The Power from Words

"Handle them carefully, for words have more power than atom bombs." - Pearl Strachan

“Hello?.....”my friend wondered why I grew quiet on the other end of the line.

I was trying to tell her how there were many bees active during the day coming from one of the neighbor’s overgrown bushes. It made me wary on days that I tried to mow our front lawn, avoiding any unwanted sting from any direction.

Her analytical response made me seal my mouth. For some reason, her response stung my heart and it hurt more than a bee sting…

“Well, you don’t know…maybe they don’t have the money to pay for someone to trim those bushes. You just don’t know what goes on in someone’s life…”

Her response was only truthful and it was not the reason why those words pierced my heart. It was my own reflection of how I said my own words that hurt me. I surely did not want to sound like I was an insensitive neighbor who didn’t care for what could have been going on in someone’s life. I never saw the wife after I spoke with her during one of our early morning encounters. She was so excited about her retirement and few days later, I never saw her again. Until I was cleaning in the front yard, gathering some wind-blown dry leaves and her husband was walking their dog.

“How’s D? Please tell her I say ‘hello’.”

“She couldn’t go out as much anymore,” he responded with a slight sadness but with an acceptance kind of tone with what transpired.

“She was diagnosed with ‘Fatigue Syndrome’ and it just took a lot of her strength to do anything.”

“I’ll be praying for her and please, if you need help, do not hesitate to ask us,” I offered.

“Oh, we’re okay. Sometimes, life takes a turn…”he added, evading the offer.

And pray for her and him I did. Lifting them up to the One Who knew it all and Who could do impossible things.

“Hello?...”

“Well…have a good night. Please try to get some sleep. I love you…” I finally uttered to my friend.

“Okay…Thanks for calling. Have a good night!” My heart started to feel better at that point.

My mind never stopped reflecting about how careful I must be to only let good words come out but always speak of things that have values…Words do have power and can either heal or hurt. But the change must come first from its source…The “heart”…

“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” – Ephesians 4:29 (ESV)

One's Not Supposed To Be Comfortable

“⁶We do use wisdom when speaking to people who are mature in their faith. But it isn't the wisdom of this world or of its rulers, who will soon disappear. ⁷We speak of God's hidden and mysterious wisdom that God decided to use for our glory long before the world began. ⁸The rulers of this world didn't know anything about this wisdom. If they had known about it, they would not have nailed the glorious Lord to a cross. ⁹But it is just as the Scriptures say,

"What God has planned

for people who love him

is more than eyes have seen

or ears have heard.

It has never even

entered our minds!"

¹⁰God's Spirit has shown you everything. His Spirit finds out everything, even what is deep in the mind of God. – 1 Corinthians 2:6-10 (CEV)

I was thinking to myself, “What makes this inmate and others like her, expect to have a comfortable stay in the prison?”

The unit deputy sent her for complaint of slight bleeding. She was 7 months pregnant. I turned the knob that opened the metal door to let her in from the Female side of the Infirmary. I motioned for her to go through another heavy door and as she sat on one of the blue chairs, I started my assessment.

“It’s just not comfortable in my cell, Ma’am…And the dinner was not even enough. It was only spaghetti.”

“My concern in seeing you was regarding your complaint about having bleeding,” my response trying to shorten the unnecessary whining.

“I just don’t understand…Why am I alone in my cell?”

I didn’t have a chance to check on her charge prior to seeing her which I usually did when I had to do sick calls. It helped me better understand their situations and surely were beneficial when it came to assessing their true needs, be it medical or mental problem issues.

I finished what I needed to do as she continued whining how food in the jail was disappointing  and that she was housed all alone in a tiny cell. Seeing that she didn’t require treatment for her initial complaint, I let her in back to the waiting room. As I gave her a cup of water to motivate her to increase her fluid intake, I took a quick peek in the monitor and found out that she was arrested for child endangerment/cruelty.

I went up to the thick, glass partition window while giving back her yellow pass to her hand so she could return to her unit. She gave me a look, a puzzled kind of stare why I was not sending her to the hospital.

“Ma’am, you’re not bleeding. And you denied that you were having any kinds of pains. It’s not comfortable here in the Infirmary either and I had no reason to keep you here.”

She was quiet, accepting the truth in everything I said. As she was getting ready to turn her back away from me, I whispered audibly enough for her to hear:

“By the way, it’s not supposed to be comfortable in the jail. But even then, we must be grateful that foods are being served here than nothing. Few minutes from now, you are about to get your evening snack because you’re pregnant. Also, you’re all alone in your cell because that’s for your own protection. You can be a potential target by others who might not like the reason why you’re here in the first place…”

“Please do put a sick call slip whenever you’re feeling that something is not right. Or you can just let your deputies know like what you did earlier. We are always here to see you if you have a true emergency or problems.”

