Just Doing A Duty

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I miss my work as I had been off to give myself some time away from all the hard times some people were treating me with. The problem at my workplace is never about work. It is always easy. The problem is always about the people there, clashing with personalities. Self-interests are proudly displayed. Vanities and personal assets are more valued. Gossip is always ever growing more like cancer cells. Positions and power are coveted in order to be respected.  Secret relationships thrive and love, even when it is the wrong kind, is boldly expressed among some of them.

After working in the prison system for many years, despite the condition, I have learned to adapt to it. This is the place where spiritually, I have grown. When God brought me here, it became one of tangible evidence of His presence in my life, knowing I wouldn’t be able to survive in this place without His help nor guidance and protection. Spiritually, many evil spirits are in this place: murder, lust, lying, fear, religiosity, pride and many other that are detestable to God.

As my battle with some people started, I never feared knowing the position I’m in because of what God has done. We all are winners if we have allowed Jesus to have a home in our hearts. And that is our duty as believers: to remain standing despite the evil days knowing that it is not our own effort that saves us. It is what Jesus had done for us. We are redeemed!!!

“When he had received the drink, Jesus said, "It is finished." With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.” –John 19:30 (NIV)

As I wait patiently for the Lord and His perfect timing, I am learning to reflect on so many things. Aside from Him taking me away from a particular group that does things that will never be beneficial to my spirit life, He is allowing me to nurse my own wound. He is making me learn to try to forgive no matter how deep the wound they create in my heart. Only then, I will be able to help others (inmates or co-workers)’ wounded hearts more effectively if I let my own wounds heal first. Healed by His love.

The truth is….we, as Christians never stop working daily. We have a duty to defend what we believe in. We must always be ready to defend our faith when we are mingling with those who don’t know Jesus.

“Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. “Do not fear their threats; do not be frightened.” But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect,  keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.  For it is better, if it is God’s will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil.  For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. He was put to death in the body but made alive in the Spirit.” – 1 Peter 3:13-18 (NIV)

Beautiful Feet

^"12 When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. “Do you understand what I have done for you?” he asked them. ¹³ “You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and rightly so, for that is what I am. ¹⁴ Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. ¹⁵ I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. ¹⁶ Very truly I tell you, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. ¹⁷ Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them." - John 13:12-17 (NIV)

I woke up all of a sudden at 1:00a.m. “Feet…” That was what came to a barely awoke mind. As some of you know, I had been going through a tough battle at work where people in positions wanted me out. Except, I knew the legal system and whether with man’s law and definitely with God’s law, I knew something was being violated from the start.

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I had been working part-time, night shifts for so many years. Trying desperately to make me quit, they seemed to be running out of schemes to give me a hard time in all areas. When I had emailed and had asked for my schedule, they moved me from being a night shift nurse to PM shift nurse, after days old of being just told that I was to be on an “off-duty” status. This was a threat that didn’t work.

As I reflected on the Lord’s Word this morning, He reminded me during this waiting period that I had been working with a specific crew at night that had been filled with so many detestable things. I never participated in their evil doings except maybe a few times, when it came to “joking around” that I knew was not pleasing to the Lord. This morning, He reminded me of that need that in my spiritual walk, I needed to surrender my “feet” and be washed by Him. Not just this morning, but daily.

“Lord, why are you going to wash my feet?” asked Simon Peter (John 13:6)

Jesus replied, “You don’t understand now why I am doing it; someday you will.” (John 13:7)

“No,” Peter protested, “You will never wash my feet!” (John 13:8)

Jesus replied, “But if I don’t wash you, you won’t belong to me.” (John 13:8)

Simon Peter exclaimed, “Then wash my hands and head as well, Lord, not just my feet!” (John 13:9)

Jesus replied, “A person who has bathed all over does not need to wash, except for the feet, to be entirely clean. And you are clean, but that isn’t true of everyone here.” (John 13:10)

Oh, how true with our spiritual walk that despite us being saved by Jesus, our feet still get smudged by the dirt of this world! How much we need for our feet to be cleansed by our Savior daily if we are willing to follow His example! Walking with Jesus in this faith journey we’re all in becomes more meaningful only if we include Him in our spiritual walks. Our missions are useless without Him. Our servant attitude is not a blessing if we are the ones glorified.

I am thankful that with the supervisors’ harmful intentions for me is actually beneficial as I’m being pulled away from bad influences, for how long is up to the Lord.

^“16 There are six things the LORD hates, seven that are detestable to him:  ¹⁷ haughty eyes,  a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, ¹⁸ a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil,  ¹⁹ a false witness who pours out lies and a person who stirs up conflict in the community.”

