Hoping As I Wait

“Thank You Lord!” I softly whispered as I noticed how many beautiful flowers had remained clinging on our cherry tree by the side yard. I prayed for these flowers to remain steadfast as the strong gusts of wind beat down upon them yesterday. I was sad for those beautiful pink hues that I ended up sweeping on the ground.

My husband planted this dwarf cherry tree, along with other fruit trees and last year, we were only able to harvest only a handful because of the same problem. The sudden gusts of wind always detached those beautiful flowers.

If these remaining flowers I was marveling at this morning would be able to make it, I was excited already, knowing that its fruits were amazingly sweet, ripened in its own natural process. We never used fertilizer.

“Why did you give my mom so much? These were the only ones you harvested,” asked a dear friend when I gave them that handful last year for them to enjoy.

“That’s okay. I wanted to share it with both of you because your mom did the same for me. She gave me so many figs from your tree. I enjoyed them all.”

At this stage of my life’s journey where I’m being battered by strong winds of wrong accusations and evil desires, I pray that I will cling more to the Vine. Even if I know that He promised an undeserved destination, I know that this process of waiting in my life’s journey is as important to the Lord. Going through those strong gusts of trials enable me to remain humble, to be tested and for my heart to reveal what is truly inside. All I want is to remain clinging ever closer to the Vine and be tested, be humbled, be poured out, and my heart emptied so that all of me: heart, soul, and mind would always be oriented to God. Someday, I hope  my fruits will be sweet and  is always a pleasing sacrifice offered to God, able to withstand the trials in this difficult journey. I know He is going through these trials with me.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” ~ John 16:33 (NIV)

I digested every lyric of this song as my church family sang in unison. I closed my eyes and this song “Everlasting God” (by Brenton Brown) spoke truth to where I am in my life. We all go through that needed “waiting process” in our life’s journeys. Sometimes, the answers might not come quick. Sometimes, we wonder where God is in all that waiting period. Even the Psalmist in Psalm 33:20 said, “We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield.” (NIV).

Charles Spurgeon explained it:

Verse 20. Our soul waits for the Lord. Here the godly avow their reliance upon him whom the Psalm extols. To wait is a great lesson. To be quiet in expectation, patient in hope, single in confidence, is one of the bright attainments of a Christian. Our soul, our life, must hang upon God; we are not to trust him with a few gewgaws, but with all we have and are. He is our help and our shield. Our help in labor, our shield in danger. The Lord answers all things to his people. He is their all in all. Note the three "ours" in the text. These holdfast words are precious. Personal possession makes the Christian man; all else is mere talk.”

If you are going through a difficult time in your life’s journey, let us hold on more so with His faithful love and true promises. I choose to wait as I hope in the Lord, knowing He is the true Source of strength and everything else I need to be able to successfully finish my life’s journey.

We just never know...What difficulty we are going through today may turn up to encourage others needing that someday. Even if that's all we can offer to them.

Turn up your volume and let us sing to our good God!!!

Everlasting God (by Benton Brown; sang by Chris Tomlin):

Learning To Wait

“Teach me your way, LORD;
lead me in a straight path
because of my oppressors.


Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes,
for false witnesses rise up against me,
spouting malicious accusations.
I remain confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the LORD
in the land of the living.


Wait for the LORD;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD.
~ Psalm 27:11-14 (NIV)


This week is the beginning of a waiting process as I anticipate the start of my silent defense. I just know that if God is taking away something good, then, He must have planned something better for me. If He is calling me to suffer, it is not because He wants me to suffer but to learn to endure. If some things are being taken away, these things of the world are better replaced with those things that have eternal gain.

The way He took me from what I was comfortable doing at the hospital after working almost 10 years there, and He placed me in the darker walls, only had me learn to have more faith and become obedient. It seemed tougher. It seemed scary. It seemed a hard challenge. But it wasn’t.

In the prison, I learned to grow more spiritually. I learned to rely more on His weapons and His strength. Despite the neck injury I sustained working at the hospital, my pain was lessened. Financially, He gave me more and He rescued me from the debts that mounted after those many days of not being able to work in the hospital because of my severe pain.

I had to wait during that transition from being an Orthopedic Nurse to a Correctional Nurse. I had to learn patience. I had to trust more and rely more on God’s perfect timing, not mine. True enough, He refreshed me. He renewed me. He strengthened me.

As I face a tough battle now, I know that whatever happens, it’s because He already planned ahead. In this long process, I know I have to learn to be patient again. Someday, I know it would be worth it. God already granted His children His victory. And in that, I will rejoice.

Thank you for all of your loving comments, continued prayers and encouragement. God bless you all.

My Maker

“The Sovereign LORD has given me a well-instructed tongue, to know the word that sustains the weary. He wakens me morning by morning, wakens my ear to listen like one being instructed.  The Sovereign LORD has opened my ears; I have not been rebellious, I have not turned away.
I offered my back to those who beat me, my cheeks to those who pulled out my beard; I did not hide my face from mocking and spitting. Because the Sovereign LORD helps me, I will not be disgraced. Therefore have I set my face like flint, and I know I will not be put to shame. He who vindicates me is near. Who then will bring charges against me? Let us face each other! Who is my accuser? Let him confront me!
It is the Sovereign LORD who helps me.
   Who will condemn me?
They will all wear out like a garment;
   the moths will eat them up.” – Isaiah 50:4-9 (NIV 2011)

“Kristian, come here,” I called out as my son was coming down the stairs to prepare to go to school. We were preparing ourselves for our daily morning prayers before parting ways.

