Heavenly Hope

“Dad, just rest,” I softly whispered to my ill father, as I lightly wrap my left arm across his chest. Reminiscing the many memories he shared with us, as every hour quietly slipped away, marking every hour of his imminent physical departure.

“I can’t…Lord, please take me now,” he mumbled under his breath but those words had audibly reached my sense of hearing. Trying to mask his pain, he seldom spoke of the severity of pain from his abdomen he had to endure. My father was dying from colon cancer. The year was 2007.

His prayers remained constant. A constant pleading to have his journey be halted. By the Hands of his Creator. Silence. His eyes closed and his breathing became more normal. As if he fell into a deep sleep, my brothers and I were just huddled close to him. We were like little kids buying more time to cling to our father. Holding him, hugging him, kissing him. As our hearts already had holes that fit the size of our dearest mother, 7 years prior to that, were again preparing to be broken.

Suddenly, his eyes opened and with a soft voice strengthened by his love for us, he spoke, “It’s okay now. I can wait. We go in groups and my group is next.”

“Dad, are you okay? What’s my name?” came out the nurse in me, assessing him for his orientation.

“Rosel! You’re Rosel! Yes, I’m okay. I told you, I can wait now. The Lord will get me when it’s okay with Him. But He told me, that we must learn to forgive. Because when we don’t, that’s why it takes us a long time to go to His place,” he uttered with his remaining strength.

His mind was very clear. And whatever he said might have been from a dream. But there was a truth into that statement. For the Lord did want us to learn to forgive.

My father was a joker. And despite being on bedrest the whole time, he managed to joke around with all of us. He was in good spirits. He accepted the Lord in the year 2003. And the depression he had gone through after half of his heart departed [my mother], was replaced by the joy that came from knowing His Savior. He loved helping others. He loved sharing whatever things he had to those who were in need.

If not for Jesus, I knew then, my brothers and I wouldn’t have comfort and peace. Because of His promise of eternal life to those who would believe in Him, we had that heavenly hope of being reunited, first with Jesus, and then, with our loving parents and other lost loved ones who accepted Jesus in their hearts.

I kissed my father and put my mouth near his ear, “I love you dad. Be patient and wait for the Lord.”

He turned his head to where I was and answered, “I love you. I want you and your brothers to know that I love you all so much. I’ll wait. Because God knows the perfect time.” He closed his eyes. And I knew, the waiting had begun. But it was all worth the wait…”

My eyes shed some tears...of mixed emotions: tears of knowing how much would be missed and tears of joy knowing we had a great reunion to look forward to...

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. 2In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. 3And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. 4You know the way to the place where I am going." ~ John 14:1-4

Get Up and Walk! - Spiritual Sundays

Sunday again...How fast this week had gone by. After the busyness, the hustle and bustle of life, let us take some time to pause and bask in His presence. The One Who deserves our attention, our time. Come and join me in this special place of warm friendship, of love, and of unity that comes from the Savior's love. Thank you sisters Charlotte and Ginger for hosting this place.


I responded to a man down on the female side. A young female was down on the floor, right by the doorway of her tiny cell, as her cellmate seemed to be so worried for her. She was complaining of dizziness and had been throwing up for 3 days. She was just booked on that same day her symptoms appeared.

Her vital signs were all normal as I tried probing more. Her story was not making sense at all, as one story led to another that didn’t have to do with what she related in the first place. I knew she was lying.

“Get up!” I softly ordered.

“Ma’am, she’s dizzy,” answered the cell mate.

“Ma’am, with all due respect and I understand your concern, but let me just speak to her, okay?” I replied.

“Butt out!” yelled the female deputy to the cellie [cell mate].

“Okay. Get up and I want you to go to that nearby table,” I commanded again.

She got up fast and walked steadily. Then, pretended again that she was about to faint.

“Listen,” I said, “Stop it! If you want me to be able to help you, cut this out!” this time I spoke with a firmer voice. “Tell me what I need to know, not what you want to say!”

“Ma’am, I was using too much of my Norco that the doctor gave me for my back pain. I started using more and more everyday. Like 90 pills maybe a day?”

“Any other street drugs you use or used before?” I queried.

“No,” as she held her abdomen and complained again of wanting to throw up.

“Let me repeat my question…Any other drugs you used prior to coming here?”

“Yes. I used meth, too. But only a little bit,” she replied.

“I’m sending you to the hospital but there is no emergency. You are having withdrawal symptoms from the drugs you abused. It’s normal that you will have stomach aches, vomiting, nausea, diarrhea and sometimes, chest pain or other pains in your body. When you come back, I will start you on some medications that will also help you be relieved of these symptoms,” I explained.

