Thank you For Saving Me

There was this particular cell right next to the Medical Clinic that housed a maximum of 20 inmates. Most of them had difficulty walking because of their history of heart problems, back problems, or perhaps, they were just being treated with dressing changes for their wounds sustained from either injuries or fights.

Being a small number, I got to really know each of them. I had noticed that "Mr. Brown" with a heart problem might be out of his medications. So, I went over and handed him a few tablets after verifying that he was truly out of those important medications. I told him that I put his chart for the doctor to review it so the doctor could reorder the expired prescriptions. A thunder-like voice thanked me, as I was looking up to see his face through those metal bars; his tall stature obviously towered my short height.

Nothing out of the ordinary that morning as I tried to pass their medications, a daily routine before they would eat their breakfasts. If someone heard me, he would yell “Meds!” to wake up the rest on medications so they could form into a line while they came to me with a cup of water and their ID’s for verification.

The bunk closer to the metal bars had a new body I didn’t recognize that morning. A young man who must have gotten hurt or sick while I was on my day off. Being close, he was the first one to hear my footsteps and even before I announced “meds!”, he yelled at the top of his young lungs, with chest lifted up like how Tarzan would roar in the jungle: “Drugs!!! The drug pusher is here!!!” as he smiled sheepishly.

He knew the block deputy was out of sight, busy monitoring the inmates who were passing the breakfast trays to other housed inmates. He knew he could get away with his arrogant behavior of being disrespectful to me and trying to be funny with the other inmates in his cell. He knew I looked like a helpless nurse, being small in stature.

I confronted him with a gentle but authoritative voice, “Sir, it’s not funny!”
“If you’re trying to be funny, I encourage you to stop now because I can let the deputy know and have you be put on discipline because you are being disrespectful to me,” I added.

“Ha…ha…ha…Uh-huh. It is funny, too! You bring drugs!” he replied.

Standing solo in front of me, he continued this mocking act. No one else was laughing. Until a huge shadow crept up behind him. A thunder-like voice cut in with his non-stop yakking, “Are you making fun of this nurse? I know her…You don’t... She works very hard here. Why are you calling her drug pusher when she’s just doing her job?” I saw the tall inmate’s hands curled into big fists as he took a stance to balance himself steadily, as if waiting for some punches to be thrown at him.

“What?!” the mocking inmate replied in an annoyed tone of voice as he pivoted to see who tried to interrupt his fun. His face turned white when he saw how huge and towering the other inmate was. His endless chattering stopped immediately as his jaw seemed to have dropped into the ground.

Cowering like a mouse in front of a big cat, he mumbled softly, “No. I wasn’t making fun of her.” He started taking little steps toward his bunk.

“You can’t go yet!” commanded the huge voice. “You haven’t apologized to her.”

The mocking face earlier was now replaced with a fear-stricken, pale face, “I’m sorry, nurse. I won’t do that again.”

“Thank you, Mr. Brown. Thank you for saving me…” I uttered sincerely to this man who had heart problem but without any second thought had stepped in to rescue me.

Instead of accepting my sincere gratitude, he told me he was the one who owed me one. Because he would be forever grateful that I was there monitoring his health or his medical needs.

“That’s the least I can do for you, Ma’am,” as he bowed his head as if he was in front of a person with sovereign power.

There’s Someone Who monitors my health, too. He is interested with my healing. He sees me when I fall, only to reach out to me so He can lift me up. He wipes my tears and comforts me with His loving promises and instills joy in me, despite my sorrowful times. He provides so many things with all of my needs.

He healed my broken heart and when I accepted His love, He promised me an eternal life. His love is unconditional.

He wants to do that for all of us. If you are listening to Satan’s mockery of Jesus: “DON’T!” It’s not funny. It’s not a joke that Jesus gave His own life and died on that wooden cross. It was His way of paying for all of our sins.

“Meds!!! Wake up and get your Meds!!! Go to Jesus!” Bring your cup [life] that will be filled with the Living Water. Show Him your ID and He will verify that you are His child when you go to Him. Open up your heart…Believe…Stop mocking Him…

“Lord, thank You for saving me…”

Be Watchful

“Hey!”, I yelled to the inmate whose right hand was stretched out so hard to get a few more packets of sweeteners. He was one of the diabetics waiting for the LVN’s to come to the window so their sugar level for that morning would be checked one by one. Thinking that there was no one around and not able to see where I was, his right hand just stretched and went for that opportunity to steal some packets of that artificial sugar.

“What’s up Sir? You know the rules here,” as I approached the glass partition window.

“I am so sorry Ma’am,” as his face who would have been bragging to those other ones sitting around if he wasn’t caught, was now red and very embarrassed.

[I knew him. He was an elderly man, always polite. He would be the last person I would think to be able to do that; first, because he was frail and secondly, he would always just patiently wait for his turn without any complaints].

“It’s you?. You could have just asked for some extra ones from the other nurses when you check your sugar level.”

“I don’t know what to say but I’m so sorry,” he replied.

“That’s okay. But we’ve been telling all of you how limited our supply with sweeteners are sometimes. And to be fair, if one gets 2 packets, then the rest gets 2 packets.”

“It won’t happen again, I can promise you that. I’m sorry, Ma’am.”

“I will let you go but you know that if you do it again, you can be punished for stealing. Next time, just ask, okay?”

“Okay, Ma’am. Thank you,” as he walked away from the window and went back to sit down among the rest of the inmates waiting for their accuchecks to be done.

To keep watch over something means guarding it against intruders. This also applies to our hearts or houses. Just as we don’t want a thief to break into our homes when we are away or just sleeping, we will not want the world to end when we are spiritually asleep.

Jesus said, “Watch out! Don’t let Me find you living in careless ease and drunkenness, and filled with the worries of this life. Don’t let that day catch you unaware, as in a trap. For that day will come upon everyone living on the earth. Keep a constant watch. And pray, that if possible, you may escape these horrors and stand before the Son of Man.” [Luke 21: 34-36].

Even if the end of the world doesn’t happen in our lifetime, it will still end when we die. Many believe that even after we die, we still have the chance to get things right with God. But the Bible is very clear about the next step after death: “It is destined that each person dies only once and after that, comes judgment.” –Hebrews 9:27.

Just Do It! [But For The Lord]

Colossians 3:23 -"Work hard and cheerfully at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people."

Colossians 3:17 -"And whatever you do or say, let it be a representative of the Lord Jesus, all the while giving thanks through Him to God the Father."

Hebrews 6:10 –“God is not unjust; He will not forget your work and the love you have shown Him as you have helped His people and continue to help them.”

2 Timothy 2:21 –“If a man cleanses himself, he will be an instrument for noble purposes, made holy, useful to the Master and prepared to do any good work.”

“Rosel, do you mind seeing this inmate who was complaining of difficulty breathing?”, asked the PM shift “fill-in” charge nurse.

I just walked in prior to me starting my 23:30 hrs. shift. People at work knows that I work with my heart. I don’t sit around and I try to help out in whatever way I can.

“Well, have you asked if the unit deputy could escort the inmate down here since it would be difficult to evaluate him in his cell?”

Laughing she answered, “No! Do you mind asking them?”

Something stabbed my heart – a little bit of frustration. Right there, I knew she purposely waited for me to come, instead of evaluating the inmate when the unit called for help. She didn’t know what was going on with the inmate when I asked for more questions. It was frustrating because she was the same person who has a habit now of passing on work, specially if their shift was about to end.

Nothing wrong with “passing the buck” since we work for 24 hours. What was wrong was the “laziness” going on. She was just sitting around when I came on. And I know how to be a charge nurse, because I fill-in sometimes, too to sit on that chair. It’s not hard but people make it look hard to make themselves look they are busy.

