Look At Me

“Do you mind seeing this inmate complaining of side pain?”, asked the charge nurse.

“Not at all,” I replied.

A young male walked into the door, holding the back part of his right side, slightly limping and grimacing in obvious pain. Before I had the chance to start asking him, a per diem LVN walked up to the big window and started asking the inmate some questions, wanting to help me in a way.

“So what’s up? You’re so young to be hurting like this. What’s wrong with you?”

“I have a history of having kidney stones,” was the reply.

“You? Kidney stones? Who diagnosed you? So, you come here to jail to get the treatment, right?” continued my co-worker.

The inmate slightly raised his voice, in an obvious upset tone, “No! I don’t come here to be treated. I don’t even need any narcotic. But this hurts. You don’t understand.”

The LVN gave him a cup as I directed and I tested it for urinalysis. It was positive for blood. I took that opportunity to take over in seeing the inmate. I let him in and had him sit on a chair. But his anger was already erupting.

“You guys tell me that I’m lying or what? That I come here to get drugs for pain?,” he mumbled under his breath, his head bowed low.

I couldn’t blame him. For I was upset, too with what I just witnessed in that exchange of conversation. Upset at my co-worker.

“Sir, look at me…” I requested.

He continued to mumble with his angry rants.

“Sir, please look at me.” This time, he did and looked at me eye to eye.

“I can’t speak for everyone’s behavior here. But I want to apologize for whatever inappropriate behavior my co-worker had shown with you. I need you to listen to me. Because I do believe you’re in pain. I believe that you have kidney stones. And I want to help you to the best that I can.”

Pause…Sigh…Then, he uttered, “Thank you, Ma’am. For believing in me,” as he started wincing in pain.

“I am going to send you to the hospital because you do need to be examined there to see how bad the stones are. At least, they can also help you with your pain control. But I need you to just be patient during the whole process. We have to wait for the deputy to take you there.”

“I can wait, Ma’am. Thank you so much for your help.” He got up and went back to the waiting area.

I pulled my charge nurse away from her desk and talked with her privately. I told her I wanted to confront the LVN for that inappropriate behavior. But I believed it would help if she was the one to address the issue and warn not only him [the LVN], but also the rest of the staff. It was not our duty to judge the inmates. No matter how bad they were, it was our duty to help them with their medical problems and not be concerned with their social backgrounds. The other consequence was that inmates could retaliate by hurting staff if embarassed that way...She understood and immediately talked with the LVN.

After many hours, the inmate returned, smiling now and more trusting. He thanked me. I looked at the discharge paperworks that came from the hospital. The diagnosis was kidney stones. They had to give him something strong for pain and wanted him to be followed up in a few days.



I don’t know about you for whatever circumstances you have gone through that you distanced yourself from God. I don’t know what life has thrown at you that you think God doesn’t care. He doesn’t listen. He is too far away. He doesn’t love you….But friends, feeling that way is dangerous. Because we cannot measure God with human kind of standards. The truth is…God loves us all. He is always listening and He is always ever near.

Is it right to be angry at God? The answer is “no”…That is being proud for sinful creatures to disapprove of what God allows and does.

Yes, it’s okay to express your anger to God but it’s wrong to stay angry…He is waiting for you to “look at Him”. He wants a relationship with you. When you hold a grudge against Him, the more the distance between you and God widens. Guess who’ll suffer in the end?

He Loves Us No Matter What

I couldn’t wait until this day comes that I am writing about my son’s healing. The waiting period was long and often times, painful but I’m so glad, it’s all over!


His doctor gave him this whole week to just rest and regain his strength back. He doesn’t have any more headaches. The dizziness was gone. He started eating with what seemed to be his normal appetite yesterday. Bad for me! Because I’m eating with him! I didn’t even realize I had lost weight because when he was in pain, I forgot to eat.


When it comes to our children, it is always hard to see them suffer. I told him if there was a way I could take that pain away, I would. But sometimes, we all go through that trial, because that’s when we realize that we are truly in need of God. And that, when he is healed, even better for him not to forget God especially during the good times.


My son had gone through so much with all the pain and the medical tests but he remained patient and learned to endure. He never complained nor whined. I feel so blessed to see him prayed at times, which gave me comfort in return. And which reminded me, that no matter what happened at that time, the Lord was always just a “prayer” away.


And this trial made us, three, even more close to each other. Even if we are aware that our lives are like flickering candles, the more we value each day that the Lord gives…Don’t forget to hug your children, give them a kiss, and say “I love you” over and over. Same with your spouses. Live each day as if it’s your last…because that will help you focus on what matters the most….


So, this post is to thank you all who prayed for us as we met this bump on this road. We appreciate your love and friendships. And most of all, all the thanks and praise to our Father Who hurts Himself when His children are suffering. He knows…He’s been there before. His suffering that none of us had experienced…And He submitted Himself to be nailed on the cross out of love for us….Thank You Jesus…


May we remain prayerful, not only when we have hurdles to overcome…but in all occasions. Let's keep those who are also in need of prayers because when we agree together, He is surely in the midst of us...God bless you all and love to you all.

WWJD?

