It Was A Tactic

“Deputy…it was…just….a…court…ah…you know….. 'tactic!'” whispered the tall, heavy set woman through the big, window glass partition that separated her from me and the Infirmary deputy.

“Ahhh! There you go! Tactic? What do you mean? You lied thinking that it would make the judge feel sorry for you so you can’t be here?” replied the deputy, in a louder tone.

“Guess what? I’m going to write what you just told me in front of your jacket when you go to court so the judge will know!”

She looked slightly nervous after that short conversation. She was refusing her morning accucheck earlier with me. After hearing the deputy, she took the tiny needle I offered and poked her finger and decided to check her blood sugar. Without saying anything. As if she was thinking what to do then when she had to face the judge.

Few days ago, she walked into the jail, claiming she was pregnant. When she first got to Intake, the Intake Nurse couldn’t get a urine sample to test her for pregnancy because she refused and said that she was not able to provide a sample at that time. As nurses had no choice but follow the protocols to keep the health care going. The nurse started her on pregnant diet where she would get an extra meal at night, that others would not get, except the insulin-dependent diabetics. A yellow band was placed on her left wrist to identify her as “pregnant” for those urgent needs or medical emergencies. She was placed on prenatal vitamins daily, which she swallowed every time it was given to her. She was given a special housing, on a bottom bunk, bottom tier, which was hard to find nowadays as more sickly inmates were being booked in.

Until the follow-up care during nursing sick call came.

“Will you please send Miss C. so I can test her if she’s really pregnant?” requested one of the LVN’s to the unit’s bubble [control].

“Oh yeah! She is sooooo big! Ready to pop anytime!” answered the one who took her phone call.

But the test was negative. A blood draw was done. It was negative. All the things being given to her were taken away from her. Because the result was clear. She was not pregnant!!!

That was what she was trying to explain to the deputy that morning. It was her tactic to lie, thinking that being in such a state would make the judge change his/her mind and give her compassion so that she would not spend her days in the jail for the crime she committed. But with her lying, she then knew, her sentence would be longer….

As true followers of the Lord, we don’t have to think about many tactics to change the Judge’s decision on our wrongdoings. He knows. Period. We can’t hide anything from Him. Our actions should be filled with light, not darkness. We are His light’s reflectors. So it is important that we must avoid the deeds of evil.

“Try to find out what is pleasing to the Lord. Take no part in the worthless deeds of evil and darkness; instead, rebuke and expose them. It is shameful even to talk about the things that ungodly people do in secret. But when the light shines on them, it becomes clear how evil these things are. And where your light shines, it will expose their evil deeds.” ~ Ephesians 5:10-13

We don’t need to lie to win God’s favor. He is God of compassion. He is God of love. He is God of mercy. He is God of grace. His great love for us led Him to sacrifice His Son. So we can live. Like children who imitate their parents, that’s the key. We must follow God’s example in everything that we do [Ephesians 5:1]….



Lord, help me to seek You first. Help me to start my day with You. Help me to end my day with You. Help me to know Your things Lord because I know that every time I discover one thing from You, I am deprived of the things of this world. And You don't belong here. As Your children, we don't belong here. Thank You Lord for everything that You have done. And continue to do for me [us]. Help me draw nearer to You. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

Coming Together

“Nurse Rcubes, do you mind going inside our med room to see the deputy there with a question?” asked one of our LVN’s.

“Sure. What’s wrong?” I asked.

“You’ll see. Someone else was talking to him already. But I want your opinion,” she replied.

He was at the prime of his life, maybe early 20’s. Sitting on one of the chairs, I saw him lifting up his pant’s legs, baring his shin area and near the ankles to 4 pairs of nursing staff’s eyes. The fifth which was mine.

“I was out hunting couple of days ago. They just appeared like that. But they don’t itch or anything,” he explained with a slight anxiety that I sensed.

He had a few scattered red bumps on those areas. They didn’t look like bug bites to me. No one was saying anything except most of them told him that it must be a kind of bug bite. But because he wasn’t itching, they didn’t want to give him any cream for allergy or itching.

“Go to ER!” my suggestion cutting through that period of short silence.

“Why ER?” questioned the other nurse.

“Just because….” I replied. “They don’t look like bites to me. But I wouldn’t wait to see your primary doctor for things like that. It’s better that a doctor who might have seen something like that would know the cause of your bumps right away and can appropriately order the necessary blood works.”

The young, robust deputy grew quieter. I thought I saw him tried to swallow as if there was a big lump in his throat. His anxious face becoming more apparent. He got up and thanked all of us. I saw him walked as if he was dragging his legs.

“I hope you feel better,” I hollered as I let him out of the Infirmary.

The LVN who called me grabbed my arm when he was gone. She pulled me into a vacant examination room and started relating a story, as if it was a secret.

“Nurse Rcubes…He had cancer [I purposely didn’t want to disclose the kind] and was already treated. He was so afraid to come and ask us about what we thought of those rashes. That’s why I called you. No one seemed to know but I wanted your opinion, too. Now, he is more afraid that it had come back. You’re the only one who told him to go to ER. And that validated what he was feeling.” she kept going on and on.

“Oh, no!” I exclaimed. “I hope I didn’t scare him by saying that.”

“No! Don’t worry about it. He actually was thanking you. It was like you gave him the push to see the doctor sooner. Because it was like he was in denial.”

“You know why I said that?” “It was just a gut feeling. Now, I’m sad for him. To know his condition. He is too young. But I will keep him in my prayers,” I uttered as I ended our secret conversation.

