Take Us Out Of The Dark



Ephesians 4:17,18 –“Live no longer as the ungodly do, for they are hopelessly confused. Their closed minds are full of darkness; they are far away from the life of God because they have shut their minds and hardened their hearts against Him.”

John 8:12 –Jesus said to the people, “I am the light of the world. If you follow Me, you won’t be stumbling through the darkness, because you will have the light that leads to life.”



A unit called and requested the medical staff to evaluate this particular inmate they observed kicking the door at times and had not slept all night long. The charge nurse gave me the chart. He was just incarcerated that day. Asthma was the only medical problem marked on his health screen form. There was no history of mental problems.

A few minutes later, a tall man walked up to the clinic. His exhausted face had puffy eyes, red and slightly teary. He had good eye contact. Except, he seemed to be feeling low. He walked with a steady gait, but with noted slouched shoulders. He slumped on one of the blue chairs we use for sick calls.

To make the story short, the man admitted that he was hearing voices telling him to hurt himself. He has a history of depression, too.

I placed him in Suicide Watch to have custody and medical staff monitor him 24 hours a day for his own safety. I uttered a prayer for this depressed soul. I knew then, that whatever he was going through, ONLY the LORD knew…

“When morning comes, he will get the help he needs when the Psychiatrist comes. For now, it’s very important that we monitor his safety and keep him from taking his own life,"I told the deputy.

That man was long gone but I kept on thinking how hard it must be for him to be in this dark place, the jail, where there seemed to be no hope if he finds out that he has to stay for a long time because of the crime he committed. But much more, for his mental state to be also in the dark. That was like being imprisoned twice, physically and mentally!

We are all like that man, walking in the valley of depression, of darkness, of spiritual death. We are all spiritually dead because of sins, and only GOD KNOWS.

From Chapter 37 in Ezekiel [Life Application Bible], the Spirit of the Lord took Ezekiel to a valley filled with bones. The bones were scattered everywhere. And the Lord asked him, “Son of man, can these bones become living people again?”

“O Sovereign Lord, You alone know the answer to that,” replied Ezekiel.

The Lord said, “Speak to the winds and say: This is what the Sovereign Lord says: Come, O breath, from the four winds! Breathe into dead bodies so that they may live again.”

From Ezekiel’s vision, it illustrated that a new life can be restored both physically and spiritually. The dry bones represented the Jews in captivity – scattered and dead. Ezekiel felt he was speaking to the dead as he preached to the exiles because they rarely responded to his message. But these bones responded! Just as God brought life to the dead bones, He brought life again to His spiritually dead people.

Because God knew our state of eternal death, He sent His One and Only Son to be the sacrifice. He took away our sins by dying on the cross. But we must let Him in, into our hearts by believing in what Jesus had done. He is our only hope to restore our broken relationship with the Father, no one else.

If you are suffering from depression, please visit Brother Peter Stone’s site, a man who once walked in the valley of depression. But because of God’s grace, he managed to get out of the valley and eventually, he emerged on top! To God be the glory!

For those of you feeling there’s no more hope, let this post recommend you to be seen by Jesus! He knows what’s best for you to stop you from your heartaches and pains. Let His Light shine in the dark areas of your life. Please click on “Roman Road to Salvation” on my side bar to know how to accept Jesus into your life and live a life that will be full of meaning and hope. Just have faith and believe! We can have clarity and knowledge that comes from the Lord!





Have It To The Full



He turned his head again, with a smirky smile on his face. As if trying to tell me that “he got me!” But I continued to walk down that corridor, unfazed. I was about to start my shift. I was about to go to my work with a joyful heart, no matter what would come my way throughout the night…

I have been working nights for 19 years now. By God’s grace, when I sustained a painful neck injury from the hospital I used to work with, He brought me to a correctional facility, right when I was at the lowest point of my life.



To make a long story short, God did open this door of even a better and bigger opportunity. As soon as I started working in a detention facility, my neck pain had subsided. I didn’t need to lift patients. I didn’t have to deal with heavy Orthopedic kind of appliances like tractions, CPM’s [Continuous Passive Movement machine that exercises those newly-replaced knee joints], and others.



