Fear God

Proverbs 1:7 - “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline.” [NIV]

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“Nurse! Nurse!” “Why, you _____! Come here!”    

“De….pu…ty!…….De…pu…ty! Let me out o’ here!”

The yelling was followed by the loud din of metal grating against metal. This nude suicidal inmate had been on the safety chair for a few hours to prevent him from hitting his head against the window. I went over to help the Intake Nurse last Sunday night. The smell of reeking alcohol filled the hall as many drunk bodies arrived. Some arrestees’ hands twisted to prevent them from trying to fight with the deputies. Appearing tough, they would soon discover that their arrogance was no match with the well-trained deputies.

“Depuuuutttyyyyy!” his scream cut through the stale air. “Let meeeeee outtttt!”

The sergeant had one of the deputies opened a tiny metal window.

“Okay! Mr. F. I’ll let you out only if you stop banging your head! Do you understand that? If you start doing anything to harm yourself, that’s it, you’re going back to the chair!”

5 deputies went in, along with the sergeant to the bare cell reserved for those needing close monitoring by the medical and custody staff. The pungent smell of urine overcame their nasal passages. One of the deputies behind him was holding a taser gun, the light pointed at his upper torso, ready to be fired if he would try anything to hurt anyone.

The Intake nurse assigned that night stood by the door, assessing the inmate whose body was strapped to the chair. The feet and the hands were also secured. He appeared calm. But his stares penetrated each and everyone as if he was on to something.

The chair was taken out. He was left all alone. As soon as the big metal door was closed, he started banging the door and window again. Demanding for some papers because he needed to write something. It was denied. He was suicidal so nothing was allowed to be kept by him.

He started yelling profanities to the sergeant despite her talking with him in a soft manner and ordering him to stop harming himself. With the pounding of his fists, it was matched with his foul language. He was defiant. He didn’t want to respect the authority. There was no history of mental problem. Except him, just refusing to obey the authority.

“Alright boys!” yelled the sergeant. “Let’s put him back on the chair!”

It grew quieter. He just stood by the window and glanced with a mean look. If he didn’t understand, he wouldn’t have stopped his defiance. He walked into one corner of the cold room. And for the rest of the hours I was there helping the Intake nurse, we finally had peace and quiet.

We must show reverence and fear to our Lord. To revere Him means to show our deepest love and respect and honor Him. Along with reverence, obedience must come.

“Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man.” - Ecclesiastes 12:13



Lord, You have freed me from all of my fears. You have given me joy instead. I cried out to You and You did hear me! You have set me free from all my fears. Your angel guards those who fear You. Help me Lord to give my reverence due You. Help me to trust in no one but You. Help me Lord to turn away from evil. Help me Lord to live in peace instead with others.  Help me value Your commands and help me store them in my heart. Thank You Lord for Who You are. Thank You for Your love and mercy. Thank You for Your wisdom. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

Crossroads

“More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.” ~ Woody Allen

I glanced at the monitor in front of me, my eyes glued to the female inmate’s age: “26”.

“So young,” I whispered to myself. “How can she have chest pains if she doesn’t have any history?”

I heard the female side's metal door opened. The female deputy escorting this young inmate, with her wrists handcuffed to her back, as her keys dangled from her pant's pockets. Taking little steps, the young, long-haired woman kept looking on the floor and couldn’t maintain a good eye contact.  I immediately took her vital signs as I kept probing on possible causes why she would have chest pains. Motioning her to the exam room #1, two of us made her lay down on the exam table and put the EKG leads. She wasn’t talking as much. Embarrassed and could not imagine she was in the jail.

“Listen,” I softly approached her as the last EKG lead was placed in one of her legs, “tell me now if you’re using drugs. Or I can’t help you. You have your choice to remain quiet about everything. But that would limit me from doing the best care we could possibly give you.”

Stuttering and with a tone of shyness, she started giving her history. That 3 days ago, she was driving her car with her boyfriend. When suddenly, flashes of bright lights shone behind them that came from a cop’s car. In a crucial, frightening seconds, they started fighting as to how they could get rid of a small bag of methamphetamines on board. She already had a previous arrest and was on parole. Her boyfriend: 1st time to be caught if arrested. He made her swallow that bag. To get rid of evidence. Despite her protest. She ended up being brought to the hospital. But after her treatment, this time, she was booked in the jail.

