At The Bottom Of The Wheel

"The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life, and he who wins souls is wise." - Proverbs 11:30 (NIV)


I saw the frustrations on his face. A puzzled appearance the way his brows arched. He looked at his partner who had the same face. My son was playing tennis yesterday and they were ahead by 3 points to nothing. All of a sudden as if the wind blew against them, they started losing.

“Mom, I don’t know what happened,” he whispered as he gave me a hug and saw me watching his matches.

“That’ s okay. You tried your best and that’s what’s important, same with your partner,” I replied and hugged him tight.

The match between the 2 teams lasted longer than expected. And the whole team from my son's school lost by 2 points margin.

This morning, as I talked with my son before going to school, I reminded him not to be discouraged. There are times when we are at the bottom of the wheel. Some days, we are on top. But it is in those times of being low when we are pushed to our limits, testing our patience and endurance.

“When you lose, you are being put under a lot of pressure,” I stated. “But you must never quit. How much pressure can you take?” I asked him.

He was quiet, contemplating.

“I’ll keep trying, Mom. And I do pray.”

“Okay, then, keep praying anyway.  Pray for your partner, for the whole team and even for the other team. You know that with His strength, you can do it!”

I’m at the bottom of the wheel, too. As I fight against some people in power. I know that what they had been saying and doing is not right. But it’s not my time yet to say anything. For now, I’m learning to endure. It’s too much pressure and I feel like being crushed at the bottom. But I must learn how to endure, like what I tell my son. I know because he’s watching me, too. And as he watches me, so it is with others around us.

For life is not about winning or losing tennis matches. It’s not about me being right at work. Life is about winning souls for Christ. Souls who are watching and reading our character. Souls who are observing how we deal with stress and tremendous pressure. Souls who are hearing how we speak about things. We grow in character because He promises to be there during our times of trials.
 

" ⁷ But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. ⁸ We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; ⁹ persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. ¹⁰ We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. ¹¹ For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. ¹² So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you." - 2 Corinthians 4:7-12 (NIV)

It's Your Choice

“Maybe the atheist cannot find God for the same reason a thief cannot find a policeman.”  ~Author Unknown

“Do I have a choice?” an angry female inmate replied back at me. I asked her if I may take her blood pressure and pulse.

I was trying to help the other nurse who was getting his supplies to clean her left wrist, visible with superficial cuts she did to herself with a razor blade she managed to remove from her shaver. Couple of days ago, she was just placed on Suicide Watch except, the Mental Health Doctor did not want to give her any medications. I didn’t know the reason but usually, when the Psych Doctor did something like that, it meant that the inmate was just playing a game and just wanted something…Just to get something. His or her way.

Prior to sitting down, a struggle occurred between her and two female deputies from her unit, as our own Infirmary Deputy had joined in to control her combative behavior. I peeked through the door and saw this young female. Looking at the prior history, she was already in and out of the prison many, many times. For such a young age, that was sad.

“Yes, you do!” I told her when she gave me that nasty reply.

“You have the right to refuse and I want to make sure you’re aware of that!” I added.

She grew quiet as if she was contemplating of what she needed to do next.

“Well, then, I don’t want you to take my blood pressure,” she replied.

“That’s all you needed to say,” I told her as I looked her straight into her eyes. “Simple as that. You don’t need to be angry. You need to relax.”

She was quiet the whole time and became cooperative with the male nurse who started cleaning her left wrist and had applied a dab of antibiotic ointment over the superficial cuts. He wrapped it neatly with a gauze and then, she was sent to Suicide Watch to be monitored until she was to be evaluated again by the Mental Health Doctor.

If there is one thing that God cannot do, it is He can’t force anyone to love Him. It is our choice to either believe in Him or not. It is our choice to love Him or not. But He had shown His choice from the start…He loved us all first. Do you believe and love Him?

²³ Search me, God, and know my heart;
   test me and know my anxious thoughts.
²⁴ See if there is any offensive way in me,
   and lead me in the way everlasting. - Psalm 139:23, 24 (NIV)

No Doubt!

How many times I’ve been hurt before? My trust broken? And it’s happening again at my workplace. It’s so ironic that we are working as a part of law enforcement, yet, some people in power don’t seem to care to break the law in order to fulfill their own desires. In order to satisfy their own intentions.

My broken heart, Someone did rescue. The only Healer. The only Mender. The only One Who gives hope. The only One Who remains faithful. The only One Who accepts and loves me (any one of us) for who I am we are.

I used to wonder. I used to have doubts of His existence. But He remained faithful. Day after day. Month after months. Year after years. He has proven and has shown that what’s impossible for me is not for Him. Doubt…No! I never doubt His power. I never doubt that He is risen. I never doubt that He is the Son of God. Because when I doubt myself, He always believed in me. The God Who is able.

Do you believe in Jesus?

Run With Endurance

“In the same way, you who are younger, submit yourselves to your elders. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because,
   “God opposes the proud
   but shows favor to the humble.”
 6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. 7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 8 Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 9 Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings. 10 And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. 11 To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.“
- 1 Peter 5:5-10 (NIV)


The message was clear yesterday. I was being offered a great option to have hope and keep my job. My heart leaped for joy as I heard it but sadness and frustration followed right away and overwhelmed the first reaction.

Only God can give any one of us His gift of discernment. What this world says will not be the same as what God says.

That offer sounded true….but in reality, it was deceptive.

It gave hope…in reality, offered none.

It sounded possible to be done…in reality, it didn’t give me enough room to make decisions.

Along with that message was an email which sounded I ignored her phone calls. In reality, she never responded to my emails when I asked why I was always told after the fact happened.

Our spiritual enemy does the same.

Where he offers the most beautiful things, in reality is offering the worst.

Where he approaches with light, in reality, mimics the one true Light.

Where he offers hope and restoration, in reality, wants destruction.


The devil gets around but he is not omnipresent.

He is smart but not omniscient.

He is powerful but not omnipotent.

He is a master schemer, tempter and deceiver. He wants to only “steal, kill and destroy.”

As a child of God, I choose to stand firm in my faith.


I am not alone in my trials.


I know that all of these troubles are but for a moment.


I know that God will make all things right.


I know I have victory and He deserves all the praise and glory.


I know that despite the difficulties I encounter in this race I’m in, I know He is faithful to be by my side to help me finish this journey.


“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.” - Hebrews 12:1,2 (ESV)



In this journey we are all in, we all start at first...But it's not about starting that is the most important and crucial in any race. It is "being able to finish." There are times when those moments come, when we feel that we can't go on any farther, any longer. But in a journey of faith, we see with our hearts. We believe "by not seeing." And we have a heavenly Father we can't see with our eyes Who is helping us endure and win this race...So....we must never give up. Let us all run with endurance. Thank You Lord for Your faithfulness, love, grace and mercy.