There are times that it is hard when it comes to making decisions and discerning which problem needs to be taken cared of first. If your staff is busy, and as a charge nurse you’ re not, it doesn’t hurt to help out.

If I didn’t know God, I would have gotten ticked off so bad that I would have probably erupted with not nice kind of words, just like how other of my co-workers are.

They sit around, talking, gossiping. They take long breaks. They hold on to their charts, pretending to do doctor’s orders in the computer when they have those charts for the longest time. They take their time doing things.

It’s frustrating because coming from a busy hospital floor [Orthopedics], our kind of work in prisons is challenging but still easy compared to what we do at the hospitals. And I know most of us came from hospitals. There was just no excuse to be lazy and whine about work. It’s not a pretty sight, but I don’t need to be like them.

I always thank the Lord that when we accept Him, He truly renews our minds and our hearts if we allow Him to. His wisdom changed me. He changed my worldly ways into ways that are pleasing to Him, none other. He made me realize that we must not go with the flow with the things that do not glorify Him.

Because of my God, I go to work with a cheerful heart, doing things for Him because He is my Boss. I don’t want the rewards that earthly employers give. I would rather get the rewards from my Lord. He is the Giver of gifts. I would rather put a smile on His face and not please my co-workers.

It took me only 5 minutes to see that inmate who thought he was having an asthma attack but actually he has a history of having panic attacks. Nothing to do except for him to try to calm down as what I previously suggested with him the last time I treated him. He was embarrassed about the whole thing. But I reassured him that it would always be okay to ask for help because next time, it could be a real asthma attack.

“So, what was wrong with him? That was quick!” asked that charge nurse.

I said, “Nothing! He just needed to relax. But even if it wasn’t an asthma attack, it doesn’t hurt for us to see him immediately because he could be having a real one next time around. He has a history of it.”

She got silent and did not know what to say. I hoped that by me saying that, she got what I tried to implied: even if the complaint was not a true emergency, if they still had the time, they should not ignore it.

She said good night and thank you to me. But I was saying “thank You” to my “Charge Nurse” [up there] Who would want me to do the right thing all the time. And by His grace, I can…

Read what the Lord says about “laziness”:

Proverbs 13:11 -"Wealth from get-rich-quick schemes quickly disappears; wealth from hard work grows."

Proverbs 19:15 – "Laziness brings on deep sleep, and the shiftless man goes hungry.”

Ecclesiastes 10:18 –“Laziness lets the roof leak, and soon the rafters begin to rot.”

Proverbs 12:27 –“Lazy people don’t even cook the game they catch, but the diligent make use of everything they find.”

Proverbs 20:13 -"If you love sleep, you will end in poverty. Keep your eyes open and there will be plenty to eat."

Proverbs 26:15 -"Some people are so lazy that they won't even lift a finger to feed themselves."

Proverbs 26:16 -"Lazy people consider themselves smarter than seven wise counselors."

2 Thessalonians 3:6 – “And now, dear brothers and sisters, we give you this command with the authority of our Lord Jesus Christ: stay away from any Christian who lives in idleness and doesn’t follow the tradition of hard work we gave you.”

Need I say more? Just get up and do it! Do things for the Lord!

Queen of All Things

Sister Christy Rose surprised me this morning by sharing this award: "Queen of Alll Things". "Awe-summm" as it says on the bottom of it.

I view my life as a big puzzle, with different pieces strewn out on this floor of life. My puzzle [life] is not awesome until the last piece is placed by the loving hands of my Lord.

I am thankful to your friendship sister Christy and to others I had met and have not met that the Lord brought into my life through this blogosphere. You continue to inspire me with your blog that reflects your deep love for the Creator, "the secret life of an American wife and mom", which is not a secret anymore as you chose to share your walk with the Lord. For those of you who haven't met sister Christy, I encourage you to check her site and be blessed the way she blesses me every time.

I know through these blessings [awards], it's not about winning or recognition, but as we share it, we have that opportunity to meet many others who are also blogging for the Lord. And through blogging, by doing so, we are able to share what the Lord had done and is still doing with each of us.

The rule of the award is to:

- List 7 things that make you "awe-summm" and then, pass the award on to 7 bloggers you love.

-Make sure to tag the recepients and let them know they have won!

- Link back to the "Queen" that tagged you.

"I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of My hand." - John 10:28

1. My life that is a "puzzle" is not like other puzzles that are hard to solve. The verse above reminds me that my life is awesome since giving my heart to the Lord. It has meaning. It has directions.

2. "Awesome Lord" gave me an "awesome husband who is a godly-fearing man himself, always there beside me, encouraging me in all ways. He is the definition of "for richer or poorer, in health or sickness, 'til death do us part..."

3. "Awesome Lord" made me an "awe-summ queen" because He blessed us with an awesome son who is thoughtful and sweet in his ways, very respectful of the Lord and of us and others.

4. I love to write for the Lord so thanks to Him that I learned how to blog. He blessed me with awesome brothers and sisters in His Holy Name who also write for His glory!

5. Inspired by Him, I love to compose songs that I use to worship Him in return. It's awesome, He gives me songs so I can praise Him with my guitar! I don't care if I don't have a nice voice :) My Lord says otherwise.

6. I used to be an Orthopedic Nurse for 10 years. Out of the blue, I sustained a neck injury. The doctor told me to get out of this field. But I love it - to help others in their sickness and healing process. "Nothing is impossible with our Lord!" He brought me to a correctional facility, took away my fears and guides me still always. It's not an easy transition, but don't forget that there is no problem bigger than the Lord. I am praying that I am His "awe-summm" tool in sharing His light in that dark place. To God be the glory!

7. I am contented with things. Just love simple things and quiet life. Love to bless and encourage others because the Lord had blessed me and encouraged me first!

Yes, I am "Queen of All Things" but not "Awe-summm" yet, until the work marked for me is finished. By then, I am aiming to finish it and endure whatever comes my way [by God's grace]. I pray that when that time comes, Someone will say, "Rosel, you are AWE-SUMMM" as He placed that last piece of puzzle that would complete my life's journey.

It's hard to pick just 7 bloggers that I love because honestly speaking I have more than that, so I think I am going to break this rule and would love you guys to check out these wonderful sites.

They are all awesome and on fire for the Lord! We can all learn from each other and different opinions we may have, but the bottom line is: we are all united by His love...

- you wanna smile? check out sister Mary

-need a youthful input? check out Cait

-need a laugh? go to sister Kat

-a great prayer intercessor, friend, lover of Jesus, and many more: sister Lisa

-a woman with a humble heart: sister Alleluiabelle

-she calls herself "crazy"....for Jesus : sister Beth

-she stood up to write for the Lord, owner of an awesome therapy dog: sister Andrea

-sister Christy had shared this blessing with her, but I want to still because when the word "transparency" comes, it makes me think of her: sister Cynthia

-she doesn't like awards but this sweet woman deserves it, too because no matter what, she keeps on walking on that narrow path that leads to life: sister Bren

-if you want a little bit of everything: tears, laughter, craziness, check her out: sister Heather

-passionate for Jesus, no matter what: sister Denise

-a great photographer who combines the pics with powerful Scriptures: sister Heather

-writing is her calling: sister Mary

You, all of you are "awe-summmmm" and that word doesn't even describe it. Keep writing for the Lord! God bless. Thank you sister Christy.

Got Spirit?

05/27/09- This is an immediate prayer request for our dear sister Alleluiabelle. Please take a moment to visit her and pray for her and her husband and family. Thank you and God bless.