“Sorry. I never told you. I’ve been using meth, on and off, for 10 years now,” a bead of tear crept up in one corner of her eyes. "I also had an abortion, 3 weeks ago,my third," she added choking in between.

“Thank you,” I looked at her and managed to lock a good eye contact this time. “Now, I know why you’re having chest pains.”

Immediately, I asked for an ambulance so she could be treated at the county’s ER. Transferred to the EMT’s guerney, she bowed her head really low as the escorting deputy put a shackle on her left foot.

“Oh, my gosh! I can’t believe it. This is not happening,” she mumbled. “Will you cover my foot with something, deputy so the shackle can’t be seen?” she requested.

“Yeah, I’ll try to cover it with something. But you know what? You did this to yourself. If you don’t stop now, you are gonna’ die young,” he warned but with intention to remind her to not destroy herself with her bad drug habit.

“I know…I know…” as she tried to wipe the tears that fell. “Thank you, nurse,” she uttered as she was more comfortable looking into my eyes now. The guerney disappeared. I knew I would see her again.

God loves His creation: humans. Created in His image. Out of His love, He already had marked a right path of living way before. But people refuse to take that path. Oftentimes, going their own way instead. All of us face that decision, that crossroad: to choose God’s right way or to follow that path which we think we like. If we choose the latter, we are often misled. There is no peace. There is no contentment. It is only when we choose God’s path that we are able to find rest for our souls. Let us not be ripped off by this world. There is always time to go back to that right path…

“This is what the LORD says: "Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls. But you said, 'We will not walk in it.” 
- Jeremiah 6:16 [NIV]





Father, this is your post, not mine. I pray that You speak to those who will happen to come by. Imprisoned by drug abuse, alcohol abuse, prostitution, and other self-destructive ways. Lord, I ask for Your intervention in their lives. For them to come to know You first. So their blindness can be removed. And that they will be able to see that path that leads to You. Father, help us. Those Who already know You and tasted Your love. Help us remain strong and not stray away from this path You had marked for us. Help us to not look in other directions but maintain our focus, to be straight...only on Jesus. Thank You Lord for the path You have created for us. The rest that awaits for our weary souls when we finish our journey. But the best of all, is to see You waiting there with Your open arms and to be with You forever. I love You Lord. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

We Are Free

I can’t believe it had been 20 years now, since I said goodbye to my husband, who was my boyfriend at that time, and was in the USS Missouri, off to go to the Persian Gulf War.



Lots of mixed emotions and thoughts swirled in my mind. But more of questions. Of “what if’s”. Of fears. Of sadness. Of tears. Many days went by with only prayers sustaining me with strength and hope. That one day. He would come back and return here safe. And by the grace of God, he did return. Unharmed. But a changed man. Changed by a torpedo that almost hit their carrier. Intercepted by an ally.
Changed by the many sleepless nights he was on alert, along with other comrades to watch for mines scattered in the vast, open sea. Changed by the letters we exchanged that got piled up as delivery wouldn’t be that easy. Their locations, most of the time, unknown. Changed by the tomahawks fired towards the enemy.




Changed by the many, many days that turned into months and years that we were physically apart.

He is not working with the US Navy anymore. But he continues to work to fight against terrorism. To you, my hubby, I give you my sincerest gratitude for all the sacrifice you did. Not only for your family but for all of us who enjoys this freedom we have. And my “thank you” to all of you who are serving in the military. For those of you, their families, who sacrificed also. To let go of a soldier to a mission with no time frame. It is not easy. But through their sacrifices, we remain free. May we remain honoring those who had given their lives because they never compromised. And because of that...we are free.

While many do not support war, sometimes, war is necessary to keep sinful people away from harming those innocent ones. War is indeed terrible. But sometimes, it is necessary to prevent greater evil. As Christians, the most important thing we can do is to pray for those serving in the military, those who fight against terrorism, and also for their families. Their spouses. Their children. Their parents. Whose hearts end up with a big hole every time a soldier leaves on a mission. Let’s pray for their safety. For God’s wisdom to guide our leaders.

