Look At Me
“Not at all,” I replied.
A young male walked into the door, holding the back part of his right side, slightly limping and grimacing in obvious pain. Before I had the chance to start asking him, a per diem LVN walked up to the big window and started asking the inmate some questions, wanting to help me in a way.
“So what’s up? You’re so young to be hurting like this. What’s wrong with you?”
“I have a history of having kidney stones,” was the reply.
“You? Kidney stones? Who diagnosed you? So, you come here to jail to get the treatment, right?” continued my co-worker.
The inmate slightly raised his voice, in an obvious upset tone, “No! I don’t come here to be treated. I don’t even need any narcotic. But this hurts. You don’t understand.”
The LVN gave him a cup as I directed and I tested it for urinalysis. It was positive for blood. I took that opportunity to take over in seeing the inmate. I let him in and had him sit on a chair. But his anger was already erupting.
“You guys tell me that I’m lying or what? That I come here to get drugs for pain?,” he mumbled under his breath, his head bowed low.
I couldn’t blame him. For I was upset, too with what I just witnessed in that exchange of conversation. Upset at my co-worker.
“Sir, look at me…” I requested.
He continued to mumble with his angry rants.
“Sir, please look at me.” This time, he did and looked at me eye to eye.
“I can’t speak for everyone’s behavior here. But I want to apologize for whatever inappropriate behavior my co-worker had shown with you. I need you to listen to me. Because I do believe you’re in pain. I believe that you have kidney stones. And I want to help you to the best that I can.”
Pause…Sigh…Then, he uttered, “Thank you, Ma’am. For believing in me,” as he started wincing in pain.
“I am going to send you to the hospital because you do need to be examined there to see how bad the stones are. At least, they can also help you with your pain control. But I need you to just be patient during the whole process. We have to wait for the deputy to take you there.”
“I can wait, Ma’am. Thank you so much for your help.” He got up and went back to the waiting area.
I pulled my charge nurse away from her desk and talked with her privately. I told her I wanted to confront the LVN for that inappropriate behavior. But I believed it would help if she was the one to address the issue and warn not only him [the LVN], but also the rest of the staff. It was not our duty to judge the inmates. No matter how bad they were, it was our duty to help them with their medical problems and not be concerned with their social backgrounds. The other consequence was that inmates could retaliate by hurting staff if embarassed that way...She understood and immediately talked with the LVN.
After many hours, the inmate returned, smiling now and more trusting. He thanked me. I looked at the discharge paperworks that came from the hospital. The diagnosis was kidney stones. They had to give him something strong for pain and wanted him to be followed up in a few days.
I don’t know about you for whatever circumstances you have gone through that you distanced yourself from God. I don’t know what life has thrown at you that you think God doesn’t care. He doesn’t listen. He is too far away. He doesn’t love you….But friends, feeling that way is dangerous. Because we cannot measure God with human kind of standards. The truth is…God loves us all. He is always listening and He is always ever near.
Is it right to be angry at God? The answer is “no”…That is being proud for sinful creatures to disapprove of what God allows and does.
Yes, it’s okay to express your anger to God but it’s wrong to stay angry…He is waiting for you to “look at Him”. He wants a relationship with you. When you hold a grudge against Him, the more the distance between you and God widens. Guess who’ll suffer in the end?
The Attacker (5/15/09)
The sun was just peeking from the Eastern skies.
Out in the prison’s yard, some huge Sheriff’s buses were illuminated by the soft glow coming from the lights all over from the tall lamp posts. Their engines were turned on, warming up, before the buses would take the inmates to the different courts where they would have their trials.
Orange-uniformed men were lined up in pairs, joined together with handcuffs and chained, forming a long line. They already had their breakfast and had their morning medications prior to going to courts. Some were fidgeting, as they waited to board those buses.
All of a sudden, all hell broke loose! Two men were engaged in a fight, using weapons they made secretly for a while. Deputies called for help on the radio, both for custody back-up and medical staff, as well.
When the air was cleared and the other inmates were secured, one man was down on the floor. He sustained multiple gashes but two of them were deep. One cut was vertically etched from his left ear going down to the jaw line. The other dangerous cut was horizontal on his left neck, close to the jugular vein. Pool of blood dripped all over the floor. Holding his bleeding neck, he was pointing at the other inmate few feet away, being guarded by the other deputies.
The other man being accused was not hurt. There were no lacerations nor any other signs of trauma. He was obviously very agitated as he was being questioned by those deputies, while the medical staff started treating the other man on the floor. They cleaned the wounds and controlled the bleeding. That man was sent to the nearby hospital.
When the investigation was finalized, it turned out to be that the “downed man who was accusing the other inmate” was the attacker and the other one who didn’t have injury was the one attacked. The deputies found out that it was the second attempt to attack the unhurt man. Both attacks on him failed. He was well-prepared after the first attempt on him, that when the second attempt was done, he was able to defend himseld and ended up injuring his attacker severely.
[Source: Life Application Bible]:
We also have an “accuser of the brethren.” Satan and his army of demons are the enemies of God and of everything good.
“Because God’s children are human beings – made of flesh and blood – Jesus also became flesh and blood by being born in human form. For only as a human being could he die, and only by dying could he break the power of the Devil, who had the power of death.” –Hebrews 2:14
Because of what Jesus had done [dying on the cross], we, who live in constant fear of death shouldn’t be afraid anymore. Jesus had freed us from that fear so we can live for Him. When we belong to God, we know that death is only the portal that leads into “eternal life”. [“Thank You Lord!].
Paul warned us, too that we also battle against the evil forces of Satan, who is a vicious fighter. But to be able to withstand their attacks, we must depend on God’s strength and use every piece of His armor. We face an army whose goal is to defeat Christ’s church. When we believe in Christ, they become our enemies. They will try any device to turn us away from the Lord.
Fear not! For God has provided His supernatural power to defeat Satan and his army, through His Holy Spirit within us. So, arm yourselves with God’s armor.
Let us be strong in the Lord's mighty power. Let's put on His whole armor to resist the enemy's attacks: put on the sturdy belt of truth and the body armor of God's righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News, so that we are well-prepared. We will need faith in every battle as our shield to stop the fiery arrows aimed by Satan and his army. Let us put on salvation as our helmet, not forgetting the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God. Let's pray at all times, on every occasion in the power of the Holy Spirit. We must stay alert and be persistent in our prayers for all Christians everywhere. [Ephesians 6:10-18].