A methamphetamine-induced "high" artificially boosts self-confidence, many users are overcome by a so-called "superman syndrome." In this state, methamphetamine abusers ignore their physical limitations and try to do things which they are normally incapable of performing. Meth is highly addictive because people often continue using the drug to avoid an inevitable crash that comes when the drugs' positive effects begin to wear off. Even first-time users experience many of meth's negative effects. [Source: Clearhavencenter.com].

I didn’t see “self confidence”when the Highway Patrol Officer led this young man into the chair inside the Nurse’s Clinic at Intake [where arrestees first get searched and processed in prisons]. Bowing his head way low, his chin almost touching his upper chest, he wouldn’t dare look me in the eye. I saw some beads of tears fall as he constantly rubbed his eyes with the digits of his left hand.

“Sir, it’s okay. You can talk to me. I want to help you. What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know…I don’t know.”[as he kept hiding his face from me].

“Do you drink alcohol?”

“No.”

“Do you use street drugs?”

“Meth. I use 8-ball everyday, whatever maximum amount my hands could get,” he mumbled under his breath.

Vital signs were: Pulse: 110, Blood pressure: 109/69. So, the pulse was slightly racing.

“If there was nothing wrong, how come you couldn’t look me in the eye?”

“I’m seeing people. They are not even there. I don’t want to see them. And sometimes, I hear voices.”

“What are the voices telling you?”

“I don’t know.”

“Do you feel like hurting yourself because of that?”

A forced “Yes” was given. [I placed him on Suicide Watch].

How sad that there are so many young people hooked up on drugs at such an early age. They like the “sudden thrill” that the illegal substances give them, without thinking of the drugs’ adverse effects, specially on their health. The substances control their lives. Like a bug trapped in the spider’s web, their bodies are ensnared with the habitual use of drugs.

It is a scary world out there as peer pressure or just out of curiosity, children are prone to being tempted to use illegal substances. Instead of the “high” they get from these drugs, as parents, we can help our children avoid the use, as we start by building up their “self esteem”. If they have a positive image, children have a better way of standing up against peer pressure. We must remind them that they are God’s special creation [Psalm 139:13-16] and worth of dignity and respect. Kids might think that “using drugs are cool” but we must warn them that they are truly dangerous.

As parents, we can monitor the kind of friendships they have outside our homes. It helps to know the other friends’ families. Unsupervised, it is a temptation for drug experimentation. If we provide our children activities, their minds would be busy doing something productive instead.

Prayers and a closer walk with God will help them live by the Spirit. The Spirit is God’s gift to all who will believe in what Jesus had done. It indwells all believers permanently. [2 Corinthians 1:22 –“and who has also put His seal on us and given us His Spirit in our hearts as a guarantee.”]. When we allow the Spirit to freely occupy every part of our lives, then He will guide and control us.

So…"got Spirit?”

“Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires.”
–Romans 8:5

“For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live” – Romans 8:13

“Don't you know that you yourselves are God's temple and that God's Spirit lives in you?”
- 1 Corinthians 3:16

“So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature.” –Galatians 5:16

“We know that we live in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit.” -1 John 4:13

We Have The Mind of Christ

I was a new nurse at that time and was assigned to one of the prisons in this County I worked for. Not being familiar with most of the custody staff and lay out of that jail, I just trusted in the Lord that I wouldn’t be afraid because He would be my guide in that new place.

Feeling confident every night that I used to work, I heard the radio paging for the Facility Nurse to go to a “mandown” [medical emergency]. I answered promptly and had asked the deputy who called to keep clicking the electronic control that would open the cell. That way, I could follow the sound and be able to reach the fallen inmate.

The man was young. I had found him unconscious on the cold floor. He was diaphoretic but I felt the carotid pulse beating and he was still breathing. According to other cell mates, he spoke of Spanish only, which would make my assessment even harder if he was conscious due to language barrier. Fumbling for a tiny pen light I always carried in my lab coat’s pocket, I started flashing the non-blinding light to both of his pupils to check his neurovascular status.

I saw the deputies surrounding me started talking with their eyes as if I wasn’t doing anything to help out the downed inmate. They probably were anticipating for me to start an IV right away or whiff that ammonia by his nostrils to try to wake him up. They didn’t understand that what I was doing was vital in my over-all assessment prior to me calling the ambulance and the ER doctor. Without hearing any word, I could tell by their gestures that they were making fun of me. But that wasn’t important because I had a life I needed to save that moment that mattered the most!

The man’s pupils were so dilated. They were not constricting or reacting the way they were supposed to when I shone the light over each of his eyes. The cell mates denied him falling and hitting the head. They didn’t think he was on any medications.

I called for the ambulance and they came immediately to take this young man to a hospital. I was off for a few days and when I went back, the same deputies who was there with me that night were smiling as they said “hello”. I felt so much respect with their tone of voice. My co-worker who was an LVN was the one who told me that I was indeed the talk of the deputies on my days off because they didn’t understand why I kept shining the pen light over the eyes of that inmate when he was unconscious and it seemed like I wasn’t doing anything. To make it short, they were making fun of me! Not until they found out with what happened with the inmate when he got brought to the hospital…

The inmate ended up being hospitalized and never woke up. He was put on life support. Diagnostic x-rays revealed he had a big tumor in his brain. When I sent him out, I had written in the note for the ER doctor that his pupils were not responding to the light. Obviously, that meant there was something wrong with his neurovascular status. That was how they ordered whatever necessary scans that discovered this huge tumor and treated him accordingly.

Those who don’t know the love of God are acting in the same way as those deputies. How often have we heard this favorite verse from 1 Corinthians 2:9 –“No eye has seen. No ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love Him.”

If we open our Bibles, let us not stop in that verse alone. Let’s keep reading further…

Verse 10: But we know these things because God has revealed them to us by His Spirit, and His Spirit searches out everything and shows us even God’s deepest secrets.

Verse 11: No one can know what anyone else is really thinking except that person alone, and no one can know God’s thoughts except God’s own Spirit.

Verse 12: And God has actually given us His Spirit [not the world’s spirit] so we can know the wonderful things God has freely given us.

Verse 14: But people who aren’t Christians can’t understand these truths from God’s Spirit. It all sounds foolish to them because only those who have the Spirit can understand what the Spirit means.

Verse 15: We, who have the Spirit understand these things, but others can’t understand us at all.

Yes, we can’t imagine what God has in store for us. But for now, because we have His mind as the Holy Spirit works in us, He comforts and guides us. We know what we are hoping for: an eternal future that awaits us and encourages us to press on in this life and endure any hardships.

Even the wisest person would not be able to grasp God’s wisdom, unless they accept His message.

"Tear Down This Wall"

Ephesians 2:14 –“For Christ Himself made peace between us Jews and you Gentiles by making us all one people. He has broken down the wall of hostility that used to separate us.”

Ephesians 2:15 –“By His death He ended the whole system of Jewish law that excluded the Gentiles. His purpose was to make peace between Jews and Gentiles by creating in Himself one new person from the two groups.”

Ephesians 2:16 –“Together as one body, Christ reconciled both groups to God by means of His death, and our hostility toward each other was put to death.”


Who would have forgotten President Ronald Reagan’s speech challenging the then General Secretary of Russia’s Communist Party, President Mikhail Gorbachev to “tear down the [Berlin] wall?” I love Ronald Reagan. He had that guts to propose to end this wall that separated one country!






That wall was a symbol of communism built in 1961. As Russia supported the communist Eastern part, a little after, President John F. Kennedy stated the support of United States for the democratic Western side.

