Foolish Inmate Workers

Having tasted being locked up, you would think that inmates would strive harder to reform their lives. To make things better. Some try. Like those ones dressed up in blue uniforms, making it known that they are part of the working crew.

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They are scattered inside the prisons. Some working in a particular unit to help clean up whatever mess, run errands for the custody staff and in their attempt to do the right thing, might even help break out a fight amongst themselves.

Some are kitchen workers. Working early at night until late in the morning. They have rotating shifts. Some serve in the staff’s dining hall. Making specified meals that staff orders. Setting out the food in those food warmers after laboring and doing lots of chopping and cooking. Making sandwiches, burritos, anything.

I used to eat there. But working at Intake then, didn’t give me enough time to enjoy my food. By the time my order was being brought to where I sat, Intake was already calling me that some arrestees had arrived. It was hard to take even a few bites. There was no more taste and no more appeal to my interrupted appetite.

Co-workers often wondered why I always brought my lunch now. I would go quietly to a room and close all doors and would eat stuff from home. Then rest my neck. And just talk to God in that silence.

I must warn you, before you keep reading my post, that stuff that I am about to say might gross you out. Not my intention. But I want to give you the clear picture of what truly happens inside those prison walls.

One night, I heard the charge nurse talking about two particular workers in kitchen, who got caught rubbing the lettuce on their bodies. Then, they chopped them up and served them. Another time, a co-worker yelled “Eeewwww!”, I ran and peeked when she was seeing an inmate worker, thinking something had happened and I was ready to call for help with the radio on my hand. She discovered that that particular inmate had scattered abscesses all over his body. It happens sometime. But it was sickening for her to realize on her own that it was the same inmate worker who served her sandwich that particular night. Sometimes, they would mix their body fluids with oatmeal or other food that might disguise their horrible ways.

That’s another reason why I chose to bring my own lunch!!!

We have tasted how it’s like to be imprisoned, too. Adultery. Illegal substances abuse. Pornography. Murder. And many other sins. But must we fall back again to those things that imprisoned us when we have already tasted God’s goodness and forgiveness through Christ? Of course, we’re humans, that’s what we always say as an excuse.

“Are you so foolish? After beginning with the Spirit, are you now trying to attain your goal by human effort?” - Galatians 3:3

May we all learn to stop acting like PRISONERS now! God has loved us all without any strings attached! There is nothing that we can do to make Him love us more! He loves us all. Unconditionally.

“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, Who loved me and gave Himself for me.” - Galatians 2:20


On another note, my shoulder’s pain started easing up yesterday. I just want to thank you all for your prayers and sweet thoughts. I’m sorry if I’m not able to visit some of you at this time. Just trying to be restored and be strong at this time. God bless you all the more.

Letter From Christ

The road going up was winding, dark and sometimes, small creatures dashed across the dark road, unknowingly risking their lives to my moving vehicle. Fortunately, with my headlight on a high beam, I was able to avoid them. The usual time of 4:30 in the morning marked this usual trip on an unfamiliar road. On my passenger seat, a plastic tub sat where the inmates’ medications were housed in individual, small orange envelopes. Those meds were delivered to those many bodies who committed minor offenses. There was only 1 deputy. And in that particular housing, separated far from the rest of the rehabilitation center, roamed many inmates.

I parked my car under the soft glow of a little light at the back. I saw some inmate workers already roaming at the back, waiting for the delivery of their morning chow from the prison’s kitchen. All eyes glued to my arrival, watching my every moves. The deputy was not visible, busy inside, starting to wake up the still asleep inmates.

Those happened many years ago. As I thought about it now, I often wondered why I remained courageous doing that uneasy feat. Co-workers admired my courage, working alone in that facility for many years. Working in the dark of the night. Being in a remote location, nature has its way of surprising the staff with its wild ways. Coyotes abound. Snakes lurked somewhere in those dark holes, ready to attack if felt threatened. Squirrels came to try to sneak in a few crumbs they could find laying around the building where staff ate. There was also a sighting of a mountain lion once. Flashfloods came without warning on those rainy days.

But the reality of having inmates freely roaming around was the biggest threat that lurked. Knowing they were unpredictable with their behaviors, despite being rehabilitated. I intentionally set my car’s alarm every time I made that morning delivery. So that nobody could hide under the hood. I wasn’t afraid then. I wasn’t afraid now.

Looking back, I know, I have nothing to brag about. I had confidently worked in that fearful [to others] environment because my confidence came from knowing Jesus. My competence came from Him. I know that those inmates might have different opinions of me, some grateful for the meds I gave, some angry if their meds had not gone through our system yet and so was not delivered on a particular day. But with or without meds, I fairly treated them. To some in doubts, I explained how our medication system worked. Respecting them, no matter what attitude they showed me was what earned me their respect back in the end.

It was through my actions that I hoped they would see and be able to read Christ working in me. Because as believers of the new covenant, we are Christ’s letters.