“Thank you, Ma’am,” she softly mumbled.

“Now, get up and walk! Because I know you can! You need to get out of this segment so you can wait for the deputy who will bring you to the hospital in the waiting area.”

Without any complaints, she did get up and walked without any difficulty.

The deputy smiled at me and wondered, “How did you know nurse that she was lying?”

“Thank God…I just know,” I smiled back.




Four friends brought a paralyzed man on a mat to be healed by Jesus. Since it was so crowded, they dug through the clay roof above Jesus’ head as he preached. Then, lowered the man in front of him. Seeing their faith, Jesus said to the sick man that his sins were forgiven. Of course, there were religious teachers who thought what Jesus did was blasphemy to God.

But Jesus was not blaspheming. His claim to be the Son of God was true. So he told these religious teachers, “Is it easier to say to the paralyzed man, ‘Your sins are forgiven’ or ‘Get up, pick up your mat and walk?’ And because he wanted to prove his authority on earth to forgive sins, he told the sick man, “Stand up, take your mat and go on home, because you are healed!”

Jesus’ words still ring true today. Because of our faith, Jesus had already forgiven our sins when we believed and had called on him. But it doesn’t stop there. We are not to be paralyzed with our walk with Him.

Arise…Walk…That’s God’s call for actions. Turn and live…That is our powerful testimony of spiritual healing for His glory: that we are able to get up from whatever afflictions that made us unable to move and now, can walk!

That’s Who Jesus is…The Comforter. He loves to comfort the hurting ones. He loves to heal the sick ones. He gives freedom for the oppressed. We all have fallen into different abyss of despair. But Jesus has been reaching out his hand to save each one of us. It’s just a matter of trusting him and reaching back to his outstretched arms.

Enough of self-denials. Of lies. Of selfishness. So, what are you waiting for? Grab His hands, stand up and walk!!!”

[photo credit: ourpreciouslamb.wordpress.com]

Needing A Home [The $10 Challenge]

For more of the inspiring posts from many who took on the $10 challenge initiated by Brother Billy Coffey, please visit here and you might as well hang out for a while to get to know more about this man who writes about things he had learned from his own life and spiritual journeys.



I was discussing with my husband my desire to donate anything to nearby food banks as there are so many hurting people at this economic times. He was all for it because he knew and had seen the truth in what I said.

Whatever we want to share, the money we will use to buy them is from the Lord in the first place. How can we keep something that is just lent to us by the Giver of all good things.

The $10 hidden under my ID and badge and a few one dollar bills were still there, waiting for opportunity for whatever use it would come its way. To help out someone in need.

That same night, as I got on line, I received an email from our pastor and here was what it said [I made the names anonymous to protect them]:

“Hey RBC Family,

This is from R R…..w...--- On Thu, 12/10/09, r…..w@vn.net wrote:

From: r….w@vn.net Subject: homeless
To: m@yahoo.com
Date: Thursday, December 10, 2009, 8:31 PM

a lot of the homeless are asking for can food. can or will you ask the body to see if they can fill this need? thank you”







I knew right then that it was that opportunity that I could do for the Lord. So, this morning, I hurriedly went to the nearby store and got some canned soups. I also saw some tuna that came with the crackers, so I grabbed a few, thinking it would go great with the soup. These might be a temporary help, but at least, would be enough to satiate the pang of hunger. On cold days like these especially.

When we bring these food to our church, I don’t know who will benefit from them. But that’s not important because there are so many people hurting, both physically and much more, spiritually.

I pray that when those cold hands scoop the warm soup into their thirsty mouths and eat the little bit of solid protein and carbohydrates to help with their gnawing hunger, that they would say “thank You” to the One Who made everything possible. And most of all, in the midst of their trials of not having a home to live in, may they open their hearts to Jesus Who wants to make a home in all of our hearts. That would be the greatest Gift they could give to themselves.

Romans 10:13 ~ for, "Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved." [NIV]

Revelation 3:20 ~ “Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.” [NIV]

The Safety Cell

I found myself taking my steps toward the Intake part of the prison last Saturday night. The Intake Nurse had called in sick so I was there to fill in for her. I had not worked there in a long time. But I didn’t mind as it was a nice break from doing paper works from the Infirmary side.

After getting my report from the PM shift nurse, I proceeded to check the inmates in Suicide Watch cells. There were a few of them gathered in one cell, donned with grayish robes, Velcro-strapped on shoulders, to keep them warm. One was separated because of his unusual behavior. He kept pacing in that tiny cell, but was calm.