Prior to his famous “Tear Down The Wall” speech, a lot of Reagan advisers had objected for him to say this phrase for fear of tension between the East and the West and for the potential embarrassment to Mr. Gorbachev, with whom Reagan had built a good relationship. But the President liked the draft of this speech upon seeing it. He said, “We’ll leave it in.”

As he finally said this speech, he added much later, “As I looked out a moment ago from the Reichstag, that embodiment of German unity, I noticed words crudely spray-painted upon the wall, perhaps by a young Berliner, 'This wall will fall. Beliefs become reality.' Yes, across Europe, this wall will fall. For it cannot withstand faith; it cannot withstand truth. The wall cannot withstand freedom." –[Source:Wikipedia].

At first, the Soviets were unimpressed and accused Reagan of giving a war-mongering speech. But 29 months later, Gorbachev allowed the Berliners to destroy that wall. Ironically, as the wall collapsed, so did the Soviet Union.

There are also many barriers that divide us, Christians: age, appearance, intelligence, political persuasion, economic status, race, etc… Christ is also inviting us to destroy the walls or barriers that we build between us. If we listen to Christ’s invitation to do so, we can have real unity among ourselves. God wants us to have a true reconciliation. Because of His death, we are all one and our hostility should have been put to death. His cross should be the focus of that unity.

Christians share a unity that is deeper than that of “blood brothers and sisters”. We are all part of God’s family. Yes, we can have opposing views but we don’t have to be divisive. We must remember that despite our differing opinions, the only thing that matters is that Jesus Christ is our LORD!

So, let us destroy that wall among us believers before we can truly share unity with non-believers. Let that wall collapse!

P.S.

Let's remember in our prayers those who risk their lives everyday to fight for our freedom! Everyone in the military and law enforcement! And for those who already lost their lives doing so. They not only fight for freedom, they tear down the walls of injustices and oppression! God bless all of you and thank you.

God Hears Our Calls

I wasn't going to post anything until tomorrow but my heart feels so heavy today Oh Lord, hurting for those who are in pain and suffering at this moment. Lord, please hear our afflictions.

I am lifting up my own family, friends and friends I had met in blogosphere Lord, that whatever trial each of them is going through, You are comforting them and covering them with Your love and grace. Lord, we need Your protection so I ask that You send Your angels to protect us all from the works of the evil one.

Lord, I choose to thank You and rejoice despite myself knowing how many of them are in great trials and tribulations. I rejoice knowing that You give the "deliverance", no matter what circumstances we are facing. Please forgive me for all of my sins Oh God and remove anything that hinders my walk with You.

Thank You Father that we can come to You boldly because of our Lord Jesus Christ. Remind us Lord that when You answer our petitions, it is in Your timeline, not of ours. Help us remember that "a day can be like a thousand years to You or a thousand years be like a day." But everything happens in Your perfect time.

Thank You for loving us unconditionally. Thank You for not forsaking us. Thank You Lord for always being with us as we go through all of these trials. Thank You Lord that in our weakness, You are truly our strength. Thank You Lord that we can do everything through Christ's strength. I love You Lord. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

Holding the inmate’s forearm, I applied a firm pressure to control the bleeding on a 5 inch superficial laceration. He tried cutting his arm and stated his plan to hurt himself.

As I was cleaning the wound so I can cover it with a dressing, that was when he started talking more:

“You gotta’ believe me you guys! I just did it because those guys want to kill me! I don’t want to be threatened anymore! The other day, one of them hit me!,” he softly cried.

“Who are they?”, asked the Deputy.

“Those “Skin Heads”. I don’t know why they want to hurt me!”

“Please deputy! Do something!”

“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it,” answered the deputy.

Hearing his urgent cry for help, I did my part, too by putting him on Suicide Watch even though he didn’t really have an underlying mental problem. But I wanted him to be cleared by the Mental Health Doctor anyway, just to make sure that he truly didn’t have an intention to commit suicide. I wanted to separate him from those men he mentioned if his claims were true. I was thinking while the custody staff investigated, at least this man would be away from harm.

He thanked me, still tearful, now with a clean, newly-dressed arm. The bleeding had stopped. Despite the tears, I could tell, he felt some hope and a sense of relief that he wouldn’t go back to his unit.

[Source: Life Application Bible]:

Regular communication helps any friendship and is certainly necessary for a strong relationship with God. Through prayers, we do so. He remains close to those who call on Him. He hears our cries and rescues us. If you are bending under a burden and feel that you are about to fall, turn to God for help! He is ready to lift you up and bear your burden.

How many times in my life I have no other one to help me out but the Lord? And yes, He answered my prayers! Sometimes, it might not be right away. Sometimes, it was not the answer that I wanted. But every time I was in distress, He would swiftly make His presence known, lessening my fears and worries, even taking them away by replacing it with His love, mercy, forgiveness, and grace.

So, if you have “spiritual emergencies”, don’t forget to dial the Lord’s 9-1-1. It’s open 24/7.

“Oh Lord, hear me as I pray; pay attention to my groaning. Listen to my cry for help, my King and my God, for I will never pray to anyone but You. Listen to my voice in the morning, Oh Lord. Each morning, I bring my requests to You and wait expectantly.” –Psalm 5:1-3

“Trust Me in your times of troubles and I will rescue you, and you will give Me glory.” –Psalm 50:15

“The Lord is close to all who call on Him, yes, to all who call on Him sincerely. He fulfills the desires of those who fear Him; He hears their cries for help and rescues them. The Lord protects all those who love Him but He destroys the wicked.” –Psalm 145:18-20

“I will answer them before they even call to Me. While they are still talking to Me about their needs, I will go ahead and answer their prayers.” –Isaiah 65:24

[Please click to pause or mute "my playlist" on the bottom of the page if you want to listen to this video]. God bless.

Bring Out The Best

“You are the salt of the earth. But what good is salt if it has lost its flavor? Can you make it useful again? It will be thrown out and trampled underfoot as worthless.” –Matthew 5:13 [Source:Life Application Bible].

I was cleaning the pantry and started sorting out the bottles of spices in the spice rack. I had noticed that some of them had been there so long, so I knew their flavor must have been gone. I started tossing out the bottles that were more than a year old. It would just be worthless to keep them as they wouldn’t do anything to make the food’s flavor more tasty. Even the bottle of salt looked old with the moisture that had collected inside so I tossed that one out, too.

Salt is known as a preservative that keeps stuff from going bad and as a flavoring for food. As Christians, we are like the salt. If we don’t make an effort to affect the world around us, we would be of little value to God. If we are like the world, we are just plain worthless.

As a preservative, we must be deeply concerned with society's well-being. We preserve cultural values and moral principles. We add taste and flavor to common life. By showing our quality of life with Jesus in the center of our lives, we give meaning to those without meaning or hope to one without hope.

Jesus said, "You are" the salt. It didn't sound like an option but more of a command as we choose to become His followers.

"So, are you the salt of the earth that brings out the best in upholding the Christian values in life ?"

This is a song I had composed on January 30, 2005, before visiting my ailing father, dying of cancer. Knowing that there were still many who didn’t know Christ’s love from back home, I asked the Lord to make my visit fruitful, not only to have time with my precious father, but also to have an opportunity to be used by the Lord with others who would come across my path, during that visit.

To You Lord

I want to be used by You
No matter where I go
All of my dreams and my plans
They’re all in Your loving hands

Chorus:

[And/Yes] I will worship You Lord, forever
To You, my life I surrender
Let Your will in my life be done
Take away all my fears with Your love

May I share with others what I know
About a special gift from You
That when a heart accepts Jesus, Your Son
Will live forever in Your Holy Land

[repeat Chorus]

Oh, Lord….forever…
Oh, Lord…I surrender…
To You, Lord….To You Lord…

Let's Focus on Jesus

My co-worker came back from having a break in our dining area at 3:00a.m. He told the charge nurse that he was approached by one of the inmate workers who served food to staff. He vented out about his frustrations regarding his physical problems that he felt was getting more severe.