Current update: Deputy S. is now out on a medical leave. It was confirmed that his cancer came back and on stage 4. Some deputies started making fund raising by selling t-shirts and other events. I bought 3 t-shirts but gave extra money for their cost. I wished I could have given him more. Knowing he needs a lot of financial help. He is a newly-hired deputy. He doesn’t have a lot of sick time. And now, he can’t even go to work. A lot of money was raised immediately. That’s what I heard this weekend when I went to work. We are all hurting for him. Because it’s like a big family. When one deputy or staff is hurting, everybody feels that pain. But for the one who is suffering the most, we can show that we share their pain. Through prayers or any help we can extend, to be able to reach out to their needs, even if they are not asking for help, will surely lighten their load.

How true it is with Christ’s family. His body. Us! By coming together, our trials seem to be lighter. The one suffering can be comforted to know that he/she is not alone in overcoming any trial. God has started a specific work in each of us. How beautiful it is to see if we are all working together in harmony, working together for His glory! United in God’s love. United in Christ's love.

“How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity!” ~ Psalm 133:1




Please pray for Deputy S. for the Lord’s miraculous healing to cover him. And the most important of all, for him to know and accept God’s gift of salvation. The Lord knows his needs. Thank you all for always encouraging me. I am blessed to have met you all and I pray for the Lord to bless you more. Even in this blogging community, it is a wonderful experience to have met wonderful friends/brothers/sisters like you. Wonderful when we are united in His love. Glory to God for His faithfulness and all the blessings He gives us.

True Freedom

Sorry friends if I haven’t been visiting you all in a while. I took a break and just enjoyed some precious time with my family. I also sought the Lord as sometimes, I felt lagging with my walk with Him. I knew it was time for me to get that needed break and let Him rejuvenate me.

As I go back to work tonight, back to the darkness that goes on day in, day out behind those thick prison walls, I am reminded of this precious air of freedom I enjoy here outside. What a great way to remember July 4, Independence Day, than to think about the gift of freedom Jesus had given us. Freedom that is not confined in a space. Nor short-lived. Freedom that can not be divided. Freedom that cannot be taken away once we accept it. Freedom that makes us see the truth that we do not belong to this world. To realize that truth that we have brothers and sisters inside the prison system. That we have brothers and sisters facing death in those dangerous nations when they preach the Good News to those who haven’t heard about the Lord Jesus. That we are all children of God and must be living in unity instead of having divisions among His body.

“So Christ has really set us free. Now make sure that you stay free, and don’t get tied up again in slavery to the law.” - Galatians 5:1

Christ indeed set us free! But not to do whatever we want because that makes us go back into slavery to our selfish desires. Instead, we must live unselfishly.

This past vacation my family and I had, we wanted to go to those favorite places we loved. Like camping by the beaches. Kayaking. We even planned to go to Ronald Reagan’s library. But we didn’t have those opportunity. However, we were filled with unexplainable joy just by being together.

It was because we enjoy more than what we know here in USA: freedom of speech, freedom of religion, etc…We enjoy the true freedom that comes from Christ alone: freedom from sin, freedom from its eternal consequences, freedom from hopelessness and despair and freedom from death.

I truly admired and liked the way President Ronald Reagan had led this nation during his term. He came in when the economy was not at its best. But he was able to overcome all those challenges and showed his great leader ability, though he was an actor. I didn’t see him as an actor. I didn’t see him as a president. I saw him as a man of God, who always revealed his trust and faith in One God and Who made him to be who he was at that time: a great president! God bless you all and may you remember what Christ had done for each of us not only on July 4, but in everyday of our lives. To God be the glory!

The Wounded One

He was quiet the whole time…I wasn’t sure if he was contemplating on why he resisted his arrest and perhaps, regretting the way he did. Or he was in so much pain that his remaining strength waned at every passing second, as each wound bled and throbbed with pain.

I had everything ready in front of me: gauze, saline, wound cleanser, antibiotics, a sterile pack for wound care and some pain-relievers I had stashed in a small, tan envelope. He was screened by the Intake Nurse after being treated at the hospital. But as he was walking toward the unit where he would be housed, his wounds started bleeding. So, the deputy brought him to the Clinic and had us evaluated them again.

His left shin was swollen. The metal part of a baton etched on it, as it started to become bluish. He showed me his right elbow. There was a big abrasion that bled a little. His face, slightly swollen on the left cheek. He looked embarrassed at the same time. Not wanting to answer the deputy’s queries on what he did that precipitated the officers to hit him.

I wasn’t paying attention to their one-sided conversation. I was looking at each wound, thinking how it wasn’t even open but he looked like he was already in so much pain. And a scenery flashed in my mind that dated back thousands of years ago. When one man, sinless, was hit hard though no crime was ever committed by him. He knew this needed to happen. He had many wounds from being whipped. His head pierced with a crown of thorns. His hands and feet pierced by the nails. His side pierced by the Roman soldier. He wasn’t a felon. He was God’s only Son. Willed to die on the cross to pay for humanity’s sins. He is Jesus…..God has no obligation to save any of us. But because He loves us, He sent Jesus to take away the sins of the world…The punishment paid…by Jesus’ blood. The sentence no longer applies. And God raised Jesus from the dead. And the death sentence has been lifted from mankind, too.

“Everyone dies because all of us are related to Adam, the first man. But all who are related to Christ, the other man, will be given a new life.” ~ 1 Corinthians 15:22

But for us to be given eternal life, we must choose to believe in Jesus and repent for our sins and make Him the Lord of our lives. “You can enter God’s Kingdom only through the narrow gate. The highway to hell is broad, and its gate is wide for the many who choose the easy way. But the gateway to life is small, and the road is narrow, and only a few ever find it.” ~ Matthew 7:13-14
Do you know Jesus? Yes, the One wounded many years ago….The One Who died for you and me…