~ Proverbs 6:16-19 (NIV)

Oh Lord, thank You for always convicting our hearts. Thank You for showing You are very much in control of everything that goes on in our lives. Thank You Lord for Your direction and discernment through Your Word. Your Word that lasts forever. Thank You Lord for reminding me to repent daily and be cleansed by You. I want to have beautiful feet Lord but I can only achieve that with Your power working in me. Please fill us Lord with Your Holy Spirit and help us to live holy lives because You are a Holy God. I love you Lord. In Jesus' Name. Amen.


How about your feet? Are they following Jesus' walk in this narrow path? 

Anguish

"My soul is in anguish. How long, O LORD, how long?" - Psalm 6:3 (NIV)

I emailed my supervisor and the person who coordinates the schedule of the whole staff yesterday morning. I had taken a month off from work after so much harassment done. I felt I was like a puppet with them controlling the strings. Deep inside, I knew no one else held those strings but only One from the start. And if He controlled my life, it was because He only wanted what was best for me.

Yes, I anguish…Not because of this battle I had been going through against people in positions knowing that what they all did from the start was not right yet that was not enough to paralyze me. I anguish about the lies. I anguish about the abuse in their power. I anguish about the blind eyes that choose to find any negatives instead of reinforcing the positives. I anguish about the deaf ears that are not willing to listen to the truth. I anguish about the hunger for worldly power and selfish desires. I anguish about worldly wisdom that is foolish. I anguish about hearts full of pride, the self seeking ways, the rejection of those who are not willing to obey their hideous decisions. I anguish about their feet that are quick to commit evil acts.

But as I try to rest on the Lord’s wonderful promises, away from my work, only in Him I can find true comfort, contentment, happiness and joy and immense solace.

The Proverbs 31 Woman In My Life

"She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable,and her lamp does not go out at night.In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy." -Proverbs 31:17-20 (NIV)

Getting up each day before the sun rose, she would carefully lay out the material on the table and after drawing her pattern for that specific dress, she traced the lines precisely with her long-time trusted scissors. Her husband being away as he sailed other parts of the world, she became both the father and mother during those times. By sewing dresses and other things to wear, that was how she was able to help her husband with the family's financial needs. Her customers, barely picking up the finished dresses, were already giving her more materials for her to do. I never heard any complaints but all praises for her work.

I remembered seeing her cooking in between doing the trade she mastered. Good aromas from her food filled the small kitchen that fed six growing up children. Late at night, wearily, she retired to bed without any complaints, only to do the same things the following day. The more hunger she had to keep herself even busier to sustain her family’s needs. Her priority was for her children to finish their education.

I had seen her tears shed during the darkest of the nights and as she tried to face the toughest storms of life that she had to endure, minus my father’s physical help, I had seen her strengthened by her faith in God and her pleas for God’s mercy and help, instead. To the wooden pews in the church, she was quick to bend her knees and as she bowed her head, it seemed it took forever the way she uttered her prayers. I never understood it back then “why”…but at the latter years, I knew she interceded for each of her children.

My mother loved to help out others. She brought her home cooked meals to sick relatives, even to those who hurt her constantly and had said lies about her, she paid them back with what she could offer: her love and passion for cooking.

When she passed away, I couldn’t even ascend the stairs when I got home after 13 hours of flying. That was the only time I didn’t want to rush entering her house. Literally and figuratively, I had learned that day that we truly lost the “light of our home.”

I heard people whispered how some made fun of her as she shook people’s hands in the church as she took time with those she knew and she didn’t know. But when she died, everyone missed that gesture.

She was the biggest loss in my father’s and her children’s lives and we knew at that moment, no other could ever fill the hole she left in our hearts.

I know I could never be like my mother with those strong qualities she possessed: industrious, has strong integrity, very resourceful, and has strong faith in God. But she remains to be my inspiration, day after day. Successful or not, strong or weak, accomplished or not, I know she would always be proud of me and her other children no matter what.

She is that kind of mother who always believes in her children’s best after all. I love you mom, the Proverbs 31 woman in my life. I miss you more than ever!

"She is clothed with strength and dignity;she can laugh at the days to come.She speaks with wisdom,and faithful instruction is on her tongue.She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.Her children arise and call her blessed;her husband also, and he praises her:“Many women do noble things,but you surpass them all.”Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised." - Proverbs 31:25-30 (NIV)


Happy Mother's Day to you, mothers out there. And to you who have a heart like that of a mother's. Thank You God for giving us "mothers."