I Want To Be Like Jesus

"Love does no wrong to anyone, so love satisfies all of God's requirements." ~ Romans 13:10

I was trying not to be blinded by my teary eyes as I steadied my gaze on the road, covered with darkness.

"How could she say that to me?" I thought to myself.

My friend had a lot on her plate. I usually visit her to help out in anyway I could. To be there if she needed to vent out about the ills from her work and other pressures dragging her, some continuing to wound her heart.

Her silence in the car as we were running errands stabbed my heart.

"What's wrong?" I queried to break the ice.

"Nothing's wrong!" she replied with a sure tone. More silence ensued.

Going back to their house, that was when she blew up and accused me that I always assumed things when she wasn't talking.

I found myself raising my voice and told her I couldn't read her mind so maybe that was why I always assumed because she treated me with silence.

But she retorted that she always was complaining to me that she chose to do so. Though I never complained I got tired of hearing her problems, even if they were told over and over.

She accused me of not even asking how she felt because she had a lot of things in her mind. I didn't. Because I was nursing my own wounds. I was recalling my dad's death anniversary that day and my mom's today. I didn't even dare tell her knowing she was going through a lot. That I didn't think of my own misery as important as hers. But she didn't know that.

I tried not to answer anymore knowing that in anger, I might have answered words that I didn't want to regret later. She didn't like my silence then. So, I chose to go home and sped away which drove her more mad.

I didn't like feeling that way. Angry and the situation not resolved. I knew this would come to pass. But later on, the more it hurt me. Knowing how precious each day is. And to spend day to day with either family or loved ones and friends having a wall in between is just not a good situation to see everyday.

Then I saw Christ's hands...through the wet blurriness soaking my pillow...Those precious hands healed. Did miracles. Blessed little ones. Washed disciples' feet. Spread out to be nailed. Not only to pay for humanity's sins. But to remind His followers to "stop thinking the way this world thinks...which is being selfish." His hands spread out to intersect the "I" part of the cross.

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Living my life is not about "me". It's truly all about Jesus.

No matter who hurt you, no matter who is right, who is wrong, Jesus is demanding us, as believers, to always pay back with love. We are permanently in debt to Christ for the love He has given us. And the only way to repay Him is by loving others in return. May we use our hands like Him, to serve others because a strong faith with lack of work is a way of not doing Christ's work.

"Lord, I want to be like You. Forgive me for the times that I forget Who I represent in this dark world. Help me Lord to show my love for You by helping me forgive others easily and loving them the way You do. Father, I want to be like Jesus...In His Holy Name. Amen."

Moving The Mountain

I'm linking this post with "In Other Words Tuesday". Please join us at “In Other Words Tuesday” hosted by sister Debbie, where she brought up a great topic about prayer and faith. May you be encouraged and your mustard size faith grow even more! Thank you sister Debbie…

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2 cotton balls, each secured with a piece of clear tape marked 2 spots on the inmate’s right arm. I was aiming for my 3rd attempt to get the needed blood specimen for his lab work.

“You have good veins. For some reason, they roll and they are not giving me the blood,” I sighed. It was not easy for him to be sitting on the plastic chair, as he kept adjusting his right arm, for the veins to be visible for me as I applied the tourniquet. His hands were held together by the metal handcuff, as the unit deputy stood guard by the small Clinic’s door.

He was in for robbery and some other crimes. His face marked with scattered pimples, a kind of breakout resulting from drug habits and familiar to the medical staff. His bilateral arms were colorfully adorned with different kinds of tattoos which even made spotting the veins harder, obscured by the permanent ink.

This was a crucial time for me. Trying not to make this inmate angry with the multiple needle sticks. I needed to make this final blood draw. I needed it to make him remain calm. I needed the specimen because the doctor ordered it for the result to be “stat” [as soon as possible].

Time stood still as I applied the tourniquet once more on his right arm. Asking him to keep pretending his right hand was squeezing a ball, some of the veins became more prominent. I tried not to get excited knowing his veins were tricky. As I opened a small packet of alcohol wipe and rubbed the area I chose, he moved his position and loudly uttered:

“Ma’am, you’re doing okay. You got my veins and sorry if they are not cooperating,” he stated, as he tried to roll his arm to make the area I chose to be more accessible.

“Lord, help me,” I prayed in my mind…”You can get this. Not me….”

The small needle went through a distended vein. A slow flow of red blood returned into the tubing toward a tiny vial marked blue and started collecting. I breathed a sigh of relief.

“I told you. You’ll get it!” he added.

As I marked the vial with his name and my initials, he got up and I thanked him and wished him a great day. I felt the victory that came upon getting that tiny sample. But I knew it wasn’t my technique that made it possible to get that specimen. It was the inmate’s faith on me despite the exhausting process at the beginning for both of us. His faith and trust made the difference for that final stick and my silent prayer filled with faith knowing that He could hear me. Anytime. Anywhere.

“Faith does move mountain.” But the mountain should not be our trials, but Jesus… Jesus mentioned about how faith as small as a mustard seed can move a mountain. Nothing will be impossible to tell the mountain move from here to there as long as we have even this mustard size faith. It seems like the mustard seed faith can accomplish a great feat if we know where to place that faith.