I glanced at the name on the chart and realized I saw him earlier this month. I volunteered to see him so that way, I would know if he was truly weaker somewhere.

Coming through the Clinic’s door, he walked with the usual slight limp on the right leg [He had been claiming he had a stroke when he was 28 yrs. Old. But the last CT scan was negative]. Otherwise, I didn’t see any weakness or any signs of distress. When I was asking him some questions, he started getting teary-eyed and some tears finally flowed during my interrogation.

“How have you been? I had put you to be seen by the doctor after I saw you the last time. What happened then?”

“Nothing. He just checked this, checked that [as he motioned his hand in front of his face, so I felt his neurologic status was checked by the doctor] and still, nothing was done.”

“Sir, remember what I had told you, anytime that you feel that there is something getting worse, put a sick call slip so nurses can see you during sick calls.”

“But nothing is happening. I feel that the doctor is not doing anything. I think I am weaker on my right side. Can I have a job change or maybe not even work in the kitchen?” [as tears started falling this time].

“Honestly speaking, I didn’t notice any difference from the last time I saw you. However, that was my concern was if it was okay for you to work in kitchen. That was the main reason why I wanted the doctor to evaluate you. Your vital signs are okay, which is a good thing. I did notice something though, you seem to be more emotional.”

“Yes, I don’t know why.” [eyes turned more red and more tears fell].

“Are you frustrated because of this? And not knowing what steps the medical doctor is doing to help you with your condition?”

“Yup. You’re right. I feel like they’re not listening to me. So, that’s why I don’t want to put any other requests to be seen by you because they [doctor] won’t do anything anyway.”

“Sir, I can truly understand where you’re coming from. But let me tell you one thing. It’s not like the doctor is not doing anything. I had reviewed your chart before you came down here. I noticed that they did order a CT Scan. I can’t let you know when it’s gonna’ be. But not until the result is obtained, then, they can’t do anything further at this time. The doctor will base his treatment option depending on that result.”

“Oh, okay. Thanks for letting me know, Ma’am.”

“But would you like to be seen by mental health services if you feel like you’re more emotional. Are you depressed? Do you feel like hurting yourself?”

“Yes, I feel more sad but no! I don’t want to hurt myself [tears stopped at this time].”

“I prefer for you to still see the doctor today. I’m really concerned if you need to be working in kitchen because of the slight weakness in your right side. I’m also going to give you a 2-days off-work status. That way, you’re not working until the doctor has evaluated you. I will also put a request for a Mental Health Clinician to talk with you in your unit. I want to ask you to learn how to be more patient and have more faith in our doctor, okay? There are so many of you he’s seeing and following and yes, he is doing something to help you out. Sometimes, it just doesn’t happen in your time frame because the hospital is tied up, too with the appointments for CT scans or other tests that the doctor is requesting to better diagnose your condition.”

“Ma’am, thank you so much! Okay, I believe he’ll do something.”

“No! Not he will..” “He is…”





Aren’t we all like him? We tend to focus on our problems, needs, worries, fears and anxieties, instead of focusing on Jesus, ONLY on Jesus.

Sometimes, we think God doesn’t care for us when our prayers are not answered. We think He’s too busy to listen to our pleas. He is not interested with our requests. Have we forgotten that if God created this complex universe, won’t He be able to be involved with the many, many lives He created in the first place?

When we focus on Jesus, we will not be distracted with the cares of this world. Our faith will keep on growing. Our trusts will be stronger knowing that His promises made to us are worth-remembering. God doesn’t change. [“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever,” –Hebrews 13:8].

When we focus on Jesus, we believe that everything is under His control. It’s not enough that we just believe that He can handle our problems, but we must also believe that He knows what’s best for us, even if the answers do not seem to go with what we are hoping for.

“It’s not He will do something with what we go through….He is….”

So, let us “focus on Jesus”.

Persecution

The deputy escorted one inmate to be evaluated for an injury he sustained to his left eye. He was housed with another mate who has a different race than his.

There was some contusion on that area, marked by swelling and ecchymosis and a small superficial laceration was visible on the upper lid.

“What happened, Sir?”

“I don’t know, Ma’am. I guess I fell with my face flat on the floor.”

“Hmmm. Were you sleeping then woke up or was dizzy?”

“No, Ma’am.”

“If you fell flat on your face, Sir, just wondering why there was no injury to your nose which is more prominent than your eye areas? Are you sure that no one had hit you because if you let me know, I can ask for an appropriate help from the deputy.”

“I don’t know, Ma’am. ...I fell. That’s all.”

Despite the sign of trauma that someone had assaulted him, this inmate was scared to tell the truth. Most of the time, even after altercations, no one wants to say anything against the aggressor, for fear of more assault and a threat to their lives. They would rather stick to playing “dumb” and denials than confront that fear. They would rather take the torment inflicted on them.

After cleaning his wounds, the deputy ended up bringing him back to his cell with that particular cell mate. I prayed that there would be no further assault on him as he was returned to that confined space with the one who hit him. It was sad that maybe it was a “race issue”, that was why the “cellie” [cell mate] had socked his eye. I prayed he wouldn’t face any more torments from the other man, just because they differed with their race.

Jesus had warned His disciples, too of persecution as they lived a life following Him. [Life Application Bible, Matthew 10:16-23]. I think whatever applied to the disciples still holds true for us who choose to follow Jesus this day. When we share the Good News, not every one will welcome what we share.

Conflicts and disagreements sometimes arise between us who follow Him and those who don’t. Our faith might separate us even from friends and loved ones. Our faith will set us apart from them and others. We don’t have to neglect them or fight with them, but our commitment to the Lord is much more important. He should be our first priority. Jesus calls us to a higher mission than to find comfort in this life. Like that inmate, we may face hostility, but we must not be afraid for we have God on our side.

To follow Jesus means not being afraid when we face persecutions, to be identified with Him and to face suffering, even death for His sake.

He challenges us for a higher mission. So, what is He calling you for?

Jesus said in Matthew 10:28 –“Don’t be afraid of those who want to kill you. They can only kill your body; they cannot touch your soul. Fear only God, Who can destroy both soul and body in hell.”

Matthew 10:32 –“If anyone acknowledges Me publicly here on earth, I will openly acknowledge that person before My Father in heaven.”

Matthew 10:33 –“But if anyone denies Me here on earth, I will deny that person before My Father in heaven.”

Matthew 10:38, 39 –“If you refuse to take up your cross and follow Me, you are not worthy of being Mine. If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give it up for Me, you will find it.”

Please pray for all of our brothers and sisters in Christ being persecuted!

The Attacker

The sun was just peeking from the Eastern skies.

Out in the prison’s yard, some huge Sheriff’s buses were illuminated by the soft glow coming from the lights all over from the tall lamp posts. Their engines were turned on, warming up, before the buses would take the inmates to the different courts where they would have their trials.

Orange-uniformed men were lined up in pairs, joined together with handcuffs and chained, forming a long line. They already had their breakfast and had their morning medications prior to going to courts. Some were fidgeting, as they waited to board those buses.

All of a sudden, all hell broke loose! Two men were engaged in a fight, using weapons they made secretly for a while. Deputies called for help on the radio, both for custody back-up and medical staff, as well.

