My Savior

“Our deepest calling is not to grow in our knowledge of God. It is to make disciples. Our knowledge will grow -- the Holy Spirit, Jesus promised, will guide us into all truth. But that's not our calling, it is His. Our calling is to prepare the world for Christ's return. The world is not ready yet. And so, we go about introducing a dying world to the Savior of Life. Anything we do toward our own growth must be toward that end.” - Jeffrey Bryant

Time felt it stood still behind that closed-door meeting. Facing three of them, two of which I didn’t have the knowledge of, they all talked amongst themselves. Aware of the specific request I did as the new memo came out, they acted as if they were there to help. All the wrong accusations poured in. Their planned answer to my request were written down on a specific form, appearing as if they would try to do their best to help me find what was best. Except the words written did not match what was spoken.

Thinking they would intimidate me, they tried to discourage me instead by instilling fear of what could lie ahead for my future. I stood silent, my eyes meeting their gaze that couldn’t stay to meet with mine for so long. Three against one. They felt power in their number. But they didn’t know something about me. I wasn’t alone. The whole time, Someone was with me Who saw and heard all the accusations, all the lies, and all their attacks that wanted to stop His work in me.

Discouragement…Fear…It’s always the enemies’ tactics to stop the work of God’s children. ("For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God's law; indeed, it cannot." - Romans 8:7). Just like what I’m facing at this time. But they will not be successful. I will continue to trust in His faithful love and promises. I know He is always with me. He is our Savior after all. He loves to save.

He finds the lost. He strengthens the weak. He frees the captives. He forgives not once but many, many times those who turn back to Him. He protects against enemies’ attacks. He gives hope and a future to those who loves Him. He gives eternal life to those who believes in Him. He promises to finish the work He starts in each believer’s life. He restores what’s broken.

The path that leads to Him is narrow. It is never easy. There are lots to overcome. But He promised that He is there walking with anyone who truly trusts and believes in Him. Injustices seem to prevail nowadays. We often ask, “Where are You, God?” The answer might not come quick. But it doesn’t mean He doesn’t hear. All actions produce an outcome. And so evil things committed will reap consequences and will not slip past God’s judgment. For everything happens in His perfect time.

We serve God Who is not passive. And I know by His grace, my own time to defend myself will come. They will be discouraged for their intentions behind that door will be exposed into His light. They will fear because they will realize how foolish their wisdom is compared to that of God's. As I pray, I needed to go into actions. I just pray that I won't miss His plan on this.

This battle I'm in is a long process. But I would rather remain on His side. He is the only Savior Whose promises I can rely on. No promises put out on the table in front of me could be trusted. They were immediately broken because of their evil desires. But they would never discourage nor scare me. Because of my Savior Who continues to love, protect, save, bless and empowers me. I know….because He is in me…
"And my spirit rejoices in God my Savior," - Luke 1:47

Laughter

“My left arm hurts!” she yelled through the glass partition window that separated us.

“I already know that, Ma’am,” I replied without any bit of concern.

“You’re not going to send me to the hospital?” she queried.

“Not at all,” I confidently answered.

“My face now is getting numb!” she yelled again.

“Just have a sit and relax! That’s all you need to do.” I ordered.

Pacing back and forth in the small area of the Clinic’s waiting room, oblivious to her, I watched intently with my spying eyes from a distance as I pretended to continue working in the computer. She was walking normally going in and out of the bathroom when she thought no one was watching her.

I got up in between and asked, “So, how are you now?”

“Still hurts! You need to send me to the hospital. They need to give me something for pain!”

“Just RELAX! Here, take this cup and drink water!”

“Ma’am, it’s cold here! Can I get a blanket?”

“No! Because this is a waiting area. That was the reason why the nurses earlier had sent you back to your unit because it would be more comfortable there. They were not able to do anything further like me at this time because our doctor had already given you something for pain.” I explained.

“But you need to send me to the hospital!”

“I’m sorry. This is the last time I am going to explain to you that you don’t need to say that to us! We know when we need to send you to the hospital! You saw that your blood pressure and everything else was normal! There’s nothing wrong with you but you need to relax because of your anxiety. You’re letting it consume you.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize. I had told you earlier that another nurse had already referred you to our Mental Health Services. Our medical doctor can’t do anything about your anxiety because it has to be the Mental Health Doctor who needs to see you. Just be patient and try to relax. I know it’s not easy on your part.”

And she sat quietly, curled up on one of the blue chairs in the waiting area. Her demands ended and she was thinking deeply. She knew she couldn’t get away with all the complaints she faked, no matter how hard she tried.

