It's Your Choice

“Maybe the atheist cannot find God for the same reason a thief cannot find a policeman.”  ~Author Unknown

“Do I have a choice?” an angry female inmate replied back at me. I asked her if I may take her blood pressure and pulse.

I was trying to help the other nurse who was getting his supplies to clean her left wrist, visible with superficial cuts she did to herself with a razor blade she managed to remove from her shaver. Couple of days ago, she was just placed on Suicide Watch except, the Mental Health Doctor did not want to give her any medications. I didn’t know the reason but usually, when the Psych Doctor did something like that, it meant that the inmate was just playing a game and just wanted something…Just to get something. His or her way.

Prior to sitting down, a struggle occurred between her and two female deputies from her unit, as our own Infirmary Deputy had joined in to control her combative behavior. I peeked through the door and saw this young female. Looking at the prior history, she was already in and out of the prison many, many times. For such a young age, that was sad.

“Yes, you do!” I told her when she gave me that nasty reply.

“You have the right to refuse and I want to make sure you’re aware of that!” I added.

She grew quiet as if she was contemplating of what she needed to do next.

“Well, then, I don’t want you to take my blood pressure,” she replied.

“That’s all you needed to say,” I told her as I looked her straight into her eyes. “Simple as that. You don’t need to be angry. You need to relax.”

She was quiet the whole time and became cooperative with the male nurse who started cleaning her left wrist and had applied a dab of antibiotic ointment over the superficial cuts. He wrapped it neatly with a gauze and then, she was sent to Suicide Watch to be monitored until she was to be evaluated again by the Mental Health Doctor.

If there is one thing that God cannot do, it is He can’t force anyone to love Him. It is our choice to either believe in Him or not. It is our choice to love Him or not. But He had shown His choice from the start…He loved us all first. Do you believe and love Him?

²³ Search me, God, and know my heart;
   test me and know my anxious thoughts.
²⁴ See if there is any offensive way in me,
   and lead me in the way everlasting. - Psalm 139:23, 24 (NIV)