I’m not trying to say that the task is easier. It is not. Here, it’s a different kind of challenge to our Nursing abilities to assess, intervene and immediately treat illnesses or emergencies with the best option that is available.


I swiped my entry card and the electric-controlled gate swung open as I moved forward and found a great parking spot closer to the smaller gates where staff go in and out. Turning off my engine, I talked to the Lord, as I always do every night before going inside the detention facility. “Lord, I don’t know what will happen tonight. But You do. If it’s not too much to ask of You, may we have a quiet night? Lord, I ask for Your protection, for You to be my Shield. Please control my mouth and my tongue and my heart, that whatever I think or say will be pleasing to You. Lord, guide me with Your divine wisdom and give me the discernment, to do everything for Your glory! Use me as Your instrument in helping those who are still lost to find Your love and grace, through me. I thank You Lord for the peace and joy that You give me, despite me going into that dark place, I have nothing to be afraid of, knowing You are there with me.”



I opened the side door, grabbed my transparent bag that housed my little notes, stethoscopes and other things I use for work. With the other hand, I grabbed the see-through plastic bag that contained my sandwich, bottled water and a piece of fruit. I prefer to bring my food from home though we can order any food we want from our ODR [Officer Dining Room].



Swiping my card at every entry points, I reached “North Control” at the bottom part of this facility. It would be just a few steps away from my destination, the facility’s Clinic. I glanced at my watch. It was 11:25 p.m. I got 5 minutes to go before I was about to start my shift. My feet started rushing toward the door that led to the Infirmary.



About 2 feet away, that was when an inmate worker [dressed up in blues], came out of the door. Most of the time, if any inmate would come out, they patiently would wait for me or other staff and would hold the door open for us to go through. Not this particular inmate. He saw me, swung the metal door wide open so that he could let it close with a loud bang [if not on my face, at least, near my face!]. Bam! And it did! He saw me approaching with a couple of bags, one on each of my hand. It was obvious, I didn’t have an extra hand to open that heavy door.



That was when he looked, perhaps to see the kind of reaction his behavior would illicit from me, with that wide smirk, even without my eyeglasses, I would have seen from a distance. He was just so full of it! Full of whatever intentions he had to make me become angry, unhappy, intimidated or be afraid.



“Good night, “ I gently uttered as I smiled and acknowledged his presence. The smile on his face went away. He was dumbfounded. He didn’t expect that. I felt he wanted an angry kind of response. He stopped looking behind him [where I was]. He turned his head to its normal position, bowed his head, and his steps that were heavy as if intentionally done to cause an uproar became softer, softer as he headed down to the unit where he was housed. He never dared look behind him again. I didn’t hear the steps anymore and that body disappeared when the unit let him in.



He didn’t get me, but it is God’s love through me that got him! I might not know what he would still be thinking when he laid down on his bunk in his cell. I was not sure if a simple act of kindness thrown at his rudeness would make him think of what he just did. But one thing was for sure, he was not able to take my “joy” away. He was not able to intimidate me. He was not able to ruin my night!



The door from Infirmary swung open, too and my co-worker had popped it open upon seeing me by the door. I walked in, still with this unexplainable joy despite of what I had just experienced coming from a rude human being. No! My heart is too happy to notice those little annoyances. My heart will always rejoice, despite knowing that I’m working in a dark place where there are too many souls in need of the Light.



“Our unseen enemies are always lurking too, to seek, kill and destroy God’s children’s purpose for the Lord, their happiness, their joy. But no! They won’t succeed. For our God came here to give us lives and have it to the full!” "To the full" and don’t you Christian brothers and sisters forget that! God’s love and other blessings poured into our hearts until it overflows!!! “WE HAVE IT TO THE FULL!”

Who Am I?

“If you’re having chest pain, you wouldn’t be able to make it down here from your unit,” hollered one nurse to a female inmate who requested to be seen middle of the night.

