God Allowed IT Though They Thought They Chose The Right Thing

Photo Credit

“So God let them go ahead and do whatever shameful things their  hearts desired. As a result, they did vile and degrading things with each other’s bodies. Instead of believing what they knew was the truth about God, they deliberately chose to believe lies. So they worshiped the things God made but not the Creator himself, who is to be praised forever. Amen.” – Romans 1:24-25

They claim they have God by their side. But they love to see people hurting instead of being successful or happy.

They say they understand but they are quick to take the matters into their own hands and decide the way they want it done.

They say they want to be fair but their actions show how much favor they give to one group.

They say “tell me and promise I’ll keep it to myself,” and all of a sudden, the whole world knows.

They say they believe in God but they have their own ideas of what a god should be.

They are quick to judge inmates, quick to show hate and anger, based on their outward appearance and by them knowing their charges. How do they know a “changed heart?” How do they know that behind the metal bars and the prison walls, some are enjoying true freedom?

With all the things they do, rejecting God because God doesn’t stop anyone from making wrong choices, they become prisoners to their own rebellious acts. They lose their freedom because of SINS. So, “Who’s the prisoner now?”

This was a poem God gave me at the wee hours of May 1, 2009:

Who’s The Prisoner Now?

There he was, cramped up in a tiny, dark cell
Hiding his face with hands, drops of tears fell
Tracing back the memories that put him behind these bars
Tough as he looked before, his pride now starting to melt away

Hopelessness wrapped him, there was no doubt!
Shadow of fear that lurked, not sure of what would happen
Sleepless night that had seem to begin for him
As he watched his back, while others stared and were observing him

A tiny light coming from a small window caught his eyes
It was a little glimpse of hope, to see freedom which was outside
As more tears had fallen, he felt a stab of pain or two in his heart
He bowed his head and softly whispered from his broken heart:

“Dear God in heaven, I don’t know what I have done
I thought I can do everything and I don’t need you in my life
I never believed in You, because I was busy with my own desires
I just killed someone, aside from other bad things I committed with my own hands"

"God, whether You’re there or not, I have no one to talk to, You see
I just want to say “forgive me for my sins, Jesus, I’m really, really sorry”
“Jesus, please help me, and please save me if You can hear me!”
Not sure if his plea was heard from heaven, but his worries started being lifted from his shoulder

The weary man with the orange suit like everyone else climbed up on his tiny bed
Covered himself with a brown blanket, and felt the cold on his back
Closed his eyes, puffy from all the tears shelled
He didn’t know he just received “freedom” when he repented and opened his heart to Jesus

None of our righteous works will get us to heaven

For the Bible says they're filthy as "rags"

Whether we do good or bad, it's only through Jesus

When we make our relationship right with God

God sent His only Son to be with us and Jesus paid for the price

Yes, He suffered, was nailed and died on the cross

You must believe that for our sins, He was the ultimate sacrifice

If you have no way out, approach Him with a contrite spirit and a broken heart

The prisoner's mind began to wander, oh how he longed for the good things outside
Freedom to him meant not being behind those metal bars and tiny cell for the rest of his life
But he wasn't aware of this fact: That many people enjoying their lives outside are still prisoners

And he had gained eternal life and freedom from sins through the blood of the Lamb

"Who's the prisoner now?"

RRRS 05/01/09
0500 hrs.

This Is The Day!!!

“So what do you want?” asked the Nurse Supervisor during our meeting that morning.

“Ahh…Make her work for only 90 days and if there’s nothing available, we’ll see from then,” responded the one who also has power in another department of the Sheriff’s.

“I’ll be blunt with you,” chorused the other, as I looked at her eye to eye the whole time, with her moving her head away from my penetrating stare, “It’s hard to find another spot where we can place you. So…maybe you should start looking at other options…”

I saw that grin from the Nurse Supervisor from the corner of my eyes. I knew this was what she wanted to happen from the moment she heard about my case. I got up and thanked all of them. My strides and desire to leave that room was urgent. I felt suffocated from all of their derision I felt was going on as soon as I left. They loved to punish. But they would never see the way I saw things now. Under His light, I didn’t see it that way.

Photo Credit

I saw it as a “sacrifice”.

“The Lord is God, shining upon us. Bring forward the sacrifice and put it on the altar.” –Psalm 118:27

And how I wanted to be this “sacrifice”. On the brazen altar. For I was once like them…Who saw this light…The Light of the world…And made those who were darkness light. The darkness of ignorance and unbelief….That's where I was before...

Oh Lord, when they thought they are in control of someone’s fate, they are wrong. They don’t know Who truly has the control of everyone’s lives. Lord, may I be a pleasing sacrifice to You and through this trial, may they see Your light that You had given me. Lord, thank You for what  You had done to save us. That You sacrificed Your own life, suffered humiliation though You didn’t deserve that. With those who hated You thinking that they punished You, not realizing that You had given Your own life to conquer death and show Your holiness.

Lord, I want to be bound and be that sacrifice on the brazen altar. I pray that it will make these hateful people know Your love and grace as they think they have the hold on my fate. And in the fire, remove those impurities in me. Thank You Jesus for Your redemption. Thank You for everything You have given us. Your Love. Your grace. Your mercy. Because of You, I am rejoicing though facing this trial. I want to praise Your Holy Name. Write a new song in my heart oh Lord. Because of You, I will rejoice and be glad. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

“The stone rejected by the builders has now become the cornerstone.