When the air was cleared and the other inmates were secured, one man was down on the floor. He sustained multiple gashes but two of them were deep. One cut was vertically etched from his left ear going down to the jaw line. The other dangerous cut was horizontal on his left neck, close to the jugular vein. Pool of blood dripped all over the floor. Holding his bleeding neck, he was pointing at the other inmate few feet away, being guarded by the other deputies.

The other man being accused was not hurt. There was no lacerations nor any other signs of trauma. He was obviously very agitated as he was being questioned by those deputies, while the medical staff started treating the other man on the floor. They cleaned the wounds and controlled the bleeding. That man was sent to the nearby hospital.

When the investigation was finalized, it turned out to be that the “downed man who was accusing the other inmate” was the attacker and the other one who didn’t have injury was the one attacked. The deputies found out that it was the second attempt to attack the unhurt man. Both attacks on him failed. He was well-prepared after the first attempt on him, that when the second attempt was done, he was able to defend himseld and ended up injuring his attacker severely.

[Source: Life Application Bible]:

We also have an “accuser of the brethren.” Satan and his army of demons are the enemies of God and of everything good.

“Because God’s children are human beings – made of flesh and blood – Jesus also became flesh and blood by being born in human form. For only as a human being could he die, and only by dying could he break the power of the Devil, who had the power of death.” –Hebrews 2:14

Because of what Jesus had done [dying on the cross], we, who live in constant fear of death shouldn’t be afraid anymore. Jesus had freed us from that fear so we can live for Him. When we belong to God, we know that death is only the portal that leads into “eternal life”. [“Thank You Lord!].

Paul warned us, too that we also battle against the evil forces of Satan, who is a vicious fighter. But to be able to withstand their attacks, we must depend on God’s strength and use every piece of His armor. We face an army whose goal is to defeat Christ’s church. When we believe in Christ, they become our enemies. They will try any device to turn us away from the Lord.

Fear not! For God has provided His supernatural power to defeat Satan and his army, through His Holy Spirit within us. So, arm yourselves with God’s armor.

Let us be strong in the Lord's mighty power. Let's put on His whole armor to resist the enemy's attacks: put on the sturdy belt of truth and the body armor of God's righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News, so that we are well-prepared. We will need faith in every battle as our shield to stop the fiery arrows aimed by Satan and his army. Let us put on salvation as our helmet, not forgetting the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God. Let's pray at all times, on every occasion in the power of the Holy Spirit. We must stay alert and be persistent in our prayers for all Christians everywhere. [Ephesians 6:10-18].

You Are Beautiful Blessing

Today, I was busy running errands and just went to check my emails and comments that I appreciate so much from blogging friends, when sister Heather surprised me and other great bloggers by creating this "blessing" and giving it to us. I thought that was just so sweet of her, to take her time to create this and give it away.

Sister Beautiful Self writes with so much passion for the Lord, and she deserves this blessing, too. I guarantee you'll be blessed by her posts, the way it always blesses me. Please visit her and know more about her. She is a beautiful person inside and out! Times that I need a lift, her timely funny posts crack me up! Her post about her "madre" when she introduced her to us touched me the most. I was so touched with the way she had shown her love and honored her mom.

Writing is one way I can give something back to the Lord and He surely blessed me with so many brothers and sisters in Christ who are so "on fire" to write for His glory.

I want to be able to share this blessing, courtesy of sister "Beautiful Self" to all of you who deserve it, too. You are all beautiful that you tirelessly share God's love, encouraging us and leading others to know His grace and mercy, through the words you write. So, please feel free to grab this blessing and share it, too with others you want to share it with.

I just want to thank the Lord for people like you I had met in such a short period of time. I'm so blessed and honored to have known you guys. To God be the glory always. May He bless you all and may we continue that "unity" that comes from His perfect love. God bless.

"The Patriotic" "Wait...Who?"

I kissed my husband “goodbye” as he walked out the front door. “Pray! Always pray!,” I added as I saw him nodding.

“I always do,” he replied. Sleepily, I walked back inside the house and ascended up the stairs. I said a prayer for him and the other officers working with him.

It was another day of rounding up criminal illegal aliens. They knew who to get. They knew where to go. Sacrificing their lives everyday, there was just no way telling of how these illegal residents would respond to their arrests. They could be hiding weapons. They might fight back.

My husband and his co-workers are not new to sacrificing their lives. They were once serving in the military to fight for this country’s freedom. And now, they still do. They want to protect this country because we love this country, its liberty, its equality. A country whose Founding Fathers attributed everything for God’s glory. To most of us, they are “patriotic”. Not until modern political liberalism had dominated the seats in this government.

Have you seen that video taken when Nancy Pelosi was addressing a group of both legal and undocumented residents in a church, calling them patriotic?

I just have a problem understanding that. Because an illegal alien is someone who is unlawfully residing in a country or without that country’s authorization. In simple words, “he or she broke the law, either by over staying after their visa had expired, came in without a visa, someone who came in with fraudulent documentations or maybe someone who committed a crime, was ordered to be deported but failed to leave.

Ms. Pelosi had said that “it’s not right for their doors to be kicked middle of the night and have a parent taken away.” The officers don’t just take them away. They leave one parent if there are no other adults to care for the young children. If it’s only one parent, Social Services is called to take care of these children. Sometimes, the adults are not taken away but are told directions of what to do next to make sure that the children are taken cared of first. That’s hard to watch your own government official bashing the law that should discourage unlawful entry or stay.

If someone who broke a law is called “patriotic”, what makes that of the officers from Homeland Security, the military, and other branches of government who sacrifice their lives to protect this country against criminals and terrorists?

The fact is that "modern liberalism" seems to cater to what will be good with their political agendas, rather than doing what is right in God's eyes. They even challenge the faith that had formed this nation of liberty. They see all religions as equal.

Liberalism can be like “the attitude that says diversity is always good, truth is negotiable, and every opinion is equally valid.”[The Case For Real Jesus by Lee Strobel, page 34].

“What has happened in modern liberalism is that the Christian ideals of liberty and equality have been divorced from their Christian context, emptied of their Christian meaning, and distorted into something they were never intended to be. In Christianity, God’s glory is the supreme good. In modern liberalism, liberty and equality have become the supreme goods – now, men are to be free – not to serve God, but to pursue their own desires. Now, men are to be equal not for the sake of justice, but in the interest of individuals and class envy.” [A Warning Against Modern Liberalism by Samuel E. Waldron; Truth for Eternity Ministries; 1998].

We need to pray for all of our leaders, starting with the President. Not only the Liberals but for everyone serving this beautiful country, "a nation that is under God" whose leaders seem to be turning away from Him.

We know that only if we humble ourselves and pray and seek the Lord’s face and turn from our wicked ways, then the Lord will hear us from heaven, forgive us our sins and heal our land [2 Chronicles 7:14]. Please don’t forget the ones sacrificing their lives every day for our freedom! For all the saints working for His Kingdom. For the true meaning of liberty that is from God! To Him be the glory!

Whether you agree or not, I respect your opinion, so feel free to comment. This was intended to request anyone who wants to pray for our leaders to turn to God. God bless.

Take Us Out Of The Dark

Ephesians 4:17,18 –“Live no longer as the ungodly do, for they are hopelessly confused. Their closed minds are full of darkness; they are far away from the life of God because they have shut their minds and hardened their hearts against Him.”

John 8:12 –Jesus said to the people, “I am the light of the world. If you follow Me, you won’t be stumbling through the darkness, because you will have the light that leads to life.”



A unit called and requested the medical staff to evaluate this particular inmate they observed kicking the door at times and had not slept all night long. The charge nurse gave me the chart. He was just incarcerated that day. Asthma was the only medical problem marked on his health screen form. There was no history of mental problems.