The safety cells were also occupied. These were the cells in nearest proximity to the Intake Nurse’s tiny clinic because whoever was placed there needed a closer monitoring as they were more dangerous than the ones just professing their desires to hurt themselves. The ones in the safety cells had actually done something like kick the windows or doors hard with any parts of their bodies, usually their fists or heads, cut their wrists or arms and other bizarre things.

As I partially opened the tiny metal window and turned the light inside the cell brighter, a face was pressed already, so close against the glass window with a flat affect. It gave me a creepy feeling. His breathing causing the window to fog up a little bit. His naked body not minding the cold, bare cell. He was placed there the day before when he started kicking the Suicide Watch’s windows really hard, with both of his fists, and sometimes, his head. Fortunately, he didn’t sustain any lacerations nor contusions.

I offered water to which he accepted. Opening the tiny, horizontal window in the middle of that metal door, I slipped in a small plastic cup with water, which he immediately took in one big gulp, three times. I reassured him to just try to be patient and sleep until the Psychiatrist showed up that morning to talk with him. There was no response. His face remained emotion-less. He slowly sat down on the floor. But remained calm for me.

I tried to check up on him as often as I could, in between my screening of newly-arrived arrestees on both the male and female side. Not including the radio calls I had to attend to and the telephone calls that took some of my time if officers from other jails had questions.

I turned up the light switch on the wall and opened the metal window. His eyes were right there against the glass window. This time, he started banging on the metal door. Loud. Strong. Louder. Stronger.

“Stop banging on the door!” I commanded to him.

“Give me my meds! Give me my meds!” he responded with a child-like kind of whiny voice.

“I’m sorry Mr. T. But it’s not time yet. It’s way too early. It’s only 4 o’clock in the morning and we can’t give it to you for another 4 or 5 hours,” I softly answered, hoping that his banging on the door would cease. I didn’t want him to be placed on the safety chair. To be strapped. To prevent himself from inflicting injuries to himself.

“No! Give me my meds!” this time he demanded more.

“No!.. If you don’t stop banging on the door, I have no choice but to place you on that safety chair and I don’t want you to go there as much as possible,” I uttered with a firm voice.

The banging stopped as one deputy hovered nearby. Pressing his face again against the glass window, he said, “You sound like my mom! Stop playing games with me. Stop playing jokes with me!”

“I’m not playing any games nor jokes with you. I’m here to help you. I’m telling you about the rule here. And you know that because you were there yesterday when you kept banging the glass window. I thought you wanted to get out of this cell? If you do, then, you must stop hurting yourself. Don’t bang the door or the window! Just be patient and wait for the doctor…”

His cold, penetrating stare followed my every move. But I met those stares with mine and I was sure not to back down. Because I wasn’t playing games and I wanted him to know that. If my gaze wouldn’t meet his, that would mean, I was not sincere. Either that, I would appear as if I was afraid of him, which I was not.

I wanted him to get well. I didn’t want him to be strapped on the safety chair if it could be prevented. Because it wasn’t fun to have that kind of restrictions. Even worse, he would be given a big dose of a combo of calming meds. To lessen his agitation. I didn’t want him to be so drowsy that by the time the psychiatrist would come, he wouldn’t be able to speak with him and voice out his concerns.

The naked body retreated away from the window. His head bowed low. Slowly, he sat down on the floor and then, laid down. He stopped banging the big metal door. But he requested two things:

“Open the window a little bit so I can see...and leave the light on,” he softly stated.

“Of course,” I reassured.

　
And my mind wandered as I sat down inside the clinic…And took me to those times when I was in that cell before…As I struggled with my own faith when I went through a trial or a suffering. Or when I relied on material things instead of on God, the Physician. Or when I would wait for answers to come and the waiting seemed forever.

Bearing too much pain, and nowhere to go to, I resorted to trusting Him despite my doubts and even if I didn’t understand.

But somehow, I met Him somewhere, sometime by His grace through faith. And the doubts I had, even if real, led me back to a greater faith in Christ, the Physician, as seasons came and went.

I found out much later, that this faith that saves did not come from any philosophical arguments…It is His gift.

For there was no other place for me to go to…but to cast myself into His mercy. And knowing at that time that as I waited and trusted in Jesus…that would be the only way that I could be set free.

And so for everyone else in every safety cells…feeling hopeless, wanting medications to numb their pain. There is nothing else you can do but to believe and wait and trust…For these are matters of faith.

Open the windows of your heart and let the Light flood in...Just believe...And wait for the only one Physician Who gives the deliverance.