Photo Credit

“Thank you, Ma’am,” she walked away, dragging her prison-issued rubber tan slippers as she re-traced her steps back to her small cell. A place of isolation but was also a temporary place of refuge from other predators.

Life in earth is temporary. We are not to be comfortable because this is not our true home. Our hearts will always be unsatisfied with the things of this world. We have that longing, a longing that helps us search for the true Home.

“Jesus answered, "My Kingdom is not an earthly kingdom. If it were, my followers would fight to keep me from being handed over to the Jewish leaders. But my Kingdom is not of this world."

- John 18:36 (NLT)

Pinocchio's

“Glorify a lie, legalize a lie, arm and equip a lie, consecrate a lie with solemn forms and awful penalties, and after all it is nothing but a lie. It rots a land and corrupts a people like any other lie, and by and by the white light of God's truth shines clear through it, and shows it to be a lie.” – E. H. Chapin

The battle I’m dealing with at work has been going on for 9 months now. But on my part, my effort to fight back has not even started.

Those people holding a higher position make it seem that they are giving me options to help me keep my job. In reality, there is none. All of my previous benefits are stripped away. Not only they accused me with no basis but they keep playing their game.

Photo Credit

How do you catch liars but with inconsistencies with their answers or any statements? I think I’m seeing a lot of “Pinocchio’s”. I can’t imagine with the 11 years I have been working in the prison, if some of these people’s noses do grow, I often wonder what the length will be by now.

I asked a simple question.

“What is my job status now?”

The answers got me confused.

~ “You’re an extra help so you’re still part of the County…”
~ “You are not terminated. You just had a transition from one job classification to another…”
~ “You have limited benefits (when they took it away!)…”
~ “You are not a contract…(So…why do they want me to sign one?)…”

Again, I emailed to have this clarified. The promise was:

“I’ll look into this and will get back with you…” (Sounds like a lie or truth?)…

I will let you know if this simple question will get a straight answer, God-willing. In the meantime, I’m glad to be not working as much. I surely hate it to be bumping against “long noses”…

“Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who act faithfully are his delight.”

– Proverbs 12:22(ESV)

“You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father's desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and has nothing to do with the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies.” – John 8:44 (ESV)

“But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person. For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander. These are what defile a person. But to eat with unwashed hands does not defile anyone.”

– Matthew 15:18-22 (ESV)

I'm Still Suicidal

“So, you are playing games!” exclaimed the Charge Nurse as she heard me assessing the inmate who claimed that he wanted to hurt himself.

He had a good eye contact as I started questioning him when the unit deputy brought him in, his wrists handcuffed to his back. I motioned for him to sit on a chair and as I started taking his vital signs, I started probing on my own.

“How much bleach did you ingest?”

“Not a lot.”

“Just give me a minute…”

Turning away from him, I asked the deputy if they could have an access to any cleanser in their unit. He said it would be possible if they bought some from their “Commissary” but it wouldn’t be much.

I went back to asking the suicidal inmate while his blood pressure and pulse registered in the automatic machine. Both readings were normal.

“I’m not gonna’ send him out to the hospital. I don’t feel he ingested too much of that bleach he was claiming he did because the deputy told me that it wasn’t much from their Commissary. The vitals were all normal. I just wanted you to be aware,” I explained to the Charge Nurse who agreed with me.

“Do you have a problem in your unit?” I added before he was about to get up to be taken to a place where they house the suicidal inmates for closer observation.

“Yes!”

“Oh, okay. You want to tell me or your deputy?” the deputy now with both ears open and was near both of us, awaited for his response.

“People there are all murderers! I’m not a murderer! I don’t belong in that unit!”

The Charge Nurse heard the answer and that was why she exclaimed that he was just playing games.

“I’m still suicidal!” he responded with an annoyed tone of voice.

I knew he was just playing games the moment I started asking him questions. His behavior had given me a lot of clues. Even more toward the end, he gave me the true intention of his heart. But whether he was playing a game or not, his belief that he shouldn’t belong with other inmates who he thought were murderers would still make him feel low which could later drive him to intentionally inflict injury to himself.

“You may take him to Suicide Watch,” I advised the deputy as he took his cuffed hands and led him away from us.

This reminded me of how often I was like him. Pursuing what I wanted to happen in prayers, instead of seeking God's will for me often end up hurting me rather than helping me.

^"5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart
   and lean not on your own understanding;
⁶ in all your ways submit to him,
   and he will make your paths straight." - Proverbs 3:5,6 (NIV)