“I want you to etch His Word into your heart,” I pointed to a specific page in the Holy Bible.

“And don’t forget that you can speak it into yourself and pray it and it is His Word. His Word does not fade. It lasts forever…” I explained.

“You know that mommy is going through a tough battle but you never see me scared. It’s not because of my own strength. It’s because I rely on His wonderful and faithful promises. I want you to understand that.”

“Yes, mom,” he replied as he glanced at the specific part of the Bible I showed.

“Isaiah 54:17 says that “No weapons turned against you will succeed. And everyone who lies in court will be brought to justice…”

“So, you can pray if you are facing any accusations or any threats, “No weapons formed against me shall succeed. And anyone who lies will be brought to justice.”

“Isn’t that a wonderful promise from our Lord?”

“Yes, mom,” he paused as he slowly read His faithful promise. He took my hands and closed our eyes and I heard him slowly led me into prayers. He prayed for all he loves and he prayed specifically for each person’s needs. I heard him asked for forgiveness and I heard him thanked the Lord.

“Yes…Don’t forget to thank Him for anything, whether big or small,” I often reminded my son.

I learned that because He had been good to me. He remains good to me. With what I am facing at my work doesn’t concerned me. It’s because I have Him on my side. I know that He knows what’s best for me no matter what goes on in my life. He always has the best interest for me. Even if the enemies desire to hurt me in any possible way, He reminds me to be forgiving.

When Peter asked Jesus, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?”

Yet Jesus replied, “No! Seventy times seven!” (Matthew 18:21-22)

Because His forgiveness has no limit. As a Father, He wants His children to learn it from Him. I want to learn it from Him. I want my child to learn it from Him. I know that His plans are already made for me. He is my Maker. The One Who promised to fight for His people.

Our Maker does not reject anyone who turns to Him. It is us who tend to reject God. Are you still rejecting God?

My Savior

“Our deepest calling is not to grow in our knowledge of God. It is to make disciples. Our knowledge will grow -- the Holy Spirit, Jesus promised, will guide us into all truth. But that's not our calling, it is His. Our calling is to prepare the world for Christ's return. The world is not ready yet. And so, we go about introducing a dying world to the Savior of Life. Anything we do toward our own growth must be toward that end.” - Jeffrey Bryant

Time felt it stood still behind that closed-door meeting. Facing three of them, two of which I didn’t have the knowledge of, they all talked amongst themselves. Aware of the specific request I did as the new memo came out, they acted as if they were there to help. All the wrong accusations poured in. Their planned answer to my request were written down on a specific form, appearing as if they would try to do their best to help me find what was best. Except the words written did not match what was spoken.

Thinking they would intimidate me, they tried to discourage me instead by instilling fear of what could lie ahead for my future. I stood silent, my eyes meeting their gaze that couldn’t stay to meet with mine for so long. Three against one. They felt power in their number. But they didn’t know something about me. I wasn’t alone. The whole time, Someone was with me Who saw and heard all the accusations, all the lies, and all their attacks that wanted to stop His work in me.

Discouragement…Fear…It’s always the enemies’ tactics to stop the work of God’s children. ("For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God's law; indeed, it cannot." - Romans 8:7). Just like what I’m facing at this time. But they will not be successful. I will continue to trust in His faithful love and promises. I know He is always with me. He is our Savior after all. He loves to save.

He finds the lost. He strengthens the weak. He frees the captives. He forgives not once but many, many times those who turn back to Him. He protects against enemies’ attacks. He gives hope and a future to those who loves Him. He gives eternal life to those who believes in Him. He promises to finish the work He starts in each believer’s life. He restores what’s broken.

The path that leads to Him is narrow. It is never easy. There are lots to overcome. But He promised that He is there walking with anyone who truly trusts and believes in Him. Injustices seem to prevail nowadays. We often ask, “Where are You, God?” The answer might not come quick. But it doesn’t mean He doesn’t hear. All actions produce an outcome. And so evil things committed will reap consequences and will not slip past God’s judgment. For everything happens in His perfect time.

We serve God Who is not passive. And I know by His grace, my own time to defend myself will come. They will be discouraged for their intentions behind that door will be exposed into His light. They will fear because they will realize how foolish their wisdom is compared to that of God's. As I pray, I needed to go into actions. I just pray that I won't miss His plan on this.

This battle I'm in is a long process. But I would rather remain on His side. He is the only Savior Whose promises I can rely on. No promises put out on the table in front of me could be trusted. They were immediately broken because of their evil desires. But they would never discourage nor scare me. Because of my Savior Who continues to love, protect, save, bless and empowers me. I know….because He is in me…
"And my spirit rejoices in God my Savior," - Luke 1:47