The Reason I Wasn't Scared

“Security is not the absence of danger, but the presence of God, no matter what the danger.” [Thinkexist.com]

“You’re it! Sorry…” uttered the Charge Nurse as I was just arriving at work last night.

“Why?” I asked with a puzzled look.

“I don’t feel good, so I’m going home…”

“You’re ‘it’” meant I would be the Charge Nurse when she planned on leaving. She didn’t look good but she knew the responsibilities she was putting on my plate was enormous last night. She has not been feeling well but chose to come in, only to leave. That was difficult though. Because that would mean that she was shortening our number of staff to only me and just another nurse. Covering the entire correctional facility that housed 3,000 something inmates. That was huge! Not including the other jails in different cities that relied on us for any medical decisions.

I took a deep breath after she gave me the report. Everybody was feeling the tension at first as they knew it wasn’t easy what was being passed on to me. Yet, they saw me accepted it with calmness. I could have gotten upset. But my Big Boss reminded me “to be slow to anger“ [Psalm 145:8]. I could have vented out my complaint of that “being unfair”. But my Boss left a memo in my heart that He would “fight for me and I just needed to be still [Exodus 14:13]. I could have raised a white flag surrendering to the night’s massive piled up workload but my Boss insisted that I “shouldn‘t be afraid for He would help me…” [Isaiah 41:13].

And as promised that He would never leave us nor forsake us, the night went by smoothly despite the mountains of work. Everything was done before our night shift ended. There was a call-off but I managed to re-distribute the day’s staffing and had another nurse float to that facility that needed coverage.

I want to share and remind you, this is the reason why I continue to have courage working in this dark place:


　

Lord, thank You for always being there with me. Thank You for replacing my fears with courage. Thank You for replacing my weakness with Your strength. Thank You for replacing my complaints to gratitude. Thank You for covering me and my workplace with Your peace, despite the chaos I faced, along with my co-workers. Thank You for guiding me with Your wisdom to face those things that otherwise would have given me doubts and confusions. Thank You for giving me discernment to know what was the right attitude versus the wrong attitude. Glory to You Oh Lord. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

For other encouraging posts, please head over to Spiritual Sundays, hosted by sisters Ginger and Charlotte. God bless.

I Can Hear And See You!

"Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know." ~Jeremiah 33:3, NIV [emphasis mine].


He was crawling on the floor. Toward the slightly hidden toilet in a corner where he vomited. As other drunk bodies either ignored his behavior or just didn’t have a clue, too, to what was going on around each one of them. Deputies took turn. To write on the logs to make sure that everyone was okay. And my signature was in each of those logs, too. Writing down my observation. Making sure there were no obvious signs of health problems.

“Are you okay, Mr. M.?” I yelled through a thick glass partition window. He just glanced at me. And gave me a mean look. As if I bothered him to his short journey, moving inch to inch from the door toward that corner.

Then, more arrestees came. I glanced at my watch: “2:30 a.m.” That was the usual time when it would get busy at the prison’s Intake. When officers’ cars would start piling up outside the yard to bring their “arrested males or females”.

I was screening someone when a loud banging started on the glass window.

“Stop it!” yelled one of our own deputies.

“Bam! Bam! Bam!” I looked and saw Mr. M. doing sign language, with his right thumb and index finger, giving invisible puffs to his widely-opened mouth, holding his invisible inhaler.

“Nurse! I need an inhaler!” he yelled.

“Bam! Bam! Bam!”

“Didn’t I tell you to stop banging the window?” yelled the deputy another time.

“Nurse! Nurse! Bam! Bam! Bam!” I just looked calmly and finished questioning the arrestee in front of me. As I got done, I held the others waiting in line and went really quick to talk to Mr. M. who ignored me earlier. Holding an oxygen saturation monitor, the deputy opened a tiny metal door so he could put his fingers out and I took his oxygen level: 97% [which was great!].

“Take a deep breath!” I commanded. There were no audible wheezes.

“Just rest, Mr. M. I’m sorry that I can’t give you an inhaler. You’re obviously not having any asthma attacks and you are to be released in a few hours. It is our policy not to medicate those who are being released…And stop banging on the window. I can hear you and see you!” I explained.

