True Courage

Swamped by a horde of incoming newly-arrested bodies, I volunteered to help the Intake Nurse as we just got done with all the work in the Infirmary. A female Highway Patrol ordered her arrestee to sit on the plastic chair inside the Intake Nurse’s small clinic so we both could start screening him, health-wise.

He was slightly drunk.Seeing the flashing lights behind him, he made the crucial decision to step more on the gas pedal. Cruising through many streets at a very high speed, his car went through a median. He had laceration on two of his fingers on his left hand. They were cut so deep from the accident, he almost lost his fingers. It was fortunate he didn’t break a bone nor sustained a massive head injury. He had a female passenger being booked on the other side of the prison’s Intake.

“Sorry,” I uttered. “I can’t let you have that metal stabilizer on your fingers though I know your fingers needed to be immobilized. No one is just allowed to keep any metal thing here while incarcerated,” I explained.

“I understand, Ma’am,” he politely responded.

“What are we going to do?” asked the other nurse.

“It’s okay.” I replied. Stepping back toward the sink where a glass jar housed a few wooden tongue blades, I got two and broke them in half, leaving a length that corresponds to his fingers’. I applied it carefully after seeing him in pain and secured it with a gauze and tape. It worked about the same purpose as that metal immobilizer. To his relief.

As the other nurse was summoned to screen the other arrestee, the female Officer busy writing within a distance, I helped him take out his right arm from the long sleeve covering it so I could take a blood pressure reading.

There it was, I saw a beautiful font tattooed on his mid-forearm that spelled “J E S S E”.

“Who’s Jesse?” “You?”

“My son, Ma’am.”

“How old?”

“Only 2.”

Silence…I looked at him eye to eye.

“Sir, I usually try not to say anything.” (Knowing it was only him and I at that time, I wanted to take the opportunity to talk with the man as if he was my relative and not think of him as an arrestee).

“I hope that your son means a lot to you…”

He smiled as if he knew where the conversation was going.

“I love him so much,” he abruptly answered.

“Then, if you do, think about him always. Carry him in your heart. So, when you have to make decisions, he will always be a part of that decision. And if he truly is a part of that decision, then, hopefully, you will choose to take the right move, not the bad one. Because of Jesse…”

He was whisked away by the female Officer. He turned around and thanked me and gave me a smile. Softly, he whispered, “I will, Ma’am. Thank you.”

After being booked, I saw he would remain incarcerated for a long time because of all the violations he did. Jesse would grow up in that long amount of time. But I prayed for him. That it would never be too late to make that change. For him and Jesse.

In this life, true courage is not climbing the tallest mountain. It is not about sailing many seas. True courage is admitting you’re wrong and you’re truly sorry for it. True courage is knowing you are a sinner, just like everyone else and with true repentance, knees are bent and tears are shed as the heart cries for forgiveness from one, true God. And to Him, a broken heart and a contrite spirit is offered at His feet.

“Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.”
~ 1 Peter 5:6 (NIV)

"The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God." - Psalm 51:17 (NLT)

He Showed His Love

They seemed so nice as one by one, they walked into the Clinic and said “Good Morning” to anyone who crossed their paths. Among them were those few whose smiles were so wide and seemed they were bringing such gladness into the start of this day but I had deciphered their inner beauty long time ago. What the outside showed was different from their inner attitudes and motivations displayed.

“Actions speak louder than words…”

“Good morning,” this one particular boss uttered to me as she saw me from a distance.

I nodded to acknowledge her greeting but without any words. Nothing came out of my mouth as my brain processed a greeting deprived of love? Like what Paul said, we can speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but without love we will be like a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. (1 Corinthians 13:1).

“Actions speak louder than words…”

People can speak with great eloquence and such great wisdom but without love, it will not mean anything.

“Actions speak louder than words…”

Jesus had shown His love to all. He gave His life to show how much love He has for everyone. He shed His blood and became the ransom for ours.

“Actions speak louder than words…”

“19 We love because he first loved us. 20 Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. 21 And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister.” – 1 John 4:19-21 (NIV)

Jesus came down from heaven to speak about God’s love to this world deprived of love.

“We know what real love is because Jesus gave up his life for us.” – 1 John 3:16 (NIV)

The Battle Isn't Mine

“10My people, you are my witnesses and my chosen servant. I want you to know me, to trust me, and understand that I alone am God. I have always been God;  there can be no others.  11I alone am the LORD;  only I can rescue you.  12I promised to save you, and I kept my promise.  You are my witnesses that no other god did this. I, the LORD, have spoken. 13I am God now and forever.  No one can snatch you from me or stand in my way. “ – Isaiah 43: 10-13 (CEV)

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That unexpected meeting had me fully open to their winds of accusations that almost killed the light I tried to carry wherever I went. It flickered. The more wind, the more wavering it did and the little light became even lesser, to the point of going up in smoke.

Then, suddenly, a Huge Hand came and shielded my light against those strong winds of accusations that had no basis. The winds that came from three people in power who just wanted to serve their self-interests. Three people who were supposed to protect, and under our badges, were placed in their prominent positions, became the first ones to accuse and wanted to do a severe damage. They could only see the power that held them high. But they didn’t know. Any power from this world would not last. Any who was number one in position in this world would not mean it would be the same ranking in His Kingdom.