“You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.” - 2 Cor. 3:3

We have no credit for our transformations. Yes, we thrive. We remain strong. We are able to endure no matter what circumstances are going on around us. We set examples of what righteous living mean. It is not our work but of God’s spirit. When that seed is planted, we have this new power to live only for Him.

Reflecting now…yes, I was able to work in that dreadful environment. Because I have a God Who is able! And to Him be the glory forever and ever. In all ages to come!

Learning To Endure

She glanced at me…Trying to lock her eyes with mine. But I purposely shunned away. I might seem like a cold figure to her at that moment. I saw her got up, unknowingly being watched by my spying eyes. She was trying to see what was going on inside the Infirmary. Trying to hear what the conversations were among the staff. She knew, no soul was paying attention.

She had complained of chest pain every few hours. She was already brought to the county hospital’s ER but nothing was found. She just came back from the hospital and hardly an hour had passed while in her unit, she started complaining already of chest pain. She denied any mental health history. To the nurse, she demanded to be given something to ease her nausea. Except no one saw that she was even throwing up or acting nauseous.

The charge nurse deliberately gave her what we called “bench therapy.” Meaning we would let her stay in the waiting area of the female side all night until she grew tired of it. Except there was no sign of her getting weary. Instead, she must have enjoyed the precious moment of being alone rather than being confined in a tiny cell with another unknown soul. She looked like she enjoyed watching tv and remained nosy about what the night crew was up to during the shift.

12 midnight passed by. Then, it became 1, 2, and as the clock on the wall showed the hands at 3:00 a.m., that was when she became uncomfortable. She couldn’t endure the waiting anymore. All of a sudden. She admitted she knew that she had no cardiac problem and requested to be sent back to her unit.

A yellow pass was handed right back to her cold fingers. The heavy metal door slammed right behind her as the Infirmary Deputy let her out so she could go back to her tiny cell. She must have accepted her loss. Of letting go of any temporary and short-lived comfort and pleasures. But behind these prison walls, waiting is always a process the inmates need to endure.

She waited only a few hours in that small waiting area in the Infirmary. Only to go back to the cold cell where she must learn to endure to wait for a number of days, even months, or years, as a consequence of her wrong decisions.

But this is how life is! We don’t always enjoy the lap of luxury. Some of us might not even have any. We also face that decision to go after these worldly comforts or we can share with Christ’s suffering. Sometimes, we suffer for so long. And through those hard times and life’s pressures weighing down on each of us, we learn not only to endure. But also to trust. To hope for the future glory.


“However, as it is written: "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived   what God has prepared for those who love him.” - 1 Corinthians 2:9

The Aroma Of Christ

Soooo thankful for all of your precious prayers, friendships, and encouragement for my pains and aches. God is so good [as usual!]. My pain started easing up yesterday, as soon as I read the first comment left by sister Lisa. I was able to go to work last night. Everything went smoothly. Despite the usual busyness, I knew, the Lord was with me, guiding me, strengthening me.

Thank you for all of your petitions that boldly arrived at His throne! My neck is achy but that’s the norm for me ever since I sustained that neck injury from the hospital back in 1997.

I always treasure your comments and sometimes, I go back and read them again and again when I need encouragement. It truly helps to know that I’m not alone in this journey.

Sister Mary’s comment got stuck in my mind:

“If I was there, I'd give you my mineral ice too and add to your new perfume tray. I love that stuff! But long distance, I hold you in my heart and pray God's healing over your aching neck and shoulder. It's a pleasure to stand in the gap for you, my friend. I'm believing for a pain free, quiet weekend and favor of God everywhere you step. We're close in thought and spirit.”

It reminded me of that broken alabaster jar [Mark 14:3], where the expensive perfume was poured on the Lord’s head. As if I could see the broken jar laying on the floor near Jesus’ feet, that’s how I feel. Broken. An aging process! But I can only hope that despite me being a broken vessel, I pray that I’m letting out the sweet aroma that is pleasing to the Lord. If I'm always just going to have pains and my joints will be rusty, I might as well just bring this broken vessel daily and surrender to His feet.

Oh, to have that distinct aroma pleasing to You Oh Lord. I want to remain broken and empty so that Your glory can shine through me, Oh Lord. When I’m broken You empower me. When I’m empty, You fill me up. Thank You Lord for Your mercy and love. Help me to do the right things and may everything I do or say glorify You, Lord. May the essence of my worship regard You with my utmost love and respect. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

How wonderful that must be if all of His children are walking around, emitting that distinct aroma that not only pleases the Lord, but draws others to Jesus, through those broken vessels!


“14But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him. 15For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. 16To the one we are the smell of death; to the other, the fragrance of life. And who is equal to such a task? 17Unlike so many, we do not peddle the word of God for profit. On the contrary, in Christ we speak before God with sincerity, like men sent from God.” ~ 2 Cor.2:14-17 [NIV]