Your Love

“I’m sorry for crying, but I just can’t help it. I haven’t been feeling well and I just don’t feel good,” a young, female inmate rapidly stated as she just sat on one of the blue chairs we used for sick call. She was talking so fast that I haven’t even asked her what brought her down to the Clinic. I knew she had a history of anxiety and being bipolar was a possibility according to her records.

“Calm down…..Breathe…” I coaxed her.

“Ma’am, I’m sorry but I just don’t feel good and it’s difficult to breathe and tonight, I started coughing and…”

“Calm….Down….Take a deep breath…Don’t think I’m not listening. I am.”

“But…”

“Breathe! Calm down!”

Her lips pursed, I saw her let out a long breath.

“Again…”

To my command, she let out another. Seeing her more relaxed, I asked, “Do you think you need to see someone from the Mental Health Services? Are you feeling more anxious? Though I know that you were seen before but at that time, you told them that you were okay. It looks like you have a cold. And if you cry, it will make it more difficult for you to breathe. So, try to relax, okay?”

In a much slower rhythm, she replied, “I’m fine, Ma’am. I don’t think I need to see any from Psych. I do have history of asthma.”

“I saw that. I’m just waiting for you to calm down. I’m gonna’ take your temperature and other things and depending on what I hear from your lungs, I might give you an inhaler.”

“Thank you.”

"Try to relax, get a lot of rest if you can and drink lots of fluids as long as you’re not nauseous," I reminded her as I gave her yellow pass after giving the medications to help her with her symptoms.

Oh, how true it is in this life that even smaller things can overwhelm us and seem to choke us when we feel so inadequate in overcoming trials. It’s just hard to breathe. These things that choke us sometimes weaken our faith more and make us forget that God can do amazing things. But no matter what we feel and no matter how impossible the circumstances we are fighting, it doesn’t mean that God is not paying attention to us anymore.

“Be still…” He always reminds us.

“"I the LORD do not change. So you, O descendants of Jacob, are not destroyed.” (Malachi 3:6 – NIV)

He is God of love. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. So, His faithful love doesn’t change.

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For this special day, may we remember the Author of Love.

“16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” – (Ephesians 3:16-19-NIV)

This was a song the Lord had given me on Nov.25, 2004 then He gave me the second part on June 20, 2007…(We will find him if we seek Him and look for Him with all our hearts)…

Your Love, Oh Lord

I can never understand the way You love every man
On the cross You died and You called us friends
I can never comprehend Your sacrifice and all the pains
Even on the cross, You welcomed us with open arms

Chorus:

(That) Your love is wide…..wider than what my eyes can see
Your love is long…it endures for all eternity
Your love is high….higher than the skies and the heavens
Your love is deep…deeper than the rivers and the seas

Your love oh Lord…

Help me be like You in all of my ways
Dwell in my heart, only in You I have faith
I wanna’ be rooted only in Your love
So I can begin to understand…

(Repeat Chorus)..

Your love, oh Lord…(Your love is wide)
Your love, oh Lord…(Your love is long)
Your love, oh Lord…(Your love is high)
Your love, oh Lord…(Your love is deep)

~rcubes 11/25/04

Happy Love Day to all of you and may God bless you all! Thank you for your friendships, sweet thoughts and prayers. It will be a long battle I'm facing in the coming days ahead, but I want to be still and know that it is the Lord's battle, not mine. Love to all of you.