A few minutes later, a tall man walked up to the clinic. His exhausted face had puffy eyes, red and slightly teary. He had good eye contact. Except, he seemed to be feeling low. He walked with a steady gait, but with noted slouched shoulders. He slumped on one of the blue chairs we use for sick calls.

To make the story short, the man admitted that he was hearing voices telling him to hurt himself. He has a history of depression, too.

I placed him in Suicide Watch to have custody and medical staff monitor him 24 hours a day for his own safety. I uttered a prayer for this depressed soul. I knew then, that whatever he was going through, ONLY the LORD knew…

“When morning comes, he will get the help he needs when the Psychiatrist comes. For now, it’s very important that we monitor his safety and keep him from taking his own life,"I told the deputy.

That man was long gone but I kept on thinking how hard it must be for him to be in this dark place, the jail, where there seemed to be no hope if he finds out that he has to stay for a long time because of the crime he committed. But much more, for his mental state to be also in the dark. That was like being imprisoned twice, physically and mentally!

We are all like that man, walking in the valley of depression, of darkness, of spiritual death. We are all spiritually dead because of sins, and only GOD KNOWS.

From Chapter 37 in Ezekiel [Life Application Bible], the Spirit of the Lord took Ezekiel to a valley filled with bones. The bones were scattered everywhere. And the Lord asked him, “Son of man, can these bones become living people again?”

“O Sovereign Lord, You alone know the answer to that,” replied Ezekiel.

The Lord said, “Speak to the winds and say: This is what the Sovereign Lord says: Come, O breath, from the four winds! Breathe into dead bodies so that they may live again.”

From Ezekiel’s vision, it illustrated that a new life can be restored both physically and spiritually. The dry bones represented the Jews in captivity – scattered and dead. Ezekiel felt he was speaking to the dead as he preached to the exiles because they rarely responded to his message. But these bones responded! Just as God brought life to the dead bones, He brought life again to His spiritually dead people.

Because God knew our state of eternal death, He sent His One and Only Son to be the sacrifice. He took away our sins by dying on the cross. But we must let Him in, into our hearts by believing in what Jesus had done. He is our only hope to restore our broken relationship with the Father, no one else.

If you are suffering from depression, please visit Brother Peter Stone’s site, a man who once walked in the valley of depression. But because of God’s grace, he managed to get out of the valley and eventually, he emerged on top! To God be the glory!

For those of you feeling there’s no more hope, let this post recommend you to be seen by Jesus! He knows what’s best for you to stop you from your heartaches and pains. Let His Light shine in the dark areas of your life. Please click on “Roman Road to Salvation” on my side bar to know how to accept Jesus into your life and live a life that will be full of meaning and hope. Just have faith and believe! We can have clarity and knowledge that comes from the Lord!

Have It To The Full

He turned his head again, with a smirky smile on his face. As if trying to tell me that “he got me!” But I continued to walk down that corridor, unfazed. I was about to start my shift. I was about to go to my work with a joyful heart, no matter what would come my way throughout the night…

I have been working nights for 19 years now. By God’s grace, when I sustained a painful neck injury from the hospital I used to work with, He brought me to a correctional facility, right when I was at the lowest point of my life.

To make a long story short, God did open this door of even a better and bigger opportunity. As soon as I started working in a detention facility, my neck pain had subsided. I didn’t need to lift patients. I didn’t have to deal with heavy Orthopedic kind of appliances like tractions, CPM’s [Continuous Passive Movement machine that exercises those newly-replaced knee joints], and others.

I’m not trying to say that the task is easier. It is not. Here, it’s a different kind of challenge to our Nursing abilities to assess, intervene and immediately treat illnesses or emergencies with the best option that is available.

I swiped my entry card and the electric-controlled gate swung open as I moved forward and found a great parking spot closer to the smaller gates where staff go in and out. Turning off my engine, I talked to the Lord, as I always do every night before going inside the detention facility. “Lord, I don’t know what will happen tonight. But You do. If it’s not too much to ask of You, may we have a quiet night? Lord, I ask for Your protection, for You to be my Shield. Please control my mouth and my tongue and my heart, that whatever I think or say will be pleasing to You. Lord, guide me with Your divine wisdom and give me the discernment, to do everything for Your glory! Use me as Your instrument in helping those who are still lost to find Your love and grace, through me. I thank You Lord for the peace and joy that You give me, despite me going into that dark place, I have nothing to be afraid of, knowing You are there with me.”

I opened the side door, grabbed my transparent bag that housed my little notes, stethoscopes and other things I use for work. With the other hand, I grabbed the see-through plastic bag that contained my sandwich, bottled water and a piece of fruit. I prefer to bring my food from home though we can order any food we want from our ODR [Officer Dining Room].

Swiping my card at every entry points, I reached “North Control” at the bottom part of this facility. It would be just a few steps away from my destination, the facility’s Clinic. I glanced at my watch. It was 11:25 p.m. I got 5 minutes to go before I was about to start my shift. My feet started rushing toward the door that led to the Infirmary.

About 2 feet away, that was when an inmate worker [dressed up in blues], came out of the door. Most of the time, if any inmate would come out, they patiently would wait for me or other staff and would hold the door open for us to go through. Not this particular inmate. He saw me, swung the metal door wide open so that he could let it close with a loud bang [if not on my face, at least, near my face!]. Bam! And it did! He saw me approaching with a couple of bags, one on each of my hand. It was obvious, I didn’t have an extra hand to open that heavy door.

That was when he looked, perhaps to see the kind of reaction his behavior would illicit from me, with that wide smirk, even without my eyeglasses, I would have seen from a distance. He was just so full of it! Full of whatever intentions he had to make me become angry, unhappy, intimidated or be afraid.

“Good night, “ I gently uttered as I smiled and acknowledged his presence. The smile on his face went away. He was dumbfounded. He didn’t expect that. I felt he wanted an angry kind of response. He stopped looking behind him [where I was]. He turned his head to its normal position, bowed his head, and his steps that were heavy as if intentionally done to cause an uproar became softer, softer as he headed down to the unit where he was housed. He never dared look behind him again. I didn’t hear the steps anymore and that body disappeared when the unit let him in.

He didn’t get me, but it is God’s love through me that got him! I might not know what he would still be thinking when he laid down on his bunk in his cell. I was not sure if a simple act of kindness thrown at his rudeness would make him think of what he just did. But one thing was for sure, he was not able to take my “joy” away. He was not able to intimidate me. He was not able to ruin my night!

The door from Infirmary swung open, too and my co-worker had popped it open upon seeing me by the door. I walked in, still with this unexplainable joy despite of what I had just experienced coming from a rude human being. No! My heart is too happy to notice those little annoyances. My heart will always rejoice, despite knowing that I’m working in a dark place where there are too many souls in need of the Light.

“Our unseen enemies are always lurking too, to seek, kill and destroy God’s children’s purpose for the Lord, their happiness, their joy. But no! They won’t succeed. For our God came here to give us lives and have it to the full!” "To the full" and don’t you Christian brothers and sisters forget that! God’s love and other blessings poured into our hearts until it overflows!!! “WE HAVE IT TO THE FULL!”

Who Am I?

“If you’re having chest pain, you wouldn’t be able to make it down here from your unit,” hollered one nurse to a female inmate who requested to be seen middle of the night.

Peering through the glass partition window, the inmate started getting upset and became belligerent to that nurse.

“If you are going to be upset like that, then sit over there and wait until I call you, " retorted the nurse.

While sitting on one of the plastic chairs in the waiting area, the deputy came, not knowing what happened, he just heard the last part when the inmate was angry at the nurse and was saying profanities.