Peering through the glass partition window, the inmate started getting upset and became belligerent to that nurse.

“If you are going to be upset like that, then sit over there and wait until I call you, " retorted the nurse.

While sitting on one of the plastic chairs in the waiting area, the deputy came, not knowing what happened, he just heard the last part when the inmate was angry at the nurse and was saying profanities.

“Don’t come here if you’re gonna’ have that kind of attitude. It doesn’t work here,” yelled the deputy.

“Sir, it’s not me! It’s those nurses. They don’t seem to care, " more profanities came out of her loud mouth. She heard two nurses laughing as they talked and perhaps, felt like they were talking and laughing at her.

“Rosel, do you mind seeing this inmate?,” requested the charge nurse, knowing that there was already an air of animosity between that inmate and the other nurse who initially saw her when the inmate walked into the clinic.

“Not at all, " I said.

“You’re gonna’ be good with her?”

“I’m always good with them,” as I smiled softly.

I motioned that inmate to go through the door that led to the inner part of the Infirmary where we house our gadgets to check for their vital signs. The deputy stood nearby to give me protection as he thought that the inmate has an unpredictable behavior and could be dangerous to staff.

Speaking softly and gently, I asked her, “ I heard you were having chest pain? Since what time? How bad? What kind? And do you have any heart condition that I need to know?”

Inmate: “I couldn’t sleep. My heart feels like it’s racing. It’s hard to breathe. I’m not really having chest pain, more of discomfort like it’s tight.”

“Ma’am, your blood pressure is normal. Except your pulse is high at 109. Your lung sounds are clear and you have no fever. May I ask you if you have a history of anxiety or even claustrophobia?”

Inmate: “You’re right. I do have panic attacks sometimes and it does feel like that. No! I’m not scared of small spaces.”

“Well, then [after doing an EKG to read the electrical activity of her heart], your EKG is normal. I would advise you to just try to relax. I can’t answer for the things that go around here. But I would request you to remain patient and try to calm down when you have episodes of panic like that. I saw that the Psychiatrist had already prescribed you some medicine for it. If you feel like they are not working or maybe not getting enough effects, you may always put a sick call request to see us.”

Inmate: “Thank you so much. I feel so much better now. Can I tell you something? You seem to be the only one nice around here. You never called me names. You never accused me that I was just lying. Thank you and I just want you to know that.”

I just smiled at her and reassured her, motioned for her to go back to the waiting area and rest until she felt much better. As soon as she closed the door, she had asked me if she could go back to her unit then as she felt more relaxed and able to breathe better. I gave her “pass” and out she went to the female side, steady gait and with a smile on her face.

I know….I treated her in a respectful way. But who am I to judge her? Who am I to yell at her and expect for her to change her bad behavior? Who am I to assume that she was just lying when I don’t see the true intentions of her heart?

I was once like her. Treated with ignorance, with rejection, with disrespect by this world. Laughed at, scorned at, and judged. Discouraged, unneeded, unheeded, and unaccepted sometimes. Broken and battered by the storms of life yet there was no one willing to stand by me.





Except for the One Who truly understood and saw my heart. He was the first to go through all those painful scorns and rejection by this world. No wonder why He understood what I had gone through…He had been there…

He treated me with an out-of-this-world compassion, of love, of mercy and of forgiveness. He changed my heart. I had no other wish but to conform to His likeness when I received His faithful love.

Who am I that even when I rejected Him, He continued to offer me His friendship and gift of salvation? Who am I that I was His enemy, yet He died for me and called me His friend when I finally trusted Him?

“Who am I to You, Oh Lord?” He spoke to my heart:

"You are My child and I am your Father."


"And I love you with an everlasting love."




Thanks for visiting me and I love you all with the love that comes from the Lord. Turn up that volume of yours and feel the faithful love that comes from the lyrics of this great song. Bask in the love from the One Who's always waiting for all of us to love Him back and acknowledge Him into our lives. How long are you going to keep REJECTING the One Who hasn't done you any wrong except to love you from the start?





Happy Mother's Day!

Exodus 20:12 -"Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you."

