The Song

"The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song." - Psalm 28:7 (NIV)

“I think it’s legit…” the Infirmary Deputy uttered. They just had a change of shift so all he knew about the inmate I was keeping in the waiting area was that I wanted to observe him if he was truly confused. He was hit by another inmate and just came back from the hospital after treatment. They didn’t find any fractures or severe damages in ER after x-rays and other tests. He was answering appropriately when I was taking his blood pressure but when it was time to send him back to his unit, he started acting as if he didn’t know where to go.

“It’s hard to say at this point,” I told the previous Deputy, “Either he’s faking it or he could be starting with some symptoms if there was any injury overlooked in ER.”

“I feel like he’s scared to go back so let’s just keep him here for now.”

“You know what,” the Deputy replied, “We don’t change their cells anymore so maybe you’re right that he’s afraid to go back to the same situation, to the same cellmate or whoever hit him in his unit.”

“How come they don’t get switched around now…Is it because of our problem with overcrowding?”

“Yup…”

So, he was quiet. He was watching t.v. silently despite his left eyelid almost shut closed. He used the bathroom and seemed like he knew where he was. He seemed calm in the Clinic being a different environment than that of his unit. I thought I heard him humming at one point as there was a song being played from the t.v. monitor hoisted up in one corner. Until…as I was doing something to help out the P.A., the Charge Nurse called me and told me that someone had let him out from the Clinic and the control bubbles found him wandering all over the hallways without any direction. One unit deputy brought him back to the Clinic and when I asked him where he went, he told me that someone had let him out and told him to go back to his unit. I asked if he knew where his unit was and that was when he got quiet again as if he didn’t know what to say.

“It’s legit…” “He is confused,” the Deputy assessed on his own. I knew he didn’t want to keep the inmate any longer in the waiting area because he needed to watch him, too, for as long as we kept him there. While the inmate was patient to wait, he wasn’t… I was granted by the Charge Nurse to go ahead and just keep him overnight in our Special Medical Unit until he was to see our doctor in the morning. The inmate’s face lit up but remained calm. I knew he was comforted when he heard that he didn’t need to go to his unit. At least, for another 24 hours. And he hummed…Softly as being whisked away by the Deputy.

Waiting is always a hard process. For whatever each of us go through, waiting seems to be always involved and is crucial as a factor to determine how we react with any situation in front of us. But those who trust in God will discover that His grace is enough for our weaknesses. His power is enough to strengthen even though we are unworthy. Even Jesus went through agony in the garden before his crucifixion. But He waited patiently despite the ordeal that was to happen. He prayed. He waited for the Father’s timing. Not His. When God’s grace, love and mercy replace the sorrows and any burdens in a person’s heart, God’s gift of joy helps one overcome any circumstances that even through tears and heavy burdens, the heart can still sing…To praise God Who is quick to help out and save those who trust and hope in Him.

“He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the LORD.” – Psalm 40:3 (NIV)

My Father….Our Father….Who wrote a song of love first for us to hear and know His love for us…

The Father's Song

I have heard so many songs
Listened to a thousand tongues
But there is one
That sounds above them all

The Father’s song
The Father’s love
You sung it over me and for eternity
It’s written on my heart

CHORUS:

Heaven’s perfect melody
The Creator’s symphony
You are singing over me
The Father’s song
Heaven’s perfect mystery
The king of love has sent for me
And now you’re singing over me
The Father’s song

I have heard so many songs
Listened to a thousand tongues
But there is one
That sounds above them all
[Sounds above them all]

The Father’s song
The Father’s love
You sung it over me and for eternity
It’s written on my heart

CHORUS

It’s Heaven’s perfect mystery
The king of love has sent for me
And now you’re singing over me
The Father’s song

The Father’s song
The Father’s love
You sung it over me and for eternity
It’s written on my heart
[It’s written on my heart]

The Father’s song
The Father’s love
You sung it over me and for eternity
It’s written on my heart
It’s written on my heart
You sing it over me
Father

Doubting Can Be A Good Thing

I was assigned to orient a new Per Diem nurse last night when I went to work. The orientee got a call from one of the units and had requested if nurses could go there to assess two female inmates who got into a minor scuffle. I offered a deal with her as we started dashing out into the hallway that led to that unit. I asked her if she wanted to take one and I would assess the other so she could start honing her skills without me always breathing on her neck. She willingly agreed, enthused with so many incidents happening that would help her learn more in the prison setting.