This is the Lord’s doing,

And it is marvelous to see.

This is the day the Lord has made.

We will rejoice and be glad in it.”

~ Psalm 118:22-24 (emphasis is mine)

It's About....Me?

There were three of them…Against me…They felt so strong knowing I didn’t have anyone to defend myself. Tired as I seemed since I worked the night before, my mind had never been more alert than that scheduled crucial meeting to wound me and specifically intended to smother me.

What they didn’t perceive was I was not truly alone. If they thought that their words that were so far apart from what was being written on a piece of paper would get away, they were wrong. If they thought that I would not remember being stabbed, being punched, being beaten, they were wrong.

I had brought my God with me. They didn’t see Him, because if they did, their actions would have been done with LOVE. And He saw it all. His heart broken as they started lashing at me. He cried as I cried in my car. He did what He usually would do...To hold me tight in His loving arms. To make me rest in His faithful and wonderful promises...

I was sure they were talented. I was sure they knew a lot of things. And in power, they did serve. Unfortunately, not to serve others but just themselves.

“I want you to look at the person sitting next to you and tell them, “You are more important than me,” uttered our pastor yesterday during our earliest Sunday fellowship.

“You are more important than me,” I whispered to my husband sitting on my left, whose eyes were intentionally enlarged so close to my face as he was saying the same thing…

And to my right, where my precious child was sitting, “I am more precious than you…” And he started laughing, not expecting that I didn’t say what the pastor wanted us to say. But he knew I was only kidding, as he enjoyed a simple laughter with me. He knew what I told him often….

“Do not think highly of yourself but of others,” I often reminded before I sent him off to school.

“And?...”

“Stay humble, mom,” he answered as he would give me a hug and a kiss and uttered his “I love you.”

But I loved what my pastor quoted…

“No one is more important than He Who is the Chief of this house, Who is the Head of this church….”

“Jesus Christ…”

Yes, that was the Truth! I wasn’t important. You were not important. He is!!! And it would be easy to find that out in our lives who would be important. We could all just stand in front of the mirror and see what the reflection would be…

“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” – Matthew 6:21

Oh Lord, please empower me with Your Holy Spirit. Remind me that I had died long ago and that now, You are the One living in me.  Through this trial, I want to thank You for reminding me, to defend myself, yet respond with the kind of love that comes from You. Please cover us with Your Holy blood and surround us [Your children]with Your mighty angels. For once, I had never felt defeated even if that was what they were thinking. They didn’t know I had You. “What can man do to me?”

Please guide me, give me discernment as I get up after being replenished by Your power and might. And yet, Lord, I ask that You bless them even more, despite their wrong motives. Help me forgive them the way You have forgiven me. I love You Lord. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

Friends, today is the day that I am getting up, fully energized by the Spirit, like I had always been. I never backed down knowing their accusations and motives were not true. I knew they were trying to wound me because their hearts were void of the Savior’s love. And all they wanted to happen was for their own motives. Please continue to pray for me. I feel that. And I thank you. Please forgive me if I haven’t been responding at this time but just know, that I treasure all of your comments, your prayers, your love and your willingness to stand by me…If I am responding to let them know that they cannot do everything that they want to do, it is because I want the Lord to be glorified. To Him be the glory forever. I love you all in His Holy Name….God bless.

Sanctuary

Photo Credit

Sanctuary….Those words first greeted me as I hurried my pace and made my husband and son did the same this morning…I’ve been hurt. Battered and bruised spiritually these past days. And I couldn’t wait to enter the Sanctuary…To be energized. To seek refuge. To be empowered once more. To allow Him to lead me. To obey…

The pastors’ s sermon this morning and all of the songs we sang brought up mixed emotions. Of goodness and feeling so blessed as we partook of His body and blood.

“We are clothed with His righteousness… When we approach His throne of grace, God sees Jesus’ righteousness on us, not our filthiness.” Those truth penetrated my heart. I opened my eyes only to find out I was the only one sitting and the rest of the family, standing and loudly singing.

“How come you didn’t tap my arm?” I asked my husband on my left side.

“That’s okay. I saw you in deep prayers and you were crying.”

“I know. Because I felt His awesome love. So deep. And I felt sadness at the same time. For those who don’t know His love,” I whispered as everyone’s voice drowned my words with their thanks and praises.

Oh, how so many people miss His desire to be with them. His wanting to live among the people. To be in their hearts. Those faces I met few days ago who were determined to end my job because they had the power and they thought they had the right decisions….but they haven’t met the One Who is the Most Powerful and the One Who has created us all.

Instead, some go to sanctuaries, rushing into worship and treating Him with disregard.

“Don’t think highly of yourselves but of  others,” reminded our pastor.

I pulled a small tissue from my purse and wiped the drying out tears. But in my heart and my mind, as we prepared to leave the fellowship, I would be forever reminded of Who brought us out of Egypt, of Who gave us the sanctuary here on earth and in heaven…

“I will live among the people of Israel and be their God, and they will know that I am the Lord their God, I am the one who brought them out of Egypt so that I could live among them. I am the Lord their God.”

~ Exodus 29:45-46