Just like so many incarcerated inmates who are suffering from anxiety and other mental health problems, we all can try to relax and amidst our sorrows, we can find that time to laugh and energize our spirits. I thought about Sarah who laughed after being told by God that she would have a son despite her old age. Or how about people who found that freedom that comes from Him?

“When the LORD restored the fortunes of Zion,
   we were like those who dreamed.
 Our mouths were filled with laughter,
   our tongues with songs of joy.” - Psalm 126:1-2

When we abide by Truth and Spirit, we must be careful to look at His Word about laughter. We shouldn’t change His Word to conform to what we experience but rather conform to God’s ways.

When was the last time you really had a good laughter? I saw this cute baby and what made him laugh was so simple but listen to the baby’s pure joy. God bless.

"A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;"
- Ecclesiastes 3:4

Victory in Jesus

"But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ." - 1 Corinthians 15:57 (NIV)

I glanced again and again. Reading those words written by my own hands many years ago. I didn’t mind the heat of the sun’s rays hitting my left side of face through a slightly-cracked window. Inside my car, I quietly rejoiced. I didn’t need anything anymore. God had told me to get this paper resting on the palm of my hands as I sorted page after page. So simple thing but was His way of exposing those lies they had accused me of.

“Who would have thought but You?” I softly asked.

My eyes welled up with tears. There was just no right word to express my gratitude to my Father Who desired a relationship with me, through His Son Jesus Christ. He wanted all of us to be victors not victims. He wanted all of us to soar not to fall. He wanted all of us healed not sick. He wanted all of us to be strong, not weak. But His desire wouldn’t be effective if our hearts choose not to obey. If we choose to be self-absorbed. If we choose to remain attached to the things of this world.

He freely grants us that “freedom to choose”, for His love is unconditional. And the trials we all face in this temporary place we inhabit will never be bigger than our Father Who loves us first.

We can choose to live victoriously amidst all of these trials we face. Because of what Christ had done. There is nothing in our lives that He doesn’t know. He already knows even before we know it.

I turned the ignition on, as I continued to thank His everlasting kindness. I knew this was another “faith marker” He proved as I met these little bumps on the road I was walking on. He proved time and time again that He truly would never forsake His children. The problem would never be Him. The problem would always be me who has the tendency to always walk away from Him. But He remains patient. He remains forgiving. He loves to show His mercy.

I realized and wanted to know why my battle had to happen now after so many years? But why even ask? What’s the worth of asking when God already planned this? The bottom line rests on my heart’s willingness to continue to be a broken vessel ready to be moved by God to where He wants me to be.I will just hope that I am Christ's letter other lost ones can read.

“Daddy,” I told my husband over the phone.

“I have His victory! Praise the Lord!”

But in that moment of triumphs, even greater was the sadness I felt for those who loved to hurt others. Those who don’t know how to act in love because they don’t know the One and only Savior. Jesus…

I was never afraid the moment this trial started for me. Knowing Jesus would pick me up right away where I fall. Knowing He is holding my hand no matter where it brings me. Knowing He is my Greatest Shepherd protecting this once lost sheep before. Knowing that He is leading me to another place of greater opportunity, more spiritual growth and Him taking me away from those things that hinder my walk with Him.

I want to thank you my beloved friends for always encouraging me and praying for me always. It means a lot and at this time, please forgive me if sometimes I may not be able to visit you but just know that you are all in my heart. I always thank God for all of you and keep you in my prayers also.

In all of this, to God be the glory forever and ever in all ages to come. Please let us pray for each other everyday.

This was a song He gave me on June 19, 2003 as my family and I were also going through a trial but ended up in His victory!

Come and Seek the Lord

No matter how tough the trials that come your way

No matter how much they break your heart today

Fill your hearts instead with joy

Knowing Jesus is there for us all

Chorus:

Come and seek the Lord (3x)

For He had overcome the world

No matter how much pain and suffering

No matter how heavy the burden they bring

Trust in the Lord it will be okay

For He will show us the way

(Repeat Chorus)

Only In Jesus

I bowed my head and closed my eyes as our church family sang in chorus yesterday. I wanted to savor every word as we sang “In Christ Alone”. Wishing I could freeze time, as I fell down at His feet and my heart, absorbing the truth in each lyrics.

“You are indeed good to us Father,” I softly whispered.

“Forgive me for those times when I forget that when I worry, that means I don’t trust You. Thank You Lord for Your love, Your mercy and grace.”

Illness? Financial difficulties? At the verge of losing a precious relationship? Trapped in destructive habits? Taking pleasure from things that do not satisfy?

What is each of us facing now? Do you truly know Jesus?

Let us go to Him and truly surrender. Not just once but every day. If Jesus placed the sins of the world on Him, what else could He not take away from us?

Let us “Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.” ~Psalm 34:8