Proverbs 1:8 -"Listen, my son, to your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching."

Proverbs 31:30 -"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised."


My mother had passed away on December 28, 2000 after suffering from a stroke. She was a dressmaker who had sewn dresses with so much passion. She was also our "father" during those times that my dear father was away sailing as a Radio Operator in Greek shipping vessels.

She would wake up early in the morning to start sewing dresses until late at night. How adeptly she would cut the clothing material with precision and would create a masterpiece everytime! Much to her customers' satisfaction!

She loved going to church. All the hardships we went through as a family, she always would pour her heartaches to the Lord. She had taught me to grow up having that "reverential fear" to the Lord. Living in a country with Catholicism as the dominant religion, she went to church, guarded with the rosary beads, praying all the time or at our home, when she was done with her work. She gave her heart to the Lord in His perfect time. If she has compassion before, the more she had after surrendering to the Lord. The people who had hurt her, God made her to have a loving heart, instead of those hurt!

Yes, that's my mother, the Proverbs 31 woman who made many wonderful memories with her children. Memories that she had sewn to become masterpieces that we carry in our hearts even to this day that she's not here physically with us.

My brothers and I were so blessed to have "one of the best MOMs" here in this world. I miss my mother every day! But thanks be to God for His wonderful promise of eternal life, I know our love doesn't end here. Thanks be to God because of that, I have this hope I cling to, that we will reunite and that I will be able to hug her again and kiss her, the way she hugged and kissed me...

I was looking for the poems I had written for her which became my outlet to ease the loneliness I had after she went home to the Lord. Instead, I found this "book marker" my son had given to me when he was only 6 years old [he's 14 now] on a Mother's Day. It still brings me smiles and warms my heart every time...


front of the book marker:








back of the book marker:







God has given us many kinds of relationships: husband and wife, best friends, families, etc. But there is just something special about the bond of love shared between a "mother and her child".

God gave us "mothers" to help us or guide us, her children, grow into maturity as we live the lives God had given us in the first place. As children, we learn so much from the hearts of our mothers that endure, hearts that understand, hearts that do not see faults and are always ever forgiving, hearts that believe in our strengths and disregard the weaknesses, and hearts that truly love her children for who they are. Mothers are like a "big band-aid dressing" that just covers all the "boo-boo's" in life we sustain. At times of triumphs and successes, they are our personal "cheering squad".

I can only hope and pray that with the guidance I need to impart with my child, that he also sees God's love and wisdom through me.

So, "Happy Mother's Day" to all of you wonderful "Moms" out there! And I'm not only talking about mothers who have conceived children. I know some who don't have kids but have motherly instincts in them. I consider them as "mothers", too because I think it's not our physical achievements of giving births to babies that should qualify but of womens' hearts' abilities to love as mothers. So I remember you, as well. It takes a very unique and special person to become a "mother". Because it's never easy. But to those who commit their motherly instincts with the Lord, He will always direct your steps.

Don't take your mothers for granted. Every day is precious while they are here with you. Say "I love you", hug them, kiss them, not only on Mother's Day but every time you have an opportunity. Same thing with your children. Treat them well and always make the most of everything with them because they will always look up to you as their mothers.

This is a song I had written for my child on August 2004. As I was writing it, I remembered how the Lord has loved us first. It felt like He was singing it to me, the Author of love. No wonder that we, mothers, can learn so much from Him when we commit our ways to Him, even our ways of nurturing our children with an unconditional love.

1 Corinthians 16:14 -:Let all that you do be done with love."



Let All That We Do



You came into my life

The joy that you bring overwhelms me

It's not easy to find our way

When we face the trials that come every day



Chorus:



Let's remember, now and forever

Let all that we do be done in love

We are all loved first by God above

Let all that we do come from our hearts


As we look at uncertain times

We will be strong, we will be fine

For in perfect love, there'll be no fear

Our love will grow year after years

[repeat Chorus]

Let all that we do be done with love........be done with love......

RRRS 8/11/04

All posts/composed songs copyright by RCUBEs.



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