I always place my prayers with faith on God Who is full of compassion, love, grace, and mercy, knowing that through His Mountain, Jesus Christ, can stir Him and make Him intervene in any situation. God’s Mountain always encourages me and gives me the hope, strength, comfort, protection and guidance I need as I walk in different dark valleys. The valleys are the places where my faith grows and where many prayers are constantly being uttered. It’s obvious that when I pray, my fears wane, my worries disappear, or my life’s storms are being calmed down. Prayers laden with faith do change things but the first to change is me. Deep inside…Where doubts do not exist. Where bumps on the road I’m walking on are seen not as hindrances but opportunities for more growth. In times of adversity, faith keeps me strong and helps me be unmoved. No matter what circumstances surround me, faith brings me an inner joy and peace. Because now I know, the Mountain is always there, looking down on me, giving me hope, as It sees me with my own struggles in the valleys. For without hope there is no faith…

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“But you have come to Mount Zion and to the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem, to an innumerable company of angels, to the general assembly and church of the firstborn who are registered in heaven, to God the Judge of all, to the spirits of just men made perfect, to Jesus the Mediator of the new covenant, and to the blood of sprinkling that speaks better things than that of Abel.” ~ Hebrews 12:22-28 [emphasis mine]...

When Prayers Are Answered With His Questions

"Then the Lord spoke to Job out of the storm. He said: "Who is this that obscures my plans with words without knowledge? Brace yourself like a man; I will question you, and you shall answer me." ~ Job 38:1-3

I sort of dread going to work tomorrow. Not that I am not grateful for this job, but just maybe tired of it. Tired of the same problems. Tired of the same scenarios like gossiping, seeing lazy workers, and even dealing with inmates who fake their illnesses. Do you go through times like that? Perhaps, the once extraordinary becomes a rut.

The Internet service had been down a while ago. A blessing in disguise. As I resorted to reading His Word. And praying. Knowing that He’s got the best plan for our future, still…I didn’t feel like going to work tomorrow.

Funny how sometimes we try to ask the Lord and He answers with questions, too.Kind of like when He asked Job with rapid succession, showing His infinite wisdom against Job's limited knowledge. It led to Job's repentance, who admitted his inability to answer God and that, he humbly acknowledged God's ability to do everything.

“Why don’t you want to go there tomorrow?”  I could hear Him asking me that way.

I knew He knew the answer. For He could see everything. But the hard part was the answer from me. I didn’t know what to say. Except deep inside, I knew He wanted me to be there. To bring His light to the dark prison. To see the beauty despite the ugly things. To remain positive not be negative. To make a difference as His ambassador and not go with the things of this world. That is….if I’m willing to listen and obey.

If you’re going through a tough time and your hearts’ desires are not being answered, but rather with more questions, may this video [a little long but worth it] inspire you as the Lord led me to this:

His Favor Lasts Forever

"Diseases of the soul are more dangerous and more numerous than those of the body." ~Cicero

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Back in October, I was hesitant to get the flu shot when it came to our work. Being sensitive to allergens, I was not sure if I would be okay despite knowing the virus had been killed in the vaccine. But realizing I have a family to go home to, I didn't want them to get any flu or H1N1 if ever I would be exposed as I was considered among the high-risk groups.

2 weeks later, I started not feeling well. Attributing it to the Santa Ana weather we had been experiencing, I just didn't feel good. Sans the symptoms of flu like coughing or fever, I was just fatigued and the gland on the right side of my neck hurt and I started having ear pain and right jaw pain. I did go to Urgent Care and the 3-day course antibiotics didn't help much later.

Back to the primary doctor I went and he was cautious to put me on a week long antibiotics. I still didn't feel good and this past weekend, I almost went to ER as I felt that pain on the right side got worse. But being so tired from this weekend's work, I ended up succumbing back to sleep and fell asleep uttering my petition, believing in His healing.

The following day, which was yesterday, Tuesday, I was a new person! I still believed that I must have reacted to the vaccine as viral illnesses typically last for weeks. And antibodies usually start developing [nurses out there, please correct me if I'm wrong!] 2 weeks after a shot of vaccine is given. I figured that was the time it took when I felt ill since getting the flu shot.

Why am I blogging about this you might ask? It's because the good effects of the vaccine still is something to look forward to, despite the discomfort one may or may not have. The resistance will last for a long time which still made it worth for me to get that shot!

This morning, God showed me Psalm 30. He reminded me that like that shot, God's anger can be uncomfortable for us because He warns us to turn away from sins. He wants us to know and accept His love and forgiveness so that we can feel the eternal effects His love and grace brings. He wants us to know that His love is much greater than His anger against sins. "Thank You Lord for Your healing, physically and spiritually!"

"O Lord my God, I cried out to you for help, and you restored my health." ~ Psalm 30:2

"Sing to the Lord, all you godly ones!
Praise his holy name.
His anger lasts for a moment,
but his favor lasts a lifetime!
Weeping may go on all night,
but joy comes with the morning." ~ Psalm 30:4,5