And the banging continued after my assessment. He was mad at me for not giving him an inhaler. He kept calling for my attention when he knew that I already heard him and that I was right there so near to his cell the whole time. As he became more sober, the banging of the window lessened and he became more cooperative. I saw him let out of his cell to gather his belongings. Yes, he was freed. But one of these days, I knew I would hear him call “nurse!” again. He was trapped in the cycle of alcohol abuse. He had forgotten his own medical needs while he enjoyed his drinking. But one day, when caught again, and surely he wouldn’t be having fun locked up without his bottle, that would be the time when he would remember he has asthma.
I could just hear: “Nurse! Nurse! Bam! Bam! Bam!”…

“Lord, forgive us for the times that we forget you when everything is going great in our lives. Then, when things go wrong, that’s when some of us start calling Your Name out loud, wanting Your attention, Your help. Thank You that You are always forgiving, always waiting faithfully for those of us who have strayed so far from You. Thank You for loving us unconditionally. In Jesus’ Name. Amen”

From the video:
Man: “It has passed too much time…since I forgot Jesus…Would He ever listen to me if I call on Him now?…J…e…s…u…s… Jesus..”

Jesus: “My children rejoice! This is the old voice that I’ve wished to listen to so much for a long time…”

Not By Keeping The Law

“Repentance is a grace of God’s Spirit whereby a sinner is inwardly humbled and visibly reformed.” ~ Thomas J. Watson, Sr.


“Rcubes…What are you giving up this year?” asked a co-worker as I was putting the doctor’s orders in the computer.

“Excuse me?” I asked, not quite sure what she meant by that.

“It’s Lent…What are you giving up? Food? Shopping?” intruded another co-worker in our conversation.

“Ohhh…” I said as I finally got what she meant by that questionnaire.

“I gave up everything long time ago to Christ,” I replied. Both of them with a perplexed look, not comprehending then what those words meant.

I kept working and my mind was busy. I was grateful that God had provided a way of salvation. Through Jesus Christ. Knowing that we are all infected by sin. And we cannot save ourselves with our own efforts.

And now, as followers of Christ, we must continue to keep guarding this truth against the temptation of using service, good deeds, giving, and any other effort as a substitute for faith.

“19 For when I tried to keep the law, I realized I could never earn God’s approval. So I died to the law so that I might live for God. I have been crucified with Christ. 20 I, myself, no longer live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. 21 I am not one of those who treats the grace of God as meaningless. For if we could be saved keeping the law, then there was no need for Christ to die.” ~ Galatians 2:19-21

Shhh...

[photo:juiceddesign.net]

“Why won’t you guys listen to me? I don’t deserve this! I was the one who got hit and this cop arrested me!” yelled a drunk female arrestee, with buckets of tears freely-flowing down her flushed cheeks.

“Shh…Calm down, Ma’am. I need you to be quiet so I can hear your blood pressure,” I softly commanded.

“No! It’s so unfair!” she continued to yell at the top of her lungs as both of her arms were immobilized by 2 female deputies.

After the machine was not able to get a blood pressure reading, I got 160/100 using the manual cuff.

“Sorry, Officer…I can’t admit her. Her blood pressure is too high and she needs to be examined at the ER,” I informed the arresting cop.

He knew I had been patient with his arrestee. He didn’t say anything for a minute. Then, came a request:

“Ma’am, will you please give me a chance to talk to her and let her calm down a little bit? Please?”…He knew every minute was important for the nurses at the prison. There was no time for that. Either we would okay for their arrestees to stay in the jail or not. Simple as that.

But seeing how agitated this drunk woman was, and having a little bit of quiet time on the male side, I agreed. I heard the cop let out a sigh. Sigh of relief.

Talked to her, he did. But it wasn’t working. She became more agitated, seeing his face and being reminded of her “unfair arrest” [her own opinion]. I intervened…

“Ma’am…do you want to go home sooner?”

“Yes! Because I don’t belong here!” her answer penetrating my ear drums with an uproar.

“Shh...Okay, then. Why don’t you relax and just calm down! They will just wait out until you get sober. If you remain calm and just listen to them, you will be released in a few hours. However, if you choose not to, the longer you are going to stay here!” I replied.

She didn’t say anything. Tears continued to flow. But silence ensued for a few minutes.

“There you go! Why don’t you take a deep breath!” And she obeyed…Sensing she was more relaxed after a few minutes, I rechecked her blood pressure: “140/90”. A more acceptable reading. I grabbed my pen and signed the health screen form so she could be processed. The cop shouted with joy and thanked me for being so patient and giving him another chance.

“You don’t need to thank me. I saw that from the beginning. She needed to just be still and relax,” I told the officer.

So many distractions here in this planet. Distractions that take away our attention and time that should be spent on seeking God. Life is unfair we say, but the reason is not because God does not hear our prayers. It is not because He is so far away. It is because we don’t often pause nor give time to listen to His voice. It is because we don’t seek that place of rest where we can meet Him.

He longs to talk to us. He longs for us to seek Him first. He wants us to put Him as number 1 in our lives. In our hearts. In our minds. But we never see it that way. We are either too distracted or our pride meter is running high…It is time to pause. Time to take a deep breath. Time to be still. Time to know that there is only one God Who loves us first.