And my light didn’t die. Saved by His mighty Hand. And I saw the scars on His hands pierced by those nails. Nails that were driven by the same passion wrongfully used by those people in high power thousands of years ago. They wanted to kill him even if He was innocent. They didn’t want to believe anything He said though they were amazed by what they heard from Him. They thought they could plan for His death and made Him bleed as He walked through the narrow, dusty road leading to Golgotha, while carrying a heavy, wooden cross. But they didn’t know. It was already planned by God. He sacrificed His own Son to save humanity from their sins.

As I sat there battling those powerful winds, my heart glowed more with hope. Knowing that the God Who raised Him from the dead was the same One Who freed Him from death’s agony; as it was impossible for death to keep its hold on Him. My light grew brighter as He shielded me from those attacks and reminded me of what was to come. Because of what He had done. And because I chose to believe and trust in Him.

I am reviewing what I wrote from day one that there was a big change at work. I keep playing the recorded messages over and over. Praying for God’s discernment daily, I had that gut feeling to start taking notes as I felt that there was an unseen powerful storm that would threaten to stop His work in me. As they smirked and laughed their hearts out, celebrating because of what they thought crippled me, I remained resting in His wonderful promises. His Armor remained intact all over me, day in, day out.

Next week would be a big leap for me. As I try to sort out what I have to fight back.  I feel good. I have His mighty tools He gave me. They will not hear a loud yell from me. They will not expect any disrespectful remarks. For I am not reacting in the flesh but I’m fighting in the Spirit. With my defense, they will cower because of His truth and His righteousness. With my stance, they will not see any fear but peace, love, and the joy of salvation. They will hurt because I will bring the battle into His light and their hearts will be pierced with His sWORD. As I remain not standing up in a stance while holding a fist into the air, I would rather continue to bend my knees and fold my hands together. Even if they get calloused. As I know many of you are also keeping me in your prayers. And because of that, as we gather and meet in the Spirit, I pray that I see everything through His eyes, not mine. To God be the glory! Thank you friends for your prayers and love.

 “And he said, “Listen, all Judah and inhabitants of Jerusalem and King Jehoshaphat: Thus says the Lord to you, ‘Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed at this great horde, for the battle is not yours but God's.” – 2 Chronicles 20:15 (ESV)

Your Love

“I’m sorry for crying, but I just can’t help it. I haven’t been feeling well and I just don’t feel good,” a young, female inmate rapidly stated as she just sat on one of the blue chairs we used for sick call. She was talking so fast that I haven’t even asked her what brought her down to the Clinic. I knew she had a history of anxiety and being bipolar was a possibility according to her records.

“Calm down…..Breathe…” I coaxed her.

“Ma’am, I’m sorry but I just don’t feel good and it’s difficult to breathe and tonight, I started coughing and…”

“Calm….Down….Take a deep breath…Don’t think I’m not listening. I am.”

“But…”

“Breathe! Calm down!”

Her lips pursed, I saw her let out a long breath.

“Again…”

To my command, she let out another. Seeing her more relaxed, I asked, “Do you think you need to see someone from the Mental Health Services? Are you feeling more anxious? Though I know that you were seen before but at that time, you told them that you were okay. It looks like you have a cold. And if you cry, it will make it more difficult for you to breathe. So, try to relax, okay?”

In a much slower rhythm, she replied, “I’m fine, Ma’am. I don’t think I need to see any from Psych. I do have history of asthma.”

“I saw that. I’m just waiting for you to calm down. I’m gonna’ take your temperature and other things and depending on what I hear from your lungs, I might give you an inhaler.”

“Thank you.”

"Try to relax, get a lot of rest if you can and drink lots of fluids as long as you’re not nauseous," I reminded her as I gave her yellow pass after giving the medications to help her with her symptoms.

Oh, how true it is in this life that even smaller things can overwhelm us and seem to choke us when we feel so inadequate in overcoming trials. It’s just hard to breathe. These things that choke us sometimes weaken our faith more and make us forget that God can do amazing things. But no matter what we feel and no matter how impossible the circumstances we are fighting, it doesn’t mean that God is not paying attention to us anymore.

“Be still…” He always reminds us.

“"I the LORD do not change. So you, O descendants of Jacob, are not destroyed.” (Malachi 3:6 – NIV)

He is God of love. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. So, His faithful love doesn’t change.

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For this special day, may we remember the Author of Love.

“16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” – (Ephesians 3:16-19-NIV)

This was a song the Lord had given me on Nov.25, 2004 then He gave me the second part on June 20, 2007…(We will find him if we seek Him and look for Him with all our hearts)…

Your Love, Oh Lord

I can never understand the way You love every man
On the cross You died and You called us friends
I can never comprehend Your sacrifice and all the pains
Even on the cross, You welcomed us with open arms

Chorus:

(That) Your love is wide…..wider than what my eyes can see
Your love is long…it endures for all eternity
Your love is high….higher than the skies and the heavens
Your love is deep…deeper than the rivers and the seas

Your love oh Lord…

Help me be like You in all of my ways
Dwell in my heart, only in You I have faith
I wanna’ be rooted only in Your love
So I can begin to understand…

(Repeat Chorus)..

Your love, oh Lord…(Your love is wide)
Your love, oh Lord…(Your love is long)
Your love, oh Lord…(Your love is high)
Your love, oh Lord…(Your love is deep)

~rcubes 11/25/04

Happy Love Day to all of you and may God bless you all! Thank you for your friendships, sweet thoughts and prayers. It will be a long battle I'm facing in the coming days ahead, but I want to be still and know that it is the Lord's battle, not mine. Love to all of you.
All posts/composed songs copyright by RCUBEs.



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