell her that everyone’s getting burned out. And that saddened me, too – that no one wanted to be honest in making that charge nurse know how those extra, overwhelming loads of work are making them feel.


This entire week I was off, I had consulted the Lord. He was the “Living Water” that doused the “fire” that would have destroyed my work ethics and my once harmonious relationship with that charge nurse.



I would be talking to her when I go back because I wanted the charge nurse to know that I am not a monster. I am not an unwilling employee who disrespects employers. I am not mean. I am not lazy. I don’t need to be told on what to do because I have the initiative to do those things knowing they are my responsibilities. I am a good team player knowing that every work I do is essential to the night shift’s success in completing our task. I don’t mind helping others because it’s a 24-hour facility and there’s nothing wrong about that except that if there are enough people to do the task for that day, we are making them more lazy when we do the things for them, instead of the other way around. And they still complain that they [day shift] are frustrated.


I am God’s child who learned so much from my Father. He instructs me to do things with a cheerful heart. He wants me to consider others higher than myself. He wants me to serve not to be served like how He did it, to the point of even giving His own life on the cross for us. He wants me to fix my thoughts only on things that are true, honorable, and right. Things that are pure, lovely and admirable.




An effective teamwork happens when each team member uses his or her special skills. Each member’s strengths will contribute something important to the team’s effort. Most of us are good followers than being a leader in us. No leader is perfect. No human deserves our complete allegiance. Only God deserves our complete loyalty and obedience! We need to be effective team members in using the skills and abilities God had given us. But if the leader goes against God’s Word, we must be willing to stand alone.


Psalm 1:1 –“Oh, the joys of those who do not follow the advice of the wicked, or stand around with sinners, or join with scoffers.”


Isaiah 32:8 –“But the noble man makes noble plans, and by noble deeds he stands.”


Jeremiah 6:16 –“This is what the Lord says – Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls. But you said, ‘we will not walk in it’”.


Matthew 10:22 –“All men will hate you because of me, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved.”


1 Corinthians 16:13 –“Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong.”


Ephesians 6:11 –“Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.”

Love You Award

I've been busy running around today and when I finally had that chance to sit down on my favorite recliner and started checking the blogs for encouragement, sister Andrea had a surprise waiting for me! Please visit her site if you haven't known her yet. It's really amazing when the Lord brings us altogether and be able to blog for His glory! I am blessed by so many of you and sister Andrea was one of those I had met during my earlier times of writing. I am so thankful for her friendship that she remains a great friend to me, a great prayer buddy and of course, a dear sister in Christ.



I will just write here what sis Andrea explained about this blessing:



These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers. Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award.



It's my honor to share this "love you award" with the following and I hope that you will take time to visit them and say "hello" and I pray, that we'll all become friends...Since the other great friends and brothers/sisters in Christ I've known have received it from her, too, I would like to extend this blessing to the following:

Just Be Real - who continue to inspire me with her courage and transparency.

Brother Chris - a great daily prayer Intercessor.

Sister Heather - whose pictures, posts, poems, just about everything are so beautiful as her heart after God shows in all of her works. Tip: She even offers blog designs for "free"...

Brother Warren - his latest posts about parenting are awesome and very helpful.

Sister Denise - another encourager who is very much on fire for the Lord, too.

Brother Billy - an amazing writer. You have to visit him to know what I mean. He grills steaks and makes lemonade, too.

Sister Jennifer - the moment I visited her site, I was hooked. From the title of her blog, it already had me. See for yourself how terrific of a writer she is!

Brother Peter - I have met this unselfish man who shares his battle with depression and has a lot of tips in how to overcome it. He did it because of his unwavering faith!

And the rest of you, too many to mention, you know how awesome your friendships are to me! God bless you all and thank you for always encouraging me...