They were “cellies” (cellmates). Different background and color. The orientee assessed the first one that the deputy brought to a small clinic in their unit. She was visibly very upset and angry. First time in prison. So angry because her release was approaching and she didn’t want any trouble. She wouldn’t stop talking and not listening at times to the deputy when she was asked to “shut up”...No obvious injuries. I advised the orientee to tell her anyway to request a sick call in case some symptoms would surface few days later. She kept crying while talking in a loud voice, looking at me directly in the eye, wanting me to believe that she didn’t start the fight. I kept silent as I was not in the position to relate anything about custody issues.

The second one was brought in (my turn). She was calm. Haggard-looking. Started whining that it was the other girl who hit her first that her tooth became loose. She lifted her upper lip and started pushing the only 2 teeth remaining on the upper gum. One was swaying back and forth. I asked if she had a history of using illegal drugs. She admitted that she did. Heavily. I told the deputy that there were very minor scratches on her right wrist and left side of her nose. I wouldn’t consider the loose tooth as injury.

When the inmates were brought back to a holding cell, the deputy and 2 of us were left in the tiny clinic. The other nurse asked me who I thought was saying the truth. I said the first one. She was surprised at first to hear my answer because there was no obvious injury with that lady she saw. She wanted to know why I chose her.

The inmate you saw was visibly upset. When something was done that violated your space or your privacy, I think I would be so upset. She was obviously bigger than the other one. If she truly hit the inmate I saw, there would be a bigger injury than those minor scratches I noted. Who knew? That inmate could have just scratched herself. There were nothing on her hands, too that if we saw redness or swelling or something, we would know, she was the one who hit the other lady. She was upset because she didn’t want to have any problems here that she didn’t even want to file a charge because she just wanted to be released and go home. The other woman I saw was calm. She was a heavy Meth user that all of her teeth were recessed to her gums except those 2 remaining teeth. One was loose but there was no bleeding and she was not even in pain when she was showing us and started moving it back and forth. If she truly got hit, there would be some swelling, bleeding, something that would tell us that something landed on that part of her face. It seemed like she wanted to have her cellmate be in trouble.

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The other nurse who perhaps, doubted my response saw a different light when I got done talking. She agreed. She forgot. There were always 2 sides to a story. But her doubting was a good reaction, too. It made her want to know the truth. In prison, not everything was told was the truth. 

Thomas, Jesus’ disciple didn’t want to believe that Jesus rose from the dead and didn’t want to believe until he saw the nail wounds in Jesus’ hands and feet, be able to put his fingers into them, and place his hand into the wound in Jesus’ side (John20:25). He was named “doubting Thomas” because of that and was applied to those who are slow in knowing Jesus as the Savior. But Thomas was the one who also said to die with Jesus despite the dangers known of being with Jesus when He was about to go to Jerusalem (John 11:16). He was loyal to Jesus.

I struggled with my faith at one point in my life’s journey. I think we all do the same. Doubting in God can be a good thing only if it encourages a person to get an answer and find the answer and decide from there. Doubts can sharpen the mind. Doubts can lead into seeking and finding the truth…

27 Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.”
28 Thomas said to him, “My Lord and my God!” –John 20:27, 28 (NIV)



Nails In Your Hands (Mercy Me)

(CHORUS A)
The nails in your hands
The nail in your feet,
They tell me how much you love me
The thorns in your brow,
They tell me how, you bore so much shame to love me.