It was 12:30 a.m….“It better be not him,” my co-worker and I uttered at the same time to each other as we ran toward the hallway that leads to units 5-8. It was a long walk and seemed like forever. We were running against time, after a radio call that there was a man down in that hallway.

What Would Jail Do?

There he was laying on the floor, surrounded by 3-4 deputies, as one deputy had a broken and pink-stained ammonia being whipped under his nostrils. The Sergeant stood nearby, wondering what was going on, looking a bit concerned. The inmate’s eyes were blinking, aware of the strong odor that pierced his nostrils. He appeared like he just lost consciousness, but with that immediate response of trying to have that odor be taken away, suggested otherwise.

What Would Jail Do?

I pulled the Sergeant to a corner, where our conversation would not be heard. I told him that the inmate just returned from the hospital. After being a man down in PM shift and I just sent him back after I treated him at the Clinic and gave him 3 Graham crackers to aid with a little hunger he complained about, upon returning from the hospital. I made him aware that this man was claiming he started passing out after being beaten up. By whom? No one knew… Where at? It was a mystery…For he never reported any incident in the first place.

The Sergeant nodded the whole time. He got the point that this man was potentially just faking all of his man downs because he wanted something. At that point, I hadn’t fully reviewed his chart.

What Would Jail Do?

Borrowing a guerney from a nearby unit, we put the man on it and brought him back to the clinic to be observed. I gave him a mattress and a blanket so he could rest while being monitored. In the meantime, he was thinking that we believed he had some medical condition that warranted an immediate attention.

Glancing at the back part of his chart, where the mental health personnel usually write their notes, the person who interviewed him one day was told by him that he was forcing his family to bail him out by posting the bond required. He didn’t think that he did anything wrong, so why should he stay in the jail? I searched for his charges. There were many times of arrests for the same offense: robbery/theft.

What Would Jail Do?

“Excuse me, Ma’am…I have a bad headache! Why do you want me to wait for the doctor here? That will take forever. Why can’t you send me to the hospital?” he asked as he came close to the big, glass partition window.

“Sir, you just came back from the hospital. Everything they did there had a normal result so why would I send you back? Rest over there and be patient!” I stated in a firm voice.

When he thought that no one was looking around, he was calmly watching tv up on the wall. But when he sensed there was a staff member near by the window, he would act like he was sick or had a headache. He didn’t know, we were all aware now of his games. He thought he could get away with it. He didn’t know, if proven that there was no problem, he would be put on a discipline later. Meaning, some of the privileges would be taken away…

That’s what jail rules would do…


We are all familiar with the phrase, “What would Jesus do?” or simply known as “WWJD”…Having this in mind helps us make the right choices. It simply means to follow Jesus as an example in our lives. It will help us to make that choice of doing something that Jesus would approve of. We don’t really want to wait and make a wrong choice and like that man, think that we have done nothing wrong…To really know how Jesus would react to a particular situation, I think it all starts from another WWJD ~ Walk With Jesus Daily…

If we think we can get away with everything, think again! Yeah! That includes you, even if you don’t believe in Jesus! For Jesus said, “And the Father leaves all judgment to His Son, so that everyone will honor the Son, just as they honor the Father. But if you refuse to honor the Son, then you are certainly not honoring the Father Who sent him.” - John 5:22-23



“But is it God Who judges: He brings one down, he exalts another.” -Psalm 75:7 [The Message]


“Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.” -Galatians 6:7 [NIV]

Leave [If You Can...]

It felt like a massive storm had hit our household since my son got sick this past, whole week. I am not complaining as I am aware that there are many others who are also facing trials in different degrees. I could feel my exhaustion now, but still, can not fully rest as I attend to my son's needs, who hasn't fully gotten his strength back. Not 100% yet but at least, by the grace of God, he hasn't been having those awful headaches now. He is able to eat more and drink more fluids. The doctor told him that it would take a few days before he could fully recover and it was expected that he would be tired for a few more days.

So, at least, my husband, my son and I are able to breathe a little better since yesterday...

Since sometimes we can't do anything to change whatever circumstances we are all facing, I just find comfort that knowing the Lord's promises, those are the ones we can cling to, that saves us from sinking more from this deluge of worries, anxieties, even sadness, doubts, depression, fears and other ill feelings or emotions that we know are not His will for His children. Sometimes, I wish it's easier to just leave away from all these troubles. But unfortunately, it's not...

Same thing with the Lord's love. As we walk with Him, sometimes, we think we are better without Him. But we are wrong to think that way. The more helpless we become when we become astray. You can try to leave...that is if you can...Because it's not your hold on God that saves you...But His hold on you...

For this Spiritual Sunday, I would love to remind you that this is His will for His children:

16Be joyful always; 17pray continually; 18give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. -1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 [NIV]

It doesn't matter how far you've gone away from the Lord. He is always there, waiting for you to return to Him, to leave all your cares to Him. There is nothing you can do that will make Him love you more or even less.

19We, though, are going to love—love and be loved. First we were loved, now we love. He loved us first. ~ 1 John 4:19 [The Message]




For more encouraging posts, please visit Spiritual Sundays. God bless you all.