“Don’t come here if you’re gonna’ have that kind of attitude. It doesn’t work here,” yelled the deputy.

“Sir, it’s not me! It’s those nurses. They don’t seem to care, " more profanities came out of her loud mouth. She heard two nurses laughing as they talked and perhaps, felt like they were talking and laughing at her.

“Rosel, do you mind seeing this inmate?,” requested the charge nurse, knowing that there was already an air of animosity between that inmate and the other nurse who initially saw her when the inmate walked into the clinic.

“Not at all, " I said.

“You’re gonna’ be good with her?”

“I’m always good with them,” as I smiled softly.

I motioned that inmate to go through the door that led to the inner part of the Infirmary where we house our gadgets to check for their vital signs. The deputy stood nearby to give me protection as he thought that the inmate has an unpredictable behavior and could be dangerous to staff.

Speaking softly and gently, I asked her, “ I heard you were having chest pain? Since what time? How bad? What kind? And do you have any heart condition that I need to know?”

Inmate: “I couldn’t sleep. My heart feels like it’s racing. It’s hard to breathe. I’m not really having chest pain, more of discomfort like it’s tight.”

“Ma’am, your blood pressure is normal. Except your pulse is high at 109. Your lung sounds are clear and you have no fever. May I ask you if you have a history of anxiety or even claustrophobia?”

Inmate: “You’re right. I do have panic attacks sometimes and it does feel like that. No! I’m not scared of small spaces.”

“Well, then [after doing an EKG to read the electrical activity of her heart], your EKG is normal. I would advise you to just try to relax. I can’t answer for the things that go around here. But I would request you to remain patient and try to calm down when you have episodes of panic like that. I saw that the Psychiatrist had already prescribed you some medicine for it. If you feel like they are not working or maybe not getting enough effects, you may always put a sick call request to see us.”

Inmate: “Thank you so much. I feel so much better now. Can I tell you something? You seem to be the only one nice around here. You never called me names. You never accused me that I was just lying. Thank you and I just want you to know that.”

I just smiled at her and reassured her, motioned for her to go back to the waiting area and rest until she felt much better. As soon as she closed the door, she had asked me if she could go back to her unit then as she felt more relaxed and able to breathe better. I gave her “pass” and out she went to the female side, steady gait and with a smile on her face.

I know….I treated her in a respectful way. But who am I to judge her? Who am I to yell at her and expect for her to change her bad behavior? Who am I to assume that she was just lying when I don’t see the true intentions of her heart?

I was once like her. Treated with ignorance, with rejection, with disrespect by this world. Laughed at, scorned at, and judged. Discouraged, unneeded, unheeded, and unaccepted sometimes. Broken and battered by the storms of life yet there was no one willing to stand by me.





Except for the One Who truly understood and saw my heart. He was the first to go through all those painful scorns and rejection by this world. No wonder why He understood what I had gone through…He had been there…

He treated me with an out-of-this-world compassion, of love, of mercy and of forgiveness. He changed my heart. I had no other wish but to conform to His likeness when I received His faithful love.

Who am I that even when I rejected Him, He continued to offer me His friendship and gift of salvation? Who am I that I was His enemy, yet He died for me and called me His friend when I finally trusted Him?

“Who am I to You, Oh Lord?” He spoke to my heart:

"You are My child and I am your Father."


"And I love you with an everlasting love."




Thanks for visiting me and I love you all with the love that comes from the Lord. Turn up that volume of yours and feel the faithful love that comes from the lyrics of this great song. Bask in the love from the One Who's always waiting for all of us to love Him back and acknowledge Him into our lives. How long are you going to keep REJECTING the One Who hasn't done you any wrong except to love you from the start?

Happy Mother's Day!

Exodus 20:12 -"Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you."

Proverbs 1:8 -"Listen, my son, to your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching."

Proverbs 31:30 -"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised."


My mother had passed away on December 28, 2000 after suffering from a stroke. She was a dressmaker who had sewn dresses with so much passion. She was also our "father" during those times that my dear father was away sailing as a Radio Operator in Greek shipping vessels.

She would wake up early in the morning to start sewing dresses until late at night. How adeptly she would cut the clothing material with precision and would create a masterpiece everytime! Much to her customers' satisfaction!

She loved going to church. All the hardships we went through as a family, she always would pour her heartaches to the Lord. She had taught me to grow up having that "reverential fear" to the Lord. Living in a country with Catholicism as the dominant religion, she went to church, guarded with the rosary beads, praying all the time or at our home, when she was done with her work. She gave her heart to the Lord in His perfect time. If she has compassion before, the more she had after surrendering to the Lord. The people who had hurt her, God made her to have a loving heart, instead of those hurt!

Yes, that's my mother, the Proverbs 31 woman who made many wonderful memories with her children. Memories that she had sewn to become masterpieces that we carry in our hearts even to this day that she's not here physically with us.

My brothers and I were so blessed to have "one of the best MOMs" here in this world. I miss my mother every day! But thanks be to God for His wonderful promise of eternal life, I know our love doesn't end here. Thanks be to God because of that, I have this hope I cling to, that we will reunite and that I will be able to hug her again and kiss her, the way she hugged and kissed me...

I was looking for the poems I had written for her which became my outlet to ease the loneliness I had after she went home to the Lord. Instead, I found this "book marker" my son had given to me when he was only 6 years old [he's 14 now] on a Mother's Day. It still brings me smiles and warms my heart every time...

front of the book marker:

back of the book marker:

God has given us many kinds of relationships: husband and wife, best friends, families, etc. But there is just something special about the bond of love shared between a "mother and her child".

God gave us "mothers" to help us or guide us, her children, grow into maturity as we live the lives God had given us in the first place. As children, we learn so much from the hearts of our mothers that endure, hearts that understand, hearts that do not see faults and are always ever forgiving, hearts that believe in our strengths and disregard the weaknesses, and hearts that truly love her children for who they are. Mothers are like a "big band-aid dressing" that just covers all the "boo-boo's" in life we sustain. At times of triumphs and successes, they are our personal "cheering squad".

I can only hope and pray that with the guidance I need to impart with my child, that he also sees God's love and wisdom through me.

So, "Happy Mother's Day" to all of you wonderful "Moms" out there! And I'm not only talking about mothers who have conceived children. I know some who don't have kids but have motherly instincts in them. I consider them as "mothers", too because I think it's not our physical achievements of giving births to babies that should qualify but of womens' hearts' abilities to love as mothers. So I remember you, as well. It takes a very unique and special person to become a "mother". Because it's never easy. But to those who commit their motherly instincts with the Lord, He will always direct your steps.

Don't take your mothers for granted. Every day is precious while they are here with you. Say "I love you", hug them, kiss them, not only on Mother's Day but every time you have an opportunity. Same thing with your children. Treat them well and always make the most of everything with them because they will always look up to you as their mothers.

This is a song I had written for my child on August 2004. As I was writing it, I remembered how the Lord has loved us first. It felt like He was singing it to me, the Author of love. No wonder that we, mothers, can learn so much from Him when we commit our ways to Him, even our ways of nurturing our children with an unconditional love.

1 Corinthians 16:14 -:Let all that you do be done with love."

Let All That We Do

You came into my life

The joy that you bring overwhelms me

It's not easy to find our way

When we face the trials that come every day

Chorus:

Let's remember, now and forever

Let all that we do be done in love

We are all loved first by God above

Let all that we do come from our hearts


As we look at uncertain times

We will be strong, we will be fine

For in perfect love, there'll be no fear

Our love will grow year after years

[repeat Chorus]

Let all that we do be done with love........be done with love......

RRRS 8/11/04