(CHORUS B)

And when the heavens pass away,
All your scars will still remain,
And forever they will say,
How much you love me.

Forever my love
Forever my heart
Forever my life is yours
Forever my love
Forever my heart
Forever my life is yours
its yours

Big And Small Wounds

"Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering,
yet we considered him punished by God, stricken by him, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed."
- Isaiah 53:4,5 (NIV)

Time seemed slow as I took a few steps discovering each room in my house. Different sizes…Some were huge spaces. Others were cramped up. But all of their sights brought me worries. Pain. Suppressed memories that came back to life again. A minor thud somewhere outside woke me up as I still lingered that vision. The house was my heart. The rooms were the many scars brought upon by events. By people. Some hurt a little. Others hurt a lot. I found myself praying as my eyes opened to the darkness of the night. My scars and some fresh wounds in my heart were being met by the scars He endured on the cross. His scars reminding me of His mercy, love and grace.

Father, I lift up all of Your children to never lose hope and be able to overcome life’s sorrows and burdens that wound their hearts and some already living with painful scars. Lord, I pray for Your healing and help Your children always remember that what scarred Your hands and feet became the wounds of victory! Thank You Lord for Your unconditional love, mercy and grace. All the glory belong to You. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

Chocolate Bunnies

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“You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.” – Psalm 16:11 (NIV) 

This morning, a memory came back to mind as I sat down reading His Word. My family and I were looking for a Bible based church locally. A cousin we had not seen contacted us out of the blue and had informed us that they had been going to this Christian church nearby and had invited us to visit one of their services.

We agreed because we wanted to see her and her family we had not seen in a while. We met the pastor and the church family. It was a great time of singing and praising together as the Resurrection of Jesus was being celebrated that day. We loved what we saw from the start until…

We told them we needed to go. They asked us to stay because they always had a “pot-luck”. I heard the pastor turned to my son and said, “You don’t want to stay? C’mon…Go out there in the yard. We will have egg hunting. You don’t want those Easter bunnies chocolates?”

As a new believer, there was something in my heart that said a big “No!” Trying not to criticize and prayed for Him to help us with our decisions, I heard my son replied to the pastor, “No! Thank you. I don’t like it.”

The pastor I was sure had good intentions. He wanted us to stick around and get to know each other more. But as new believers, that was a crucial lesson that my family and I encountered. There was a barrier that formed in our hearts at that moment. A red flag sort of went up and so…we decided not to join that church.

Those bunnies…Open them up. I hear a lot of kids get so excited to see them around Easter time. There are huge ones. But when they are opened, the innocent ones exclaim, “There’s nothing inside!”

And that’s how our lives are without Jesus…Empty…Hollow….Accomplish nothing…

"Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.” – John 15:5 (NLT)

What a disappointment it is for a child to see “nothing” inside that chocolate bunny! People never stop searching for the true meaning in their lives. The more they try, the more they find little or no satisfaction. It’s because there is no happiness when a life is lived without God.

“What does man gain from all his labor at which he toils under the sun? Generations come and generations go, but the earth remains forever. The sun rises and the sun sets, and hurries back to where it rises. The wind blows to the south and turns to the north; round and round it goes, ever returning on its course. All streams flow into the sea, yet the sea is never full. To the place the streams come from, there they return again. All things are wearisome, more than one can say. The eye never has enough of seeing, nor the ear its fill of hearing.” – Ecclesiastes 1:3-8 (NIV)

And that’s what we miss…To search for Jesus first. He is the One Who gives wisdom, knowledge, and true joy. His love is the one that cures the emptiness we all have in our hearts. We all go searching for many roads to find the ones that lead to happiness and satisfaction that often elude us. Most of the time, such roads often end up in disappointments, loneliness, regrets, bitterness, and failures. Some of us are able to see a particular narrow, bumpy road that we avoid without realizing that’s the only one that offers the path toward eternal life, hope and true joy.

“But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.”

– Matthew 7:14 (NIV)