“...a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.” - Ecc.3:8

May God bless all of you who sacrifice your life to preserve our freedom!!!

I'm Saved...Now What?

It was one of those urgent sick calls we pulled from the pile of sick call requests from inmates. The words written complained of bleeding nose and that he was hearing voices. I glanced at my watch and realized I still had an hour before my shift was over last Sunday morning. I told the charge nurse, I would see the man.

He sat down in front of me, coughing and complaining of pain on the right side of face. I didn’t see any bloody nose. I touched his right cheek and it was slightly tender. He complained of on and off headaches. He admitted hearing voices but he said he wasn’t suicidal. That he only added it so he could be seen right away.

“That’s okay. Because I feel you have sinus infection if your right face have been hurting and you have headaches sometimes. You’re fortunate. Because our doctor came in early. I would go see her if I needed to give you some antibiotics.”

He let out a soft sigh and softly uttered, “Thank you, Ma’am. I appreciate your help and for not getting upset with me.”

The doctor did recommend antibiotics to be taken for 10 days and a nasal spray to aid with his congestion. I gave him all the instructions.

“Do you drink water? If you do, how much?” I probed.

“Ah….Mmmmm…”he paused.

“Just say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ Sir.”

“I do. But just a little.”

“Okay. From now on, if you’re not throwing up, try to drink lots of water to help you with your healing. It will loosen up those phlegm so you can cough it up. And that will prevent you from getting dehydrated. That’s okay if you can’t eat but the water is a must.”

“Yes. Okay…”

“Also, once you start these antibiotics, it’s very important that even if you are feeling better, you must continue and finish everything that I am giving you. Okay? If you feel like you‘re not improving, you can always put a sick call so we can recheck you.”

He got up and kept thanking me. It took me 20 minutes so I gave a little sigh myself that I had a little time left to chart in my notes.

We are once like that man before coming to Christ. Day in, day out. Congested with the things of this world. We fight hard. Except we use our own limited strength until we bleed. Yet, accomplished nothing. The hearts…always left with a gnawing emptiness and feeling of less worth and dissatisfaction. Not knowing that the Living Water is available, we never drank enough. Have you committed your life to Christ? Have you been drinking the Living Water?

Christ did not promise a good, rich life when we accept Him into our hearts. He is not of this world. Our highest accomplishments will not matter. Our riches and possessions will not matter. Our hope and trust on someone or something except Christ will not matter. We must continue once we start having Him as Lord in our lives. Because in our weakness, He will give us the strength. In our lack of knowledge, He will give His wisdom. When feeling afraid, He replaces that with courage. We must strive to keep improving. To know more about Jesus. To know more about God. “4Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.
5"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” - John 15:4-5 [NIV]
But being saved does not end there. We are given a mission to share the Good News to those who haven’t heard about it. “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit…” - Matthew 28:19. This is the whole design of Christ’s commission. We are to teach. We are to make disciples. It is not about me doing ministry in the prison. It is not about our highest accomplishments that will matter. It is not about the prized possessions we have that will matter. It is all about the Lord Jesus. Our mission as His children is to share His gift of forgiveness. That will matter. Because God wants all to be saved…We are to plant the seeds. Yet, He is the One Who will nurture. Who will make them grow, not us. There is no second, no hour, no day that the Lord will not be there for His children. 

So, how are we investing our time? Day. After. Day. We are saved. Now what? We are God's eyes. His hands. His mouth. His ears. His touch. May God bless you and empower you!

“May the Lord direct your hearts into God's love and Christ's perseverance.’ - 2 Thessalonians 3:5



Glory be to You Oh Lord forever and ever. In all ages to come. Thank You Lord for Your grace and mercy, Your faithful love that endures forever. Thank You for loving us first. Guide us with Your divine wisdom Oh Lord, to give us discernment and protect us. Give us the boldness Lord to share Your wonderful gift of salvation to those who are still wandering lost and whose roads will cross ours. Help us lead them to the only, narrow road that leads to eternal life. And may their hearts and minds be opened up to You. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

Praise the Lord with me: [offenders singing at Indiana State Prison]: